Hajimemashite and Konnichiwa, dearest reader-san! Apple Fairy here! .
Well, here's an…angsty NataliaxAsche fic for you. I hope you enjoy it:3
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of the Abyss.
Liar
Story by Apple Fairy
You promised.
When one makes a promise, you must uphold it. It's…common courtesy.
But you broke your promise.
I suppose you're rude, then.
Natalia could remember that in all the time she knew Asch, he had made a total of three major, impacting promises to her.
She remembered them all perfectly, and in chronological order. She repeated them to herself when she was sad, and would be reminded of Asch, which in turn would make her smile. Thinking of his scowling but brave face made her feel…pleasant, to say the least.
She supposed it was because of their first promise.
Their exact age wasn't clear to Natalia. She only remembered it was before he had been kidnapped by Van.
Natalia didn't mind not remembering the age. She only wished to hold onto the promise.
They had been good friends as kids. He acted gentle around her, but still treated her as the cousins they were.
Which, Natalia then remembered, she wasn't really apart of the royal family, and thus didn't make them cousins.
It didn't matter now. None of it did, to her.
But, she still forced herself to remember everything she could of Asch at that moment.
Was it a defense mechanism? To remember everything?
Oh well.
Anyway, they were good friends, always playing and having petty fights as kids tended to do. He also seemed to…protect the little princess. He watched over her, warning her against anything dangerous, or scolding her if she did do something dangerous.
He cared for her in his own little way.
His guardian angel-like acts was what produced the incident at the castle; it's what made him catch her when she fell out of one of the windows. He scolded her, as usual, and she wouldn't stop thanking him.
"You don't have to say 'thank you'! Just don't do something so stupid next time!" He huffed. Young Natalia shook her head stubbornly.
"No! I…I have to! You saved my life, Luke! I…Thank you!"
"Stop that! It's annoying!" He argued, embarrassed. She smiled at him.
"But you're always saving me! I…I'm really happy for that…"
Asch, Luke at that time, looked away from her. "…It's not that much…I just get worried for you…"
"I worry about you too."
Asch glanced to her shyly, then looked away. "Then…let's get married when we're older." He offered. Natalia, being the naïve and innocent princess she was, smiled and nodded.
"Okay. But let's promise with a pinky swear, okay?" She ordered and held up her hand, fingers curled in, only her pinky extended. Asch looked to her, frowned, and then shook his head.
"No. I hate pinky promises. That's a girl thing." He whined. Natalia glared at him.
"Do it, or I won't ever marry you!" She huffed, forgetting that they were already betrothed by their parents. Asch continued to frown, but obliged to her wish.
That was his first promise; To marry her.
Natalia closed her eyes, fiddling with her hands. She supposed, that was when she had first fallen for him.
No,she corrected herself, that's not when. Much later.
She met him once again in Yulia city, accompanying him with the others as Luke slept. She was still trying to cope with the fact that this person in front of her, Asch the Bloody of the Six God-Generals, was the Luke she had grown up with. It wasn't that murderer sleeping away back in Tear's house, but this man. Like all of them, she was also trying to accept the fact that Luke was a replica, but she was more trying to figure out how this Asch person was like.
She learned he was grumpy, angry most of the time, and demanding. She found him rude, to say the least.
But he also had an air of self-confidence about him. Like he knew he could get killed for going behind Van's back, but also knew that he could survive that type of ordeal.
She found it inspiring.
She tried to talk to him about the past; Perhaps remind him.
Sadly, he wouldn't listen. It was only the past to him.
But to her, it was more. Much, much more.
She grew to admire him and his stubborn attitude and his confident nature. In the Ortion cave, when he caught her, she felt her heart lift and beat. She remembered the castle fall and how he had caught her.
He remembered it, too.
And it was like he was softly gripping her heart. She felt it pulse and her veins warmed with blood. He was remembering with her. He didn't mind, he wasn't avoiding the subject, he was confronting it.
Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, he was still the 'Luke' she had known back then.
Natalia couldn't bring herself to smile, now. The chance that her childhood friend wasn't lost didn't matter now. None of it really did.
She willed herself to remember more.
His footsteps. His presence next to her.
This, yes, now, was when she had fallen, no, learned to love, not her childhood friend, but Asch of the Six-God Generals. The Asch that followed and yet betrayed Van, Asch the Bloody, the Asch that hated Luke for taking everything from him, the Asch that risked anything to help them, but most of all she loved the Asch that kept everything inside, in his heart, all his pain and sadness, and helplessness.
She knew the feelings were there.
She wouldn't pry the feelings out of him, no. They were his, and if he wanted to show them, or hide them, was his business.
Natalia forced herself to relive that day in Sheridan.
His strong words, his reminding her of her country, and then…
"Let's change this country. Change it so that no one has to be poor. Change it so that war never happens."
A promise. Well, maybe it was more of a vow, but she took it as the same thing.
"…Let's work together to change our country. For the rest of our lives. Together." She added. Natalia wondered if she was going too far; hinting too much.
"…I didn't say that because you were a princess." Asch had responded. Natalia had suppressed a smile. Either he didn't mind, or he didn't notice.
Asch looked to her, and Natalia didn't meet his gaze, remembering why she was there in the first place. She wasn't of actual royal bloodline...
"Your birth doesn't matter. Just do what you can."
And that was when. That was it; That was what sealed the deal.
Her heart and spirits lifting, and her want to cry. Luke, Guy, everyone, really, had tried their best to make her see that her father would still accept her, and they had helped in a way, but, Asch, well, he just gave her the strength. He handed it to her and said, 'You are you, and if you truly love this country, your birth won't hold you back from protecting it.'
Natalia hugged herself as she heard him leave.
"Asch."
He stopped and turned to her.
"What?"
Silence exploded. A long moment happened between them. She wanted to say something, something impacting, perhaps something more then a 'thank you'.
"…Promise?" She asked, her knees shaking. Promise me, Asch. Promise me that you'll help me. Promise me that you'll protect me. Promise me.
"Promise what?"
"You'll change this country with me."
Did he notice the secret message in her words? See what she was truly saying to him?
Natalia heard his footsteps walk toward her. She stiffened, but held her ground, not turning to see him, her knees shaking with…nervousness? Depression?
She didn't care for the details now. All she cared for was this moment.
He stood behind her, not saying a word. Natalia felt his body heat, could hear his quiet breathes. She felt so small behind him, so defenseless. Asch had always seemed stronger, so very secure with himself.
Her? Well, just look at her now.
Natalia shook her head. It didn't matter now; her past insecurities. She knew now that she was strong, and what happened in the past, and what happened to Asch…
Anyway.
He stood there for awhile. Natalia felt herself wanting him to say something, or do something. She wanted him to say something impacting, wanted him to wrap his arms around her, wanted Asch to bury his face into her hair.
She wanted him to show that he loved her.
She felt a weight on her shoulders and glanced to the source. Asch was holding them.
"I promise."
He squeezed her shoulders, then let go, his footsteps telling that he was leaving. Natalia didn't feel her heart fall from the lack of emotions, but let it swell with bliss. He had promised.
She didn't mind the lack of feeling in what he did. Asch was Asch, and she wasn't expecting, nor looking forward to him expressing his love openly.
He just wasn't the type. He was too anti-social for that.
And her? She was much too proper.
That was just how they were, and that was fine with her.
Either way, that was his second promise; to change Kimlasca with her.
Natalia opened her eyes and hugged herself. She couldn't cry. Not now. She had one more promise to remember. One more memory to relive.
After that? She could cry and bawl and shake all she wanted.
Until then, she had to stay strong.
She had heard it from Luke. Before they fought Van and ended it all. Before Luke disappeared, and before she resolved that they were both her precious childhood friends.
"…He had said he'd come back alive. He'd come back so that me and…you wouldn't grieve over him." He had said with a strained voice. Natalia felt horrid for making Luke relive the last moments with Asch, and offered to let him stop if he wanted to.
No, he had said, you have a right to know.
That was his third promise; to come back alive.
Natalia had closed her eyes and tried to imagine how Asch must of felt in his last moments. Fighting valiantly, never giving up; not even given that choice. She wondered if he felt brave, or scared…Was he thinking of her? Or of his replica, Luke, saving the world instead of him?
Natalia didn't think it'd matter now. She was angry with him. He made a promise. He had said he would come back.
But was he here? No.
She let the tears fall and buried her face in her hands. He had made three promises, all of which he had broken.
To marry her, to change Kimlasca with her, to come back alive so she wouldn't grieve.
But I'm grieving, Asch. She told him with a mix of anger and helplessness. He broke all of the promises.
He didn't marry her, he wasn't here to change Kimlasca with her, and he never came back alive.
Asch was dead.
Liar! She yelled mentally, as her shoulders shook and she crumbled under her bed's sheets. It had been a month since then, and with Luke's disappearance and Asch's death, she tried to stay strong, really, but it was at moments like these, when she woke up from a dream of either of them, that she would cry. She would lose it, and just crumble and break.
Natalia was human; even she had a breaking point.
Liar! You liar, you promised! You promised, and now what?! You're dead! You're dead and…Natalia hiccupped and sobbed heavily.
"…You're…Y-You're dead…and…there's n-nothing I can do about it." She whined and buried her head into her pillow, getting that dizzy head feeling one would get when they cry.
She hated how she was acting and how helpless and pathetic she felt and how she was still crying. How she was human, how she would reach her breaking point, and she couldn't do anything to stop the tears from escaping and flowing and falling. She hated herself for blaming Asch, and hated how she couldn't do anything but that.
She hated it. All of it.
But most of all, what she hated, was that he was gone, and for that, that absolute fact, was what she hated the most. She hated how there were no loopholes, or possibilities, but that absolute concrete truth that he was dead.
That Asch was dead.
Natalia laughed a bitter laugh as she stared at her tear-stained pillow.
"I-It's…not fair, Asch. I-I…I didn't even…I didn't even get to scold you for breaking your promise." She laughed a sad pitiful laugh, scrunched up her face in sorrow, and fell onto her pillow, wailing and sobbing.
The least you could have done was to never have let me fall for you.
That's the end of it! Wow that was…depressing.
I'm sorry it's written so short and so…bad. My writing is getting more horrid with each story. Oog. Dx
Oh! And when Natalia referred to Luke as that 'Murderer sleeping away in Tear's house', I was just putting her in character after what had happened at Akzeriuth. I don't hate Luke, and Natalia doesn't either, she was just disgusted with him at the time.
'Nyway, thank you for reading! I hope you have a much better day than Natalia was having. xD
Ciao!
-Apple Fairy