A/N: parts of this story don't exactly follow the story line, but it's not so far off that I would call it AU…
Disclaimer: i don't own anything...
All Tied Up
I wish I could tie you up in my shoes…
They clash.
They're extremely different, like fire and ice, and they've never gotten along. They never put much thought into it, because when something has worked a certain way for a long time, you don't question it. You just think to yourself "this is not a person I will ever be friends with". You just try not to get into each other's way. And you just leave it at that.
But they never left it at that. Instead, they clash.
But when they sing, there's no clashing, there's only harmony, and they're all tied up in each other.
The blonde, Quinn, is the perfect image of the perfect daughter. She is beautiful, innocent, and obedient. She's captain of the cheerleaders. She's in the celibacy club. She gets the best grades, has loads of friends, and her boyfriend is quarterback in the football team. Everyone in school wants to be like her, and she doesn't want to be anyone but herself.
The brunette, Rachel, is the perfect image of the perfect daughter. She works hard, has impeccable manners, and is the best student. She's unbelievably talented, and she knows it. She has very few friends, and an idiot boyfriend. Most people in school either ignore or bully her, but she doesn't want to change. She just wants to be herself.
They don't like each other.
"She's loud and obnoxious", Quinn says. "She thinks she's better than everyone else."
"She's only popular because people are scared of her", Rachel says. "She's not a nice person."
They're both sixteen, and that's the only thing they have in common.
During the performance for Any Way You Want It, the choreography dictates that they stand next to each other for about ten seconds. In those ten seconds, Quinn brushes her hand against Rachel's, and they both smile at each other.
The brunette is once again bullied in school. The students call her names and make jokes about her. She's a damn good singer, and she has a good heart, but no one gives her a chance because she talks too loud and dresses uncool and is far too intelligent and because she knows she's got talent. She sits alone at lunch and gets slushied by the blonde, and when she walks to class, she gets thrown into the lockers. People laugh at her when she offers her opinion and ignore her when she tries to talk to them.
When school is over, she gets on the bus. She comes home in tears and her two dads hug her and tell her everything will be okay. They tell her that she'll make it big. She'll get out of this town and go to New York, become famous, and all those mean people at school will regret not befriending her. They bake her cookies and turn on her favorite musical and tell her she's special and that she shouldn't change. "Rachel, you're perfect the way you are", they say.
The blonde rules the school. No matter what she wants, no matter when she wants it, she gets it. She walks down the hallways, talking with her friends and all the other students stare at them, wishing to be part of that group. At lunch, she gets the best table. She takes a slushie and throws it in the brunettes face, because she is the queen and the other girl is just the bottom of the social ladder. Everyone laughs, and a few people high-five her. At cheerleader practice, she orders her teammates around.
After school, she drives home in her jaguar. She finds her mother in the kitchen with a glass of wine in her hand, and her father in the living room reading one of his books she's not allowed to touch. She goes up to her room and stays there for the rest of the day. When she comes back down for dinner in the evening, her parents look surprised to see her. "How are you doing, Quinn?", her father asks, as if she was one of his business partners. "You should lose a little weight", her mother says, and pours herself another glass of wine.
Quinn has all the support at school, and no love at home.
Rachel has a house full of love, but no support at school at all.
They're both unable to sleep most of their nights, but that's the only thing they have in common.
Holly sings Do You Wanna Touch Me with the Glee kids, and Rachel and Quinn are the only ones who stay seated. They're not singing or dancing along, instead watching the whole thing with raised eyebrows and skeptical looks. When Holly dances over and gestures at them to join in, the both shake their heads. Then they look at each other, and suddenly break out into laughter. When they finally sing along, they stay close to each other.
Quinn knows she's beautiful, but she's still insecure about her body on a totally random level. She needs people to tell her how beautiful she is, and when a few days go by without anyone doing so, she panics. And when Quinn panics, she makes bad decisions, which is how she ends up with Noah Puckerman, the school whore, in his bedroom. She's drunk on wine coolers and begs him to call her beautiful one more time, and when he does, she lets him kiss her, and then she lets him do far more than just kiss her. Two months later, the morning sickness begins, and another two months later, she can't hide the pregnancy anymore. Her boyfriend breaks up with her, and her parents set the timer on the microwave. She has thirty minutes to get out of the house.
Rachel knows her future stardom is inevitable, but she still worries about people standing in her way, holding her back, and about not being good enough. When Glee Club gets a new member who's really good – maybe even better than her – she panics. And when Rachel panics, she makes bad decisions, which is how she ends up giving the girl the address to a crack house instead of the theatre where they're supposed to perform. When people find out, they stop speaking to her. She gets suspended and slushies thrown in her face three times in a row, and when she sits on the floor crying, no one cares. Her boyfriend breaks up with her and her dads tell her they're disappointed in her. For three weeks, she doesn't leave the house.
"Being beautiful is all I have", Quinn admits. "If I'm not beautiful, what is left?"
"Singing is all I have", Rachel admits. "What am I without my talent?"
They're both seventeen, they're both at the lowest points of their young lives, but that's the only thing they have in common.
Last Name is the only group song they ever did without Rachel. It's funny and racy and their lead singer, April, is phenomenal. They get standing ovations, and they're on a high. But for their second number, April is suddenly unavailable, and they need someone to save their show. It's Rachel who steps in at the last minute, and sings the lead for Somebody To Love. She's not part of Glee at this point of time, she doesn't know the choreography, she has never practiced the song with the club; all in all, it's a dumb idea. But when the girl belts out the notes as if it's the only song she knows, Quinn has never been more glad to stay in the background while Rachel shines.
They first time they ever sing a duet together, it's a mash-up of I Feel Pretty and Unpretty. If anyone thinks that it's strange that Quinn sings a song about feeling unpretty, they never say it out loud. They don't have a choreography or a theme. They don't have background dancers or singers. They don't have an intro. They just sit on their stools in front of the friends and teammates, both silent and shy, like they didn't practice this song at all. But when it's Quinn's turn to sing but tonight, I feel pretty and witty and bright, and her eyes shine with tears, Rachel has never been more glad to share a song and let someone else be more impressive.
Glee Club has always been about being who you are, and being proud of it. Thousands of schools all over the States have a Glee Club and it's the same concept everywhere. Be yourself. Spread the joy. Don't be afraid. Be proud and sing it out.
Rachel joined because she wanted to become a star, and over the course of three years, she quit two times because she doubted the club could help her in that.
Quinn joined because her cheerleader coach told her to, and over the course of three years, she quit three times because she was tired of doing what other people told her to do.
They both came back every single time for their own reasons.
"Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls, sing it for everyone who put you down", they shout into the auditorium with their teammates.
They know no other place on earth where they are so completely accepted for whom they are, but that's the only thing they have in common.
Don't Stop Believing has always been the hymn of the original four members of Glee. As their group grows and the years go by, they perform their trademark song more often, and they share their lines with everyone else who has joined them. A song originally sung by one person in the eighties, later performed by four kids, now divided into six parts for twelve people. Some critics have said that it sounds too pompous, but Rachel and Quinn think the song never sounded better.
Rachel has a mother. Her fathers are her family, but there is a mother out there she never knew, and when she finally meets her, she feels unbelievably happy. And Shelby, the woman who gave birth to her, tells her that she is finally ready to be a mother. But then, she doesn't want a teenage daughter, she wants a baby, and Rachel is left again with her fathers and a mother who just wants to admire her from afar.
Quinn names her baby Beth. She knows she can't raise her, can't give the little girl what she deserves, so she decides to give her away. It's the hardest decision she has ever made, but she knows it's for the best. She'll probably never get over the guilt, but she needs Beth to have a good life, and she can't give her that. It takes a long time for her to stop being sad, and she still dreams about her baby girl.
Shelby adopts Beth. The two of them form a family, and Rachel and Quinn lose parts of theirs.
"For a short amount of time, I had a daughter, and now I don't", Quinn cries. "You know that saying to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved? It's wrong."
"Who ever said that having loved and lost is better than to never have loved is an idiot", Rachel sobs. "I had a mother and now I don't. It hurts so much."
They're both eighteen, and "lowest point in life" just reached a new level, but that's the only thing they have in common.
When they sing Keep Holding On, Rachel breaks out of the choreography and reaches for Quinn. The blonde is busy crying and singing and trying not to break down, because they're singing this song for the daughter she gave away, but she does realize that Rachel should not be next to her during this part of the song. In this moment, she doesn't care, because with Rachel's voice in her ear, her own voice grows stronger.
For Quinn, using someone's real name instead of a nickname or a title is a form of respect. Quinn never calls Rachel by her given name. When she feels friendly, she calls her by her last name, Berry, but that's as nice as it gets. Mostly, she gives Rachel mean nicknames like Man-hands and RuPaul and Treasure Trail, all of which are supposed to make Rachel feel like she's ugly.
For Rachel, calling someone by a nickname is a form of intimacy. Rachel never calls Quinn anything other than her given name. She doesn't use the shortened version of her name, Q, like most others do. She doesn't call her by her last name, Fabray. Not even during Quinn's pregnancy, when people start calling her Tubbers or Juno, does she address the blonde as anything else than Quinn.
They both use names to show the other what they think of them, but that's the only thing they have in common.
When Santana sings Landslide and never takes her eyes off her best friend/maybe girlfriend/sometimes enemy/I don't know what to call you, but you mean something to me, everyone in the audience is either nodding appreciatively, smiling contently or sighing dreamily. Only two young women do neither of that. A blonde and a brunette close their eyes, let the song wash over them, and shed a few happy tears.
Rachel writes a song with the title Get It Right and dedicates it to no one, but everyone knows it's for her ex-boyfriend, because she's been trying to get it right with him for years now. Rachel cries when she sings the song, but she never admits who it really was for.
Quinn sings It's A Man's World and dedicates it to no one, but everyone knows it's for all the girls who have been treated wrong by a man. Quinn cries when she sings the song, but she never tells anyone why she actually sang it.
They both use music as an outlet, but that's the only thing they have in common.
Quinn goes punk and quits Glee. She dies her hair pink, gets a tattoo and piercings, and hangs out with girls who don't shower and call themselves The Skanks. "I'm tired of living up to other people's expectations, tired of trying to fit in, tired of being popular and tired of boys", she says, and after that, her friends stop trying to get her to come back.
Rachel finds Quinn hanging out smoking in an underground station. "This new punk thing…I don't know if it's a phase or a way of finding yourself…but I miss you. Come back whenever you feel ready", she says. Before she walks away, she adds "Quinn, this is our last year. This is our chance to finally get it right."
I wish I could tie you up in my shoes…
They clash.
Again and again, they clash, but somehow they never give up on each other, because when they sing, there's no clashing, there's only harmony, and they're all tied up in each other. When they sing, there's an understanding between them that wasn't there before. But that's the only thing they have in common.
And as they grow older, they start to realize that they keep saying this sentence a lot. And if they keep saying that there's only one thing they have in common, and it's always about a different thing, what does that mean for them?
They're different, but really not that much.
So they keep clashing, but that's perfectly okay, because they're both strong-willed and stubborn, and that's just one of many things they have in common.
fin