I'm unsure for a title (this has been in my files as Carrie/Harry Potter crossover) and I am open for suggestions. I don't own the characters, locations or names in this fic. I make this for pure enjoyment.

WARNINGS: mentions of rape (exactly 98 words), mentions of child abuse/violence (that's a big part of Carrie), and no magic. All Carrie (book and 2013 movie) universe with an added bonus of early HP timeline

(**)

She could feel it, the turmoil, the fear, the anger—the cold grip of death, all of it came from Carrie in hard, mad waves that attacked Sue over and over as she kneeled beside the muddy, blood covered girl with her hand trapped in the girl's vice like grasp. Her heart, their heart, was getting slower and slower. Sue's vision was darkening and she feared that Carrie meant to kill her as well but she didn't want that. She didn't want Carrie to die, she didn't want to die.

"Carrie, come on, don't do this. You can make it," she said.

"I'm scared, I'm so scared," Carrie whimpered although she need not because Sue could feel it in her very bones. She could feel the slick blood of Mama on her hands, the hatred that faded once she realized that she had killed her, killed the only woman that hadn't laughed at her, the one that tried to protect her. Oh no, Mama! Don't do this Mama, please, please! OH GOD, MAMA!

Sue wrenched away and clutched at her head, hoping that distance would banish the screaming but she was wrong. It came over and over, accompanied by the sharp fire as a knife sunk into her back, sinking so, so deep. Then the bite of each stair as she fell down the stairs to escape and oh the pain, pain, pain. No Mama, don't come close. No Mama! Don't hurt me, I'm not the devil. I don't want to die. Please, please, MAMA! MAMA NO!

"Carrie!" Sue shouted, throwing out her hand blindly as she searched beyond the woman with her long red hair framing her face and her brown eyes glinting with insanity as she raised the knife high above her head, "STOP IT! Your mama was not a nice lady, she was mean. She hurt you with words, she hurt you physically—she got what she deserved!"

Carrier's wavering blue eyes locked onto her, cold and hard and, for a brief moment, the tidal wave of anguish stopped and Sue could think clearly. She nodded wildly, trying to get the girl to fight. She wanted her to fight just one last time.

"Your mama was mean Carrie. You never wanted to hurt her but when she did that to you… when she stabbed you and tried to kill you, you retaliated as anyone would. You did the right thing by defending yourself. You did the right thing by fighting. Please Carrie, please fight to live. Please live," Sue begged. She lowered her forehead until it was pressed onto the other blonde's, allowing their hair to merge and their thoughts to tangle once more. She could feel it, deep inside Carrie, she could feel the small flicker of hope that someone loved her and wanted her around and Sue… Sue did want her around.

"I can't… I'm so… so…" Carrie trailed off and for a second their heart stopped. It was a terrible pain that echoed in Sue's chest as her heart tried to follow Carrie's into the peaceful grey of death. The tears that had been burning in the back of her eyes suddenly lurched forward and spilled onto the dirty, round face of Carrie White with her glazed blue eyes staring up at her. Carrie wasn't dead, she just couldn't be! Sue pushed her forehead hard onto the younger girl's and gripped her hand as tightly as she could.

"I know you're tired. I know you've been fighting a failing battle since day one and I know… I know you're scared to fight some more but you have to. You can't die Carrie… please, I've lost almost everyone else. Please don't… don't leave me," Sue whimpered. She pushed every feeling of warmth and love she had ever felt and wished for Carrie to feel. She pushed the affection she had started to grow for the blond, the fear of losing the girl she was just beginning to really know and her anger—her anger at Carrie for giving up before she fully got a taste of happiness. Her anger that Carrie, a girl that had never even thought of hurting someone before this dreadful night, would die in a dirty ditch a few feet from her home where her mother had attempted to kill her but found that this frightened little girl was much stronger.

And then… she felt it. Pain erupted in her chest in a blinding fit then withdrew just as quickly, leaving her gasping for breath. Carrie arched under her as her own breath slammed back into her lungs and her eyes widened with tears streaming from her eyes that were—oh thank God—filled with life.

"Sue," she whimpered, shifting her grip onto the front of Sue's shirt then to her shoulders, pulling the taller girl down onto her. Sue sighed in relief and rolled them onto their side, hugging Carrie back as tight as she dared. She knew that the girl was in pain, could feel the low thrum of it in the back of her mind, and she didn't wish to aggravate her wounds.

"Shh, I'm here Carrie. I'm here. I'll always be here," she whispered, rubbing the girl's shoulders over and over. Carrie White would fight some more.

(**)

How much time had passed? How long since that fateful day that had nearly taken her life happened? When was the last time she opened her eyes to sunlight? Carrie stared out into the darkness, back against the cool wall and hands curled onto the white sheets. She didn't know the answers to these questions and every second brought her closer and closer to insanity. She hadn't gotten away with killing those people, her tormentors. Of course she didn't, of course she didn't.

Those that she left to live like Miss Desjardin who listened to her and seemed to actually… like her and Dawson and his date Erika who were so kind to her, so unknowing how everyone else treated her and what they called her. Each of them spoke of that night, they knew what she could do and they told the authorities and the law people that came around. She was a monster, they cried. She killed everyone without trying, covered in blood and bringing nothing but Hellfire as she floated. But it seemed as though no one believed the people of the little town, called them crazy and made absurd excuses that made little to no sense but could put the minds of others at rest. It would help them sleep to know that she was dead, buried under tons and tons of rocks that appeared from nowhere. But she wasn't.

Carrie wasn't dead, she wasn't! She had chosen to live, she had chosen to fight just one more time and here she was. Men and women in black and gray took her away, swept her off the hospital bed and placed her in this room and no one knew that she were there, she was alive. No one knew what they were doing, the men and women in white, always framed with white light like angels but these angels just brought pain and darkness.

When was the last time she saw the sun? When had she last breathed in fresh air? When was the last time she heard laughter that wasn't filled with malice or heard words not detached of emotion or exceptionally cruel. When, oh when!?

Carrie whimpered and brought her stick thin legs to her chest, wrapping one arm around them but keeping the other tangled in the sheets. She had to hold onto something, feel something that was real. If she didn't, if she let go of the sheets that proved to be real in her most desperate times then she would fly off and never, ever come back down.

"Shh, I'm here Carrie. I'm here." A warm hand rubbed along her back, careful to not brush against her stab wound but still comforting her as though the person meant it. As though someone cared for her and wasn't frightened of her.

Sue. Sue was here, she was there like she said she would be, she was there! The smell of sweat, fear and blood filled her nostrils and something that was simply Sue as well. Sue with her heart beating in time with hers, willing her to live and to fight and to exist. CARRIE NO!

The blond shook her head and tried to concentrate on the sheet, feel its fabric and smell the sterility of her surroundings. The wet grass she felt under her body, the warmth of Sue beside her was not real. It was not there, she wasn't with Sue, the other girl had lied to her! She let them take her, she abandoned Carrie, she let them hurt her and bruise her. She let them do these tests, let them drug her and force her to do things over and over while they tried to find her breaking point and oh she was so close.

She blinked back her tears as they would do nothing but soak and fill the contraption on her face that kept her blind. After the death of three doctors, two nurses, six guards and ten doors, they had realized that she needed to see her target if she wanted to move it so they put this thing on her. It blinded her, sent shocks of pain if she didn't obey and sometimes gave her images that weren't real. She hated it but no amount of tugging worked and promises to behave went unheard and ignored.

Footsteps.

Carrie froze on her bed and her heart thudded in her chest hard enough to beat a tattoo on her thin nightgown. She didn't like those footsteps, she hated them and she wished for them to deafen her as well.

"You think it's awake?"

No.

"Do you know how much they pump into her? Shit, it's a miracle that this subject is still standing—must be the real deal. You know I heard Tommy's been fucking it and the others too. Crazy bastard."

Rough hands pushing her thighs open, forcing a body much too large between until she was sure her hips would break in half. Cruel, breathless chuckle echoing in her ear, hot, stinking breath taking over her senses—no, no! The sheet, thin and cool under her fingers, real. Sterile smell.

"That's disgusting! I know we call them 'it' but she's a human being—someone's daughter. This girl is pumped full of drugs almost every hour of the day. Despite her abilities or the abilities of anyone in this place, she cannot fight back. She couldn't lift a finger to stop anything. To take advantage of such a hopeless person…"

Pain, erupting between her legs and arching to her toes, she was being torn in half. She could feel the pain all the way into her stomach, she knew she was bleeding worse than her first experience being a woman in that locker room and she couldn't do anything to stop it. There was no one there to help her, to stop this or to make her understand just what was happening. Stop, please. Sue, help. Please, come back Sue.

No, no, not real. No pain. Just numb, so, so numb.

"You telling me that you've never been tempted? It's got a pretty face even with that metal thing on it."

"I am new here but, from what I understand, we are not here to make these subjects' lives harder than what they are. Committing such a… a foul act does nothing in the name of science or to toughen security. It is a vile, violent action and if I so much as hear a whisper that you even dared to approach any of these people I will end your very existence. And that goes for all of you. Now, let's get her down to Dr. Todd."

Go away, no, no. The door was opening, she could hear it and it was real. It was just as real as the sterile room and the cool, thin sheets clenched in her fist and the numbness that tried to overtake her mind and send her into the hallucinations of what happened but wasn't happening but happened and… and…

"Sssh, it's going to be okay," a breath warm but not oppressive breath fanned over her face and it smelled of peppermints instead of punishment. It was new, something she hadn't smelled on any of these men or women before. And, for a moment, Carrie relaxed even as gentle hands grazed her arms and guided her to a standing position.

"There you go, nice and easy," the voice encouraged, a warm arm wrapping around her shoulders and guiding her step by step forward. She didn't know where she was moving but she was moving and it scared her because the sheet, she was leaving the sheet! Carrie froze and began to resist despite knowing that she couldn't get away, she could never get away.

"Sh, lassie, don't panic. We aren't going far. Just down to give you a little exam. You know them, want to make sure you're fit. It'll be okay, just concentrate on the cold metal under your feet and the feel of my hands on your shoulder… maybe the smell of my candies—I eat them a lot," the voice continued, becoming her focus point. It was soothing and ongoing, saying things that she didn't really care about but she accepted it because no one in this place spoke to her unless it was to be nasty.

"Ah, you brought in Subject 1408," another voice hit her like a bucket of cold water. She jerked in the firm grip at the sound of that emotionless, cruel voice. The voice linked to cold hands that poked and prodded and pinched and stabbed. The voice that commanded her over and over, forced her to do things over and over until her body shook and her spirit whittled away one chip at a time.

"Of course Doctor," the soothing voice deadpanned and Carrie felt as the hands lifted her slightly and placed her on an examination table then began to leave.

"Wait, please, no!" Carrie cried out, reaching for the warm hand and the peppermint breath. She didn't want the sterile anymore, she didn't want the cold bed that felt so much like metal and lights so bright she could almost feel it searing her skin. She hated the hands so rough and careless and the jolt of electricity that pulled a weak whimper from her throat and had her convulse on the cold examination board. She hated that the person didn't react to her pain, didn't try to dim it in any way, instead simply arranging her body as they saw fit. She hated Sue for not being there to fight for her, she hated herself for being too weak to fight for herself but…

Carrie felt a small smile spread across her lips as she laid limply on the coldness and turned her head towards the burning light. The smile turned to a giggle and the giggle into a chuckle and the chuckle into a roaring laughter that was colored in hysteria. She screamed with her laughter because she knew something that they didn't. They thought she was going insane, they thought she was becoming complacent but that wasn't true. No, NO! She wasn't crazy and she… she would never become their living, breathing attack doll. What was happening was something she would never share with them because they would try to take it away from her and she couldn't allow that, no, no. No, she couldn't allow that, not at all.

She knew that she wasn't crazy and she wasn't complacent. Instead, Carrietta White was simply giving up. She was losing her fight, her soul, her life. And pretty soon her heart would stop holding onto that vision of Sue Snells, the thought that someone out there would finally take the weight from her shoulders and help her and it would give out.

She only had to wait.

(**)

To Be Continued

Okay… that went well…