When the West was wild and Gibbs even wilder
He wanted to kill Vance. They did not need team building. He did not need to build a team. He had one. He had the team he knew. But this was stupid. An away day at a Theme Park. He, that would be Vance, had employed a psychologist to get more out the staff. Dress up. Like, yes………the old wild west extras in a film plot. The only good thing, the bar it had bourbon, which was not watered down. He indicated to the barman, who slid the bottle down the bar. Gibbs caught and smiled. He was dressed as the saloon owner, ranch owner, the Boss. The trousers tight, the cowboy boots, black, the black waistcoat with the pocket watch draped across. The three quarter length black jacket. The gun belt slung over his hips. He was sophisticated. The black hat lay on the bar.
****
He had watched as DiNozzo had exited the shop. The jeans, leather chaps and the cowboy boots. He was a little OTT. The knotted kerchief round the neck made him so camp. Tim, trying to copy had got his spurs wrapped round his lasso and was somehow tied up, face down in the dirt. He poured another bourbon. And smiled. He wondered where Ziva was. He worried when he couldn't see her. Abby, appeared as a chorus girl. The boots over fishnet stockings. The several layers of petticoats. The corset tight emphasising her slim waist. How she was going to dance in that. Ziva appeared dressed as Abby was, a chorus girl.
"I do not do dresses." she announced stamping her foot, and almost falling over in the high heeled boots.
"Ok who do you want to be?"
"Mishap Joan." she shouted.
"I think you mean Calamity Jane." Tony had replied now entering the bar, through the swing doors, narrowly missing Tim who was behind.
"Whatever…….Gibbs please, I feel awkward in this dress."
"Ok. Ok go and change, but it has to be something western." downing another shot.
"Personally I would like to see her dressed as a Sioux Squaw. Dressed in suede hide. Her hair tied back and the headband……………….." as Tony went all misty eyed.
"And probably a knife at your throat, Tony." Tim responded, hobbling into the bar, his arm on one of the chorus girls.
"All I need is for you lot to act a bit less camp and a bit more…………. Hell I don't know. All I know is I'm bored. Where's Ducky?" Gibbs snarled.
"Over in the undertakers shop. He says he was wanting to see the old instruments and see how things got done in the olden days." McGee answered.
"Maybe I should go and make a coffin." Gibbs retorted. "What are you lot supposed to be doing anyway?"
"Well I'm dancing later, and the boys are the extras for the big shoot out at the end of the rodeo. You know….AHHHHHHHHHH I'm dead, as the bad guy holds his chest and falls off the roof into a pile of mattresses behind the Saloon." Abby instructed Gibbs.
"Great and I am supposed to do what?"
"Well you could go and seduce a few chorus girls, play poker, or generally just be yourself….grumpy." she answered, walking away.
The barman handed Gibbs coffee, "You have 20mins before the show starts. They bring the herd thro' first and then the cowboys show off their lasso skills and then we have the shoot out and well that's about it except for the chorus girls at the end."
He picked up his hat, placed it on his head, took the coffee and walked through the swing doors and into the early afternoon sun. His eyes smarted with the light, he slanted them. The coffee was good. They stood on the porch of the saloon. Gibbs leaning over the rail, his right foot resting on one of the rungs, surveying the audience. He turned and watched as Ziva returned, and yes she was dressed as an Indian, but had somehow persuaded the costume department to give her the suede trousers and shirt. The knife belt hung from her hips. She did look like Calamity Jane. Well in Tony's eyes.
"Happy?" Gibbs asked.
"No. Are you?"
"Nope" he had smiled looking back to the street as the cattle rounded, the building and down the dusty path. The cloud of dust they produced smarted their eyes. As the dust settled all they heard was a woman scream. They saw what looked like a rag doll, a shop mannequin lying crumpled in the dirt. He threw the coffee away and walked down the wooden steps.
The gun holster slung round his hips, gave him a swagger as he walked. The cowboy boots kicking up the dirt, the hat tipped back, if he had smoked he would have thrown the cheroot away. Oh yes Gibbs was the Boss. He strode across the dusty street to where the body lay mangled. The life fluid seeping from the imprints of the hooves. It wore desert fatigues, he could just make out the words, US Marines. He smiled the Gibbs smile. Oh yes this was right up his street.
****
The man came running towards Gibbs. He had the Sheriffs badge pinned to his waistcoat.
"Who are you?" shouting at the team.
"Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS and that body has US Marines on the clothing. So Sheriff…." now flashing his badge and ID, smiling at the man "I think I just over ruled you."
The guy tore the badge from his waistcoat and handed it to Gibbs. "Here Agent Gibbs, I just made you Sheriff." as he turned away and was violently sick. Gibbs smiled, looked at the team, who were already in action.
"Boss, mobile phone pics, that OK?" McGee had said.
"Yep" tipping the hat back and kneeling down to the body. No dog tags. What was this Marine doing here in this setup. He stood up.
"Ziva. Go and interview the manager and any personnel officers you can find, oh and if you find a camera, the ones they take group photos with, get it."
"Jethro, what have we got here?" Ducky had asked running from the undertakers shop. "Ahha, tenderised by rump steak I would say." now looking down at the body. "And I see Marines. Well this is your happy day. And I see they made you Sheriff."
"Catch DiNozzo." as Gibbs threw the badge. "Nope. I just resigned." He looked as Tony pinned the badge to his being. He was the Sheriff of a Dodgey City, as it would become later that day.
"Ducky what are we going to do. I mean you need to get the body back to autopsy., and I need to investigate. We need to clear the area and, our body."
"I would say scrape off the ground, or could you possibly give me a hand. Talking of which, where is the left hand? And look rope burns I would say on this one." lifting the right arm up with a scalpel, which he just happened to be carrying, and showing Gibbs.
"Ducky, what do you think he died of?"
"Shock, if not already dead, but I would say unconscious, before being tied to the flanks of two of the cattle. I think it was just unfortunate that he fell where he did and you just happened to be about."
"So McGee, get Duks a couple of black refuse sacks. We need to improvise."
"Yes Boss, and you need gloves, sorry we……….."
"Trunk of my car McGee. Never leave home without your gear"
"Yes Boss."
"DiNozzo……….what are you doing?" now looking at Tony who was prancing about showing off his new badge. "I'll have your other one if you don't get a grip."
"Ss…….oory……….Boss, its just I've always wanted to be sheriff………On it Boss." as he sees the look in Gibbs eyes.
"Boss, I got the camera," handing it to Tony. "Your body is surplus…."
"Well, he is now" Tony whispered under his breath "But I think you mean extra, Ziva. He was an extra."
"Boss, why does he always correct me. I knew that Tony, I was going to say surplus to requirements." sticking her tongue out at him.
"No you weren't……….."
" Yoi…..Children. We are supposed to be professionals, but if, you both insist on acting your shoe sizes instead of your ages, I may have to withdraw all privileges. So Ziva our Marine is who? And he was going to be an extra, right."
"Yes Boss."
"And?"
"Private Colin Webster. Just joined up. It was a toss up between acting and the services. Father said get a proper job, so he joined up but still did some acting here."
"And………?"
"Boss, here" McGee said offering Gibbs and Ducky the gloves and the black sacks. "Now what?"
"In the absence of Mr Palmer, I think………….DiNzzo, David………here, help Duks will you. Ziva I think you maybe a bit more used to this than Tony. McGee call for an ambulance to help get him to Washington. Where's Abby." now looking about.
"And you are going where Jethro?" Dr Mallard now enquired.
"I think I'll go and have a nose about……….."
"Oh Gibbs, can I give you a hand 'cos there's one just on the corner there." Abby announced laughing, now appearing without the dress but back in her own gear. "Thought if Ducky was going back to Washington, I could go too. Didn't really fancy being a chorus girl".
"Pity" Gibbs replied smiling "I was waiting to see you perform. No, I'm going to see the manager. McGee interview our ex-sheriff."
"On it Boss" as he walked away to the man now sitting on the saloon steps drinking whiskey.
Gibbs walked to the managers office, he wanted to see the employee records. He passed the hand, whistled to Ziva, who went to retrieve.
****
"Agent Gibbs, what can I say. I just don't know… yes I'll give you all the information and help you need. You realise I have had to give everyone back their money, and free tickets for another show."
"I need to know about the cattle and the cowhands. They belong to the setting or freelance?"
"They come from the ranch up the road. Same guys usually………..and the cattle are not that old. I say usually, but this week it was three guys I'd never seen before. Said they were just hired and the Rancher had given then a chance to join in."
"You trust them?"
"No reason not to. Why?"
"Just wondering need to look at all angles. The deceased, Colin?"
"Worked here through the summer to get money. He was proud today, to say the least. His dad was going to be so proud of him. He loved the uniform."
Gibbs looked down and wrote, yes he had been proud of his uniform too. If maybe things had been different he might have stayed in……….. "So the three cowhands, they were new. Not think of finding out from the ranch owner anything about them?"
"As I said Agent Gibbs, I had no need to doubt them."
"Ranch owners name?"
The manager wrote the name on a piece of paper. "Agent Gibbs, you will find out what happened, I mean this is bad for business."
"Sir, as they say in all good westerns, I always get my man." as he took his hat from the desk, put it on his head, turned and walked out the office.
****
"Tim, here now. Go and speak to the ranch owner." handing McGee the paper, "Take my car" as he handed Tim the keys.
"Yes Boss"
"DiNozzo………what are you doing now?" looking bemused as Tony tried to untangle his lasso from his spurs.
"See Tony, not as easy as it looks is it?" Tim questioned walking away smiling.
****
The bullet ricochet off the wooden frontage. DiNozzo ducked for cover. Gibbs rounded the corner. "You OK" he shouted.
"Boss, two o'clock on the roof." DiNozzo shouted back. Tony was behind the water trough. Gibbs at the corner of the bank He took aim and fired. The man fell, no tumbled off the roof and onto the dusty ground. He was already dead before he hit.
"One down, two to go." Tony whispered to himself.
Gibbs heard the horse before he saw it. The rider and horse moving fast. The rider had the colt shooting as he passed. What he didn't expect, was for the rope to come from nowhere. It caught him round the chest, pulling him from his stead. He fell to the ground. As he struggled he looked at the feet of one Agent McGee.
"Going somewhere?" Tim asked holding the rope, and tipping his hat up. The two cowhands at his back.
"Wow, you do that Tim?" DiNozzo asked.
" 'Course he did" Gibbs replied smiling and giving Tim a sly wink. "So what you find?"
"The hole in the wall gang, they were going for the safe. You know, tie the cattle to the frame work and let them rip the railings and the wall out, in and then off with the safe." Tim replied.
"Good work McGee. You guys alright." now looking at the cowboys.
"Apart from some rope burns and a headache. I think we are. But where is our third bandit?"
The stable door swung open and creaked on its hinges. The man screamed again. "Don't let her hurt me. I didn't want to do it. They made me. I just wanted a few bucks." he was spreadeagled held on the door by Ziva's knives.
"Why DiNozzo does he want a few deer?" she asked as Tony started to walk towards her.
"He means dollars, green bills. But hey you've done well"
As Ziva looked at Tim still holding the lasso. "I think McGee did Ok too. You seem to have forgotten." looking about "Tony where is Gibbs?"
They all looked down towards the saloon.
The two men stood staring at each other from opposite ends of the street.
"High Noon or do you think, For a few dollars more?" DiNozzo had asked. They watched as Gibbs walked to the inert body. He picked the Winchester off the ground, pointed it at the man, smiled, slung it over his shoulder and headed for the bar. Vance followed. It had been a good day, even Vance had agreed.
"Just don't ever do that again Agent Gibbs."
"And that would be what Vance?" as he downed a Jack.
"Point a gun at me."
"It was empty."
"I know" his boss had answered "But next time it might not be."
Gibbs just smiled, oh yes maybe next time it might not be.
The End