Okay, I figured I needed to write something like this. Because I needed something along the lines of this right about now. And I will not apologize for it.
It'll be okay. It'll all be okay.
–Maybe not right now.
But it'll be okay.
He knew that. He knew that brighter days would come and he would feel better. But if those days decided to come here a little faster than it seemed, that would be great. Because right now was a pitch black hole he had fallen into and the walls were steep and slick and he couldn't climb out on his own. He tried to, for sure, he tried to.
He sat in his chair, his eyes locked on the television. His mind didn't register what the pictures it showed was, he didn't even notice it was the news he was watching. Or staring at.
There was no telling how long he'd been there. No telling how long he'd been lost in his own mind, but if one were to test the temperature of the coffee cup standing next to him, one would conclude that he'd been there for a few hours.
He had barely moved a muscle. He had blinked every now and then, but that was about it. He just sat there.
Tomorrow's gonna be better. Or the day after that. One day is gonna be better.
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His phone buzzed. The vibrations in his pocket brought him back enough so that he managed to check his phone. It could be from work, then he could be useful. Or it could be from Mac or Riley, maybe they needed him?
Nope. It was one of his alarms. The one he had set for 12:30 am reminding him to go to bed. He shook his head and sighed, then he turned the alarm off.
"Just what I need… Another day. Wasted…" he sighed once again, then he stood up and walked his coffee cup and the plate with the un-eaten toast over to the kitchen area. He contemplated whether to just throw away the drying piece of bread with cheese on it, but decided to just put the whole plate inside his fridge. "Prob'ly just look at it during breakfast tomorrow too…"
He rolled his eyes at himself as he shut the refrigerator door, "You're pathetic…"
He padded over to his bathroom. Looked himself in the mirror and ran a hand over his beard. It was on the verge of that length where you transform from 'grown-up, yet young and active' to 'grandpa, about ready to play Santa Clause'. He tilted his head from side to side and studied it.
"I'll do something about that tomorrow…" He concluded after a minute or so. Just like you decided yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that, and the… The last two weeks or so… You lazy piece of shit. "Yep… Tomorrow."
As if…
He opened the cabinet over the faucet. Looked at his toothbrush. Didn't reach towards it, just looked at it. "Maybe tomorrow…" Most of my teeth ain't even mine, and who cares if I skip brushing my teeth once in a while…
He closed the cabinet again. Did the bare minimum of what you usually do in the bathroom before you get ready for bed and walked into his bedroom.
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He flopped down on his bed. Like a marionette with its strings cut. He didn't bother taking off his jeans or t-shirt. Just reached out for the cover and pulled it on top of himself.
He stared at the ceiling as he hoped that he would have five hours of uninterrupted unconsciousness without any nightmares resurfacing. They probably would though, just like every other time he felt low. His nightmares seemed to know when that was.
Okay, so… That was the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.
I might add a few more chapters, not sure just now. Let me know what you think!