Author's Note: I haven't exactly seen many fanfics centred around O'Chunks. This really disappointed me, cuz Chunky-boy is my second-fav minion. And soooo... I decided to do a random one-shot centred around O'Chunks! Enjoy!

O'Chunks sniffed the air. Yum. Scrambled eggs, toast, baked beans, bacon. A decent enough breakfast for a warrior.

He burst through the door and swerved his chair around. Plopping into it, he began shovelling food into his mouth hungrily.

Dimentio raised an eyebrow at him. "O'Chunks, my dear pal, I suggest you slow down there. You're eating faster than Mimi gets angry at me for stealing her diary."

"Hey!" snapped Mimi.

O'Chunks shrugged. "Ah'm 'ungry, lad."

"I can see that," remarked Nastasia. "O'Chunks, slow down, 'K?"

The warrior immediately ceased his eating. Dabbing at his cheeks with a nearby napkin, he politely asked, "May yeh please pass teh orange juice?"

Slightly disconcerted by the warrior's sudden change of behaviour, Mimi reached for the orange juice and passed it to O'Chunks. She reached over Mr. L, who was reading a book as intently as if it was one of his blueprints.

"What's that?" asked Raven, who had just come in.

"Cheese," muttered L.

Raven cocked her head. "Hungry?"

Mr. L looked up and gave a start. "Rave! Didn't see you there."

"I just came in," snapped the forest girl, taking her seat. "There's a new nest of bluejays. I'm gonna look at them after breakfast."

"Ooh, ooh! I wanna come!" piped up Mimi.

"Calm down, Mimi," sighed Nastasia.

O'Chunks eyed the lass fondly. She managed to be perfect even when she was snappy and irritable.

"So," said Dimentio, "the whole 'cheese' thing?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," hissed Mr. L, returning to his book.

The girls packed up and bid the boys farewell. L began complaining about the new gender-rotation way the Evenes were working the chores schedule. Eventually, they gathered at the sink and began washing the dishes.

"This SUCKS!" exclaimed Mr. L suddenly, as a plate fell from his hands and shattered.

"Ooh, someone's in trouble," cooed Dimentio.

Mr. L bent down and hurled one of the shattered plate pieces at the jester. He dodged it nimbly. However, O'Chunks didn't. And he was right behind him.

"AAAARRGH!"

O'Chunks stumbled backwards as the plate shard slashed his right eye. The plate piece nicked his cheek before falling to the ground. Groaning in pain, O'Chunks held his face in his hands, while blood dripped horrifically from his eye.

Gaping at what he had done, L stumbled backwards. Then, recovering, he spread his wings and sped with Rainbow-Dash-worthy speed from the room.

"I'll get help!" he called over his shoulder.

Dimentio supported the warrior to a nearby chair. Panicking slightly, the jester prised the warrior's hands from his face and winced at the damage the plate had done.

"Dimentio," muttered O'Chunks through gritted teeth.

"Don't worry," panted the jester. He performed a complex figure-of-eight movement with his fingers, and the blood stopped. However, O'Chunks was still in pain.

"DIMENTIO!" yelled O'Chunks, as his finger slipped across his eye and he shouted in pain.

"C-calm down!" stammered Dimentio. He clicked his fingers and summoned a roll of bandages. He had just finished bandaging the eye wound when L burst through the door, leading the Count and the Lady.

"Are you okay?" demanded Timpani, while her husband rushed to his minion and studied the injury.

"Ah'll live," murmured O'Chunks.

"You better," snapped L. "If you don't, I'll never forgive myself."

"Ah won't either," muttered O'Chunks, then smiled weakly. "Ah'm fine. Ya go have fun."

"Not until we make sure you're better," snapped the Count.

O'Chunks smiled again. At least he knew he could count on his mates.

Author's Note: FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU - I suck. At hurt fanfics, and just at one-shots. Srsly. Game over me now.