De-anon from the kink meme.

Human AU - zombies.

Eduard sighed, leaning back in his chair. It had been Toris' idea to keep an eye out for other survivors from the roof of the hotel, and it was a good idea, but it was the most depressing task ever. Hours and hours of watching the undead ramble about the streets, searching for someone desperate enough, or stupid enough, to venture out. It might not have been so bad if they took regular turns, but as the best shot, Eduard took most of the shifts, only occasionally trading off with Toris when he needed sleep.

A loud noise startled Eduard into straightening as he fumbled for his gun, cursing quietly under his breath.

Peering through the scope to see several people in a van that seemed to have blown a tire – a driver, and two armed men - a passenger and another man sticking up out of the sunroof carrying what looked to be standard rifles - Eduard scooped up the radio. "Toris, we've got survivors in a van. At least three that I can see, possibly more. Just off the front entrance. They've got guns, but the tire's shot and they're not going to make it out without help. Be careful."

A hiss of static was followed by a distorted voice. "Got it."

Nodding to himself, Eduard set the radio back down, turning his full attention back to the van. There were four visible now, a young girl had joined the man standing up through the sunroof, picking off zombies with a high-powered rifle, similar to Eduard's own gun.

They were both pretty good shots, though it wouldn't matter once they ran out of bullets.

A loud, ringing clang had the zombies turning away from the van. Eduard smiled recognizing the noise – Ivan did like his pipe. Then he leaned forward, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself.

The newcomers were going to need all the help they could get.

Toris had shaken Raivis awake at the first sound of trouble, while Ivan was already awake. Feliks was still sleeping, but his wounded leg made him more of a liability than an asset in a fight, so Toris let him sleep, setting the spare radio next to the bed just in case.

The three made their way down the stairs, only stopping to grab weapons and shoes as they maneuvered around the traps. By the time Eduard's message came, they were already on the ground floor, watching the zombies pooling around the van through the cracks in the boarded up windows.

The people in the van weren't bad, nearly every shot dropping another zombie, but there were so many zombies that their efforts barely made a dent in the crowd.

"We good?" They had to do this right, the slightest slip-up would mean death or worse.

Ivan grinned, wielding his pipe in one hand and a sturdy metal bat in the other. Raivis nodded, visibly nervous as he rubbed his fingers down the muzzle of his handgun, but Toris reassured him with a gentle touch and a small smile.

Receiving a shaky smile in return, Toris nodded. "Alright, Ivan, draw them away."

"Da." Ivan made his way outside, moving slowly and silently to a small alley between buildings. The back was bricked off, making it very defensible, with a side door into the store for the retreat.

After Ivan had disappeared into the alley – checking for threats to his back and escape route, no doubt – Toris and Raivis waited, watching as the zombies swarmed.

"Come on, Ivan," Toris whispered. "You know what to do..."

And then, just as Toris was beginning to get worried, Ivan was back out, clanging his pipe against a metal light post just outside the alley. Now if the people in the van would just be quiet long enough for the zombies to be distracted, they could make this work.

Luckily, they seemed to realize what Ivan was doing, staying quiet and holding their fire, though another two heads were popping up out of the sunroof to see what was going on. Six people. Toris tried not to think about what that could do to their already limited supplies if they decided to stick around, bouncing his staff lightly in an attempt to prepare himself.

"Alright," Toris straightened, looking to Raivis as the horde seemed to have cleared from the van. "You ready?"

"Mm-hm." Raivis nodded.

"Let's go then." Keeping close to the buildings, Toris and Raivis made their way down to the van, careful not to make a sound. The zombies were rather dull, drawn by loud noises and fast movements, but they didn't seem to have any sense of each other, so long as you didn't go running and screaming down the middle of the street all you had to do was hope that too many didn't get close enough to scent you. One or two was fine if you had a weapon, Toris demonstrated as he bashed in the heads of two zombies that came too close with a quick movement. More than that, and you might need help.

There were still a few zombies pawing at the van, the scent of human flesh enough for them to ignore the rattle of noise down the street. Toris attacked the ones closest to him, forcing down his nausea at the scent of rotting flesh. He downed all but the last one, as a bullet to the brain stopped it.

Eduard was probably smirking up there – Toris made a mental note to challenge him to a hand-to-hand fight later as he met the driver's blue-eyed gaze. "Awesome!" It was just mouthed, but the clear admiration in his wide eyes was enough to make Toris blush.

Trying to hide his embarrassment, Toris waved for the people to exit the van, wincing as the sliding door squeaked in protest. "Go with Raivis," Toris whispered, pointing him out, "be quiet and he'll get you out of here."

The loud clanging finally stopped, not too worrisome as it was likely a result of Ivan slipping away, but it also meant that the zombies would be more sensitive to the sounds from the van.

Two of the passengers, the driver's twin (in image, and very likely blood) and a very pale, very fidgety redhead, were injured, the first with an ugly twisted ankle and the second looking like he'd survived having a giant toothpick stuck through his hip.

The twin waved Toris and the driver off, carefully jumping out of the van with a shotgun cradled in his arms and another slung over his back. The only sign of his injury was in the stiffness of his gait and the tightness of his expression as he and the driver seemed to have a silent argument consisting of little more than raising eyebrows and waving hands before the driver lifted the redhead from the van bridal style with a pout on his face.

The operation was actually going to plan. The people in the van had all been removed and were in the process of being led down the street into the small restaurant connecting to the hotel – it was on the other side of the building from the van, but one of the few things Feliks and Eduard agreed on was that leading strangers directly into their sanctuary was a Bad Thing – and Toris could almost believe it was going to work perfectly.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, the twin's ankle gave out. He managed to catch himself, but his gun fell to the ground with a clatter that seemed far louder than it was in the silence.

"Mattie!"

And the shouting really didn't help much either.

Three zombies turning in their direction fell in a matter of seconds – the signal to hurry up and get out of there before Eduard couldn't do anything to help them – and Toris waved the group on faster, setting himself between them and the mass of zombies with his staff at the ready after making sure that Raivis was able to take care of the zombies coming from other directions. Stealth was no longer a viable option – Toris would have laughed if he'd had the attention to spare as he heard Raivis ordering the strangers to "shoot them already, unless you want to be eaten".

By the time the group made it to the restaurant, the zombies were practically on top of them, and it was all Toris could do to hold them off.

"Toris!" Ravis was shouting for him to come in, but the zombies were too close and too many.

"Close it!" Toris shouted back, flinching back as he sent zombie brains flying through the air. "Don't let them in!"

"Toris does not want to be a zombie, no?" Ivan had the strangest sense of humor sometimes, chuckling to himself as he bashed his way through the horde to where Toris was holding them back. Toris didn't waste his breath responding, grateful for the help as he and Ivan cleared away enough zombies to make a break for the entrance.

Raivis slammed the door shut behind them, grimacing as a twitching, rotting hand was caught inside, but not hesitating to pull down the heavy barricade they had put in place for just such an occasion.

Panting and exhausted, Toris collapsed in a chair, tossing the radio to Raivis and grabbing a dusty tablecloth to wipe the slime from his staff as he eyed the strangers carefully. They didn't seem dangerous – none of them looked older than Toris, and the youngest was a boy who was probably ten or eleven – but they knew their way around guns, at least enough that the only ones not carrying guns were the redhead and the kid.

Certainly none of them looked too traumatized from their near-death experience – the driver was looking from Toris to Ivan while the twin and an older girl checked the redhead's bandages, the kid was bouncing and watching Ivan warily, while a younger girl knelt on the floor to check her guns under the watchful eye of an angry-looking young man. (The last two seemed to have what amounted to a full gun shop between them, which was more than a little unnerving though not necessarily surprising.)

A burst of static echoed in the room, startling everyone, but mostly Raivis who dropped the radio when he jumped – his conversation with Eduard interrupted by Feliks' angry shouting.

"Toris! Toris! Like, what do you think you were doing? Going off into a fight without telling me? That is totally uncool-"

Feliks' scolding was cut off – Raivis had grabbed it and turned the volume off, blushing as he realized that everyone was looking at him. "Sorry."

"Ed knows we got in safely?" Toris asked, mostly to save Raivis' nerves and break the awkward silence.

"Mm-hmm."

"Good!" Ivan drew attention to himself by clanging his weapons together sharply. "Now, you-" he looked pointedly at the strangers "-can introduce yourselves, yes?"

"I'm Al," the driver volunteered enthusiastically before waving his hands to point as he named the others. "That's Mattie, Liz, and Feli," the redhead gave a weak smile and wave, "Pete," the kid scowled at Al, " Lils, and Vash. Thanks for the rescue, guys! You seriously saved our butts out there."

"Yes," Ivan agreed, grinning like a shark. "We did, didn't we?"

This is why I don't normally write action. Also why I'm probably not going to write more.