I took a deep breath, and smiled as I walked into Ponyville for the first time. I glanced over at my friend, Munchies, to see that he had the same blank, glazed over expression that he always did.
Today, he had his green hair styled into a pot leaf, to match his cutie mark, and he was wearing a black tank top that said, Love Hugs and Drugs, on it in green lettering.
As for me, my sandy brown hair was gelled and slicked back, and I was wearing a dark brown leather jacket over a white-t-shirt.
"Ayyyy, check this place out!" I told my friend, nudging him. He grunted and looked around.
"Totally radical dude."
"It is pretty cool that we're in the same town as THE Princess Twilight Sparkle!" my other friend, Fanboy exclaimed.
He was wearing a purple t-shirt with a picture of Twilight Sparkle on it, and his hair was styled into the shape of a book.
"Just try not to scare her off if you see her, we don't want her to kick us out of town!" said Trick-or-Treat, another friend of mine. Like he always was, Trick-or-Treat was dressed up in a Halloween costume, this time, he was the grim reaper.
"Twilight won't do that, she's the princess of friendship, remember?" I reminded him.
"Oh yea."
"Hey guys look! There's a bakery!" Fat Tits exclaimed, jumping in excitement, causing the whole ground to shake. Fat Tits was extremely fat, and today he was wearing a clown outfit, and he had his blond hair styled into an afro.
"Can we go in? Pleaseeeeeeeeee!" he begged, sinking to the ground and clasping his hooves together.
My other friends and I all looked at each other, and Munchies said,
"I don't see why not, I am feeling a little hungry."
"Yea! Pinkie Pie might be in there!" Fanboy exclaimed, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a pennant with a picture of Pinkie Pie on it.
So we sallyforthed towards the bakery, and when I stepped in, I was automatically hit with the smell of chocolate chip cookies.
"Mmm, that smells delicious!" Fat Tits gushed.
"Yea!" we all agreed.
Then, a Pink pony with pink curly hair came bouncing towards us. Behind me, I heard Fan Boy let out a squeal.
"Hey, you guys look new here, I'm Pinkie Pie!" the pink pony exclaimed in a happy voice.
Fan Boy let out a scream, and I heard a loud thud.
"Uh, is your friend alright?"
Pinkie Pie leaned over the counter, and stared at the ground.
"Yea, yea, this happens all the time," I said. Honestly, I was surprised that Fan Boy didn't have brain damage from how many times he had fallen and hit his okay.
"Okey dokey then, how can I help you guys?" Pinkie Pie smiled.
"I want to by the loot!" Fat Tits exclaimed, pulling out all the bits he had in his pocket, and slapping them down on the counter.
"Hmm, seven bits, that will get you five cookies and a muffin, is that alright?" Pinkie Pie said as she counted the money.
"Okay," Fat Tits shrugged.
"Be right back!"
Pinkie Pie bounced out of the room.
"Wow, I can't believe we were just in the presence of one of the mane six," Bats and Balls said in a hushed tone. He had on his baseball uniform, and he was wearing a baseball cap over his red hair.
"Wow, you're beginning to sound like Fan Boy," I chuckled.
"I'm baaaack!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing into the room with two, small white sacks in her mouth.
"Oh boy!" Fat Tits exclaimed, quickly grabbing his goodies, and shoving them all into his mouth at once, the sacks and all.
"You know, you could have shared," Trick-or-Treat said in a cold voice.
"Um excuse me, but I paid for this with my own bits! If you want to get sweets, then GET A JOB!"
"Come on guys, let's not start a fight in these nice ponies' bakery," I said with a nervous chuckle, throwing an apologetic glance at Pinkie Pie, as I led my friends out of the building.
"Where to now?" Bats and Balls asked.
"We could go to the botique and have Rarity make special outfits for us!" Fan Boy exclaimed, he was done being passed out.
"I'm not sure if there is enough material in the world to make an outfit for tubby here," Trick-or-Treat said.
"Hey!" Fat Tits exclaimed furrowing his brows, "What about the outfit I have on now?"
"I'm sure they had to get some material from space!"
"Seriously guys?" I groaned, shaking my head. We had only been in Ponyville for like five, maybe ten minutes, and already Fat Tits and Trick-or-Treat were at each other's throats.
"Happy Days is right, we all agreed when we left Coltorado, that we wouldn't be doing our usual bickering," said Bats and Balls.
"Yea," Trick-or-Treat sighed, "You're right."
He and Fat Tits then gave each other a high-five, and we made our way to the botique.
"Oh why hello there darlings, I don't recall seeing you here before," said a white pony with purple hair, as soon as we walked through the door. She then took out a measuring tape, with the magic from her horn, and started to measure us all.
"Yea, we're visting from Coltorado," I said, feeling a bit awkward at being measured.
"Oh, that's fantastic darlings! Oh yes, I already have the PERFECT outfits forming in my mind for you!" she exclaimed.
"Even Fat Tits?" Trick-or-Treat asked. I glared at him.
"Oh yes! I can see it now, he will be the main event in my Hallowhinny fashion show!"
"Ayyyy! That's Trick-or-Treat's favourite Holiday!" I exclaimed.
"That is true, but I don't see why that's relevant," Trick-or-Treat said with a glare.
"Uh heh, can you excuse us for a minute?" I said to Rarity. She lifted a brow, and nodded. I dragged Trick-or-Treat into another room, and whispered harshly in his ear.
"Look Bucko, we're in Ponyville for one purpose and one purpose only."
"Yea, but what does me liking Hallowinny have to do with that?"
"Because! If you and Rarity start dating, then it will make it so much easier for us to gain the trust of the mane six, and then we can carry out our plan," I hissed in a low whisper.
"I don't want to date Rarity though, she's too high class for me!" Trick-or-Treat exclaimed.
I clamped my hoof over his mouth.
"Shh, do you want everyone to hear you?"
He shook his head, and I took my hoof off his mouth.
"Hey, maybe you should try hooking her and Fat Tits up, she seemed pretty interesting in him."
"Hmm," I stroked my chin, "That just might work."