It's worth it. That was the only thing on Novinha's mind as she felt her insides contracting, sending pain from her abdomen to nearly every part of her body. The pain was worth it, as long as the child she carried now was born healthy.
Her husband stood beside her, holding her shuddering hand in his own strong but gentle ones. Never had she been as grateful for his presence as now. She felt a soothing hand on her sweaty brow, and felt herself smile despite the pain she was in. It was a somewhat strained smile, yes, containing not only happiness but also a bit of guilt.
Three men, she thought to herself, barely hearing the nurse telling her to push. I have been in bed with three men, and now I have had children with two.
The thought made her think of her children, the ones already born, and the one she had lost. She would have seven children in her home now, the same as before Miro had left.
She had heard the whispers, accusations of her wanting to replace her eldest son with a new child. It wasn't the case, and it never would be. Not one of her children, her seven with Libo or any she would have with Andrew, could replace the other. Loosing one made her feel somewhat empty, and no one could truly fill the gap. This child would never take Miro's place in her heart, but he would not be resented. He would be cherished like all her children were, even if they didn't always realize it. Cherished not only by his parents, but by his brothers and sisters. They had all been ecstatic when Novinha informed them of her pregnancy, especially Quara, Olhado, and Grego, the three who seemed to be the most connected to Andrew. Even Miro would be happy for them; Andrew had sent him a message via the jewel in his ear about the pregnancy, and would send another once the child was born.
The second message would be sent very soon, she knew. An hour at most, but likely much less. The labor had been progressing quickly to this point, almost in a way to being some comfort from the pain.
And sure enough, less than twenty minutes later, the nurse broke the silence by announcing the arrival of her eighth child, her fifth son, their first son.
There's something wrong, Novinha thought, though she wanted her instincts to be wrong. Why had the nurse announced the child's arrival, instead of the newborn himself? Why did the nurse's voice hold grief instead of happiness for the mother and father?
She wanted her fears to be unwarranted, for the child to be alive and well. She looked to Andrew, hoping to see a sign from him that everything was alright, that their son was safe.
Instead she turned her head to see him weeping, silently, but with tears going down his eyes as he watched the nurse cocoon the tiny body in a thin blanket.
She handed it, handed him, to Novinha, asking if she'd like her elder children in the room. Novinha nodded, but her mind wasn't truly on what the old woman had said. She kept her eyes on her newly born, and already lost, son, swaying back and forth slightly as she hummed a lullaby known to all her children. She didn't even notice as the nurse herded her children in, not until Ela spoke.
"Mother?" the young woman's voice shook slightly, evidence that she had been weeping herself.
So, the nurse had told them, not even giving Novinha and Andrew a chance to share the devastating news themselves. Perhaps it was for the best, as she would likely be unable to tell them without shedding tears of her own. She didn't even want to look at their faces now, and see the sadness in their eyes. They had all experienced death before, with the losses of Marcos and Libo, so there would be no confusion over why the new baby was silent and motionless. She looked at each of them in turn, and they gazed back at her.
Moments passed and in those moments, nobody moved or spoke.
Then, without a sign or warning, the children approached their mother and stepfather. The boys went to Andrew, the girls to Novinha, each offering their same brand of comfort before moving to the next parent.
Finally, Quim touched the top of his new brother's head, mumbling a prayer. He prayed to his grandmother and grandfather, pleading for them to protect the soul of their youngest grandchild.
Once he completed his prayer and lifted his hand from the newborn's head, the Ribeira-Wiggin family stood together, weeping in silence.
Começo Midade Riberia-Wiggin
Novinha and Andrew read the engraving made for their son, the infant whose cradle was also his grave.
They had named him only hours before burying him, and felt their choice fit. Começo meant 'Beginning' and Midade came from the Portuguese word for 'End'. And what a better name for this child, whose conception was the beginning, and whose death was the end of his parent's having children of their own.
Novinha refused to try for another baby, even choosing to have a procedure done that would render her nearly sterile. She couldn't bear to loose another child of hers---she'd already lost Miro nearly three years ago, and now she'd lost little Anjo (a name given by Quara and Ela, who claimed that God would surely make the infant a guardian of the family).
She would never let herself go through this type of pain again.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the original book 'Speaker for the Dead' or any sequels. Andrew "Ender" Wiggin, Novinha Ribeira, Miro Ribeira, Ela Ribeira, Quim Ribeira, Olhado Ribeira, Quara Ribeira, and Grego Ribeira belong to the genius that is Orson Scott Card (read his books). I only claim to own the first and only son of Novinha and Ender---Começo Midade "Anjo" Ribeira-Wiggin.