The views and opinions in this story are not real and do not neccisarily project the real actors feelings
September 2012
Ians POV
I had just come back from my local supermarket after buying Lucy's september edition of cosmopolitan magazine. I got a drink and sat down on my couch and began to read her article.
Although Lucy and I were close she never told me about any of this. To be honest I'm not sure if any of the cast or crew knew. Ashley might know as shes known Luce since she was 16 but im not sure.
Hearing what lucy went through as a teenager broke my heart. I can not imagine her being that upset about her life. Hearing that she went 'days with out food' makes me feel annpyed that i wasnt aware of this. Lucy was probably my closest cast mate and we talked about everything. Sure she told me that she didnt have a very happy upbringing but she never dove into this much detail.
Looking at Lucy now i can see that she is happy and her article even says about how she 'new she had a problem', but i still cant get over the fact that she went through this alone. I wish i was there for her through all of this and then maybe it wouldn't have gotten as bad as this article says it was.
My first instinct is to phone her. Talk to her about it and let her know that im here for her. But then i think about it and realise that everyone she knows is probably doing the same thing and making Lucy feel unconfident.
Something inside of me wonders if she is still doing this to her self. She is so tiny and although she does eat at work its not half as much as the other girls on set each. She probably eats less in a week than keegan does in a day.
Should i phone her and ask? or do i leave it till the morning?
Lucy's POV
I knew i had to talk about this somehow and when i got the oppertunity to do this interview i thought it was the right time. I love all my fans and i want to let them know that even if you do go through some hard times, you can overcome them and go on to having a bright and happy future.
My phone has been ringing non stop for the past few hours, messages from old friends, some relatives and my cast mates all asking me if i was okay.
The truth was i wasn't.
After starting to date chris i felt isolated from the world. He always wanted to be around me, which was good at first but he eventually became to over protective and i hated it, He had to know everything, where i had been, who it was with and why i went.
It got annoying and in the last few months my feelings for him were becoming weaker and weaker. It started getting bad about 2 months ago, i would eat but then i would go to the gym afterwards or even occasionally i made myself sick. I had lost all my confidence and i hated myself.
I know i shouldnt get in to this vicious cycle again, but i feel so awful about myself. If i had someone to talk to i think it would be better but chris wont let me.
Ashley, claire and my parents are the only people that know a lot about my situation. I would quite happily talk to ash about it but she will hate me for it and want me to get help. But the truth is i dont think im strong enough for all that yet. In my interview i spoke about how i accepted i had a problem and i delt with it but this time feels different. The interview makes it seem like im all happy and fine but im not.
I go to set every day with a smile on my face, trying to hide the fact that im unhappy.
If only i could talk to Ian he would understand, but im scared chris will find out and get angry, i dont want to get hurt. Physically or mentally.
Im scared.
Ian's POV
The next morning i text lucy asking if she wanted a lift to work.
'yes please shmian' was her reply
On the way to her house i thought about what i was going to say.
'Are you okay' too general i though
'Why didnt you tell me?' Harsh
'Im here for you' to strange
I could not find the right thing to say, my mind was racing and i was almost there. Should i wait and see if she says anything? ahhh, what should i do?
I pulled up to her apartment complex still not knowing what i was going to say. As i parked the car i saw a small brunette haired figure walking to my car. Lucy? damn, does she always look that hot?
'Morning Goose' I said when she was getting into my car
'Morning shmian' she replied leaning over to give me a kiss on the cheek
'You ready?' I asked
'Sure am' was her reply
The drive to set was only 15 minutes but it felt like hours
'Soooo, what did you do yesterday Luce?' i asked, trying to make conversation
'Just spit it out Ian, i know you want to ask me something' she looked at me, i think she already knew what i was going to say but i knew she wouldnt give up until i actually said it
'whydidntyoutellmelucy,iloveyouwithallmyheartandith oughtwewerecloserthanthat, youcantrustmeandiwishyouhadt hecouragetotalktome' i said everything so quickly i couldnt even understand what i said
'What?' was her only reply
'the interview' was my whispered reply
There was silence in the car for a few minutes and i focused back on the driving. That was until i heard some quiet sobs coming from the seat next to me. I pulled over and looked at Lucy.
Her eyes all read and puffy from her tears and the bags under her eyes indicated that she had very little sleep last night.
No words were said and all i could do was pull her in for a hug. We sat there for a few minutes before she began to speak...