Hello readers :D While working on my other spn stories i wanted to give you guys a little hurtSam story. I hope you like it :D Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Sam Pov

All I've got are pills. I hold the pill bottle in one hand and water in the other. I know i have to take every pill or this wont work. Some senior girl in my school tried to kill herself with aspirin and allergy medication, but she didn't take enough of either and ended up with a pumped stomach and a bunch of finger-pointing and whispering. I have to do it right.

Five pills down.

I look up into the shadows of the dark room. I am glad the lights aren't on.

Five more down.

Deep breathes. Then another five. I inspect my water bottle. I don't have much left. Why didn't grab two bottles? Stupid. I sallow more pills with less water and one gets stuck in my throat. I gag a few times and then its down. I look down inside the pill container to count how many groups of five I have to take.

I dump what's left onto my palm. I've got 12 more to go. Three more swallows. I lift the water bottle up to my face. I think I can do it. The first group goes down easy. Five more. My stomach twist. Is it happening already? It can't be; they're capsules. I swallow the last two and marvel that I still have a sip of water left. I finish it and lie back down on the bed.

Drowsily, i reach over and attempt to grab my phone. It first moves farther away from me on the side table, but reaching more I am able to grasp it in my hand. Pressing the phone symbol I select the second name on the call log. Bobby.

"Bobby Singer." After a few rings.

"Bobby..Iss Sam. I need..tell Dean.."

"Sam, what?" Bobby questions, and then laughs. "Sam did Dean buy you beer?"

"Nooo..Listen..Dean..Tell him..he always took care of me..This is good..Better.."

"Sam. What the hell in wrong?" Bobby asks, urgency in his voice.

"That is it..Wait..No. Tell..him I love him..Better..This is better."

"Sam! God dammit! What's going on? Dean is on his way. He wanted to surprise you for-"

The phone slides out of my hand snapping closed when it hits the floor.

I don't feel good.

I feel like I am going to throw up. I can't do that or everything will be ruined. I called Bobby. At least Dean will know.. I can't throw up. Don't puke. I say in my head. I don't.

I close my eyes. I am relaxed. I want this. I imagine the floor suddenly shooting light from underneath me, microscopic particles of happiness releasing and penetrating my skin. Through my clothes, I feel it. I swear I can. A warm sensation tingles up my leg. Are the lights on now? My eyes droop. It's still dark. But, I can feel the happiness. It's real.

I lie perfectly still for a while. The absolute silence is calming.

A sharp prickle starts in my fingertips and pulses with each heartbeat. I opened and close my hand a few times, then rub the smooth, soft blanket beneath me. I can't feel anything. My hands are numb. I slowly lick my lips. Or do I? I can't tell.

I use everything I have left to reach my hand up and feel my neck. I forgot his amulet. I want it around my neck. He let me hold on to it. And now its gone.

Shit. I don't feel good. I have no sense of time. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to pry my eyelids open. They form slits, but refuse to stay that way. I give in and just close them. I fish for my backpack,pulling it to my side. It's still unzipped. I fumble around. Where is it? How could I have forgotten to take out Dean's amulet. Stupid. I can't find it. My stomach really hurts. I can't puke. I lie back down, eyes failing me.

Suddenly, the hotel door burst open.

"Happy Birthday Sa-"

Dean? Can't be. He's with Bobby. I just talked to him.

"SAMMY!"

I love my brother.

I try to remember his smell. I can't do it. My eyes won't open. I love my brother. I love you, Dean.

My brother smells like lea...

A/N Please review