Beginning Goes Downhill
This is a story that should definitely not be told. In fact, even when you've encountered the most deadly things, they are nothing in the competition of this story. Like if you sky dived and the rope snapped, you could tragically die, or if you went to the dentist and the dentist was a phony pulled from the street and had very sharp tools, you'd try to escape away, fearful of the sharp instrument.
Three children whom you would call the Baudelaire's, were very fortunate at this time. The oldest child, a fourteen year old girl named Violet, was the best inventor in the world of her age. She was inspired by her father and soon enough in this tragic tale; her inventing skills will be needed. Klaus, the middle Baudelaire, was a researcher. He read more books than any other twelve year old in the world. His mother encouraged him when she began reading him non- fictional books at all hours of the day, and soon enough, his researching skills would come in handy. And the last and youngest Baudelaire, Sunny, had a stranger hobby than inventing and researching. She loved to bite things. And not just anything, but hard objects and food, such as firewood, canned soup, and carrots. Later, she would need to use her teeth for something, something dangerous. And this story is not yet starting. It all began on a foggy day of Briny Beach when Sunny said something very baby like, like" Goortfasy," which meant, "What is that mysterious figure coming from the fog?"
Violet and Klaus looked up and saw this hideous, ugly, disgusting person approaching them, and didn't recognize him, but his stereo-type was common. He had a little eye-glass drooping from his ears and his suit had suede elbow-pads and he had a white handkerchief in his frontal pocket. He had a large black hat with a wide brim. "Hello! How ya'll doing? Dandy, eh? A great day out here, aye!" Although the Baudelaire's did not know this strange hillbilly, but sophisticated looking-man, they're sure he knew them. And, he was lying, too. It wasn't a "dandy" day at Briny Beach. Or probably anywhere else the Baudelaire children liked, like some old radio station place, a mental hospital, or the public swimming pool, because it was as if the weather there was contagious.
"The Gods are angry." Violet whispered, remembering a movie called "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief," which was a major film with hot, sexy, Percy Jackson, and that weird legged freak who loves the "ladies." She recited that line because in that interesting movie, black and gray, puffy clouds pollute the central coast's atmosphere and Percy Jackson's manly crush said that to him. Anyways, Klaus nodded a little and Sunny eyed them, thinking they were crazy, and that instead of the mental hospital being a secret hiding place, they should be attending it.
"Well, kids, won't you say "hi" to your favorite banker?! Come on! Firstly, I must tell you some bad news. The first piece of bad news is that I got kicked off that dandy TV show called "Family Feud" because I didn't bring my family! What a load of crapees is that!" The Baudelaires sighed in frustration and waited for the annoying man to continue with the information.
"The other terrible, terrible news is that your parents have perished in a tragic fire."
The Baudelaires looked at one another to break the awkward silence, and Klaus spoke up. "You're for serious?! This is outrageous! How did they die? In a fire?! They hate fires! How could this be? What started the fire? Were they murdered? Speak up, Mr.!" He went into frenzy, like if he was Joe Jonas when someone like "Gucci" said his fashion style was terrible.
"Come into the dune buggy, and I'll explain everything on the way."
The Baudelaires reluctantly got into the car, and felt as if the ice berg was splitting, a volcano erupting suddenly onto them and their glazed home, the puzzle of their life being torn apart after the fun and frustration of putting it together, the unfortunate events in their future were coming much, much closer.