Disclaimer: Gundam Wing sadly and unfortunately is not mine. Therefore, I urge you not to sue.
Okay there is some MINOR Duo bashing in this fic. This is not because I hate Duo…actually he is one of my favorite characters. But worry not Duo fans…Duo gets the last laugh…sort of.
It looked like a reunion. Heero, Relena, Hilde, Trowa, Catherine, Quatre, Dorothy, Wufei and Sally were assembled around the long dining room table at Relena's mansion.
"Heero…why did you ask us here?" Quatre asked.
"Have you noticed that Duo has been talking a lot?"
"You mean more than usual?"
"Yes."
"Well…yes."
"I think it is a problem…a problem that needs addressing."
Wufei narrowed his eyes. "I agree. He has been spreading rumors right and left…most of which aren't even true!"
"Like the one about you humping a goat?" Hilde asked.
Wufei glared daggers at her.
"I think we all get the point." Heero said.
"Well at least yours was ridiculous enough not to be believable. Mine was a nightmare. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell people "no I do NOT make out with lions in my spare time". Trowa said.
"That was believable?" Relena asked.
"You have no idea what the public will believe."
"Alright! Enough sob stories! We must come up with a way to stop this!" Heero said.
"So basically what we're doing here is coming up with a way to shut up Duo?" Quatre asked.
"No shit Sherlock." Heero said.
Quatre blushed and looked down.
"We must find someway to stop this." Wufei agreed.
"My thoughts exactly…but what should we do?"
"We could spread rumors about him to make him see how it feels." Dorothy suggested.
"No. Duo's too thick to realize he wasn't doing the things we could spread rumors about him doing." Heero said.
"What if we tie him to a pole whip him and keep screaming "BAD BOY!! BAD BOY!!!" Trowa said.
Silence. "Just a suggestion." Trowa mumbled.
"Are there any good suggestions?" Heero asked.
"I have one. We should beat him up and say if he spreads any more rumors…we'll rip out his throat." Wufei said.
"Too messy." Heero said.
"Well do you have a suggestion Mister Smarty Pants?" Trowa said.
"As a matter of fact I do."
"Well let's hear it."
"We should slit his throat."
"That's murder!" Relena said.
"So? It would shut him up!"
"True…" Wufei said.
"I can't believe you're even considering this! There is a much more effective way to solve this problem!" Relena said.
"Okay…what should we do?" Heero said.
Relena gave a cruel grin that was so unlike her. "Well we tell him if he spreads any more rumors we'll cut off his braid. And if he fails to get the point…well after a rumor…snip snip." Relena said motioning her fingers to look like scissors.
"Hmmm…good idea…let us implement that plan ASAP." Heero said.
The Gundam pilots and company all nodded in unison. Just then they heard the front door open. Duo himself walked in carrying a big bag.
"Hello Duo." Heero said cruelly.
Duo smiled and pulled out a huge index card and showed them it. It said: Hey guys sorry I'm late. I needed to write these out.
"Duo what are you doing?"
Duo showed another index card. It said: Quatre called me at the last minute and I needed to buy these.
Heero glared at Quatre. "I specifically told you not to invite him." He mouthed.
Quatre mouthed. "I'm sorry…I forgot.
Duo smiled as he watched Heero. Heero sighed impatiently. "Why are you holding up index cards?"
"I can't talk."
"Why?"
"I have laryngitis."
Poor pilots. Wasted all that time. :-D.
Okay there is some MINOR Duo bashing in this fic. This is not because I hate Duo…actually he is one of my favorite characters. But worry not Duo fans…Duo gets the last laugh…sort of.
It looked like a reunion. Heero, Relena, Hilde, Trowa, Catherine, Quatre, Dorothy, Wufei and Sally were assembled around the long dining room table at Relena's mansion.
"Heero…why did you ask us here?" Quatre asked.
"Have you noticed that Duo has been talking a lot?"
"You mean more than usual?"
"Yes."
"Well…yes."
"I think it is a problem…a problem that needs addressing."
Wufei narrowed his eyes. "I agree. He has been spreading rumors right and left…most of which aren't even true!"
"Like the one about you humping a goat?" Hilde asked.
Wufei glared daggers at her.
"I think we all get the point." Heero said.
"Well at least yours was ridiculous enough not to be believable. Mine was a nightmare. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell people "no I do NOT make out with lions in my spare time". Trowa said.
"That was believable?" Relena asked.
"You have no idea what the public will believe."
"Alright! Enough sob stories! We must come up with a way to stop this!" Heero said.
"So basically what we're doing here is coming up with a way to shut up Duo?" Quatre asked.
"No shit Sherlock." Heero said.
Quatre blushed and looked down.
"We must find someway to stop this." Wufei agreed.
"My thoughts exactly…but what should we do?"
"We could spread rumors about him to make him see how it feels." Dorothy suggested.
"No. Duo's too thick to realize he wasn't doing the things we could spread rumors about him doing." Heero said.
"What if we tie him to a pole whip him and keep screaming "BAD BOY!! BAD BOY!!!" Trowa said.
Silence. "Just a suggestion." Trowa mumbled.
"Are there any good suggestions?" Heero asked.
"I have one. We should beat him up and say if he spreads any more rumors…we'll rip out his throat." Wufei said.
"Too messy." Heero said.
"Well do you have a suggestion Mister Smarty Pants?" Trowa said.
"As a matter of fact I do."
"Well let's hear it."
"We should slit his throat."
"That's murder!" Relena said.
"So? It would shut him up!"
"True…" Wufei said.
"I can't believe you're even considering this! There is a much more effective way to solve this problem!" Relena said.
"Okay…what should we do?" Heero said.
Relena gave a cruel grin that was so unlike her. "Well we tell him if he spreads any more rumors we'll cut off his braid. And if he fails to get the point…well after a rumor…snip snip." Relena said motioning her fingers to look like scissors.
"Hmmm…good idea…let us implement that plan ASAP." Heero said.
The Gundam pilots and company all nodded in unison. Just then they heard the front door open. Duo himself walked in carrying a big bag.
"Hello Duo." Heero said cruelly.
Duo smiled and pulled out a huge index card and showed them it. It said: Hey guys sorry I'm late. I needed to write these out.
"Duo what are you doing?"
Duo showed another index card. It said: Quatre called me at the last minute and I needed to buy these.
Heero glared at Quatre. "I specifically told you not to invite him." He mouthed.
Quatre mouthed. "I'm sorry…I forgot.
Duo smiled as he watched Heero. Heero sighed impatiently. "Why are you holding up index cards?"
"I can't talk."
"Why?"
"I have laryngitis."
Poor pilots. Wasted all that time. :-D.