The Insane Fam Tree

by DietcokeAnnika

This the result of three girls us , high on coke, are having a sleepover, who draw out a family tree. You'll never believe WHO marries WHO and WHO has kids with WHO! Read and find out!

A/N: Ok we know this is sick wrong and pedophilic but we were really high and we had a good laugh over this so hopefully you guys will too.

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter or American Idol or Hunderwatsser

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Ok, so this all happens in Albus and Rose's 7th year.

There is going to be a second triwizard tournament. Albus is the Hogwarts champion, Scorpius is the Beauxbatons champion (I know he goes to Hogwarts but lets pretend for the sake of this thing.) And the Dumstrang champion is Victor Krum and Gabrielle Delacour's (he marries her) son. His name is Hunter vat Ser Diego Santiago Carlos Krum (as you read that say it an extreme Spanish accent.)

So, both Scorpius and Hunter vat Ser Diego Santiago Carlos like Rose, but she ends up with Scorpius.

Rose and Scorpius have three daughters: Medusa Aphrodite Malfoy, Djamiliya Taylor Malfoy and Jada Isabelle Malfoy. Later on in her life, Medusa marries an old, ugly squib called Argus Filch. They have no children because Argus has an affair with his cat (who is an animagus)

Lily Luna Potter, marries Luna's son Lysander. They have three sons, Elijah Garett Scammander, GriffHuff RavenSlyth Scammander (yes, you heard right, GryffHuff RavenSlyth), and Salamander Scammander.

Meanwhile, Hunter vat Ser Diego Santiago is furious and dejected because he couldn't marry Rose. He ends up marrying Rose's daughter Jada Isabelle. They have two sons, 'Quaffle Adam Lambert Krum' and 'Bludger Kris Allen Krum' and a daughter, 'Snitch Goldenling Mercedes Krum'

Hugo Weasley marries Neville's daughter Cecelia Longbottom. They have one son, Chuck Blair Serena Nate Longbottom. (yes, Cecelia is a huge Gossip Girl fan)

So you must be wondering, what on earth happened to Albus?

Well, when Albus wasn't feeling any attraction towards the girls Rose was setting him up with, he admitted he was gay. He ended up marrying a muggle singer called Billy Ray Cyrus. They adopted two daughters and a son. Their names were 'Destiny Hope Cyrus', 'Jackson Bucky Kentucky Cyrus' and 'Hannah Montana Cyrus'. Their children, thankfully, were not gay and Jackson went on to marry Hunter's daughter 'Snitch Goldenling Mercedes Krum'.

They had five children, 'Simon Cowell Cyrus', 'Paula Dance Like Theres No Tomorrow Cyrus' 'Randy Yo Dawg Cyrus', 'Ryan Orange Seacrest Cyrus' and 'Kara Ishbel Dioguardi Cyrus.'

James died a bachelor, and everybody else lived happily ever after…except perhaps Medusa since her husband was in love with a cat…

~The End~