Technology, Entertainment, and Design (TED) Talk
Speaker: Peter Weyland (1990 - 2091)
Founder, Weyland Industries
Wembley Stadium, London, England
(Simulcast to other venues)
28 February 2023

I am a law only for my kind, I am no law for all.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

TED talks typically featured well-known persons from many fields of endeavour, requiring fairly large venues. But even those were not enough to contain the persona of autodidactic inventor and entrepreneur Peter Weyland. Having won two Nobel Prizes for his work in stopping global warming and curing cancer, along with achieving knighthood at the age of 26, he needed someplace even bigger. More theatrical, befitting his three year "disappearance" from the public.

Something like the Colosseum.

Unlike his predecessors from 2000 years ago, Weyland did not prostrate himself before an imaginary superbeing. In a sense, he had already become one by solving two of the world's most vexing problems. As he heard the loud murmurs of the crowd rumbling in anticipation of his appearance, Weyland wanted to make the audience both gasp in shock and feel inspired (for want of a better word) by proclaiming this status. He would say unto them: We are the gods now. And Weyland, by virtue of his works and wealth, was the supreme god.

Unlike the aforementioned predecessors, Weyland knew that he could control any crowd just by his presence. He knew that his works were not just good for the world he inhabited, but for the business he started, and consequently for Weyland himself. He had secured the position of Uebermensch. The overman. At least as he interpreted what he had read of Nietzsche. He had both the social and economic capital to say whatever he felt. Weyland could make grand, romantic proclamations that would have sounded suitable a century before. The previous few generations had too much self-doubt to dream big, hobbled by the political correctness that had become trendy around the time Weyland was born. But, as it rose to primacy, his generation would be different. So would the generations that followed. He would see to that.

Even though he looked at least a decade older than his 32 years, Weyland felt invigourated by the pursuit of his new vision, as well as his resolve to bring humanity into a new age. One where the dreams of 60 years ago, before the rise of bean counters and lazy golden parachuters, would become a reality. This would all happen before the end of the century, which he was determined to see to its end. A high protein diet, 20 essential supplements (ranging from Vitamin C to CoQ10), weekly massages, and a daily dose of scotch before high-intensity events would take him there.

Just before leaving his hotel suite, Weyland sought additional inspiration from another element he considered crucial to a long and vital life. He blasted the opening of Richard Strauss' Ein Heldenleben (A Hero's Life) from its speaker system. His request was for a specific version: Herbert von Karajan, Berlin Philharmonic, Deutsche Grammophon, 1985. "Almost 40 years old, and still the best damned version ever," Weyland growled to his handlers towards the end of the movement, as the piece's nameless hero hurled musical challenges to his critics. "The critics didn't like Karajan, and you know why? Because he was better than all of them. He brought out music's beauty, and they wanted mundanity. Ugliness. Said he forced compact discs on consumers. But if he didn't push for digital recording technology, we wouldn't be hearing this. As crisp and clear today as when it was made!"

Not knowing what Weyland's proclamation meant, one handler looked at the other with confusion. Almost simultaneously, they thought something like, But he hasn't had his scotch yet.

As Weyland prepared to step into the arena, its favourable din complemented his fresh memories of the recorded musical virtuosity of the Berlin Philharmonic. For a final touch, Weyland adjusted his necktie, downed a final scotch, cleared his throat, and cracked his neck. He also muttered his favourite quote by Nietzsche, a well-concealed secret from the many who associated Weyland with benevolence.

I am a law only for my kind, I am no law for all.

This time, the sheep would not inhabit the arena. The shepherd would stride into it, and he would make them roar like lions.

[ To listen to the piece Weyland played, visit YouTube and type the following: Ein Heldenleben-Karajan 1/4 ]