Janet looked down through the observation window at her patient below. She was still poring over the medical reports that the Tok'ra had supplied. The intricacies involved in removing a symbiote from a host and keeping the host alive was mind-boggling.
The woman before her was most definitely alive, and in impeccable health - physically. The psychological aspects of the hostage situation that the woman had endured for the past few years were still far too deep to tell the full impact.
Sarah was a perfect candidate for post-traumatc stress disorder if Janet had ever known one. She hadn't been prepared for this, she hadn't even been aware of the Goa'uld's existence before she became possessed by one. She'd been an archeologist, she'd been a scientist that studied and uncovered the mysteries of the past. She'd never even imagined that she would be drawn into the act of history in the making and the possible destruction of her own planet.
Curled up on the bed, her legs tucked in close to her chest, Janet was amazed by the complete change that had taken place in Sarah's demeanor. As Osiris she had been strong, confident, sexy and vicious. Now she appeared frail, emotional, and meek. Janet hadn't known Sarah before this had happened, she'd only met the woman briefly after she'd become a host, but she was sure that this wasn't how the woman had been prior to her 'possession'.
Janet sat at her desk, noticing the nervous looks and hesitant behavior of the patient on the other side of the infirmary. Sarah had made progress since she had been released from the hold Osiris had over her. She had stopped sleeping in the feotal position, the nightmares had calmed down, no longer coming constantly; instead she would be haunted by them once a night. On a few rare occassions she had slept straight through the night without interruption.
Sarah was no longer recoiling from every touch. She obviously didn't enjoy personal contact with others, she would almost never initialize it, but she didn't pull away from it. Seeing her walk back into the infirmary wasn't an unfamiliar sight anymore. When she'd first come to the SGC, the infirmary had practically been her home. Even now, several months later, it was the one place she felt the most comfortable and at ease and she often showed up when she needed a sense of balance. For this reason if no other, her and Janet had formed a friendship that was separate from Janet's typical doctor/patient relationship.
Right now, Janet could tell that Sarah had just had a rather exhausting session with Dr. Mackenzie. Over the years Janet had come to look down on many of Dr. Mackenzie's techniques with the SGC Teams, Sarah didn't seem to be any exception and the look on her face now made Janet curse Elizabeth Weir for being able to talk Kate Heightmeyer into joining the Atlantis Expedition rather than stay on at the SGC.
Sarah slowly made her way across the infirmary and by the time she reached Janet's office a steaming cup of coffee was waiting for her. She took it with a soft smile and sat down.
"Bad session?" Janet wasn't sure why she still felt the need to ask when it was painted so clearly on Sarah's face.
"One of the worst." A shudder passed through her body and Janet watched as Sarah closed her eyes and obviously tried to fight back the revulsion she was feeling. "I don't see the point in having me relive some of these things over and over..."
Janet sighed, honestly she didn't either, but MacKenzie seemed to be under the impression that through reliving the things that 'Osiris' had done, Sarah could find acceptance and then move on. Sam had enough issues dealing with Jolinar, Janet couldn't even begin to imagine what Sarah was going through.
Looking at the files sitting on her desk, most of which were research and tests for her own curiousity and nothing that couldn't wait till the morning, Janet shut down her computer and grabbed her purse. "What do you say we get out of here? You look exhausted, Cassie is away on vacation with a friend from school, and I could use a night of girl talk and pizza."
Sarah's eyes brightened up a bit. "You mean outside of the mountain?"
Janet smiled warmly, "Yes, outside the mountain. I'll clear it with the general and you can crash at my place tonight. This doctor says that the best prescription for you right now, is some fresh air and a step back."
By the time they'd arrived at Janet's house she was re-thinking the whole 'fresh air and stepping back' theory. The pizza parlor and liquor store had been far from packed, but the number of people they had encountered was enough to have Sarah obviously on edge and fidgeting nervously.
Even once the pizza had been set on the counter with plates and beer distributed, Sarah still looked like a caged animal weary of every movement.
Placing a hand gently on Sarah's elbow Janet winced as she watched the woman jump, her slice of pizza falling back to the plate before her. "Maybe this wasn't my best idea..."
Sarah's eyes widened, before she objected. "No! No, it's just... it's all a little much, I guess. I find it hard to remember what Earth is like at times." She took a swig from her beer, swallowing thankfully before continueing. "I've gotten used to the SGC, a bit. The people are at least familiar. Being... outside... was just a bit... crazy. It made me feel too singled out; too different."
Janet's hand moved up and down Sarah's arm in a soothing pattern. "It's a lot to adjust to. You've been through a lot since the last time you were on Earth. Things here have changed a bit, you know so much more than you did, and you've changed because of what you've been through. It will get better. Look how much it already has."
Sarah ran a hand along her face and sighed deeply. "I know I've gotten better. When I first woke up in the infirmary I remember feeling like I still wasn't 'me'. Like I wasn't the one in control. I would lay there staring at the ceiling waiting for 'Osiris' to take over... and it took a while... but I eventually realized that it wasn't going to happen. That he was gone, and I was on my own. And that terrified me more than the thought that he would take over again."
Janet wasn't sure what it was about Sarah's eyes that caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end when the blonde turned to look at her again.
"You reminded him of her, you know." Sarah reached over and pushed a loose lock of hair behind Janet's ear, causing the hairs on her arms to follow in suit. "That's part of the reason he was so rough with you when he realized that you weren't her."
"Isis?" Janet's voice was barely above a whisper and the fact that Sarah was leaning in ever so much closer with each passing second, seeming much more in control and confident since her separation from Osiris.
Sarah nodded, her eyes fixated on Janet's face, moving between Janet's eyes and lips. "The color and shape of your eyes... it's close, but not quite exact... the tone of your skin, the color of your hair... the shape of your lips..."
Janet's mouth was suddenly very dry, her tongue moving along her lips in a near-desperate attempt to furnish them with some much-needed moisture. Her eyes widening as Sarah closed the last of the gap between them, their lips touching in a kiss that started off innocently enough but left Janet yearning for more.
"In a way, it's almost too bad that you weren't host to his Queen." Sarah's eyes were a bit more downcast, a bit more reserved and a step more toward what Janet was used to seeing on her face these last few months. "I think I might have been able to adjust to that dynamic, at least."