This is a reply to Black Beyond's HP challenge
Pairing:
Rubeus Hagrid and Narcissa Malfoy
Lines that must be included:
Oh my God, what are you doing with the peanut butter?!?!
"People just hate that, you know. It's quite rude, with all the blood and candy canes."
"Fishsticks. Of all things, fishsticks?"
"Oh, look. Porn!"
1.) At some point, Harry Potter must be in contact with a giant indigo VW Beatle.
2.) Fudge and Dumbledoor must somehow wind up in Draco's bedroom closet looking at old playboys, missing some article of
clothing.
3.) At the end of the story, Pansy must do a Riverdance with Dobby and Winky, wearing nothing but a tea-cosy and singing
God Save the Queen.
Rating:
PG to PG-13, though I doubt I'll make it PG-13...just in case
Disclaimer: All right everyone, I'm only going to do this once, so listen up. Nothing that even remotely reminds you of any
to do with Harry Potter and related stuff...it ain't mine. I wish it were, but it's not. Second off...I'm making no money
off of this, nor do I wish to. Third off... I'm turning this disclaimer into a dual warning. ***WARNING*** One of my friends
challenged me to do this, and besides the fact that she is totally and completely psychotic, she was sleep deprived. The things in this story may disturb you as they did me, and I'm writing the darn thing. And another thing...I don't curse. If you're expecting that kind of Ficcy..go someplace else. And lastly.. Please do review. It makes me feel all warm inside.
And if you don't, I'll get my completely psychotic, sleep-deprived warped friend to hunt you down and kill you, then place your cold fingers on the keyboard and type the freakin' reveiw for you. Have a nice day.
One Really Odd Couple of Days
It was August the 30, the day before class resumed in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry Potter had been packed for some time now, as usual, ready for the summer to be over. Of course Harry Potter was not a normal boy, neither
in the Muggle world or the Wizarding world, for reasons that everyone should know.
Dudley, his horrid cousin, had been taunting him mercilessly, another thing that usually occured at this household, and Harry had been taking it, knowing that it was the last day before term. His best friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger were coming to pick him up that night in one of Aurthor, Ron's father's company cars. As excited as he was that he was going back to school, he was ten times more excited to see his friends. With the returning of Voldemorte everything had been really depressing, knowing his world may very well change this year for the worse. Knowing his Godfather, Sirius Black may very be caught and killed at any time, and well... on top of that, he had to live with the Muggles.
"When are you going to leave, bean-pole? Why haven't your "friends" come to take you away from us terribly normal decent people yet?" his mocking high falsetto tormented Harry, but all he did was sigh, and go up to his room to look out for their car, expecting a solemn black car like in his third year. What he did see was an absolutely huge indigo VW Beattle working it's way down the uneven road.
Now, Harry just knew this couldn't be them, it couldn't, Petunia and Vernon would through a huge fit (after he left, it was true, but... still, it would be a huge fit) if it were. But, as he watched the large VW turn into number 4 Privit Drive, he raced downstairs, nearly knocking over Dudley in the process with a large trunk and bewildered owl hooting frantically
because she had been rudely awakened from her nap. He torn open the door, disposed of the formalities and hopped into the back of the VW, barely having time to realize it had been magically expanded. He pulled Ron in as he closed the door, narrowly missing his foot.
"Harry! What's going on? Wha-" Ron was rather rudely cut off, seeing Harry was bleeding from his palm. "Harry...you're bleeding." his very astute self made this comment as though he were pointing out the reason why E=MC squared.
"Huh? Just... just drive...If Petunia or Vernon sees this car, they'll have a hemmorage!" Harry said hurridly, looking
at his palm. He noticed a large pointed candy-cane stuck to the top of his trunk, and came to the conclusion that Dudley had been in his room again,
"Ugh...gross..I cut myself on this pointy candy-cane. Nasty! It's where he was licking it!" Harry paled a little and started trying to slow his bleeding.
"People hate that, you know. It's quite rude, with all that blood and candy-canes." said Arthur knowledgably, as if this was something that Muggle people said everyday. Even Harry looked at the back of his chair oddly.
"Huh, dear? What does that mean?" Molly looked over at Arthur with raised eyebrows, obviously as lost as everyone
else in the car.
"So...uh...when do we pick up Hermione? We've got midgit boy, now." Ron said, looking out the window, slightly pink around the ears.
"Oh, yes. Harry...are you alright now? I was going to ask before...but then I got a little confused from the prophet, my husband." she turned in her seat, scowling at Arthur periodically.
"I'm fine, but I'm not sure if your son is. He's been talking non-stop about Hermione lately." he looked over at Ron, who was trying to ignore where the conversation was turning by pretending to enjoy the scenery.
Before they knew it, they were at the Granger's place, and after a half hour of coffee and endless questions from Ron's dad, they headed back to the burrow, Hermione in the middle of Ron and Harry.
A/N: alright...like it? hate it? want me to continue? I think i will even if you hate it, just to see where
it takes me. I know it's short, but in that time...a few extremely odd happening happen. When will Hagrid start dating
Narcissa? When will Dumbledoor and Fudge find themselves in Draco's closet? When will...*cackles evilly* Pansy do her
I'm sure, lovely dance? If you review...tell me when you want these things to happen. You choose my path, and may the force be with you. Wait..that's the wrong polt line isn't it? Oh, well.. Do reveiw. Pretty please? I love you! Peace, love, and
PURPLE NAIL POLISH!!
Pairing:
Rubeus Hagrid and Narcissa Malfoy
Lines that must be included:
Oh my God, what are you doing with the peanut butter?!?!
"People just hate that, you know. It's quite rude, with all the blood and candy canes."
"Fishsticks. Of all things, fishsticks?"
"Oh, look. Porn!"
1.) At some point, Harry Potter must be in contact with a giant indigo VW Beatle.
2.) Fudge and Dumbledoor must somehow wind up in Draco's bedroom closet looking at old playboys, missing some article of
clothing.
3.) At the end of the story, Pansy must do a Riverdance with Dobby and Winky, wearing nothing but a tea-cosy and singing
God Save the Queen.
Rating:
PG to PG-13, though I doubt I'll make it PG-13...just in case
Disclaimer: All right everyone, I'm only going to do this once, so listen up. Nothing that even remotely reminds you of any
to do with Harry Potter and related stuff...it ain't mine. I wish it were, but it's not. Second off...I'm making no money
off of this, nor do I wish to. Third off... I'm turning this disclaimer into a dual warning. ***WARNING*** One of my friends
challenged me to do this, and besides the fact that she is totally and completely psychotic, she was sleep deprived. The things in this story may disturb you as they did me, and I'm writing the darn thing. And another thing...I don't curse. If you're expecting that kind of Ficcy..go someplace else. And lastly.. Please do review. It makes me feel all warm inside.
And if you don't, I'll get my completely psychotic, sleep-deprived warped friend to hunt you down and kill you, then place your cold fingers on the keyboard and type the freakin' reveiw for you. Have a nice day.
One Really Odd Couple of Days
It was August the 30, the day before class resumed in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry Potter had been packed for some time now, as usual, ready for the summer to be over. Of course Harry Potter was not a normal boy, neither
in the Muggle world or the Wizarding world, for reasons that everyone should know.
Dudley, his horrid cousin, had been taunting him mercilessly, another thing that usually occured at this household, and Harry had been taking it, knowing that it was the last day before term. His best friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger were coming to pick him up that night in one of Aurthor, Ron's father's company cars. As excited as he was that he was going back to school, he was ten times more excited to see his friends. With the returning of Voldemorte everything had been really depressing, knowing his world may very well change this year for the worse. Knowing his Godfather, Sirius Black may very be caught and killed at any time, and well... on top of that, he had to live with the Muggles.
"When are you going to leave, bean-pole? Why haven't your "friends" come to take you away from us terribly normal decent people yet?" his mocking high falsetto tormented Harry, but all he did was sigh, and go up to his room to look out for their car, expecting a solemn black car like in his third year. What he did see was an absolutely huge indigo VW Beattle working it's way down the uneven road.
Now, Harry just knew this couldn't be them, it couldn't, Petunia and Vernon would through a huge fit (after he left, it was true, but... still, it would be a huge fit) if it were. But, as he watched the large VW turn into number 4 Privit Drive, he raced downstairs, nearly knocking over Dudley in the process with a large trunk and bewildered owl hooting frantically
because she had been rudely awakened from her nap. He torn open the door, disposed of the formalities and hopped into the back of the VW, barely having time to realize it had been magically expanded. He pulled Ron in as he closed the door, narrowly missing his foot.
"Harry! What's going on? Wha-" Ron was rather rudely cut off, seeing Harry was bleeding from his palm. "Harry...you're bleeding." his very astute self made this comment as though he were pointing out the reason why E=MC squared.
"Huh? Just... just drive...If Petunia or Vernon sees this car, they'll have a hemmorage!" Harry said hurridly, looking
at his palm. He noticed a large pointed candy-cane stuck to the top of his trunk, and came to the conclusion that Dudley had been in his room again,
"Ugh...gross..I cut myself on this pointy candy-cane. Nasty! It's where he was licking it!" Harry paled a little and started trying to slow his bleeding.
"People hate that, you know. It's quite rude, with all that blood and candy-canes." said Arthur knowledgably, as if this was something that Muggle people said everyday. Even Harry looked at the back of his chair oddly.
"Huh, dear? What does that mean?" Molly looked over at Arthur with raised eyebrows, obviously as lost as everyone
else in the car.
"So...uh...when do we pick up Hermione? We've got midgit boy, now." Ron said, looking out the window, slightly pink around the ears.
"Oh, yes. Harry...are you alright now? I was going to ask before...but then I got a little confused from the prophet, my husband." she turned in her seat, scowling at Arthur periodically.
"I'm fine, but I'm not sure if your son is. He's been talking non-stop about Hermione lately." he looked over at Ron, who was trying to ignore where the conversation was turning by pretending to enjoy the scenery.
Before they knew it, they were at the Granger's place, and after a half hour of coffee and endless questions from Ron's dad, they headed back to the burrow, Hermione in the middle of Ron and Harry.
A/N: alright...like it? hate it? want me to continue? I think i will even if you hate it, just to see where
it takes me. I know it's short, but in that time...a few extremely odd happening happen. When will Hagrid start dating
Narcissa? When will Dumbledoor and Fudge find themselves in Draco's closet? When will...*cackles evilly* Pansy do her
I'm sure, lovely dance? If you review...tell me when you want these things to happen. You choose my path, and may the force be with you. Wait..that's the wrong polt line isn't it? Oh, well.. Do reveiw. Pretty please? I love you! Peace, love, and
PURPLE NAIL POLISH!!