A/N: Hi. I thought I would publish this one-shot while I avoid working on the multi-chapter project I have planned for this fandom. I wrote some of this years and years ago when I was a teenager and just edited it a bit. Okay, a lot. I've also never published any of my Harry Potter stuff, so don't be too hard on me, please.
- Dana
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the mentioned characters. If I did, they'd still be alive.
It was already late at night when Remus Lupin stumbled through the thick grass towards a small house right in the middle of nowhere. The cold night air felt like tiny razor blades on his already scarred face, so he pulled his red scarf closer around his neck, burying his chin in it to protect himself from the cold.
A seemingly endless well of shame bubbled deep inside his gut. He was so beyond ashamed for just running away, abandoning her. He had told himself over and over again that he was doing the right thing at the time. That it was what's best for her. Worst of all was that he had actually believed his own words after a while. He had never felt more stupid and ashamed in his entire life.
The house came closer and closer and he stopped so suddenly in his tracks that he almost fell straight into the damp grass. He couldn't make himself go on. Because for the first time since deciding the only option was returning to her, he thought about what she would say. If she would even consider taking him back. If she would be willing to speak to him at all. She had never been one to hold grudges, but this barely compared to anything that could have ever happened to her. If he were in her place…he didn't know what he would do. She had every right to be beyond furious with him for the rest of eternity. And the way that he had left her - he would never forget that conversation – if one could even call it that.
"Where are you going?" she demanded, arms crossed in front of her chest.
"I'm going to check on Harry," he mumbled, not turned around to her as he made his way downstairs.
"And what do you need that bag for then, eh?" She hurried after him, almost tripping over a pair of shoes at the bottom of the narrow staircase. But Remus was already putting on his robes, the bag containing a few of his belongings by his feet.
He took a shaky breath, "Dora, it's-"
"No, don't 'Dora' me right now," she cut him off, anger and hurt evident in her voice. "What's going on with you?"
He straightened his shoulders and grabbed the strap of his bag. For the first time, he actually turned to face her. "I…I'm so sorry."
He found nothing but pain in her dark eyes and it almost destroyed him right there and then.
"Where are you going, Remus?" she whispered eventually, visibly close to tears now.
He swallowed hard and turned to the door. "I'm sorry. But it's safer this way. For the two of you," he added quietly. That seemed to fuel her anger once again.
"Not this again," she sighed exasperatedly and paced around behind him. "For the–"
"Dora," his voice was almost cold now. "I was wrong to let this go on for so long. For letting it happen. You…I'm sorry, but I have to go."
Without glancing back at her, he opened the door and disapparated on the spot, afraid she might follow him.
He'd been such a fool to leave her. He felt like a traitor. His heart sank even further. Her mother would certainly kill him.
But that didn't even matter right now. With all the courage he could muster, he put one foot in front of the other and made his way over to the house. He longed to see her, to wrap his arms around her and tell her he was sorry. He wanted nothing more than to know she was okay. He'd only been gone for about a week and a half but his heart felt like he'd been gone forever. What if he came too late? What if she would say no and throw him out? Well, he would deserve that, wouldn't he?
But he kept going, anyway, eventually reaching the front door. He knew they were still up, he'd seen the lights from afar. His head hanging low, hiding in his scarf once again, he finally knocked lightly on the door and waited. He was almost certain that his heart would leap out of his chest any second now.
"Who is it?" is a female voice called warily from the other side after a few moments. She was clearly not expecting anyone at this late hour.
"It's…it's me, Remus John Lupin," he started in a hoarse voice. "Member of–"
The door had flung open in an instant, revealing a dark-haired woman glaring daggers at him.
"You have a lot of nerve coming back here," she said in a low voice, all previous hospitality forgotten.
He couldn't even bring himself to look her in the eyes.
"Andromeda, I understand-" he started but was cut off.
"No, you don't understand," she said sharply. "Do you know how hard it is to watch her suffer like that, Remus? For the second time, I might add?"
"Please hear me out," he pleaded, finally meeting her eyes for a fleeting moment. "You have every right to send me away again. I will respect that. But I need to talk to her. I want to make this right. And I can promise you I won't hurt her ever again."
She took a long pause and searched for something in his eyes. He hoped she'd see the sincerity in them. At last, she said, "That's not my decision to make. She's upstairs in her old room. But I warn you, Remus, one word from her and you're out of here."
"Thank you," he said gratefully and walked past her into the warmth of the house. Taking one last deep breath, he climbed the stairs and soon found himself just a few meters away from her room. The door was open and he could hear the subtle noises she made as she moved around the room.
He approached the door and took a minute to take in the sight in front of him. Sporting a strange shade of dark blue for her hair, she was wearing an oversized black t-shirt and baggy pants with a purple abstract pattern on them, kneeling on the floor in front of a large bookshelf. She reached up to grab a book from the shelf, inspecting it briefly and then putting it on the floor next to her. A different book took its place on the shelf. He briefly wondered why she didn't use magic to organize her book collection, but then remembered why he was here. It was just so surreal to see her again.
He cleared his throat and softly knocked on the door. Her head instantly whipped around, short hair falling into her eyes, as the book in her hand dropped to the floor. She didn't say anything, just stared at him.
"Dora, I'm so sorry," he eventually managed to say. A range of emotions reflected in her dark eyes. To his surprise, she turned back around to her books and continued to sort through them.
"Heard that one before," is all she said, her voice steady. He certainly didn't expect this reaction and was slowly starting to panic.
"Listen, I understand you're angry with me," he said, ready to give her the speech she deserved. "You have every right to be. But please–"
But she cut him off and turned back around to look at him, "Angry? I'm a lot of things but angry isn't one of them."
With visible effort, she got up from her position on the floor and stood. It was still too early to tell she was pregnant, but Remus couldn't help but imagine the barely visible bump under her shirt. Her intense stare pulled him out of his very ill-timed daydream.
"Okay," she started, as if she were speaking to a child. "Imagine my perspective here for a second, will you? I am standing here in front of you fighting the urge to run into that bathroom and say hello to my dinner once again because my body is still adjusting to caring for two people at once."
His face softened and all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms. But she was clearly not done talking.
"Or maybe I feel sick because just looking at you hurts. It hurts, Remus," she confessed, her voice thick with emotion. "I know I didn't take your rejection well the first time around, but then things changed and...you promised."
She took a deep breath and he could see her composure crumbling. Her voice was an octave higher and more agitated when she spoke next.
"I can deal with a lot of things, Remus, but what I can't deal with is people who vow to stick by my side running off the second they get spooked. People who know I'm carrying their bloody child!"
He watched as she closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again to look at him expectantly. He was supposed to say something.
"I thought I was doing the right thing," is all he could think of. He mentally kicked himself for not having thought this through before he got here.
She actually snorted at this. "You consider leaving me to raise our kid alone the right thing? To let him grow up without a father? And I always told people you were a smart man, Remus."
"I'm so sorry." He hung his head and was about ready for her to tell him to leave again. He had failed.
"D'you wanna know the worst part of all of this?" He looked up at her at this and waited for her to continue. She shook her head and whispered, "I can't shut it off."
He had no idea what that even meant. "What?"
"My feelings for you," she said, seemingly more to herself than to him. "I can't help it. I look at you and the love is bigger than the pain. Still. It's so stupid," her voice cracked and he instinctively took several steps closer. She turned around to go back to her bookshelf but tripped over the carpet. His hand was curled around her arm before she could even blink in surprise.
Mindful of boundaries, he instantly released it. She stood up straighter and stared at him, a tear already rolling down her rosy cheek.
"It's not stupid," he gave her a small smile and held out his arms. "Come here."
They exchanged a long look and he was starting to lose hope, but then she melted into his arms and buried her face in his chest. This wasn't a definite resolution yet, but he was still the happiest man alive at that moment. Just holding her was more than enough for now. But suddenly, she pulled away a bit and a small fist made contact with his chest.
"How could you do this, you git?" He was about to panic again when he noticed there was the ghost of a smile playing on her lips as she wiped at her wet cheeks. It was confusing, but reassuring at the same time.
He took a step back and scratched the back of his head, "I know, I'm just so sorry."
She sighed and pulled him with her to the foot of her bed. They sat together in silence for a few moments. He felt her studying him, but he didn't know what to do or what to say. The whole situation was so surreal and he couldn't believe he was the cause of it.
"You look like you haven't slept in a month," she said matter-of-factly, but he still didn't meet her eyes. "Did you bring some decent clothes? Can't have you sleeping in my bed with those robes."
His head shot up so fast he was sure he almost got whiplash. His emerald eyes bore into hers for a split second.
"You want me to stay?" he whispered, disbelief evident in his voice.
She just shrugged her shoulders in response, the fabric of her shirt slipping down one shoulder. "Yeah, I guess. What choice do I have?"
For the first time, they smiled at each other. He couldn't help but pull her into another hug and cherish this wonderful woman for not sending him away.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair and felt her tighten her arms around his neck in response.
"Stop saying that," she mumbled into the fabric of his robes, "I already know that."
After what felt like an eternity, they pulled apart again. She leaned up to give him a small kiss and Remus was certain he was fast asleep somewhere and was dreaming the entire thing. But her skin felt very real under his touch and in an instant, he vowed to thank Harry for knocking some sense into him at the last second.
When she pulled away, she instantly turned around and crawled into her bed. "Now, I vote you make me some tea now because I'm freezing and I'll promise not to throw up on anything important in the meantime. How does that sound to you?"
Yes, looking at his wife smiling up at him, he was definitely the luckiest and happiest man alive and no war or still-bitter mother-in-law that awaited him in the kitchen could change that.
A/N: I don't know where that super happy ending came from. It's not really what I usually write. Thoughts?