The Useless One: Magikarp's Journey to Find Love...Or at least someone who won't hate him
"I really don't think this will work."
Mew frowned. "Of course it will. Nothing can possibly go wrong." She patted Magikarp on his head and smiled reassuringly. "Here comes a trainer now. It'll go just as planned. Wait and see!"
"What plan?" Magikarp grumbled, but Mew was already gone. He sighed and settled down. This was the third wacky plan this week, and it seemed doomed to fail, too. Magikarp refused to even splash around like he normally did, watching with sinking spirits as the trainer came closer and closer. It was just a kid, but most of the trainers were nowadays, thanks to those strange Pokemon Professors. And it was easy to find the trainers, too; they always had ridiculous hats and proudly toted around their fancy partner Pokemon. As lonely as Magikarp was, he didn't have such great expectations for these young trainers. They'd have no chance at all if it weren't for the fact that the whole entire Pokemon world was structured so that everything would be easy for them. But not so for the poor Pokemon. Oh, cruelty.
The girl finally took notice of Magikarp and started running, her Pikachu scurrying along by her feet.
"Oh, an electric. Great. Just great..." Magikarp muttered. "As if I don't get hurt enough without a type disadvantage..."
He trailed off as the trainer got within hearing range, in keeping with Mew's instructions to remain completely silent. Sure, it didn't matter whether or not he followed the "plan"; it would fail anyway. But Mew was such a good friend that Magikarp felt obligated to listen to her and go along with her half-baked plans to find him a trainer. The girl knelt down and poked at him; Magikarp held his breath.
"Is...Is it dead?"
"Piii..."
The ditzy girl continued poking at Magikarp, but the Pikachu was a little bit smarter. It rolled Magikarp right off the path and into the water that was a "deep, blue color".
"Oh...Good thinking, Chuhee. It probably just needed to get wet again. Which is weird since I've seen a trainer walking around with a Magikarp before. Do you think that maybe all water Pokemon can breathe air? I bet they can, so why do they live in the water..."
Magikarp's heart leaped when he heard that. A trainer walking around with a Magikarp, he thought dreamily, I must find him!
"Oh...It's not moving still. It's just floating on its side...Is that bad"
"Pika."
The trainer looked almost thoughtful for a minute, but it soon became apparent that she wasn't really thinking at all. "Okay! Chuhee use Thunder!" she ordered, pointing dramatically at the unfortunate target.
Magikarp's eyes widened, but there was no time to dodge.
Chuhee looked concerned for a moment, but so as not to embarrass its trainer, it dropped a vicious thunderbolt into the water, jolting the entire pond of unsuspecting fish. It wasn't long before the victims came bobbing up to the surface, dead or somewhere near death.
"Pika..."
The trainer seemed to be remorseful for a moment, but her voice was all sunshine and rainbows when she spoke. "Well, I guess that didn't work out so well! At least we got that Magikarp off of the road so it doesn't bother any more trainers trying to get around, right Chuhee?"
Chuhee, on the other hand, was very much bothered. Sure, it had known this was coming, but it still felt bad about committing genocide on this particular lake's entire population of fish Pokemon.
"Well, time to get going!" Mindless trainer said cheerily, and set off on her way.
"Pika..."
"Come on!"
Chuhee gave one last look of apology before rushing off after its trainer.
Mew hovered nearby, and darted out of the bushes as soon as the pair was out of sight. She rushed right into the water and fished out her friend. Magikarp didn't look very good. Well, that was an understatement. He certainly looked bad, but at least he was alive.
"You survived! Ohmygod I was so worried that she killed you! What were you thinking?" Mew gushed, anxiously listening to Magikarp's irregular heartbeat while trying to find a good spot to feel for a pulse.
Mew fluttered around uselessly for a good thirty minutes before Magikarp managed to cough a little and sort of woke up.
"You're awake! Ohmygod I was so worried that you went into a coma or something. Why didn't you just get up if you were fine this whole time? Are you trying to make me feel bad? I bet you are since this plan didn't work out very well...But that's okay, and you don't have to be, because I'll think of another one and next time it'll work for sure, I promise! I know this one didn't go so well, and I'm sorry, but I thought for sure some young trainer would feel bad about a Magikarp lying passed out on the road and take it in, but I guess that trainer was just mean, and if it was someone else they totally would've gone for it, you know? So just hang tight, and you'll have a trainer in no time! And this time I really mean it, I'm going to work way harder, and..."
Magikarp, still too weak for words, just glared up at Mew as she continued her ranting sort-of apology/pep talk. He didn't feel anywhere near ready for Mew's next idea, and comforted himself with thoughts of running away as the sky grew darker. That is, until he realized that Mew could find him anywhere he went, and his fantasies were suddenly much bleaker. Instead, he turned his train of thought to the Magikarp trainer he'd heard about, and how wonderful it would be if only he could find him.
"Oh, you still look really bad. Do you want me to take you to a Pokemon Center? I hear they can fix up Pokemon in, like, half a second. I've never actually tried it before, but I think it'll work! Wanna try it?"
Magikarp still wasn't really listening, as now he was a big scary Gyarados in his dream-land proudly ferrying his trainer across the sea while firing ice beams at the Wingulls that wheeled overhead. He smiled blissfully, which Mew took to mean "yes". So she wrapped her tail around him and took to the air, ignoring the strangled cries of terror as Magikarp swung dangerously over the tree-tops.
"Now, if I could just remember where I can find a Pokemon Center..."
Author's Note: Wow! I wrote this and didn't edit it and just splashed it up upon your undeserving computer screens! I realized I had been neglecting my account without even putting up more than a few chapters, and so I hastily wrote a Pokemon fanfic. I just thought it would be funny to write a story about a Magikarp (the undisputed king of useless Pokemon) trying to find a trainer who will accept him and make all his dreams come true (meaning: turn him into a Gyarados so he won't be useless). Throw in one of the most wonderful and rare Pokemon ever (Mew) and see where it goes from there. Yes, bubble-headed trainer shall reappear later.
*Disclaimer: Chuhee I stole from my friend Joy. As she is Korean, her middle name is Juhee (it means Joy, lol) and so I took the 'chu' from the end of Pikachu, and thus butchered her most wonderful name. Sorry, Joy! But you ARE evil, after all. And I WILL prove it.
Well, that's it for now. What will happen at the Pokemon Center? Will Mew even be able to get them there? Stay tuned a couple months and you might just find out!
3 Mela