Hello everyone! :) So this is just a short Captain Canary fic that was on my mind, I hope you like it! And please please please drop me a review! :)
Thankyou to RedQ for beta-ing this!
I DO NOT own Legands Of Tomorrow, however sad it is.
*NOTE*- This is going of the usumption that Lenard acually killed Mick! Please keep that in mind! :)
What Do You Do?
Lenard Snart was sitting in his room when it happened. It had been exactly one week since he killed Mick, though he hadn't thought about it much. Instead he buried himself in whatever work he could find. Running himself ragged, and never letting himself have time to process or ponder what he had done to his partner; his friend.
But now, after all that time, there was finally nothing to do. Nothing needed done around the ship. There was no mission right then. Nothing. And it was destroying him.
He was in his corhters all alone, having been given the night to himself. Now, after only an hour of sitting there, he was breaking. The time alone had given him the time to do the one thing he didn't want to do. Think.
He thought of how him and Mick meant when they were fourteen, and how he saved him from the boys that had been beating him up in the prison yard. He thought about all of the heist they pulled before they had that fallout when they were twenty. He thinks about when he got back in business with him; making amends with Lisa's help. Then going up against the Flash. All the good times they had, and all the times that they almost killer each other. Then, how they finally did.
He thinks about the night he killed him. The conversation they had before he iced him. "I wish there was another way Mick."
His mind makes to that one line in the conversation, and he breaks.
He breaks down crying for the first time in over ten years. He cries for his lost friend, and for what he did to him. He cries for all the times he's messed up and hurt someone he cares about. He lets himself feel the emotions as they come. Doesn't suppress them, or fight them. He just gives into them.
-X-
Half an hour later he was starting to be able to breathe right again. There was still so much raw emotion though- too much for him to continue being alone with. If he was alone for much longer, he would do something that he would regreat. Something he promised himself he would never do no matter how bad it got.
But who? He thought. There really wasn't anyone who he had trusted with his emotions. Of course there was Lisa, and sometimes Mick… but no one else.
Sara. He thought.
He had told her a story that only a few people know. She had porbably dealt with this kind of stuff. He scoffed. Who was he kidding, of course she had dealt with this stuff! She was from the League of Freakin' Assassins! She had to have experienced guilt in the begingin!
Guilt.
Was that what this was? Was it guilt from killing Mick, and then it was just enough to cause all the other emotions to go over?
It didn't matter now. Right now what mattered was getting up and going to see Sara because if he didn't he would die.
Sara had been through a lot. She was not quick to juge, and she had even been on both sides of the law. She might even understand where Len is coming from. The only problem he faced now was willing himself to get up, and making sure no one sees him like he is now. Oh, and he also had to worry about if he did get caught, what his teammates would think. Great.
"Gideon," He said, his voice ruff and his thought dry from crying.
"Yes Mr. Snart?"
"Where are the others right now?"
"Currently, everyone is in their rooms. Is there something I could help you with?"
"No Gideon." He replied. "Just trying to figure something out."
"Are you sure Mr. Snart? Your vitals are a bit off. Are you sure you don't want me to get someone, or is there some way I could assist?"
Lenard was about to snap something back about how he had already said no, when he thought of something. "Actually Gideon, could you ask Sara something?"
"Of course Mr. Snart. What is it that you would like me to ask her?"
"Ask her," He cleared his throat. "Ask her if she would mind some company please. Tell her I would like to talk to her."
"Right away."
Ten minutes later there was knock on his door. "Open up Snart." Sara's voice came through the door. Lenard got up and opened the door for her, ushering her in quickly before shutting it again.
"You wanted to talk?" She said in a smooth, calm tone as she went over to his bed and sat on it. She looked back up at him from where she was sitting when she realized that he hadn't moved. She started to study him, assessing what was going on. She took in his tearstained face and red rimed eyes, the way his body posture just kind of sagged, like he had given up. He looked uncomfortable to.
"I uhm-" He cleared his throat. "I just had a question for you." She raised an eyebrow for him to continue. Wow, she's not making this easy. Lenard thought. "How do- Do you- "He sighed. He hadn't stumbled over words in years! Why now?! "How do you deal with hurting- killing- your friends?"
Sara flinched at his words, thinking of the first person she killed, and realizing what this was all about. "So you actually did it?"
Len looked down at his hands. He had killed many people before. Heck! Just last year he had killed a guy in cold blood because he had wanted out on a job! Or, there was when he killed the seller that had given him the cold gun. Killing had never fazed him before… So why now?!
"It's different, isn't it?" Sara's voice startled him out of his thinking. "Killing never fazed you; at least not after the first. But now… Now it all seems different. You can't look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, or when your washing your hands. You're afraid you're just going to turn around and end up killing someone else that was close to you; that you had finally let in. Right?"
Lenard let his silence be an answer.
She patted the bed beside her, and he went to sit down. "So, I'm not going to get all mushy-gushy and tell you that everything is ok, or will be. And I'm definitely not going to tell you that you'll stop regretting it someday. I'm going to be honest with you. OK?" He nodded, and Sara continued. "It will never stop hurting. The guilt of it will never go away. That's just how it is, for the rest of your life. But," She said, looking over to him and taking his hands in hers. Lenard tensed, but didn't pull away. "The one thing to remember- and I'm gana get cheesy here- is that you don't have to carry the weight alone, and that there are others who have been through the same thing."
Snart smirked just a little. "You weren't kidding when you said you were going to be cheesy."
"Hey, I told you I was going to be honest with you, didn't I?"
"I guess so…" He said. They sat there in comfortable silence for a little bit before Sara got up to leave.
"Well, it's getting late so… I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Wait." He said. There was a little waver in his voice that didn't go unnoticed by Sara. "Could you- I mean- Would you mind- "
"You know it's kind of cute when you stutter." Sara interrupted him with a smile. "But yes. I can stay." She walked back to the bed and laid down on it, but then sat back up. "Would you happen to have any old sweats and a shirt that I can wear? I really don't feel like going all the way to my room just to change."
Lenard chuckled, a deep resonating sound that came from his chest. "Is the Canary lazy? I didn't know that they taught laziness in the League of Assassins."
Sara smacked his arm. "Do you or do you not Lenard Snart?!"
Lenard sighed and got up from where he had been sitting. He walked over to his closet and pulled out what she needed. "Here lazy bird. The bathroom's where the bathroom is in all the other rooms."
She smiled and went to change. When she came back out, Lenard was also changed, but there was something else. He couldn't stop staring at her. She was just so cute in his oversized shirt and loose sweatpants. Then to add to that she had that smile, and the smirk that could rival his own.
"See something you like?"
Sara's voice startled him and he jumped a bit, but recovered quickly. "And what if I do?"
"Well," She said, moving so stand so close to him that she was practically leaning against him. "In that case, we might have a problem." Her voice had lowered almost to a whisper.
"Oh ya?" Lenard asked, his voice the same volume as hers.
"Ya." She said back, starring at his lips.
Then, before either of them know what they're doing, their lips are on each other's. The kiss was deep and sweet. Hard and soft at the same time. Born out of growing affection, the need for comfort, and the situation. When they finally pulled apart Lenard didn't move his hands from where they had traveled to Sara's face. Likewise, Sara didn't move her hands from where they had found their way to his hips.
There stood there in silence. Reveling in what had just happened. Looking into each other's eyes. Ice blue into deep blue.
"Sara." Lenard said, finally breaking the silence.
"Shhh." She said. "Don't talk. Let's just- Let's just go with it." And with that, she sealed their lips together again.