Disclaimer: "The Legend of Korra" does not belong to me. It is property of Bryan Konietzko and Mike DiMartino.
Note: My first fanfic for the Amorra fandom! Just to be clear, Amon is not Noatak in this story, so his original backstory holds true in this fanfic.
"The Temptation of Fear"
He never allowed her to touch his face.
Korra would run her hands up his shoulders. Pull his hood back. Snake her fingers through his short hair, marveling at how soft it was. Then her hands would slide down, lower.
And then he'd grip her wrists, his hands like shackles. He'd glare at her, with those piercing yellow eyes of his, and she'd halt.
"Does it still hurt?"
His face shuttered and she regretted her words instantly. "I –"
But then he'd claim her mouth in a bruising kiss and all thought would disappear.
She still couldn't believe that it had come to this. She'd gone from recklessly challenging him to seeing him in her nightmares to sneaking out in the middle of the night to a cheap hotel just so she could kiss him. Just so she could see his face, hear his voice, as they clung to each other.
It was stupid, it was dangerous, but at the very least, Korra thought, she was beginning to grow less afraid of him. One reason was that, after endless months of refusals on his part and reassurances and pleadings on hers, he'd finally consented to take that damn mask off and let her see him.
During their initial encounters, she'd had to content herself with using her hands to visualize him, as he'd insisted on a blindfold for her and doused lights for him. A freak blackout one night had seemed to undo the need for either, but it had also been his undoing. Fifteen minutes after the lights had sputtered out, they'd flashed back on, right as she and Amon were entangled in an embrace. He'd torn himself away, practically shoving her to the floor, but the damage was done.
But rather than repulse her, as Amon had feared, his scarred face was much more reassuring than the unearthly, wraith-like mask that had haunted her nightmares. The scars hadn't blotted out the humanity of his face nor the emotions that she was learning to read. Even when his eyes blazed with anger, they were a welcome relief from the empty, soulless hollows of his mask.
Yes, she was finally learning to conquer her fear of him. Or so she liked to tell herself.
She was broken out of her thoughts by his fingers gliding down her neck. She sighed, her eyelids fluttering. He tucked her loose hair aside and pressed his burning lips upon her skin.
Emboldened, she wrapped her legs around him and shoved him down into the mattress. He landed with a soft grunt and she grinned. Straddling him, she leaned down and peppered his face with kisses. If he wouldn't let her touch his face with her hands, then her mouth would suffice.
A soft ripple of laughter escaped from his throat and her heart beat wildly. He rested his hands on her hips. She smiled and leaned down to kiss him again. beat
His fingers dug into her hips and she was propelled backwards. Grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, she stared at him challengingly. "Oh, no, mister." She poked him. "I'm on top."
His mouth twisted into an amused smile. "As I recall, you just were."
"Yeah, for five seconds!" She poked his chest again. "Maybe I don't – hey!" He spun her around and she flopped face first onto the mattress. "Amon, that's not fair!" She wiggled. "You distracted me!"
"Always wanting things to be fair." His hand was firm on her back. "I gave you fair warning."
"No, you didn't," she bucked up, "you cheated. Like always!"
"Or perhaps I'm just quicker."
She bucked up again and his hand moved.
To the back of her neck.
Korra stiffened and Amon's fingers froze.
"Korra."
"Let go of me."
His hand slid away and she sat up. She wrapped her arms around herself, her heart pounding.
"Korra…"
"Don't." Her voice was sharper than she'd intended. "Just…" She swayed forward. "Let's take a break."
He said nothing. She felt the mattress rise behind her. The pattering of footsteps followed. The door slid open and then shut with a click.
As soon as he left the room, the blanket of darkness dissolved into an unsettling emptiness. No longer cushioned by the warmth of skin and reassurance of whispered words, Korra rubbed her arms. Even the glow of the room lamp, the lone source of light in the room, couldn't dispel the shadows that slithered over her.
She exhaled harshly. Despite everything she'd told herself, she couldn't let go of her fear. She ran a trembling hand over her face. Even after all these nights, they still hadn't resolved the main issue dangling over their heads.
Whether he was still going to take away her bending.
I'll save you for last.
Korra shivered. What was she doing? Throwing herself at a man who told her to her face that he'd destroy her, who'd threatened to take away the essence of everything she was?
She could just imagine the looks of horror on her friends' faces if they found out that she was with Amon right now. And who would blame them?
I'm afraid of him, she thought. Her mouth and neck were still warm from where he'd kissed her and she flushed. But I want him.
The lamp flickered, and its light shrank to a low burn. Huffing in annoyance, Korra flicked open her palm and conjured a ball of fire. Maybe she should stop this now. She still didn't know what he planned for her. How much longer could they stave off the inevitable? Every second that he touched her, he was that much closer to hurting her.
The flame bounced in her palm.
Korra blinked. She stared down at the flame. It glowed, tiny sparks fluttering almost merrily.
She closed her hand, smothering it.
"Amon? Are you still there?"
There was a pause, and then the door creaked. "Do you wish me to leave?"
"No." He was standing in the doorway, the pale mask shielding his face. She jerked a finger at it. "I want that off." She cocked her head. "And I want your hands back on me."
"You want me to touch you?"
Her voice softened. "Yes."
He slid off the mask and placed it on the bed. His eyes were cautious. Korra smiled and reached out to him, tugging him down to sit beside her.
"Now," she said, her smile turning coy, "where were we?"
She pushed him backwards. He let himself fall, slowly. "That's right." She leaned over him. "We were getting along so well, and then you just had to be naughty."
His eyebrows rose. "Oh?" His hands glided over her hips. "I thought that I was merely taking my turn."
She slapped his hands away. "No, you were being greedy." She braced her hands against either side of his head and kissed him.
Gradually, his body relaxed into hers. Then, with a quick jerk, he rolled them over and Korra laughed into his mouth. He flipped her around so that she landed face first and his mouth trailed to the back of her neck. She braced herself.
"Amon." He stilled at her tone. "Grab my neck."
There was a pause. "Are you sure?"
She reached upwards and interlocked her fingers with his. Slowly, she brought his hand down and rested it on her neck. His fingers curled around her nape and her spine stiffened.
"Korra..."
"Wait." She drew in a ragged breath and willed herself to remain calm. "Give me a minute."
His fingers were cold against her neck and she fought the impulse to flinch. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, then exhaled. Her shoulders slumped forward and she rested her chin against her chest. "Okay."
She raised her head and looked over her shoulder. Amon's face was inscrutable. She smiled weakly. "I'm okay."
His mouth set in a grimace. "Tell me to let go, Korra."
She shook her head. "No." She placed one hand on top of his. Feeling his fingers loosen, she swiveled to face him.
His eyes burned like embers in the dark. Korra resolutely met his gaze and then, untangling her fingers from his, reached for his face.
He stared at her, unblinking, as she stroked his hair. She tucked little wisps behind his ear, and then her fingers crept closely, ever so closely, to his cheek.
She waited for him to stop her. Waited for him to grip her wrist and redirect her hand.
"Tell me to let go, Amon."
His nostrils flared.
"Tell me to let go." Her voice was soft. "I don't want you to be afraid of me."
Amon's eyes narrowed. "I'm not afraid of you."
She raised her eyebrows. "I bet it'll take ten seconds for you to blink." Her fingers traced over his scarred cheek.
"One."
His fingers tightened around her neck.
"Two."
She cupped his face, her thumbs brushing over his cheekbones.
"Three."
The corner of his mouth twitching, Amon moved his free hand towards her face. Korra's throat ran dry.
"Four."
His fingers reached towards her forehead, just as they did in her nightmares. She licked her lips, refusing to look away or blink.
"Five."
His thumb pressed against her forehead.
She released him with a gasp. Squeezing her eyes shut, she muttered, "Okay." She caught her breath. "All right, you won."
"This isn't a game, Korra."
She shook her head. "No. It was a test."
His mouth twisted. "For whom?"
"For me." She settled back on her haunches with a sigh. "And, well, it was...a reminder."
"Of what?"
Korra gazed at him. Yellow eyes stared back at her out of a ruined face. Nostrils and a hint of cartilage were all that were left of his nose. The burn scars ran across his skin in jagged, angry welts and twisted the corner of his mouth into a grimace.
"Fire destroyed everything for you," she said quietly. "It destroyed your home, your family..." She looked down on her hands. "But you face it. You don't run away when firebenders attack you. I've shot fire at you and you've never flinched." She threaded her fingers together. "Any moment these hands could start a fire. Any minute I could go from touching you to burning you."
She shook her head in wonder. "Yet you're still here."
He was silent.
"You could've waited until after you took my bending away. Until it was safe."
"Safe." A note of amusement entered his voice. "So, you admit that your bending is dangerous."
Korra swallowed hard.
"You admit that I have every reason to believe that you would do me harm." His eyes glinted. "Yet if I took your bending right now, you would still despise me and curse my name."
Korra took a moment before responding. "I don't want you to take my bending away. I still think that your methods are wrong."
"And yet you're still here." His head tilted. "Why?"
She steadfastly met his eyes. "Because I want to be here."
She took his hand in hers. "I want to be with you, Amon. I want..." I want you. "I want to figure this out."
His fingers tightened around hers. "It would be much easier for both of us if you relinquished your bending willingly." His voice was grave. "If you saw what I see."
She smiled wryly. "You know me, Amon, I don't give up that easily." She shifted. "But...I'm trying to see. And now that I think about it...it seems kind of silly."
"What does?"
Her eyebrows furrowed. Her pride urged her not to do it, hissed that to do so was a weakness. But he already knew. He'd already seen her at her most defenseless. And when had denial ever helped her?
"My fear."
As soon as the admission left her lips, her eyes dropped to their entwined hands. There, she'd said it.
"I don't want to be afraid, Amon. But bending...it's a part of me, and I still don't see who I could be without it."
Her shoulders slumped. "But obviously you do. So...what do you see?"
A vanquished opponent, a laughingstock of an Avatar, a pathetic little girl, the symbol of the Equalists' triumph...
His hand cupped her cheek. Startled, her eyes flew up. His yellow eyes bored into hers just as intensely as they had during that terrifying night at Aang Memorial Island. When his Equalists had ambushed her and bound her. When he'd emerged from the shadows like a phantom and told her how he planned to destroy her.
But there were no Equalists with them now. And the hand that held her cheek was gentle. His thumb traced over her lips and her breath caught.
Slowly, he bent his head towards hers.
"Let me show you."