A/N- I know, I know; I need to update some of my non-Fred stories. So this one will be my last Fred update for this week. Sound good? Here is the update schedule I will most likely follow for the next week. Please remember that its just an ideal, and unlikely to happen exactly as written. I will try, though.
Friday (tonight)- this story
Saturday- Don't you Remember
Sunday- New story
Monday- Peeta's Advice (no, I haven't forgotten that one!)
Tuesday- no update likely
Wednesday- New story
Thursday- New story
How does that sound? Review (hint, hint) and let me know. : )
Dear Fred's Diary,
That's right, I found you. You were hidden right under Fred's matress. I have read you, diary, and now know all of Fred's secrets. He is an interesting young fellow. There was an account of him eating a dead frog he found on the playground. Then another one about him getting sent to juvenile detention after contracting mad cow disease. Young Fred would benefit from an extended trip to the naughty corner. But he just won't sit still!
Then again, that is what duct tape is for, is it not?
Love,
Claudio Gregory
"Ahhhhh!"
Fred's scream was audible throughout the neighborhood. "That thing is attacking me with duct tape!"
"If you would just sit still, Fred, everything will be alright."
"Never, Claudio, never! I WILL NOT BE QUIET!"
"Then you will be duct taped. Naughty children need punishment."
"I'm not naughty, I'm unique. MASSIVE difference!
"Don't be sassy! That's it; more duct tape for you.
"Nooooooo!"
Dear MY Diary,
I'm so sorry Claudio got into you. I'm moving you to a new secret location; my mom's closet. Well, I'm moving you there now. Hope you like it!
Love,
Fred
One week later...
"FRED!"
"Yes, Mommy?"
"I found a rather interesting book in my closet. Would you like to know it's contents?"
Fred was confused. "A young adult fantasy novel in which an eleven-year-old boy goes to a magic school known as Hogwarts? Mom, I didn't know you liked Harry Potter?"
Mrs. Figglehorn took a deep breath. "You amaze me sometimes, Fred."
Fred teared up a bit. "Aww, thank you, mommy!"
"I didn't mean it like that, Fred! And the book was your diary. You are in big trouble. Eating that frog was dangerous. Do you have any idea what kind of bacteria could have been in it?"
Fred thought for a moment; this question was quite challenging. "E. coli? Botulisim? Salmonella? But it's okay.I have super-immunity after being bitten by the cat with rabies so many times. "
And then, for the second time that day, Mrs. Figglehorn dropped Fred off to the outskirts of town and left him there."