Now:
My eyes cast a wide landscape over the city, its bright lights beaming like beacons against the dark sky. From up here I could just make out glowing stars through the blanket of light pollution, bathing the sky. Philadelphia, my home from the very beginning. The place where I feel home. The place where I feel like everyone else.
Unless you've sat on a skyscraper, you've never heard such sounds that occupy the city. Rescue services sirens, car tires screeching, crashes and bangs. The warm air running through your hair, mixed with so many smells its overwhelming to the senses. At the same time there is a freedom, no strings and ties.
With thoughts occupying your mind to the point of insanity, this is almost a refreshing exercise I do daily. With everything so fresh in your mind with no release, this...well this is just something I've found to work.
What sort of things could drive you mad you wonder? Well I'm not exactly a normal kid...I was once, but not anymore. I guess I should take you back, to and before when everything turned to complete custard and hell.
Then:
It's going to sound pretty cliché, but I indeed was your average boring 26 year old who wears jeans and merch shirts. A shy introvert who would rather get lost in her music and mind then even look at someone. People just held no interest to me. I mean really.
I was studying in Philadelphia with my best friend Honey. Yes, that's her name. Honey Spears. She'll kill you if you compare her to Britney Spears though.
"Come on Honey, while we are young." The short 26 year old woman called to her friend from inside the taxi as she stepped out into the Manhattan sunlight. She pushed her purple dyed hair out of her eyes to take in the scenery. They certainly weren't in Philly anymore.
"Calm down Bea. We have all day." Her best friend Honey, mumbled hopping out. She heavily swung a handbag over her shoulder and went around to stand beside her.
Both girls eye's were wide in wonder at the sights around them. Even though a whole continent didn't separate each city, they hardly made the effort to visit. Right now study suffocated them like a smog and until they graduated the future was indeed just a future they could not yet see.
Honey happily spun around looking exactly like a Paris girl in a movie, her natural blonde hair flowing in the spin with her flowery dress. "We must visit every shop we can possibly find. No ifs and no buts."
A slight sigh came from Bea as she took out her camera and began snapping shots of the tall buildings. Philly had its fair share of massive buildings, but maybe it was just something about being here that made them have twice the feel to it.
"Seriously Honey we are totally moving here after university. You'd fit right in. City Sweet."
The blonde woman threw her focus completely on her friend, a more serious look casting over her features. The look was strong in her hazel eyes. She wasn't at all happy with that idea.
"You know how I feel about moving here."
Bea knew all too well. This was basically superhero territory. How many dangerous and deadly fights had broken out on the streets? What original buildings around here were still standing? What horrors were running through citizens minds? But all this is what had intrigued Bea. The supernatural, the superhuman. She wanted to be close to it, almost in the centre. This was all to Honey's demise.
Now looking back, I wish I had listened to Honey. It was as if she knew something wasn't right. We'd always joked she had a six sense about things, but I was mad. I wouldn't call myself a fangirl of heroes, more of a loyal fan. Yet there was that one hero that always brought out a slight nerd out in me...
"The closer you are to damn AvengersTower the better right? So when you look out the window BAM!" Honey clapped her hands hard in front of Bea's face. "Iron Bootay in your face".
"You're being completely irrational. That's not the reason." Bea frowned at her and began to walk down the sidewalk, cautiously watching people pass her. Anyone could be a superhuman or maybe even a mutant.
The thought excited her and at the same time made her realise how many people there were. That in fact there would be a day when she would be one of these citizens, going by their day innocently. Rushing to work, rushing to class, rushing to families, rushing to events. She never really thought about it till now.
Honey was looking at her mobile, lost in the GPS. She mumbled to herself, taking a mental note of places she wanted to visit.
"You need to spend about a week in this city to fully appreciate it." she said, eyes briefly casting up as a fit young man wondered past. "I'm already seeing why..."
Bea rolled her eyes and once again snapped shots of their surroundings. They weren't the only noticeable tourists to their relief. Tour guides were leading groups around. More cameras clicking and excited looking people.
"Next time we are staying over." Honey muttered, taking leading up the street.
"All day is just fine for a first time." Bea lightly spoke, trying to match her friend's fast stride.
"Your first time, my eighth time. Most of my family live here. Don't know what my family saw in Philidullphia"
The purple haired woman elbowed her friend in the side. "Hush you!"
Her friend laughed and ran off through the crowd, causing her to follow suit. They passed shops she'd never even heard off. A few happened to sport even superhero merch. She knew given a state she'd become that crazy cosplayer or collector. She'd probably even stay outside just walk the streets in hopes of even having a glimpse of a hero. Maybe even a battle.
She raced by her friend quickly slowing down and dodging a group of bystanders taking photos.
Honey smiled amused at a slightly breathless Bea. "Don't look behind you. You may forget to breathe."
Bea gave a little squeal and spun around. Looming up above them, exactly what the crowd was staring at was the famous AvengersTower. Rebuilt about a dozen times, it almost glowed the brightest in the sunlight next to the surrounding towers. None of them however were as architectural as this. Pictures gave it no justice.
She didn't even realise she had been holding in a deep breath as she got to work at taking pictures of it, her excitement bubbling up inside.
Honey stood next to her, rolling her eyes as they marvelled at it. They couldn't help but over hear the talking next to them. The group was making no means to keep their conversation quiet.
"There are rumours Stark's lost the plot completely."
"What you mean?"
"Twisted, almost superior. He's got San Francisco wrapped around his finger."
"You sure that's true?"
"Well I've just heard it on the grape vine. He's trying out this new App of his. Extremis 3.0 or some shit. Extreme perfection for every imperfection. He's trying it out there and hoping to expand it globally."
"Sounds like a typical marketing have. How the hell do you get perfection from an App?"
"Apparently it works very well."
The group continued on with their talk at they walked off towards a cluster of shops. Bea slightly frowned. Tony Stark had disappeared off the radar for quite a while after an event of massive proportions. It had involved all the heroes flipping the coop, but that had been righted. It had be on the news or so it was made to believe it had all been righted. It sounded like not all had returned to themselves. Was that something to worry about?
She shook her head hard. No, there was no way there was truth to those rumors. She forced herself to shake the thought.
"Do you believe them?" Honey asked lightly, eyes still following the group down the road. She was easily led on by things. Possibly a downfall of hers.
However the thought in her voice was strong to hear. It was even more of a reason for her to not want to begin life here.
The young woman kept her gaze locked on the tower before her. "You can't always believe the rumours Hon. Those used to get you in trouble remember?"
Honey was completely her opposite and sometimes it amazed Bea why she continued to hang around her through thick and thin.
"But if he really has lost it...hypothetically speaking for your sake?"
She didn't want to think about the 'if'. She turned her back to her friend. It wasn't just a fan thing. She looked up to him, yet who could possibly understand that? Nobody understands a connection one fan can have to an idol. Is it attraction? Is it fandom? Or is it relatable? She remained silent, hating that one strand of possible doubt that swam in her soul.
"Just like that song Porcelain by Patrick Stump." Honey said, beginning to sing a song in her soft chiming voice. "'Cause it can get complicated, to realise your idols tainted'".
"I know." Bea replied, a tad bit of short coming into her words.
"I just don't want you getting shattered."
I should have listened to her so bad, but when you are blinded in a possible chance to meet your idols, its hard to see anything else. Maybe it was just ironic or a case of us being there at the wrong time. I put it down to a cruel fate, a suffering that had to happen. It was life destroying and I can tell you my mind seemed to break. You tend to never take notice of what is above you...
A sprinkling of something on her head and hands, followed by a scream to look up at the sky was the only thing breaking Bea from her doubts.
Up above Manhattan, a far enough distance just out of earshot, everyone saw blue lights shooting across the sky from one of the fast flying figures. The figures attack was replied with a flash of orange light. Even from down here they could see it wasn't a public display, but something more serious.
"You may get your fight just yet Bea."
The fast flying figure, shooting his blue attacks froze for a moment. Everyone seemed to hold their breaths before a massive blue blast exploded from the figure. Like a bullet being fired the other figure was catapulted back at an immense speed, straight towards their part of the city.
Everyone watched in amazement and wonder as the figure got closer and closer, until it smashed through a building and crashed into the ground, not far away from where Bea and Honey were standing in awe.
Everyone was silent and froze as the crashed figure finally stirred from his crater and stood up, taking in his surroundings. His black eyes fell on each person. Bea felt a dark chill run down her body. It was like staring into the eyes of Death himself. He was ugly, scarred and rough ripped olive skin, a sneer with missing teeth, dressed in a torn cloak.
Nobody dared to move. He laughed coldly and through three black balls in different directions with one swift-ful throw. They made a loud ding as they hit the ground and rolled across the area, coming to a stop nearby the crowds.
"RUUUUUN!" a woman's scream horrifically pierced the silent air.
Everything at that moment turned into mass hysteria. People were running in all directions, dropping things, trampling over each other, screaming and trying not to trip over their own feet.
A moment later the balls exploded with a massive bang. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The shockwave from the explosions sent everyone flying in every direction. Honey and Bea screamed as in mid run they were hit from the side with the impact. It felt like an invisible wall, sending them both crashing into the side of a building. The screams were deafening and agonizing to hear as everyone forced themselves up, trying to find friends or loved ones thrown by the explosion.
Bea's vision briefly flickered in front of her eyes from the impact. A pain running through her back as she forced herself up, tugging Honey to her feet who groaned in pain.
More balls were thrown as everyone gathered their bearings and began to run. More dings on the concrete as the next wave of balls fell. These weren't just a shockwave pulse. These included shrapnel and more. The explosions caused the worst screams Bea had ever heard. She to was one behind those screams.
I can't exactly explain how it felt to be an explosion of such magnitude. I try not to think too much about it. Just imagine you cutting your finger with a sharp knife. A decent slice. Now picture that one slice happening all over your body at once. The shrapnel imbedding itself in your limbs, your skin, possibly organs. You want to lie on the ground screaming in pure agony and dig at all the places, but you cant lie down. You have to get up and run, just as the next explosion goes off. You're thrown harder and faster through a glass window. Now you have glass puncturing into your skin. You're a crawling pin cushion, screaming. You can taste the blood in your mouth, you can feel it warmly running against your skin and you're fighting to live.
Bea couldn't hear anything over her agonizing screams and shellshock. Her body felt like it was on fire as she crawled over to where Honey lay moaning loudly in agony.
"Honey...please we...have to...get up." Bea gritted through her teeth, arms trembling like crazy.
"Bea...I...hurt...I...cant..."
Bea managed to force herself to her feet, trying to hold back the scream welling inside of her. She dragged a heavy Honey over to a bench. They seemed to have been thrown into a Asian takeaway shop from the second blast. Pushing her own pain to the side she struggle to cater Honey's weight and lift her up against the bench.
"FUUUCK!" Honey screamed, digging her nails into the bench from pain.
Bea was breathing deep, blood running from the scratches and shrapnel to her face. She looked at her friend who had blood running all over her. She tried to ignore the glob of red coming from her head.
"I can't do this Bea!" The blonde screamed, body shaking under her weight.
"You're not staying here dammit!" Bea snapped, putting Honey's arm around her shoulders. They froze as a dozen more explosions went off, causing them to stumble as the ground shook. The glass around shattered, followed by screams and crashes.
Bea half limped, half dragged them out of the shop. They both froze looking around. It was like a scene out of a movie, but this was all real. Windows were shattered, cars were lined with shrapnel holes. People were screaming and lying on the ground. In between the ones crawling or trying to stand others lay motionless. All the while the maniac grinned, his psychotic smile turning Bea's stomach to a tight knot. He seemed to stare right at her sneering. Enjoying.
"Bea...I don't feel too good..." Honey whispered, becoming more of a weight for Bea.
Then the next wave came. Bea only knew these couldn't be good.
Fire. Horrible fire. Those were fire contained in one powerful explosion, meant to finish off anyone still fighting to breathe.
The explosion was so powerful everyone was once again airborne with flames wrapping around them. Bea and Honey shrieked over the deafening bang. They felt the heat ripple over them. Excoriating. Too hot.
They crashed hard into the ground and rolled along the broken and jagged concrete.
Bea lay there, ears ringing loudly, head-spinning, bile rising up her throat. Through the pain she rolled over heaving and vomiting onto the ground, laced with blood. She panted and desperately looked around.
"HONEY!" She began to scream in utter distress trying to see through the blood messing up her vision. She couldn't focus as she aimlessly crawled around, each movement causing her body to react in fury. The screams were burning into her mind, the sights of burning and crumbing buildings. Heavy smoke rising into the air as she coughed and crawled over to a body not far away. She gently pushed it over and screamed. The scream was almost as if her soul was dying.
Honey lay there, her hair singed, pale skin bright red. The skin to her face completely burnt, flesh around her mouth hanging. Her eyes slightly moved looking up at Bea, a horrible wheeze like death escaping.
"HONEEEEEEEEEEY!" Bea screamed again, trying not to notice the amount of blood seeping through her dress.
She heard a familiar ding not far away, knowing the sound of another ball hitting the ground. She clung tightly onto her friend and closed her eyes tightly as she heard the next explosion and everything went black.
Consciousness dizzily started to come back, along with the pain. Oh the pain that ripped another scream through her throat. Her skin was raw and burnt. There were places it was burnt to the muscle. Others ugly hanging flesh. She was horrified, petrified.
She opened her eyes, panting and heaving. Where...huh...? She wasn't in the same place she had been. There were no bodies, no wreckage, however she could see and smell the smoke hung in the air nearby. Honey lay completely motionless beside her, skin with burns deep till the bone was visible.
Tears were streaming down Bea's face as she looked around desperately.
"Help!" She tried to scream, but all that could come out was a squeak.
Through the burning glare she saw a figure standing there. A bright glowing chrome figure, with light blue lights in certain places, the biggest being in the centre of his chest.
She made a gagged sound of relief and hysterical crying as the figure walked over to her. Standing in front of her was him, Iron Man in all his glowing glory. She stared in horror into his pure blue glowing eyes, face exposed to the world.
"Help us please." She begged, her body refusing to move at her wishes.
Tony just stared at her, his face almost untellable. Why wasn't he rushing them to the doctors? Rushing Honey at least?
"Mr. Stark pleeease!" Bea could feel the pain beginning to bear down too much. She refused to give up.
And yet he just stood there, armor scratched and sliced at, blood running down his own face.
And that's when i realised they had been right. He had become twisted, mad. He hadn't returned home as the Tony Stark we all knew and loved. His cold blue eyes were staring right through me, like I was just going to be another causality to add to the list. He was waiting to see how far I could bargin and grovel for my life and I did the mistake of giving in.
"Save her at least..."
'Cause it can get complicated, to realise your idols tainted'.
"Pleease Mr. Stark...please save us...save her...I'll do anything you want..." Bea's vision was starting to darken, her breathing more harder and a struggle. "PLEASE, PLEASE I'LL DO FUCKEN ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST SAVE US PLEASE. ANYTHING!" and with that Bea felt the darkness drag her down into death.
And those last words are the last regrets I ever had...
Now:
I broke from my thoughts, alarm bells ringing as I thought I heard a scream break into the silence. Nothing. Wiping away the tears before they broke free, I stepped to the edge of the tall building. The higher the building was, the better it was in my opinion.
Looking over the edge with a careless expression, I watched the cars looming below, the hard ground that could instantly kill me. I wasn't suicidal for the fact that my best friend was dead or that I should have died with her. Hell, I wasn't even suicidal for the fact I still couldn't find the bastard who was responsible for the explosions. It was all due to what I'd become. To what I had woken up as.
I died that day, along with Honey and 100 others. Kids, parents, loved ones, grandparents, heroes. The thought tore me apart.
The breeze got stronger rustling my wavy purple hair like a flag. It ran up my clothes, the air fill of so many smells.
Without a care I leant forward and plummeted. I closed my eyes, the feeling of falling, flying. Almost at that moment feeling human, feeling normal, but then as always...well I can't die.
It started off as a tinge running through my body. I felt it first in my bones like a dreaded arthritis, that spread like a current. I looked at my bear arms and watched as my skin yellowed before rough metal and wires appeared over the yellow. Next was the shiny hard grey and white metal armor, growing out of my body, first wrapping around my legs, body, arms and finishing on my head. The faceplate snapped shut, cutting off the air. Numbers, lights, details flashed quickly by before the thrusters burst to life, sending me back into the sky like a bullet.
Well it was fun while it lasted.
Well technically I can die, but as in jumping off a building yeah I sort have an inbuilt safety device, along with other things.
Flying over the city I must admit is a thing I don't mind. You get to see the beauty of the city. The lights blurring past as you try to touch the stars. If I could escape to space I would.
My quiet flying is suddenly broken by a almost deafening ringtone. Its fitting I will admit. It screams in my ears "I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU" Oh I do enjoy some Three Days Grace. Along with the song pops up a picture of my boss. Him drinking some stupid Martini taking a damn stupid selfie. Someone I have grown to loathe more than life, but at the same time I can't hate him all the way through. That someone is Tony Stark. I take a deep breathe and answer.
"Yes...tell me what you want done...and who you want it done to...but this is overtime jerk."
Bea Sarata died that day and when she woke up, she woke up as someone else.
Welcome to my hell
Dont miss the new life of Bea Sarata in the next chapter: "The Monster I've Become"