IN THE BOMBO
By MGA
Deep within the winding streets of Bombay, an unknown force was at stir.
It was just another typical day for the young Juhi Rai. This chik was getting ready for another day on the job. And my oh my, Juhi was a girl of perseverance and classiness, if I do say so myself. You see readers; Juhi was a member of a club, the Bombay club. And no, not that elegant furniture accessory franchise. Juhi was a citizen of the highly populated city of Bombay, India. Ah, Bombay, India, and what a city indeed; the towers, the fresh fruit, the camels, the brothels.
Anyhow, this brown girl was actually a surprisingly witty one. For the past 2 years, 23 year old Juhi RR obtained a rather well-paying job as an accountant for the rather well-renowned bank known as the "The State Bank of India". Yes, one could say that Juhi had it all; the looks, the dough, the crib, the rims, the tims, brims, gyms, limbs, hymns. But alas, Juhi was missing one important piece to her life puzzle. The love. This lonely soul was feeling her fruit of romance beginning to go past its expiry date. Foolish Juhi, we could say. However, this matter need not be laughed at. For desperate Juhi was desperately desperate. Yes, twas true. For hours the poor chik would moan in a muse of isolation. When, oh just when will she find love? D;
A FEW DAYS LATER
While Juhi began preparing for another day at work, the love emptiness began to cross her mind again.
"COMMON JU. FOCUS, YOU GOT THIS. YOU WILL FIND YOUR MR. DESTINY." Juhi closed her eyes.
"1…..2…..3…GOOOOOOO TEAM!" And she headed off to work.
MEANWHILE
*FLISH*FLASH*FLISH*FLASH*
Voice 1: "Common Chander, gimme some angles!"
Voice 2: "Can you tell us about your next piece?"
Voice 3: "CHANDER U R NUMBA 1."
Voice 4: "Why have you suddenly decided to move to Bombay?"
"PLEASE PLEASE people. All questions for Chander can be answered on the press conference this Wednesday!" said Jose, Chander's Manager.
Voices: "WHY NOT NOW?"
*Chander turned around w/ smirk on face*
"All will be revealed soon" he said.
*Screams of audience while Chander walks into his van*
"Oh man, those guys are getting crazier and crazier. You gotta be more careful now. Okay Anirudh?" said Jose.
Chander: Avoid yaar. (. AHAHA) What's next on the schedule?
Manager: Fan signing.
Chander: Uh.
Ah, so many troubles of a teenage adult.
AT THE FAN SIGNING
When Chander arrived at the fan signing location, he was greeted with a leviathan of screaming people. For a regular chum, a scene like that would have been overwhelmingly overwhelmful. But for Chander, it was just another typical day. You see readers; Chander is a man of fame and fortune. This master composer in the "TAMIL MOVIE" industry makes the most rockin hip jams out there. The ladies cannot get enough of him; even the men question their orientation when it comes to this man. But for Chander, on the OTHER HAND, he was not too fond of all this love. In fact, it was too much for him. All he longed for was a SIMPLE love. Just one person, one person, who he could truly trust and care for.
Anyhow, let us get back to current situation at hand. That crowd was getting pretty rowdy. All of a sudden, suddenly, oh so suddenly, Chander sensed fear. The crowd, oh that fearsome crowd, screamed, yelled, pushed, shoved and broke through the body guards chasing after Chander. He screamed too. Chander ran out of the building and began galloping along the winding streets of Bombay.
"Dammit" he thought.
After 4 hours of running, it seemed the fans were finally out of juice. BUT, Chander was exhausted too. To make it even worse, after running for so long, he had no idea where the hell he was. And as I have mentioned before, Bombay is a BIG CHUNKAY CITAY. It was already the evening, and Chander was extremely tired, hungry, and gazed by the event. And so, as the sun began to sink and the busy roads began to die down, the sleepy Chander hit the dirt.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER
"Aw man. What a day I tell you. Uh."
Juhi was returning home from work after a tiring and frustrating day, as you can see. As she grumbled through the streets, all of a sudden, suddenly, oh so suddenly, she saw something from the corner of her eye. It was an unconscious man. Juhi ran towards the life form and began to shake the body. (That's right folks, that body was Chander, but Juhi doesn't know that so SHH.)
"Excuse me? Excuse me! Are you okay!" she screamed.
"Uhhhhhhhhh." The body moaned.
Juhi continued shaking the body.
"Uhhh. Stop. Uhhh"
*GASP* Juhi stopped shaking the body.
She helped the man up.
"Uncle? Are you okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?"
Chander shook his head in a state of confusion.
There was a pause.
"UNCLE? WHO ARE YOU CALLING UNCLE? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?" said Chander.
"No…" Juhi replied.
Chander went blank. He then realized that this woman must have been unable to recognize him due to his shaggy sleepy appearance. He proceeded to fix his hair, wiped his drool and put on his signature smile.
"NOW do you know who I am?" he said.
"No."
"Uhhhh." Chander sighed. "I am CHANDER. THE Chander."
"CHANDERPAUL!" Juhi exclaimed.
"No you nincompoop."
"Oh, good, because you don't look like him at all." Juhi giggled.
And just like that, Chander could feel it. Juhi's sweet expression could not be resisted. Chander felt it I tell you. Camera angles were changing, lights were dimming, loooooooove sequence. (That's right folks, Chander had fallen in love with Juhi, but Juhi doesn't know that so SHH.) He gazed into Juhi's eyes.
"Uhm. Excuse me? Are you alright?" she asked.
Chander got a hold of himself.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."
"Oh okay. Well I'm gonna go now." Juhi began to walk off.
"WAIT!" Chander yelled.
Juhi turned around.
"What's your name?" he asked.
She smiled. "Rai. Juhi Rai."
And as the two walked off into opposite directions into the distance, the sun disappeared behind the closing curtains of the night and the moon glowed as the streets below of Bombay went to sleep. Oh, what poetry!
THE NEXT DAY
Ah, Wednesday, 9AM. Juhi was ready for another day of work. She approached the bank, all readied up for business. But, as she was about to enter the building, she was stopped by an unknown force.
"GOOOOODDDDD MORNING JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
"Hello. Gary."
"Whoa whoa. Good to see you too, GOSH" said Gary. "So…what's up?"
"Oh, nothing really. Are you ready for the meeting today?"
"What mee-" he paused. "DAMMIT"
You see readers; Gary was one of Juhi's good friends at the bank. He was the head economist in their team, and Juhi met him when they were teamed up together with the other accountants for the fiscal budget evaluation last month.
"Gary, you know you were the one who planned this meeting."
"I KNOW. SHOOT SHOOT. IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT." Gary began to smack his head.
"Stop it Gary! Stop! You are making a scene!"
Gary released himself from his wrath.
"Sorry Jer. Anyhow, I have something to tell you."
"Okay, let's walk and talk. I don't want to be late again because of you."
"Roger."
The two walked into the building and scanned their super cool ID cards on a machine which opened the elevator. So cool, I know.
"So, as I was saying…" Gary began. "Yesterday Shah was looking for you again. He asked me if I knew if you were busy this week. HAHAHA. And then he asked me for your number. Oh my gosh, it was so funny."
"REALLY?" Juhi winced.
"Yeah, oh god. And he looked so worried and scared that I would say no. So I gave it to him."
"YOU WHAAAAAATTTTT!" Juhi screamed.
Gary fell on the ground and whole building shook. Juhi could not believe this. Sure, one would think that Juhi should be filled with rapturous joy that a guy is interested in her. But you guys don't get it. Shah is a total LOSER in the office. He has these weird glasses and he always stutters when he talks because he is so nervous. And, he always eats lunch alone because he is too chicken to approach people. Juhi doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone like THAT. Would you?
Exactly, so shut up.
Anyhow…back to the situation.
"Gary. Gary. Gary. Why did you do that? WHYYYY? WHY? WHY? Do you know what you have done? NOOO. GARY YOU IDIOT." Juhi was going crazy. But Gary just continued laughing.
"BAHAHAHA OHOHO. Oh Juhi I am sorry but he just looked so pitiful. And I could not just give up the opportunity of you finding a love. He may be the one."
"NO WAY. NO WAY. NO WAY. HE IS NOT THE ONE. HE HAS NEVER BEEN THE ONE. AND HE WILL NEVER BE THE ONE."
"Juhi. Stop. Shhh. Stop."
"DON'T TRY TO STOP ME NOW. GARY THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT. HOW COULD BE SO INCONSIDERATE? ME? AND SHAH! DISGUSTING."
"Juhi, seriously, I highly recommend that you shut up now."
"OH MY GOD. DON'T TRY TO BE LIKE THAT NOW GARY. SHAH IS NO-"
"JUHI!" Gary grabbed her shoulders. He then whispered, "Look behind you."
Juhi turned around. Yep, that's right folks; it was Shah. Brown and all. He stood there. He just stood there, I tell you. He looked at Juhi, with watery eyes. Oh the poor soul, how heartbroken he must have felt. But readers; Shah is not an easy man. He will not give up on Juhi so easily.
"J-J-J-J-J-Juhi Rai", said Shah. He got a hold of himself. "I will make you my woman." He then blushed and ran away.
Juhi stood there shocked. Gary started giggling. Juhi slapped him.
"OWWW!"
5:00
What a hectic day for Juhi it was. But, fortunately for her, the mighty 5 o'clock had arrived. It was home time. She packed up her bag, and headed out the building. But, she was stopped by an unknown force. It was Shah.
Juhi was about to have a panic attack. There Shah was, with his 5 o'clock shadow, staring at Juhi.
"Um, excuse me." Juhi said nervously. She tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her shoulder.
"J-J-J-J-J". Shah stopped. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Juhi. I am no longer going to hide in the shadows of my love. I will make you mine."
All the other workers around them stared at the two. How embarrassing it was for Juhi indeed. All of a sudden, suddenly, oh so suddenly, a voice emerged from behind Juhi.
"Says who?"
(That's right folks; it was Chander but Juhi doesn't know that yet so SHH.)
Juhi quickly turned around and saw what she could see.
"CHANDERPAUL!" she yelled.
"What. No. Juhi. It's just Chander remember?" he said.
"Oh right"
Shah was rattled. What was THE Chander doing here and talking to his Juhi?
"Uhm. Excuse me-" Shah was cut off.
"You are excused." Chander quickly replied. "And I will like to inform you now that you will be unable to make Juhi yours."
"Wha-wha-what?" stuttered Shah.
Chander put his arm around Juhi.
"Because she is mine." Chander said with a smirk.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" said Juhi and Shah and everyone else who was watching the scene.
"That's right. As of today, my heart belongs to Juhi Rai." he said.
Juhi stood there frozen. She was having a lot of guy trouble today. She had to get a hold of herself. She stealthily but powerfully kung fu-ed her way out of Chander's arm and then sprinted for freedom.
"JUHI!" Chander and Shah both yelled.
Shah fell on his knees. Chander glanced at him. Chander then went to go chase after Juhi. Shah began to follow.
ON THE STREETS
"Juhi! Juhi wait!" yelled Chander. "Damn she is fast."
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK," Juhi screamed back.
After 45 minutes of intense sprinting, Chander was finally able to catch up to her. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. He looked deeply into her eyes.
"What do you want from me?" questioned Juhi.
"*PANT*PANT*PANT*," he was out of breath.
"WELL?" she continued.
"Take…Take responsibility." Chander said.
"Responsibility? Responsibility for what?" she asked.
"…For stealing my heart." Chander replied slowly.
Juhi stood there shocked.
But then, all of a sudden, suddenly, oh so suddenly, Shah materialized right in front of the two. Shah then did a super dragon lotus high kick flip right in the kisser. He paused.
"Clean up on aisle 5" he said.
Shah then looked at the frozen Juhi, as sweat trickled down the side of his face with a stern look in his eyes. As he was about to grab her wrist, there was an unknown force at stir. It was Chander. Out of the blue, Chander jumped on Shah and started beating him until he turned into a vegetable. Luckily, Juhi stopped him before he killed him. Chander then look at Juhi, as sweat trickled down the side of his face with a stern look in his eyes. He then grabbed Juhi's wrist and pulled her until they reached a bridge under a cherry blossom tree.
"Who ARE you!" Juhi questioned in fear.
Chander took off his body sock, his dentures and his diaper.
"Chanderpaul…" Juhi said motionless.
"OH MY GOD. ITS JUST CHANDER UGH." Chander said annoyingly.
He got a hold of himself.
"Juhi listen to me. Even though we have only met yesterday, I have fallen in love with you. Stay with me. Together we can walk to destiny road not taken."
"OH CHANDER. I LOVE YOU."
"I love you too."
The newly formed couple looked deeply into each other's eyes.
They hugged.