Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC, song belongs to Taylor Swift

You Belong With Me

Your first crush, do you remember the feelings? The feeling of carpenter bees buzzing away, making their summer home in your stomach, the pulsation of the hammer beating in your chest, the feeling of a completely natural high, do you remember those? There's nothing like it, it's something that you are supposed to experience once in a lifetime right? Except it's not a once in a lifetime thing for me, it's something I have experienced for the last twelve years every time I lay eyes on him, every time we talk and joke, every time he slips his arm around my shoulder, every time he enters my thoughts.

I'm pathetic I know, I'm head over heels in love with my best friend, and that's not something that is supposed to happen, you just…well you don't fall in love with the boy next door. But we've been best friends ever since my mother and I moved to Boston, we've grown up together, made it through hard times together, I don't really know how to exist in a world without Derek Shepherd. But today is our last day together, for how long? I'm not sure, a few months, a year, forever, I don't know. You see we graduated from high school two months ago and tomorrow we are both leaving for college only he's going to New York and I'm going to Dartmouth.

"Addie you know I did not mean that…" I hear him approaching behind me.

Addison is his stupid bitch of a 'girlfriend' or so she calls herself. They've been dating for nearly a year and of course they are both going to NYU. I guess you could say we don't get along all that well, she's jealous of the relationship Derek and I have, the closeness that we share and I'm jealous of the fact that she's his girlfriend or whatever.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesn't get your humour like I do

They argue constantly, I don't even know why he is wasting his time with her. She's this stuck up snotty nosed whore and he's this amazing, loving, romantic guy. And he does all these things for her, but all she ever does is shove it back in his face.

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

I pull out my headphones and laugh as he sits across from me rolling his eyes. She never has understood him, and even though they've been dating for a year she hardly knows anything about him. She doesn't know that his favorite ice cream is coffee, because she doesn't eat fattening foods, and apparently I'm Satan himself because I can eat all the junk food in the world and still be skinnier than her. She doesn't know that his favorite and best subject in school has always been biology. She doesn't know that we meet up every Sunday morning at his house to do the crossword puzzle while his mom cooks us breakfast. She doesn't know a lot of things, which is weird because isn't a girlfriend supposed to know pretty much everything about you?

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming 'bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin' for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Here's the thing. We are incredibly different, she is always dressed in designer clothes carrying around her two-thousand dollar purse and walking in her six inch stilettos and I wear t-shirts or tank tops with ratty old jeans and flats, and I stay far, far away from the blood red lipstick.

I sit across from him watching as he tries to dig his ass out of another hole and I really wish that somewhere inside of that brainless head of his, he would come to realize just how big of a bitch she really is and that he could do so much better.

I smile and laugh at him as he flips his phone shut.

"Pissed at you again huh?" I say as I try to suppress the giggle building inside of me.

"You're telling me, I don't even know why the hell I put up with her ass still."

I shake my head as the words, 'neither do I,' run through my mind.

"Come on," he says standing and holding his hand out for mine, "this day is about us, not her, so I was thinking...the normal?" he asks as he throws his arm around my shoulders.

The normal, that means stopping at Sam's Bakery on the corner and finding the fattiest, most unhealthy things we can and then devouring them in the park under the oak tree. It's our weekly ritual and it has been for the last eight years.

Walkin' the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin' to myself
Hey isn't this easy?

So the normal, we did just that, I got an overly large piece of strawberry cheesecake and he got the same overly large piece of Sam's famous triple death chocolate cake. With two forks in hand we were off to our spot under the tree.

We sat under the tree for nearly an hour, stealing pieces of each other's cake and talking about everything, like we always have.

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you're fine I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

"Mmm, I think yours was definitely better today." I stated licking the chocolate off of my fork.

"You would know wouldn't you? You ate more of mine than I did, plus yours."

"Ass."

"Hmm...you love me." He laughs.

It's the laugh that makes those bees go into overdrive; the sad thing is I haven't heard it that much in the last year. Sure he laughs, but it hasn't been the laugh that I fell in love with, the laugh that makes my heart skip a beat every time I hear it. Whether they both realize it or not she has changed him and I would give anything to have the old Derek, my Derek back.

"Hmm..." I say smiling at him, if only he knew, I then look off into the distance to watch a little girl, "so this is it huh?" I say sadly looking back at him. I instantly see the pain resurrect in his gorgeous blue eyes.

"Mer..." I close my eyes and soak in his voice and my name escaping his lips. He doesn't say anything else just scoot closer to be on the bench.

"How am I...how am I supposed to do it Derek? How am I supposed to go on without you? You're all I know." 'You're all I want,' threatens to escape my lips. I look away as a slow, steady stream of tears starts to fall down my face.

"Oh Mer, you're going to be just fine without me, you'll get to Dartmouth, and you'll be going to too many parties and have too many friends to even remember me. And before you know it you'll be out of med school and focused on your career." His last statement sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"This could be it, this could be the last time we ever see each other." I nearly whisper as tears continue to fall.

"What are you talking about? We'll see each other over the breaks and during the summer, this isn't it Meredith Grey, you are a part of my life and I plan on keeping it that way." He smiles, melting my heart.

"Yea?" I ask through my sobs and smiling up to him.

"Yea." He answers placing his hand on the side of my face and wiping the tears away with his thumb. I close my eyes, trying to memorize his touch.

He's wiped my tears hundreds of time in the past twelve years, but for some reason in this moment, it feels completely different, like shockwaves through my body. I slightly lean into his hand, praying that he keeps it there for just one more moment. As I open my eyes I see him staring at my lips and then his eyes are back on mine. I bite my lower lip, trying to resist the urge to lean in and kiss him, but before I know it he's pulling my head to his and pressing his mouth to mine.

This is unlike any other kiss I have ever experienced, the power, the want, the passion behind it sends shivers down my spine. I always dreamed that if we kissed it would be amazing, but this literally blows my mind, I am lost in the world of Derek Shepherd, a bomb could explode around us and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't faze me right now.

He licks my lips with the tip of his tongue, begging for better access which I immediately allow. Within seconds the passion between us builds intensely, my hands find their way into his dark curls, while his hand find their way up my shirt and are running the length of my back. My body feels like it's on fire, with every inch that he touches a new flame is ignited.

Hours, it feels like it has been hours since his lips came crashing down on mine, since we entered our own passionate Meredith and Derek world. Then, without a single warning, the ringing of his phone brings us back to the real world. We pull apart, looking into each other's eyes, and for the first time I notice the smile that has spread across his face, the smile that I can't remember the last time I saw, the incredibly happy Derek smile, the smile that melts my heart and makes me want to pin him to the bench beneath us and have my way with him, the smile that makes it seem like he enjoyed that as much as I did.

Then it hits me, what we've done, and his smile fades as he recognizes the look in my eyes, I want to run and he knows it.

"I uh...I should, should go." I stutter as his phone rings again.

"Mer we need to talk about this."

"No..." I say standing up, "we don't, because you're with Addison and you're happy and I," I say shaking my head, "I can't come between that." I fake a smile, hoping that he doesn't see straight through it to my breaking heart.

"Good-bye Derek." I say placing my hand underneath his chin and running my thumb across his lips before turning to walk away.

"Meredith wait..." he pleads, grabbing for my hand.

"You should answer that." I laugh trying to hide my tears, "You know how she gets."

He doesn't say anything just looks back at me, mirroring my saddened expression. I smile one last time, as I begin to walk backwards never taking my eyes off of his. Then it hits me, it's now or never, so even though it breaks my heart even more I turn around and walk away.

I completely break down when I make it to the safety of my car. I had never felt so safe, so loved, as I had a few minutes ago. And now it's over, chances are we will never see each other again, we will be too busy with school to come home over the breaks, we will move on with our lives, come out on top, just like we always have.

Within ten minutes I'm pulling into my driveway, I drag my feet up the stairs, thankful that my mother is not home, because that last thing I want right now is a lecture on how weak crying makes me. I make my way over to the seat beneath my window and lean my head against the wall, sighing as memories of our past flood my mind.

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

When we were seven I used to go and stand at his backdoor and wait for him to come out to play. I never knocked, never rang a doorbell, just waited for hours sometimes, but honestly, I think I would have waited a lifetime for him to come out.

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

There have been hundreds of times that we have run to each other in the middle of the night. We've always been able to comfort each other, no matter what we could count on each other to be there. I was the one he came running to when he decided that he was going to follow in his dad's footsteps and become a neurosurgeon, I was the first one he told that he got into NYU, I've been there for a lot of firsts, I only wish I could be there for all the ones to come, graduating college, getting into med school, saving his first patient, comfort him during his first loss and so many more. That should be me, not some whiny girl who could care less about what's going on in her boyfriend's life.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

We have this mutual understanding of each other. We know what makes the other laugh or cry. What makes them happy or can cheer them up after an awful day. We know each other inside and out.

I'm pulled from my thoughts as I see him riding up the street on his motorcycle. He parks it in his normal spot and hops off, stopping to look up to my window, we don't do anything just look at each other for a moment, then he smiles, not the same smile that I last saw coming from him, no, this one is different, sadder, regretful. Then he's gone, he turns and walks into his house. And I can't help but wonder if he got the same stabbing pain I just did, when I walked away from him earlier.

I move from my spot by the window and decide to take a quick shower hoping that that will make me feel a little better. But apparently I was kidding myself, nothing is going to wash this hurt away anytime soon. I walk back into my room dig through my boxes to find a pair of Derek's sweatpants and one of his old t-shirts that somehow became mine over the years.

I look around my packed up room, I'm not really sad that I'm leaving this place, which is strange considering I've spent the majority of my life in this room. But tomorrow I get a new start on life, a life away from my mother, a life that suddenly I'm not so much looking forward too.

I make my way back downstairs to the kitchen, though I'm not really sure why I'm in here, I don't have an appetite, honestly if I ate something right now I would probably throw it up, so I reach in the refrigerator and grab a can of ginger ale.

I sigh and roll my eyes as I hear the doorbell ring, the last thing I want to do right now is have to talk to someone. I stay in the kitchen hoping that it's just the UPS man dropping something off, but seconds later the ringing reaches my ears again. I push myself off the counter, grab my drink and head to door.

"Derek..." I say, shocked that he is standing on my front door step.

"Not feeling well?" he asks, laughing slightly as he eyes the ginger ale can in my hand. I'm pretty sure that he is the only one that knows I drink ginger ale when I feel sick. "Can I come in?" he asks, I sense a hint of nervousness in his voice, which is very un-Derek like.

"Uh...yea, sure." I say as I open the door more and let him in, still a little shocked that he is standing before me. I was pretty sure that he would be out with Addison right now or friends, anywhere but standing in my living room.

"You know I've been looking for those sweatpants for a long time, I was sure that I lost them, but I feel better now that I know they are in safe hands." He winks at me as he moves past me to the kitchen.

I stand in the living room with the front door still open for another minute. I shake my head and slowly enter the kitchen, pushing myself up onto the counter as I watch him grab a drink out of the fridge. He turns around and leans against the counter opposite me crossing his arms, and right now there is nothing I would rather do then jump off and kiss him.

"So..." he says smoothly, while keeping direct eye contact with me.

"So, I figured you would be out with Addison right now." I say, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Yea I uh," he pushes himself off the counter and begins walking towards me, "I called her," he says as he approached me placing both hands on either side of my legs, "after the uh," I watch as he eyes my body starting at my knees and moving up my body until his eyes reach my lips, "kiss."

"You didn't tell her about the kiss did you?" I saying my voice filling with panic, I try to push my way out of his space, but his strong body blocks me, "I mean Derek, she already hates my guts as is, you tell her about that and I'm sure she will pay somebody to kill me. You...you can't tell anyone."

"Do you regret it?" he asks in a soothing voice, one that he knows if he uses I will tell him anything and everything.

"What?" I ask shockingly, my eyes immediately rising to his, "No, are you kidding me, it was, it was amazing, god Derek, it was truly incredible, but I will not come between you and her, you like her a lot and you're happy and I, I'm me, you could never be happy with me, I've known that from day one...you should go to her Derek, I'm sure she would really like to see you right now and you know I gotta finish packing and..." I'm interrupted as he places his hands on either side of my face and then gently kisses me on the mouth, nothing as heated and passionate as before, but more romantic, something I could imagine myself doing the rest of my life.

"Derek..." I whisper as he pulls away and touches his forehead to mine.

"I broke up with her Mer."

"You what! Derek," I pull my head away from his, "you cannot ruin your future with her because of one kiss, you two are..." I pause not wanting to say what I know I need to say.

"Yea Addie and I are good together, but Mer," he places his hand underneath my chin, "you and I are amazing together, you are the one person who is constantly on my mind, I always want to come to you, so you will be the first one to know everything. And that kiss," he pauses as his thumb traces my lower lip and that smile that I love spreads across his face, "I have wanted to do that for years."

I am speechless, even if I wanted to speak I'm not sure my brain would be able to form words.

"Mer," he shakes his head and his smile widens even more, "I'm in love with you, I have been since we were six years old, I don't want to spend another day without you. I still want to go and have our fatty days, where we argue over who gets the most unhealthy cake and I want to wake up to you every Sunday and cheat on the crossword puzzles." He slowly pushes a strand of hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear.

Alright now I am totally speechless, my brain has no functioning what so ever.

"Der..." is all I manage to get out before his finger finds my lips to quiet me.

"Just listen for a second. I've been thinking a lot about this, and it's like a five hour drive between schools, so once or twice a month we can drive to see each other, spend the weekend together, and who knows maybe I will end up hating New York and transfer to you in the fall. But we can do this Meredith, I love you, I want this to work, I will do anything to make this work." He paused looking me straight in the eyes with a very confident look, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you Meredith Grey."

I stay quiet for a few moments, soaking in all that has just been told to me, did he really say he just wanted to spend the rest of his life with me?

"Mer, say something, please." He pleads with me with his eyes.

I stare into his eyes, a huge smile spreading across my face, I watch as his dark eyes turn to the beautiful indigo that I love looking into. I know he knows what I'm thinking because he reads me like a book.

I take both sides of his faces into my hands and gently run my fingers over his cheeks, as I pull his head down to mine, kissing him. Only this kiss is so much different from the one we shared only a few hours ago, this kiss is full of love, of promises, of the future.

"I love you too."

"Yea?" a huge smile crosses his face

"Yea." I shriek as he grabs my sides and lifts me up, I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist as he twirls us around the kitchen.

He stops in the middle of the room and for a moment, we do nothing but hold on to each other. I close my eyes and breathe in his scent, the scent that is always able to relax me.

"God, I love you." He says as his hand finds my golden curls, "I love you so much." As I feel him press his lips to my neck.

Right now I'm convinced that this is all a dream, that I am going to wake up any second and life is going to go back to how it was at the start of my day. Any moment I'm expecting us to say our goodbyes and him move on with his life with Addison in New York. But after ten minutes of being held in his arms, I am coming to realize that this is all real. I am in love with Derek Shepherd and he knows it and best of all he's in love with me too.

Maybe you should act on those feelings, dive in to the great unknown, because who knows, your first crush might turn out to be the love of your life.

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?

AN: This was just a little one shot that has been in my head since the first time I heard this song, and I just finally decided to write it, hope you liked it...reviews make my day!!!