A/N: First attempt at writing a Kyddshaw one shot story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea.

She was back where it all started; she stood in the middle of the empty hallway thinking back to how this was something she used to be so familiar with. Three years ago she used to walk down this hallway usually with her friends in tow and her on again off again boyfriend at her side. Sebastian Kydd the rich boy with long blonde hair and blue eyes was the most sought after boy while they went to school and she was lucky to call him her boyfriend. It didn't work out in the end though. Maybe it was because they always put their relationship on the side for her job which was actually only an internship at Interview magazine. Or maybe it was because he kissed her best friend and deep down it still hurt her. Although the most reasonable explanation was they had different goals and aspirations in life. He chased after the warm weather and morning rising tides of the ocean while she chased after the bitter cold air and the never ending commotion of Manhattan at her fingertips.

She stared at the her old locker wondering how she got here. How did three years of her life fly by so fast? Her baby sister, Dorrit was now graduating high school and chasing after college at Brown University. Their dad was proud and also shocked at how Dorrit secretly was a great student. She was over her rebellion stage and even though she no longer wore so much eye-liner; she still knew how to annoy Carrie. Carrie would often visit Dorrit and check up on her after she moved to the city. Their relationship had blossomed into one where they were more like best friends instead of sisters.

Carrie's dad had a hard time adjusting to her life in Manhattan at first, but after the second year he had grown into accepting her becoming an adult. Tom honestly didn't know what he was going to do when Dorrit will leave for college in the fall, maybe he will move somewhere warm and retire. He has realized his kids no longer need him to guide them through life anymore, because they are no longer his little girls anymore they are now young ladies.

Carrie had learned how to live on here own, and she loved Manhattan, but she secretly missed high school. She missed having no responsibilities, she missed her friends especially now because she lost touch with Mouse and Maggie, but more than ever she missed Sebastian. She hated how they ended things, and she wished he would have stayed with her, but he had dreams too.

"You miss it too, don't you?" She heard a familiar voice snap her out of her thoughts.

As she turned around she saw Walt; one of her best guy friends had been standing behind her. He was wearing a blue polo shirt and dark blue jeans and he had his hair slicked back. She almost forgot how she asked him to come with her.

"Yes, but I think I miss the people more than actually being in high school." She told him what had been on her mind.

"I miss them too, but Carrie you have to move on." He said in a soft gentle voice, because he didn't want to push her too hard. He saw how broken she was after Sebastian left, and he heard her muffled cries seeping into his room through the thin wall.

"What if I can't?" She asked him. "What if I made a mistake?"

"You will move on, and the only mistake you made was holding on for so long," He said as he reached in his back pocket and pulled out a torn opened envelope. "I am sorry I kept this from you, but I didn't want you to make the same mistake again. You deserve to be happy and to live your dreams."

She ripped the envelope from his hands and started to read the letter she never received.

Dear Carrie,

I don't know where to start, but how are you? I hope you are doing well. I love living in California it was the best decision I have ever made, but also the worst because I didn't fight for you. I know your dream was to move to the City, but I secretly wished you would have asked me to stay there with you. You probably have found a new guy to love, but I promise I won't ever stop loving you. I hope all your dreams come true, but if you miss me…then ask me to come home.

Love,

Sebastian.

Carrie couldn't believe Walt would keep something like this from her. He knew how much she loved Sebastian and how awful she felt about their breakup. She stood there speechless. "How could you keep this from me?" Her words finally came back to her and they were angry.

"I am sorry…" Walt paused trying to find the correct words, because he didn't do this out of spite he did it out of concern and love. "I was protecting you from getting hurt again…I know you love him but Carrie he doesn't love you. At least not how you should be loved by someone."

"If he doesn't love me then why would he send me this letter?" She asked because Walt didn't know anything about Sebastian at least not when it comes to wether he loves her or not.

Walt was cautious as he walked up to Carrie and held his best friend close to him. He knew what he was about to say next would crush her. "Because if he loved you, he wouldn't have left in the first place. He would have stayed, Carrie."

She lost it right there in Walt's arms, because he was right. He was always right. If Sebastian truly loved her then he wouldn't have left. He would have stayed with her. Even if he did go to California he should have had come back and told her his feelings. Instead he sent her one letter. She cried into his chest until the tears no longer came. Walt had always been such a great friend. He was always there for her.

"Thank you for showing me the letter," She stepped away from him and wiped her finger along her waterline. "You are great friend and I am sorry I yelled at you."

"I actually came in to tell you, Dorrit and your dad are taking pictures outside and they want you to join." He told her his real mission.

"Can you tell them I will be out in five minutes?" Carrie begged. "I have to fix my makeup now."

"Of course."

After he left she walked towards the girls bathroom and reapplied her eye makeup. She didn't want to look like a mess on Dorrit's special day. She was incredibly proud of her younger sister. Dorrit had come a long way in three years, and sometimes she was envious of Dorrit's journey. It seemed like their mother's death no longer anchored down Dorrit and she seemed extremely happy with life. While Carrie still struggled with accepting their mother's passing and her life in the City was often a mess. They had always been polar opposites but now they seemed to have common ground. They built a great friendship and Carrie was glad they could finally get along. She knew their mother would be so proud of them.

Carrie walked past the lockers but stopped immediately at his old locker. A sigh escaped her as she remembered the smile he would always send her way when he was standing at his locker. She loved his smile. She loved his laugh. She loved his sense of freedom. She loved everything about him. If only they could have fought to stay together, but their dreams were more important than their own relationship.

It also didn't help how he kissed her best friend…well technically Maggie kissed him. It also didn't help how she lost her virginity to Adam Weaver instead of him. Adam was great and different, but he was nothing like Sebastian.

Lost in her own world, Carrie bumped into someone since she was day-dreaming. "Sorry," She apologized to the person.

"Bradshaw, you should really watch who you bump into." The voice that haunted her for the last three years was now speaking to her.

"Sebastian, what are you doing here?" She looked up at him with confusion.

He didn't answer her at first, because he honestly didn't know what brought him back here. He just knew he had to see her. He gambled on her being here today for her sister's graduation. "I needed a break from California." It was a lie, but she didn't have to know the truth.

"How are you?" She mentally kicked herself for asking such a stupid question.

"I am good and you?"

"I am good as well…" She lied, because she wasn't doing so great. She was balancing two jobs trying to make ends meet and also she was desperately trying to have a social life. Walt told her it would be good for her if she went out and meet new people. Since she only really knew him, Larissa, and Samantha. "Listen, it is great seeing you but my dad and Dorrit are waiting for me to take pictures with them."

"Of course they are…" He mumbled. "It was good seeing you and I hope you achieve all of your dreams."

"Goodbye Sebastian."

"Why didn't you write back?" The words left his mouth before he could stop them. She was so close to walking out of the doors and out of his life once again but his heart had to know why she didn't write.

"Walt kept your letter from me," She turned back towards him and told him everything on her mind. "He did it to protect me, because he listened to my cries every night. He knew how awful I felt about our breakup. I only read your letter today but it is too late now. We can't turn back time."

"Carrie I love you, come to California with me?" He begged her to choose him.

It was in this moment she realized Sebastian didn't love her. At least not in the way a man should love a woman. A man should allow his significant other to chase after dreams without trying to stand in the way. Sebastian never understood her dreams. He never understood why she belonged in the City and not in Malibu. They were polar opposites, but they didn't attract.

"I hate California-"

"You have never been there," He interrupted her. "It is beautiful and warm and carefree. I know you will love it there so come with me."

"I admit I hate the cold but," She closed the space between them. "I love chaotic life the City brings. I love how you can order Chinese takeout at three am. I love being able to walk everywhere. I love the people and I love the fashion. I belong in Manhattan and you belong in California. I will always love you but I can't go with you, because I wouldn't be happy…and I deserve to be happy."

She gently pressed her warms lips against him and gave him one last goodbye kiss. "You will always hold a special place in my heart, but I have to be alone right now." She said as she pulled away from him.

"I will always love you too," He said as gave he a kiss on her forehead. "I am sorry that I can't give up my dreams for you. I won't ask you anymore to give up yours for me. You will do great things in the future and I am sure of it. I guess this is a goodbye."

"Goodbye."

It was such a final word, but Carrie knew she was doing the right thing. One day she would find love again, but right now she is focused on her own dreams and it is a wonderful new start.