AUTHOR'S NOTES:
This was my 2012 Deflower Draco Fic Exchange (deflower-draco . livejournal . com) entry. The fest is over and reveals are out, so now I can post this for you here. This fanfic is a one-shot and is finished.
Working from Prompt : #43 - "If you ask me to, I will." "I'm just thinking of the right words to say." Ship: HP Female/Draco.
Another huge thank you goes out to my beta, Ladysashi. Thank you to the Deflower-Draco Fest Mod for running this wonderful fest a second time! I was thrilled to participate this year as well. :)
DISCLAIMER:"Harry Potter" is the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. This fanfiction was written entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended.
TIMELINE: Hogwarts Era, 7th year, A/U (1998 - Voldemort was not resurrected, no war, blood prejudice still exists)
MAIN CHARACTERS FEATURED (alphabetical order, last name): Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy
SECONDARY CHARACTERS FEATURES (alphabetical order, last name): Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson
SUMMARY: To love in this life is to do so in small, powerful moments. Draco's about to learn that lesson at the hands of the one witch he's wanted for years… and he'll lose not only his virginity in the doing, but his heart as well.
RATING: NC-17 (MA)
WARNINGS: Explicit heterosexual sexual situations (oral sex, intercourse-loss of virginity), Explicit profanity, Angst, Characters OOC, and Sad Ending
ADDITIONAL NOTES: Yes, Royal Mail rubber bands are Muggle inventions, but I would assume that Draco would know what they were, since they're almost literally everywhere in England.
SMALL, BUT POWERFUL MOMENTS
BY RZZMG
}-.*.-{}-.*.-{}-.*.-{
I have wondered from the time I crawled
what it was like
to want something more
than my next breath.
I have searched the years
for such a treasure,
reading between the white page
and the black text,
to no avail.
I have looked into the heavens
for my future in the light of dying stars,
and seen only cold brilliance.
Then, to my surprise,
my dream appeared before me
covered in flesh,
with impassioned blood,
and with stormy gaze,
and I found an answer at last to my life's purpose:
yes, my darling,
if you ask me to,
I will.
}-.*.-{}-.*.-{}-.*.-{
Who knew a simple note could make his heart race out of control and cause his hands to shake?
But then, pulling emotions out of him and forcing him to feel them had always been her best talent. She weakened him... and she gave him hope.
Draco re-read the letter two more times in succession.
Such neat penmanship, he thought, with its precise angles and its well-practiced loops. The handwriting was polished, acutely feminine, and conscientious to detail – all the aspects he'd expect from someone like her. And the poem… well, it was beautiful in a way that only she could pull off.
And there it was again in black and white: she was finally relenting.
It had taken two months to get her to agree to take this risk and offer up her virginity to him, but his carefully crafted patience it seemed was about to pay off. He was at last going to get the chance to have all of her...
...and just in time, too. The term was almost finished. Graduation was right around the corner. And every day took him one step closer to the stamping out of his freedom. The future he'd once aspired to realise with sweet anticipation for most of his teenage years now smothered him with its expectations, shackling him to the prospect of a lifetime of unhappy moments.
If only there was another way!
No, Theo had been right, when he'd asked his friend's advice on the issue: it was best not to hope for the impossible. Better instead to spend the time contemplating tonight, when he finally got his witch alone again. He would start off slow by holding her first, and kissing her until her mouth was swollen and red. Then...
He went iron-hard in his trousers just thinking about it, but didn't dare look up and over at his girl. They'd agreed never to let any of her friends know what they'd been up to since the end of March, when they'd begun their "clandestine affair," as she referred to it, so maintaining the illusion of disinterest in anything having to do with her was part of the end game.
Draco folded the note and tucked it between some random pages in his Transfiguration textbook. Although N.E.W.T.s had come and gone a week ago, McGonagall insisted on continuing their instruction until school officially ended in another two days - and she'd made it very clear that anyone not interested in learning what she had to teach might very well end up with a 'T' for their final grade in her class, regardless of their N.E.W.T. score.
When the old bird walked in, the class went silent and every eye turned towards the blackboard, where the Professor had magicked a piece of white chalk to begin writing up the day's lesson notes.
Every eye but Draco's that was... He turned towards his witch sitting two rows up and over from him. She was sitting next to Daphne Greengrass today, her quill scribbling with furious haste over her parchment.
Salazar's bane, but he couldn't wait to see her later during their final rounds later! He'd been saving himself for years for the perfect witch, and now that she'd offered to be his, they were finally going to settle things between them once and for all. Tonight, he was finally going to lose his virginity… to her.
}-.*.-{}-.*.-{}-.*.-{
Her soft gasp and hot, panting breath spilled across the collar of his shirt, giving him a case of the shivers. As he sucked hard against the pulse in her throat, she let her head go loose and gave him full access. Her arms tightened around him, drawing him in closer.
"God, Draco," she murmured, and his name rolling across her tongue was an aphrodisiac to his senses. He grew as taut as a steel bar in his trousers, and his hips rocked against hers with clear intent, letting her feel what it was she did to him.
Pulling his mouth from her flesh, he breathed into her ear, "Did you mean it? The note, did you mean it?"
He felt her throat convulse on a nervous swallow, but her voice held firm when she answered, "Yes."
Pulling back, he drew her satin House tie from around her neck where he'd earlier unknotted it, and set it aside. Working the buttons down the front of her shirt, he bared her lovely cleavage. Tonight, it was contained in a pastel blue satin bra that pressed her breasts together and pushed them up. They nearly spilled over the lacy edging.
His mouth watered at the sight. He loved her tits. They were perfectly formed, a nice handful, with rosy-beige nipples that were the size of Galleons, and superbly sensitive to his touch. "Good," he purred in sensual triumph, yanking her bra down and cupping the flesh that spilled out. "Then, I'm officially asking: will you be my first?"
She nodded without hesitation. "Will you be mine?" she whispered, staring him in the eye.
Draco licked his lips. "Hell, yes."
Capturing her mouth again, he kissed her until he nearly ran out of breath, enjoying the sparring of their tongues. Rolling her nipples between his forefingers and thumbs, he swallowed her gasping cries with growing eagerness.
Leaning back on the palms of her hands, his secret lover threw her head back as he ran his mouth down her chin, over the column of her throat, and further until his lips met a plump, juicy nipple. Wrapping tight around the extended bud, he sucked it as hard as he could. His witch bucked against him, her moan loud in the high-vaulted chamber, her hips pressing against his erection.
He teased her nips until they were red and sore, and she was undulating her pelvis in an instinctual rhythm, letting him know she was ready for more.
Shit got serious then.
"Unbutton my shirt," he instructed her, flipping her skirt up and rubbing the damp seam of her knickers.
With shaky fingers, she did as Draco bade, and then she slipped his dress shirt off his shoulders. It got caught up at his elbows, so he left it there, as his attention was fixated at sliding her panties off her hips. "Lift up." She complied, leaning first one way then the other, until he had the matching blue cotton fabric down her thighs, past her knees, and then off one ankle. He left it there dangling from her foot and she kicked it off and to the side as he dropped his gaze to her core.
She was bare there. Completely fucking shaved.
The thing between his legs gave a hard jerk.
"Nice," he grinned, caressing over the dewy, bared folds. "You do this for me?"
Shuddering as he came into contact with her soft skin, letting his fingers slide in and out of her moist sex, she nodded. "You said you liked it trimmed last time, so..." She left the thought unfinished, as he slipped a single finger inside her and pumped back and forth, nice and slow.
Leaning forward, he captured her mouth again. "My secretly naughty girl," he praised. "Keep it like this always."
"Okay." She was breathless as he rubbed his thumb back and forth against her clit.
Stones, she was so wet and soft inside! Her sleek muscles drew his finger in, clasping around it, eager for the real deal. He'd gotten her off this way plenty of times before, but tonight, he wanted to taste her, too. Then he wanted to fuck this pretty cunt, as slow and as thoroughly as he was fingering it now.
Withdrawing his hand, he gripped her hips and knelt in front of her. Jesus, she was glossy with her arousal and so pink all over, and her scent was intoxicating. He had to know what it was like. No more waiting. Lowering his head, he dove between her thighs, eager to finally taste pussy.
One solid, broad lick up her centre had him nearly coming in his pants. The skin was velvety smooth, and the flavour divine. There was nothing like it in the whole world to compare to... and he knew he wanted more of it across his tongue and down his throat. Immediately.
No wonder Zabini went on and on about going down on girls. Mate was on to something!
Her hand shot out and tangled in his hair, urging him to do it again. He followed through, licking her with the flat of his tongue like an ice cream cone. When he'd gotten that technique down pat, he began to experiment with others, learning how a flick against the tiny flap of skin at the top made her cry out, and how light tickling and tracing the hole at the bottom made her thighs quiver. When he thrust his tongue inside her quim, fucking her with it, and caressed circles around her swollen nub of flesh above, she lost the last of her control, coming on his face.
It was abso-fucking-amazing feeling her muscles inside squeeze around his tongue. The rush of warm liquid that followed was so sweet and delicious, and he lapped it all up, smearing it across his lips, cheeks, and chin until they were sticky and gleaming with her release. Hearing her call his name in that moment made his ego shoot through the roof, too. No matter what tomorrow brought, now she'd never be able to forget that he'd been the first man to eat her out, and that he'd made her come on the first try. Every other guy who did this to her afterwards, and for the rest of her life, would be compared to him and this moment.
Strangely, the thought of someone else touching her like this made his chest go all Royal Mail rubber-band tight and his back teeth lock.
Her fingernails lightly scraped his scalp as they ran through his hair. He looked up into her face to note that her eyes were glowing with contentment in the intimate lighting provided by the single candle he'd lit upon their entering the dark, silent Divination Tower earlier.
She was biting her bottom lip again, a sure sign that she was about to ask him something that might scandalize him. Shocking the shite out of him was one of her many talents, and one of the reasons he'd found himself so enticed by her to begin with.
"My turn?" she asked, letting her eyes drop to his crotch.
Yep, shocking.
In the two months they'd been sneaking around the castle and Hogsmeade for stolen moments filled with lusty cries and greedy, grasping hands, the most he'd been able to get her to agree to do after touching his cock was lick her fingers clean once he'd gotten off. It seemed tonight would be filled with more 'firsts' for both of them.
Not surprising, considering she'd given him all of hers so far, and vice-versa. First kiss. First grope. First nipple sucking. First orgasms. First wank/frig. Why not add first oral experience for both of them to go along with the sex to come?
He stood up, unbuckling his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his trousers, and letting them drop to the floor. Shuffling forward, he put his pelvis in line with her mouth.
"Take me out."
She'd gone this far before, so neither of them were too nervous as she slipped her fingers under the band of his pants and slipped them down, letting them fall past his knees. His fully erect length came into view, aimed at her lips. Grasping it with the correct pressure, she began stroking him up and down just as they'd practiced together many a time in recent weeks. Her other hand reached between his legs and cupped his bollocks, rolling them as he liked.
"Ah, gods, yeah," Draco murmured, closing his eyes and kicking his head back, enjoying the sensation of her tiny, but strong fingers massaging him to the perfect tempo and with the right amount of pressure. She'd gotten so good at this, and she'd genuinely seemed to enjoy doing it to him, too, reaching down his trousers at every opportunity to caress and rub him until he orgasmed all over her hand.
He hated to admit it, but she owned his cock and balls. They were hers every time she so much as glanced their way, growing hard and tight for her at a verbal-less command in her eye. Now, his tip was weeping rivers of pre-come for her so she could polish him from tip to base, and his sac was so hard and full to bursting that it throbbed harder than ever before. It was as if they'd been anticipating this moment since the onset of puberty, waiting for the touch of her tongue, and the suck of her lips.
When she leaned forward and began kissing the tip, first with closed mouth, then open, his thighs trembled. She experimented, licking and suckling the tip, pulling it into her mouth deeper, learning how to relax her jaw and swallow more of him.
He tried to hold out, but the sight of her sucking his cock – his greatest fantasy for weeks – was too much. He was slipping down the slope and diving off the edge in only a few small thrusts of his hips. Gripping her hair to pull her down on him, he came, spurting hot, creamy waves of ecstasy into her mouth. To his mortification, he grunted her name aloud, even as his spine snapped nearly in half from the pleasure.
It was only in the aftermath, as he staggered a few steps to the pile of pillows he'd set down earlier and fell back into them, legs tangled by his clothing, that he realised how thorough she'd been in assuring he'd received the full experience. There wasn't a drop spilled, and his now soft cock had been licked clean. She'd swallowed every bit he'd put out.
"Come here," he panted, holding his arms out to her.
She stood up, removed the remainder of her clothing, and crawled over him completely naked to lie in his arms.
"Thank you," he rasped against her temple, kissing it. "That was... stones, it was... I'm just thinking of the right words to say... bloody amazing, although that doesn't come close enough."
"Me, too," she confessed in a whisper, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "I liked doing it. You... taste good."
Weakly, he chuckled. "You, too."
They lay like that for a long while, recovering, enjoying the quiet. He was aware of every beat of his heart, the vanilla scent of her hair product, and the way she felt against him. He was aware of how good it all felt.
Yeah, he'd picked the right girl for these experiences… he only wished he could keep her. Like, forever.
}-.*.-{}-.*.-{}-.*.-{
No words needed to be said when he reached between her legs sometime later and began stroking her arousal back up. Sexual tension coiled deep in his belly as he touched her, and he went instantly hard again, ready for round two.
She moaned, adjusting in his arms so that their mouths met. "Now," she whispered as her body went slick and she straddled him.
Heart pounding again, he gripped his prick in his palm, angled it up towards her, and looked down between them to make sure he fit them together correctly. It slipped off a few times, as his aim wasn't sure, but he eventually angled it back to the correct place and held it firm as she wiggled so that his crown pushed against her opening.
This was it. It was finally happening!
Achingly slow, she began to sit upon him, and – oh, FUCK! – it was even better than he'd imagined. So tight, so hot, so wet! He felt constricted in a way that begged for him to shove harder and go deeper, but by reminding himself that he wanted it slow so he could savour this moment forever, he forced his hips still and let her do all the work. He gripped her waist instead and watched her take him.
With a gasp of pain, she paused.
He glanced up at her face in alarm.
"It's okay," she said, biting her bottom lip. Her brows were drawn in concentration, her long, curly hair falling forward against her cheeks. "Give me a second."
Draco nodded, knowing from talk around the dorms that it hurt for a girl the first time, and that she was obviously working through the pain. "All the time you need," he promised, hoping he'd be able to keep that vow, as now it was beginning to feel really too good for words.
She slid down him a bit more and he felt it then, that push against resisting muscles and the extra warmth signalling her hymen had torn. She whimpered, and then in a rushing exhalation of breath, she kept moving until she was finally seated upon him, their pelvises married, and he was all the way inside.
Shite, it felt incredible. Knowing he was lodged deep within this girl's body, where no one else had been before, and that she'd taken every inch of him within her tight, sweet kitty... He groaned, fighting off his body's natural inclinations to begin moving, waiting for her to signal that her pain was eased.
"Okay?" he asked between clenched teeth, gliding his hands up and down her waist and hips, over her thighs, trying to relax her.
Peeking through her lids, she stared at him with dark, passion-glazed eyes. "You feel good," she admitted in a soft voice. "It hurts, but... I feel all of you. I'm so... full with you."
"Gods, yes," he said, trying to control his instinctual need to move. "It's... so good. You're... perfect." Reaching up, he cupped the back of her neck and pulled her mouth down to his, wanting to push his feelings into her, unable to articulate them in a way that felt right.
Her mouth was gentle and accommodating.
"I'm glad I waited for you," she confessed, pulling her hips up.
Sliding back out of her was as heavenly as going in had been. His hands found purchase on her waist as she pulled her hips up. "Me, too," he admitted, watching his bloodstained, glistening length withdraw from the depths of her body... only to sink back in as she came back down on him. "Oh fuck… me, too."
It took some patience and adjustment on both their parts, but they soon found a rhythm that worked for them. Surprisingly, Draco had been able to last a rather long time for his first time out of the gate. He attributed that luck to the fact that he'd already come once in a very satisfying manner just before this, and that they repeatedly paused during their love making as they tried different positions, resetting the moment and pushing him back from the edge time and time again.
He fucked her until his cock was sore, and she was hot and swollen inside. They did it with her on top for a long while, and then he flipped over and took her standard Missionary. When they decided a switch was needed again, he lifted off of her and came into her at a hard angle from above, bunching her knees up and folding her nearly in half. With reckless pistoning, in moments he was at the point of no return.
With a roar, he let go of his control, orgasming into her heated, wet depths in a rush of explosive energy that utterly drained him. "Oh, God," he murmured, catching his weight on his palms as he collapsed over her. "Oh, fuck. Shite... that was... bloody brilliant," he panted, struggling to catch his breath, even as he continued to release in small jerks, still buried so deep in her.
It took him several minutes to regain not only power over his body, but also over his sanity... and another minute or two after that to realise she hadn't climaxed.
"You didn't-?"
She reached up and cupped his cheek, smoothing trembling, ink-stained fingers over his skin. "Most girls don't their first time," she kindly explained, saving his ego and covering her embarrassment in one fell-swoop.
Fuck. That.
He was soft and exhausted as he pulled out of her, but his mouth still worked. Shimmying down her body, he put his upper lips to her lower ones and got busy making sure his witch was good and pleasured. No way would she ever think of her first time as mediocre. She was going to walk away from tonight floating on air for the rest of the term... and after, well, she'd move on. But she'd never forget him or this night. He'd make sure of it.
Ignoring how that last thought depressed him, he went down on her, sucking, lapping, and kissing every inch of her sex. He did her pussy good, fucking into it and tasting their combined essences, licking away the salty residual from her broken cherry, and teasing her tiny clit with his nose and the tip of his tongue. Her small mewls of pleasure in no time became loud gasps and moans.
Her fingers twining through his platinum strands, she pulled, grasped, and kept him close to the heart of her so he could work his magic. He ate at her for a good half an hour or more, enjoying the scent of her, the flavour of her, and the sounds he elicited from her, revelling in owning her in this small way. He filed it away within the vaults of his mind, knowing he'd rely upon these memories over the coming months and years for the happiness they could provide.
To his surprise, he was hard again, his youthful body restored after a brief rest, and his libido rearing to go. Reaching between his legs, he stroked over his sensitive length, slicking it up in preparation for another go.
Right as she began to orgasm against his tongue, he reared up and slammed home inside her soft, milking cunt. Undulating waves rolled over every inch of his prick as her insides contracted, and a rush of wet heat covered him from tip to base. She gasped his name again and dug her fingers into his biceps. The sharp pain of her nails breaking skin made need shoot through his guts and pulled a groan from his throat.
Bloody hell, but feeling her come around him was... it was a fucking religious experience.
As soon as her pulses faded, he established a slow rocking rhythm, wanting to prolong the experience this time, knowing it would be their last time making love.
"Okay?" he whispered, wanting to assure her comfort.
Cheeks rosy-coloured, eyes shiny with satiation, she nodded. "More than okay," she promised him, raising her hips to meet his downward thrusts.
They didn't speak for a long time after that, simply absorbing the moment, lost in each other's eyes. They kissed, pulled back to look down between them, and watched their bodies move apart only to come back together over and over again in communion.
"Can you... again?" he asked, feeling that edge returning, building.
"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I'm a bit too sore."
He paused. "Should I stop?"
She ran her hands over the bones of his collar, wrapped around his throat, and then eased them further to tease the nape of his neck. "No, don't stop. I want to watch you. I want to know your part."
Stones, this witch was amazing. She was his... everything.
He really, really wanted to keep her. Founders knew he was tempted to do just that, and to fly with his inheritance and his family's traditions. But the contract was already signed, and it would disgrace not only his family, but Pansy as well if he were to set her aside, especially for a Muggle-born witch with no title or wealth.
"Don't," she gently admonished him, soothing a finger over his furrowed brows. "Don't go there. Stay here with me right now. Be with only me in this moment."
Her honey-brown eyes swam with tears, and in them, Draco finally saw the truth: she knew all about his arranged marriage to Parkinson. She knew that this was a one-time thing, and that after tonight, he would let her go and never touch her again.
She knew... and she'd still let it happen.
As if a Blasting Charm had gone off in his grey-matter, he suddenly understood the reason why as well. "You love me, don't you?" he asked, his voice rasping with emotion.
Her sad smile broke his heart in two.
God, how could he let her go after this?
He kissed her again, throwing everything he had into her mouth, and sped up the action below. Pressing a hand between them, he strummed her clit as he thrust deep and with feeling into her.
"I'd give anything not to graduate... to stay right here in you forever," he confessed between pulls of lips and thrusts of his hips.
"Me, too."
She came an instant before him, her straining, tender body reaching its peak one final time at his behest. As his seed poured out of him and into her, he held her tight and kissed her hard... and prayed for the impossible.
}-.*.-{}-.*.-{}-.*.-{
In the two days following their incredible night together, Draco did not see his witch again. He'd looked high and low, visiting all of her usual haunts and peeking into the ones they'd secretly christened as their own over the last two months, but it seemed that she was either keeping herself too busy or too well hidden for him to find.
It wasn't until the morning of graduation, as she stood upon the podium next to him to deliver the Head Girl's Farewell Address to the class that he had a chance to look upon her again.
She seemed tired and sad, but she looked beautiful, with the sun glinting through her dark amber-brown curls. He stared at her through the entire ceremony, barely remembering any of the speeches – even his own as Head Boy, which he read verbatim from a rolled parchment he'd prepared in advance of today.
When Dumbledore stood before them and pronounced them alumni of the school at long last, great cheers went up from the crowd. Draco clapped along with them, but there was no joy in any of it for him. That feeling had been lost the moment they'd parted on the Grand Staircase that night after making love, he going down to the dungeons, she heading up to her tower.
God, it was really over, wasn't it? He'd never have this moment again, would he? He'd never have her.
When she raised her gaze to his at long last, there was a resigned acceptance in his witch's features. She stepped towards him, and his heart began to pound, and his hands began to shake…
…and she glided past without a word.
Something was pressed into the palm of his hand as she moved on by. He glanced down at it. There lingered a soothing, residual warmth on the crisp, folded slip of paper, telling him that she'd been holding onto it for a long while, perhaps even throughout the ceremony.
Turning his back on the crowd, Draco quickly opened the note and read it.
We live in small, but powerful moments;
in our feelings,
our thoughts,
and our deeds.
Sadly, such things are fleeting,
and we are left with only memories...
and the aftermath.
My love,
I will hold onto our small, but powerful hours together,
with all my might,
and to the end of my days.
I will cherish their repercussions
until this life is at last done with me,
without regret,
and with only affection in my heart.
For them.
For you.
For always.
God, it was the best of the lot, beautiful and haunting... like she was.
He'd add this last poem to the custom-made, Bloodwood keepsake box Granger had given him for an early birthday gift, where he housed all the others. It would remain stashed at the bottom of his school trunk until someday, when he was braver, he could bear to take them out and read them all again.
But that wouldn't happen anytime soon. Not until he'd truly gotten over her. Which would happen right about...
...never.
As he refolded the note and slipped it into the left breast pocket of his dress robes, Draco hastily dashed the tears from his cheeks. Malfoys didn't cry in public; it was too pussy a thing to do, and no good would come of it anyway.
It was over.
Done.
Time to face his future...
Straightening his shoulders, he turned and made his way down from the stage to where his parents and Pansy were casually approaching. The witch he was betrothed to was happily nattering away at his mother's side, his mother was politely pretending to listen and care to what the dark-haired girl had to say, and his father... his father met his gaze with pride at long last.
Draco's eyes were drawn to the engagement ring given from the Malfoy Lord to the Parkinson patriarch upon the signing of the marriage accords, a gift by proxy, attached to his name. Its huge, clear diamond glittered in the mid-morning sun upon his fiancée's left hand. Its brilliance caught his eye, and in that small, but powerful moment, he saw nothing in its cold heart but dying stars.
~FIN~
Author's Notes:
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