To Be Torn

"I know you don't believe me, but I'm sorry that I failed to be torn"

I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, trying hard to fight the tears that burned behind my lids, threatening to fall at any moment. The hard, stone floor was cold beneath my body and the feeling of fear and tension around me was so dense I could practically touch it. I couldn't believe I had been so foolish. I had this terrible habit of doing things by impulse sometimes, without really thinking of the consequences, and when those came back lashing out at me, I instantly regretted my recklessness. However, of all foolish things I had ever done in my entire life, this one had taken its toll.

His voice cut through my skin like a dagger, piercing my flesh until my very core. I never wanted it to be like this. I never meant for it to be like this, but here I was. Cowering on the floor like a child scared of the bogeyman as it haunted her dreams, trying desperately to wake up but never being able to. Because this wasn't a dream. This was real, and that made everything even more scary.

"DAMN YOU!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, collapsing down on the floor a few feet away from me. "CURSE YOU!"

Feeling a wave of sadness and regret flood through me, I looked up from my cowering position on the floor and fixed my eyes on the man that had once been my guardian, my Angel, and that now seemed so hurt and fragile kneeling down beside me. He was just a man. I should've been angry by the fact that he had lied to me and deceived me into believing he was my Angel of Music, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Not when I had hurt him so badly with my foolishness.

"I'm not exactly what you dreamt I would be, am I, Christine?" He said with a sudden tone of anger in his voice. "Look at you… You can't even bear the sight of me! I should have known better."

The venom and hurt in his voice cut through me like a sword. I had tried really hard to stop my tears until that moment, but those words were just too much for me.

"I thought you could have learned to see, to find the man behind the monster and turn your fear into love. But all I see is the disgust in your eyes when you look at my face! Why did you have to do it, Christine?" He kept speaking, almost as if to himself. "Why did you have to reveal this… Repulsive carcass that lies beneath my mask? This creature, this beast, that burns in hell, but… Secretly, just secretly, yearns for heaven and dreams of beauty. Oh Christine… No."

And upon finishing his speech, my former Angel of Music looked away from me, in shame of his apparently hideous appearance. It was only on that moment that I snapped out of my sorrowful trance and noticed that his mask was lying on the floor only a few inches away from me. Everything had happened so fast that I didn't even acknowledge the fact that I had been holding it the whole time, only letting go when I stumbled and fell on the floor.

I took the mask back and observed it for a moment. Its surface was made out of the most precious white porcelain, sculpted to perfection to fit the facial features of the man who wore it. The creator had put so much thought and care into it, that even small details such as the shape of the eyebrow and structure of the cheekbones were thoroughly added into it. It was the work of an artist. A face for a faceless man.

Swallowing up my shame and fear, I carefully moved closer to my Angel, who was still curled up on the floor just like me, and gently handed him the mask. He looked at me for no more than a second, nodding his head in gratitude before turning his back and putting the mask back on. Upon doing that, he immediately got up from the floor and ran his hands through his perfectly sleek, dark hair, recomposing himself from the previous emotional breakdown. If any trace of the hurt, broken man from a moment ago still existed somewhere, it was long gone when he finally turned around to face me.

"Come, we must return." He flatly said, his voice now devoid from any emotion. "Those two fools who run my theater will be missing you."

And with that said, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up from the ground, practically dragging me out of his underground lair. The journey back to my dressing room was cold and silence, and even though my Angel wasn't showing any more apparent signs of anger, I could still feel the tension lingering in the air among us. During the whole path I was trying to think of something to say to try and make things better, but nothing came to my mind. It was like my brain was completely numb after everything that's happened, and was now unable to process any kind of useful information. So I simply remained quiet and allowed him to guide me along the way.

When we finally arrived at my dressing room, he opened the two-sided mirror and let go of my wrist, lightly pushing me forward. I turned around to look at him, hoping to at least apologize for my behavior, but when I faced the full body mirror behind me, he was already gone.

I stood there for a moment, trying to understand the true meaning of that situation and, when I did, all I could do was collapse down on the floor, letting my tears finally flow free. I was never going to see my Angel again. After all this time, he had finally gathered the trust to reveal himself to me, not as an Angel of Music, but as a man, and in a matter of just a few hours, I had ruined everything. I wasn't sure of how my life was going to be now that I didn't have him anymore. I guess you really don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Feeling a sorrow I hadn't experienced in a while now, I got myself up from the ground and painfully made my way to the small bed on the corner of my dressing room, and crumbled down heavily on the mattress. My head was feeling light and my heart heavy. Feeling the weight of the exhaustion floor over my body, I closed my eyes and felt the last lonely tears run down my face before I drifted into a heavy, dreamless sleep with one single image on my mind. A pair of deep, sorrowful golden eyes.

Hello everyone, how're you guys doing? It's been a really long time since I last wrote anything, especially a POTO story! Anyway, this plot has been on my mind forever, and I have started to write it once, but due to an accident on my computer, I lost all files from my old chapters. But, looking at it now, maybe it was a good thing, because now I can experience the magic of writing this story again, even better than before! So, with that said, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and, if you did, please leave me a review telling me everything you have in mind! All feedback is welcome, as long as its done in a nice and constructive way. Alright guys, I'll see you in the next chapter, bye bye!