Humans and Tigers
By Clary and Bunnie
He was a criminal, she was a cop.
He was a human, she was a fairy.
So many things could go wrong with their friendship, according to the Council. But one Artemis Fowl and a Holly Short refused to back down.
"And what makes you think we're going to go along quietly with this?" shouted Holly angrily.
"Well, there's nothing against it in the Book," replied Cahartez with a shrug.
"Chairman, I realize that there is nothing against this in the Book, but what is your basis for separating these people from each other?" Vinyaya asked.
"Easy! He is a human!" screeched the random pixie intern. "He is a danger to the People, a manipulator, a thief, it's written in his kind's history, their genes-"
Holly noticed Artemis twitch briefly. Uh oh, she thought. Just don't screw this up, Mud Boy. Or I will make sure you won't have to regret it. Or rather, can't.
"Please continue, sir," Artemis said calmly. His eyes said otherwise, though. They screamed ice cold fury and revenge. Butler stopped checking under the chairs briefly to glare at the offending pixie. He then resumed the safety check.
The pixie gulped and sat back down. "T-t-that is all, th-th-thanks..." He then proceeded to faint. Literally.
Holly kicked Artemis from under the vole curry-covered table. "What in Frond's name do you think you're doing, Mud Boy?" she hissed angrily.
Artemis stayed silent, hoping she would stop and realize her situation.
"Fowl! Answer me!"
Apparently not. He shot her a warning look. Vinyaya coughed.
"If we could please continue the discussion, Major Short?"
Holly blushed. "Of course, Commander." She gave Artemis a glare, to his surprise.
"Do you have anything to add, Fowl?" Cahartez sighed. "Not that it would matter, but unfortunately, the Book says I am to give you a fair say in-"
"All beings, whether faerie or not
Are to be given a fair say
And to be judged
By all of the lot," Artemis recited. The fairies probably ran out of rhymes in this one, he concluded, but they were bound to at some point in the Book.
Holly elbowed Artemis. Hard. When he turned around and winked, Holly knew he was up to something. What're you up to this time, Mud Boy?
Said Mud Boy turned to Cahartez. "Mr. Cahartez," he started. Cahartez winced at the icy cold tone. You know, the one that would make you think the Arctic waters were warmer, and so on..."May I inquire why you must be so biased? I'm completely positive I've paid back most, if not all, of my debts to your People."
The pixie who had fainted earlier suddenly sat up. "Because Mud Men are insensitive, greedy, annoying, disgusting cowpogs and they-" A/N: This part had to be censored because of the number of fairy insults/swears. Sorry for the inconvenience.
"Well I'd never," huffed the insulted medic-warlock. She proceeded to stab the pixie with the sleep-syringe. Fortunately, this had the desired effect. Too bad she couldn't keep him from snoring, though.
Cahartez coughed. "What the intern was trying to say is that your kind, Fowl, cannot be trusted for whatever reason and no matter how long they have been in contact with the People. You proved that yourself when you manipulated Ms. Short here to- how do I say this?- kiss you."
At this, the then-unconscious pixie woke up. "Oh my freaking Frond-"
The other Council members (excluding Vinyaya) gasped on cue. Holly blushed a deep shade of red. Oh, how Root would've been proud.
Butler opened his mouth to speak, but Artemis stopped him. He breathed in and out, then sighed. His face had nothing but seriousness written all over it. He stood up.
"Don't you think a fairy's reaction to a tiger is the same as a human's to a fairy?" Artemis suggested.
A very intelligent "Eh?" came from the Council members.
"A-a-are you threatening me, Mud Kid?" The pixie backed away slowly, causing the chair to scratch the once pristine, white marble floor.
"No, I'm merely suggesting a metaphor." He looked innocent, but anyone who knew him well could see that evil glint in his eye. "All that I am saying, dear Council, is that maybe after all these years your stereotypes may have expired." A smirk. "You fairies act like we're tigers."
Vinyaya nodded before Cahartez could interrupt. "Please continue," she said. Maybe the Mud Boy had a point. If not, his and Holly's friendship would go down the drain.
"A tiger is willing to attack anything that happens to come too close into its territory, to attack anyone that threatens its cubs. However, the common human misconception is that it is attacking for its own gain. It is often stereotyped as a killer, or a mass murderer, even though technically it has done nothing wrong. It is hunted, even though we now know the truth, because of its instincts and legacy which it has no control over. In retrospect, though. it is innocent."
Artemis smirked again and sat down. A few moments passed while the Council members processed this, then-
"We are nothing like that," protested Cahartez. "How dare you compare us to you Mud Men!"
Even Holly looked scandalized.
"Just saying," Artemis shrugged. He stood up and walked to the door.
"Anyone can achieve their goal through certain methods, so your decision will not be a hindrance to me. Please, go on ahead and decide. But don't say I warned you." He smiled that smile and walked out of the room.
Holly shivered. D'Arvit. She'd never get used to him.
A/N:
Artemis: This is a misconception.
Clary: -.- Now why is that?
Holly: Yeah right Fowl, why is that?
Clary: How cute you two will actually save your friendship.
Artemis and Holly: Never mind.
Bunnie: Okay, I'm going to cut Clary's note there. It gets tediously long when I don't. Really.
So, anyway, how was our first AF fanfic? Not so bad to make you puke, me hopes? Please review! Random reviewers get a free, virtual cookie made by Arty! (if I was you, I wouldn't eat it.)
Oh, and this is Clary's debut on . So, please answer these: Should we add the epilogue? Are we so bad at this we should drop dead on the spot, and never touch the keyboard again? And, Clary adds, do you like her?
Clary: You better like me, you'd better. *glares*
Bunnie: Stop making the A/N long! =.=' Well, please review, and thanks for reading!
P.S. If five or more people want us to add the epilogue, we will.