She sat on the driveway, staring off into nothing. All the memories, gone, packed away and tucked in a box for good. She looked at the picture in her hands, one she had recalled so well, from ages ago. More tears rolled down her cheeks and she tried to remember happy times, times when everything was going right.
A car drove by, and Gabriella quickly looked up, hoping she had come back. But no- it wasn't. Her head dropped back down and she hiccupped out a sob. Tears fell continuously now. She dropped the picture and brought her hands to her eyes. She rocked back and forth now uncontrollably sobbing. The tears couldn't stop. Nothing could stop. Time passed as though it wasn't moving at all. The hours dragged on and the hysterics ceased. But nothing, no one, could stop this pain.
"You know, people might think you're crazy- just sitting here and crying." Gabriella looked up to find Troy standing in front of her. She opened her mouth to retaliate but closed it quickly and looked down again. He walked forward a few steps, blocking some of the hues in the sky that had appeared as the sun went down. But the sunset wasn't beautiful anymore. It made her think of something that was gone. The sun was leaving. Just like everything else in her life.
A wave of emotions swept though her body as he stood in front of her, standing simply in his navy hoodie and dark jeans. Her breath hitched as he stuck his hands in his pockets. He shouldn't be doing that to her. It wasn't right anymore.
"What are you doing here?" she asked scornfully, looking past him. She wouldn't, no- she couldn't look into those eyes; the eyes that used to love her, the eyes that used to care. She pulled her knees closer to her chest, and picked up the picture she had set down, bringing it closer to her as well.
"I saw that the moving trucks came today, and I," he paused, "I just wanted to see how you were doing," She looked up at his chest, refusing to meet his eyes. She knew, if she looked, her will would crumble, her vulnerability would show through, and she'd open her arms, accepting anything and everything he had to offer. She swallowed and regained composure.
"Why the hell would you care?" she replied bitterly, blinking back tears. If he really cared, he wouldn't have broken up with her. He wouldn't have said that they needed a break. He wouldn't have said that everything was so complicated, and that with school and basketball, she was a distraction that no one needed. The words repeated in her mind again, and brought more tears down her face. 'No,' she thought, brushing her hand against her eye, wiping away the tears, 'I'm done crying over this'.
"You know, just because we broke up, doesn't mean I don't care for you anymore," he replied just as harsh and bitter as she had.
"Oh really?" she asked, "Because if I recall correctly, I was a distraction that no one needed," her voice cracked, "especially you." Troy winced at the words. He shut his eyes and breathed deeply. Gabriella noticed he rubbed his hand against his forehead, a characteristic that normally wouldn't have upset her. This time, it angered her greatly. What the hell could he possibly be nervous about?
He stood unsure of what to say. He contemplated his words for a moment, and soon opened his mouth to speak. Abruptly, Gabriella stood up and walked the few steps down the driveway to reach Troy. She slapped his chest, hard. Troy flinched and rubbed his chest, biting his lip and turning his face away.
"No. You know what, Troy? If you came here just to make me feel more horrible than I do, I pity you," she half shouted, her voice unsteady with the tears and pain swelling inside her.
"I loved you Troy, damn it, I loved you. And then you just went and crushed me." The emotions from her head, her heart, from everywhere were coming out in a fit of anger.
"The day you broke up with me-" Troy took another deep breath, wincing, again looking to the side of Gabriella as her breath shook unsteadily, "the day you broke up with me, was the day I found out that Leah was moving, that she was leaving, but you don't even care," she finished, her heart pounding throughout her body. Why was she getting so worked up over this? This had to stop.
She sighed heavily, her body shaking from the irregular breathing that engulfed her from crying. She vaguely realized how close they were standing. Her nose was nearly touching his chest, and if she moved the slightest, their bodies would be touching.
He was acutely aware of the distance between them. His head just above hers, looking into the mass of brown curls on her head. He could imagine himself taking a step forward. Their bodies would touch and the familiar sock would run through his veins.
She started crying again, and turned away from him. She couldn't take it anymore. A strangled sob escaped her lips. She broke into a sprint, up the driveway, away from him, away from all her problems. She stopped at the front porch and looked at the door. Inside that house held so many memories. She and Leah had grown up in that house; sharing secrets- secrets about boys, about Troy. Her life revolved around Leah and her family, creating an untouchable relationship unique to anyone who saw.
She turned around and sat down on the step that rode up to the porch. She put her head in her hands as sobs overcame her body. Troy had to leave. He needed to leave. She wouldn't be able to handle herself if he didn't. He made everything even more difficult. He made it more difficult for her to hate him when he was standing so close to her, smelling so good. His eyes bored into her soul even when she couldn't see them. Just his presence threw her off. She hadn't registered the footsteps coming up the driveway until she saw a black pair of Converse under her nose.
"You forgot your picture." She looked up to find Troy standing awkwardly in front of her, holding out the picture of herself and Leah. She didn't respond, so Troy moved towards her and sat down. Surprisingly, she didn't make a move for him to get up and leave.
"Thanks" she hiccupped quietly, taking the picture he handed her.
He didn't say anything. They just sat there, in a silence hard to break. It was awkward, no doubt, and painful- oh it was more painful than a lot of things. Gabriella contemplated whether to talk to him or not. She really could just apologize. No. She didn't do anything. He should be the one to apologize. He thought about talking to her too. Was she still so mad at him? Or had she kind of forgiven him? He couldn't decide. His thoughts were cut short when she spoke again.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked slowly, "You're Troy Bolton, you fell for me- me of all people, and then you broke my heart. I didn't think you'd be coming back to talk to me anytime soon." He looked down and closed his hands together, studying the ground as he did so.
"I just- I missed you," he responded quietly, his usually cool voice faltering slightly. He brought up his head and looked forward almost determinedly. She looked at the side of his face and saw his jaw set and his eyes glued to a spot in the distance. She fought the urge to set her hand on his cheek, knowing that her touch used to calm him. She turned her head back and looked straight forward at her house across the street, remembering how mad she was.
"You can't honestly think that because my best friend moved that I'll take you back just because you say you miss me," she said a little more harshly than she'd intended.
"I know," he sighed quietly, clasping and unclasping his hands, "but I hoped." With his gaze still set upon her house, he breathed another audible sigh.
Another huff of uneasiness spread between them. Troy wanted so badly just to be able to touch her. It had been almost a month since either of them had touched-let alone spoken, making life a living hell for themselves and their friends. Everyone sat at lunch in total stillness sharing silent glances between the two for the first week. For the rest of the month though, Gabriella couldn't bear to face Troy. She ate lunch alone in the library.
No one dared mentioning the stupidity of their breakup to either of them. Gabriella would break down crying as soon as his name was mentioned and Troy would go mute, refusing to respond to anything; abnormal antics for the both of them. So, their friends, though hardly willing to sit through awkward lunches, chose to ignore their argument and try to keep things normal, an exceedingly difficult thing to do. Hoping the two would work things out on their own; the gossip spread, but never reached Troy or Gabriella.
"Why aren't you being so-so--?" she asked suddenly.
"Harsh? Bitter? Different?" he offered, scanning the ground.
"Yeah," she whispered, her throat heavy.
"Because Gabriella," he turned around, facing away from her, to rub his hand against his forehead. He spoke so loudly she jumped a bit.
"Because, I broke up with you, and then everything went wrong." His voice cracked, but she dismissed it, simply because she thought she had to. He turned around and looked at her; she refused to make eye contact. His voice was soft when he spoke again.
"I started missing shots; I couldn't talk to the guys. I-I didn't know who I was anymore. I thought I had done the right thing, I really did, but I didn't. I had done… the exact opposite."
"So," she said uncharacteristically. He didn't know how badly he had hurt her. He didn't know she spent hours crying over him. He didn't know that she spent so many sleepless nights thinking about him.
"So," he replied, "I was stupid. I was stupid to let you go."
"Yes," she whispered, "you were."
He sat down again, this time very close to her. He looked up at her, trying to catch her gaze. Her head fought her heart. She wanted to look at him, she did, but she couldn't. She fought so hard to repel those calming blue eyes, but she couldn't.
She
looked at him for the first time, her eyes full of pain. Her wordless
expression told so much. It explained the hurt, confusion, anxiety,
and love behind the façade of anger. A tear leaked out the corner of
her eye. Before she could lift her hand to wipe it away, another hand
found her face, softly completing the job for her.
The moment
was frozen in time; Troy's hand set upon her face, their eyes glued
together. The amount of time that passed was immeasurable. She didn't
know how long they spent looking at each other; it could have been
minutes, it could have been hours.
Suddenly feeling nervous, and overly conscious of herself, Gabriella let her eyelids flutter closed. When they reopened, she was looking down at the stoic concrete. Troy removed his hand from her face. She let out a quiet gasp; she felt empty without his warm touch. With gentleness that surprised Gabriella, Troy lifted her chin with two fingers. Their eyes locked again.
"I'm so sorry," he said, so quietly she had to strain to hear it.
Gabriella sat in silence, comprehending his spoken words. Her breathing got rougher, and again she fought the tears that blurred her vision with all the will power she had.
"I-I..." Her mouth closed, as she slowly lost the fight with her tears. What could she honestly say to that? Troy had just said the sweetest, most caring, and most will-crumbling words ever, and she not only denied him first, but couldn't frame a coherent sentence to reproach her own words? He must have mistaken her speechlessness as rejection, because his posture shifted and he faced somewhat away from her.
"I know- I well, I know it's too late to be telling you all this," he admitted quietly, "but it needed to be said." He placed his hand on her cheek, leaning in briefly to give her a kiss on the cheek.
"I'm sorry I was too late," he repeated, getting up from the porch step.
Gabriella watched as he walked down the side walk, and onto the driveway, her thoughts still in a jumble. How could she let him walk away like that? She was losing him. Every step he took was a step away from her.
Snapping out of her incoherent trance, she stood up. She watched as he rubbed his hand over his face. Was he wiping away tears? Hope shot through Gabriella, something she hadn't felt in so long. Why was she just standing there?
"Troy!" She yelled down the driveway. He ignored her call and kept walking. She bit her lip. Her hope was slowly fading away. Rejection washed through her.
"Troy!" She repeated, quieter this time, her face full of sadness.
In a moment, Gabriella was sprinting down the driveway, tears flying every which way. She had lost him once, she couldn't lose him again. Was it too late? With one last bit of hope, she grabbed onto his back, feeling him tense and stop moving. He hastily turned around; she breathed into his chest, sighing deeply. He responded quickly, holding her waist closely. They embraced so closely, as if nothing could tear them apart. The hole: for the first time in a month it felt as though the hole in her chest that had replaced her heart had never been there. It felt like the pain hadn't been there, like it had all just been a bad dream; the fight, the break-up, her unhappiness was all just a nightmare, and she had just woken up. She lifted her head and spoke to him.
"Troy," she whispered, tears stilling rolling down her cheeks, "it's not too late; it's never too late for you."
They gazed at each other, his eyes brimming with tears, her face covered in salty tear stains. He placed her more firmly on the ground, resting his forehead against her. A small smile played at her lips. He closed his eyes and sighed, this felt so right. He embraced their closeness, grabbing onto her hands and tugging her closer. She held onto him tightly, basking in the comfort.
Slowly, Gabriella pulled her hands out of Troy's-for a moment rejection shot through him, what was she doing? His fear was quickly replaced with anxiety; she placed her hands on his chest.
"I'm sorry," he whispered again, closing his eyes. "I didn't know- I didn't think this would be so wrong. I- if I could take it all back, I-" He stopped and reopened his eyes. Her heart melted as she watched his agonized eyes search hers for the right words.
"Hey," she smiled softly, "Troy. Stop it. I get it. I forgive you. It was a mistake, people make mistakes." She nodded her head, confirming the words she spoke. He looked up at her, guilt still fresh on his face. Her hands, that had lain idled at his chest, moved slowly up his shoulders until they reached around his neck.
Their foreheads touched again, noses brushing. Her eyes fluttered closed, his following soon after. The moment, so soft and precious, was even more palpable as they lost touch with reality.
He lifted his face a little so their lips brushed. She smiled the slightest and he captured her lips fully, pulling her closer as he did so. Her hands slipped from his shoulders to the back of his neck, pausing to put her fingers through his hair. He smiled as he pulled away breathlessly, allowing no space to escape between them.
"I missed you," she smiled, confining his lips to hers again, "and I'm sorry you thought you were too late."
"It's okay," he sighed, "I missed you way too much for your own good." She giggled and he squeezed her tighter.
And even though things weren't every bit okay, they were pretty darn close.
