'I...understand. Thank you for your time.'

The man seated behind the desk gave a tired smile as his guest nodded, and finished their meeting with, 'I wish I had better news, sir. This war...' She took a breath, and continued. 'This war has claimed many lives, and not one of them insignificant. I am as ready to see it finished as you.' The Prime Minister tried to smile in a reassuring manner, but it was totally lost on the witch. She simply stared. The smile faded, and the Prime Minister of Great Britain swallowed before shifting in his seat slightly. She was by far the most attractive person that had ever been sent to update him on the other inhabitants of his country, but she was also the most disconcerting. The talking portraits and men with funny beards were one thing, but this woman seemed to have a power hidden in her. Her pale green eyes stared at him full on, never flinching.

'Good day, sir. I hope the next time we meet, it will be for better reasons.' She turned to leave, and he jumped out of his seat and took a weird stance, almost as if he was going to leap over his desk and open the door for her, but she had already slipped out of it by the time the full thought came to him. He sank back down blinked for a bit before deciding the best thing for him would be a ridiculously strong cup of tea before diving back into the mess of paperwork on his desk.

The witch slipped out of the door of 10 Downing Street into the dim and misty world surrounding it. The sun was setting, and the freezing drizzle falling was determined to chill her to the bone. She shivered involuntarily, and shoved her hands deeper into the pockets of her Muggle coat. She only had to walk far enough to get past the anti-apparation wards that had been set around Number !0, then she could get out of this. Not much farther...

'Oh God, this is terrible,' she said with a disgusted look. Her hair was getting soaked, and she shivered slightly as she waited for him to follow her.

He laughed as she shut and locked the door. 'Emmy, you're such a wimp. it's only rain.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Am not a wimp. I just...liked my hair today.' Lame excuse. But what was she going to do? Admit that she felt like a disgusting drowned rat? Not likely. Regulus Black laughed, and grabbed her hands before pulling her into a kiss. Emma smiled against his lips, relenting to his cheerful mood.

Good days like this were rare. She should just enjoy them. Emma wrapped her arms around her best friend and lover as his snaked around her waist. Kissing in the rain. How very disgustingly romantic. She giggled, and it broke the kiss. She looked up to see a slightly lopsided smile directed at her. 'What?' he asked.

She rested her head on his chest. 'Nothing. It's just...We deserve this,' she looked back up at him, the smile still on her face. 'And I love you.' She kissed him lightly before untangling herself from his embrace and slipping her hand into his.

'Mm, you know, I may just love you too. Stubborn, pigheaded woman that you are. It's not like you'd ever take no for an answer.' At that, Emma smacked him lightly, and he laughed. 'Also, I quite agree. I do think we deserve take-away. I've earned a decent meal, and God knows you can't cook one.'

'Are you asking for it, Reg?'

He cocked an eyebrow. 'Maybe.'

They had brought each other light in a time where their lives were nothing but darkness. True, they were both fighting in a war bigger than they could possibly imagine, but at home, they were Reg and Emmy, the two who got what they wanted. As they walked hand-in-hand, Emma felt like she was invincible. There was nothing the two of them couldn't face. She loved him. She always had, and always would.

At that moment, pain exploded in her forearm, pulling her out of the moment. She gasped as she gripped the offending spot. Reg stopped, and looked at her, worry etched in his face. 'You're being called? Why? I'm not.' Fear settled in his eyes, and he gripped her shoulders. 'What if they've found out? What if-'

'They haven't, Reg. They couldn't. There is physically no way.' She put a hand on his arm, and slid away from him as she puled her wand. 'It's fine, they probably just have someone new to interrogate.' She kissed him, and backed up, wishing she didn't have to leave him. But, moments were moments and life was life. She rolled up her sleeve to reveal the angry-looking tattoo writhing on her arm, and looked up at him, a small smile on her face. 'Get your food, and I'll see you later. Love you.'

The drizzle became proper rain, and Emmeline quickened her pace, her head down to avoid the freezing water. This was a horrid night, and she hated that it pulled memories to the surface that were better left buried. It had taken her years to learn to forget, and she had, finally, until last year.

But then he came back. The Dark Lord returned, and Emmeline was once again pulled into the web of deceit and hate that had been her downfall fifteen years ago. Just when she had thought she was free, it all returned. The call had come, and she had obeyed, knowing that ignoring it would mean certain death. Once again, Emmeline had joined the ranks of the Death Eaters as a spy, watching, and waiting for her second summons. And it did come, as she knew it would.

The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is at 15 Grimmauld Place.

Emma stared at the parchment, her heart tightening in her chest. What sick entity had played this joke on her? What person had chosen this house as the Headquarters for the Order? She felt anger rising up with the pain and hurt, but she shoved it away before looking at the rickety house before her. Emma took a breath to steel herself, and pushed the door to the house open. The sight that greeted her made it even harder to bear. The once pristine home was a shambles, and dark as a tomb. 'Lumos,' she said, and her wand cast into relief something that made Emma cry out.

Mrs. Black was staring at her intently. The woman looked shocked, and as Emmeline stared at the portrait of her lover's mother, she was struck dumb. Mrs. Black, however, was not.

'You,' she hissed, 'YOU KILLED MY BOY! BLOOD TRAITOR! MURDERING BITCH! IT'S YOUR FAULT! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT-'

A set of mouldering velvet curtains shut over the portrait with a snap, and Emma turned to look at the person who had cast the spell.'Oh my God,' she whispered, backing away and putting her hands over her face. As if this day had not been traumatising enough, he was here.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't look at him, she couldn't be in this house. Emmeline was turning back into a scared nineteen year-old, and she was not fond of the feeling. A pair of arms wrapped around her, and she tensed slightly. 'I'm sorry, Em,' a voice rumbled, and her bit her lip. They sounded so alike... 'I know this must be hard on you.' Sirius pulled away, and looked at her, a sad smile on his gaunt face. 'But it is good to see you again.'

Emma tried a smile, and brushed a tear off her face. 'Yes, you too, really. I'm sorry about this,' she indicated to her watering eyes and splotchy face, 'It's just...a lot to remember.'

Sirius nodded. 'I understand. There's always going to be a part of me that misses him too.'

And so she had fought. She had survived nearly all of the people she had ever cared for, trying her hardest to live her life in memory of them. It started with her when the Fenwicks had been picked off, and continued with Evan Rosier, Regulus Black, James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin's little Minna, the Prewett brothers and their women, Dora Meadowes and Marlene McKinnon, and Frank and Alice Longbottom. Recently, it had been for Sirius and Amelia. It never ended. For both sides, the death was unceasing.

And it made Emmeline tired. She felt like she had lived centuries in the span of her short life, and in a way, she had lived more than others. Her life was always two-sided, and each side had to be full enough to mask the other. The Death Eaters couldn't suspect, and the Order could not be let down. The people she had lost could not be forgotten.

Her eyes flew open, and she sat up. He wasn't here. He always came home, even if it wasn't until the wee hours. She looked around the room before jumping out of bed. Something had happened to him, she knew it. He would never stay out all night and not let her know, especially after the events of the past few weeks. Icy fingers clenched Emma's heart. Her feet hit the floor with a loud thump, and she crossed the bedroom to grab her dressing gown and wand before dashing into the sitting room.

'Emmy? Are you all right?' She whipped around, and there he stood in the kitchen doorway, orange juice and toast in hand. She exhaled with a whoosh, and a hand flew to her forehead as she dropped her wand. 'Don't you ever do that to me again,' she whispered before closing the space between them. She wrapped her arms around him, toast and all, and breathed in.

She felt him reach over and set his things down before holding her and chuckling. 'You are ridiculous, woman. I woke you up when I came in last night.'

'Nuh-uh. Do not remember,' she replied, his wooly jumper muffling her words.

His hands rubbed her back soothingly. 'Huh,' he replied, his chin resting on the top of her head, 'You opened your eyes and looked at me and everything. You seriously don't remember?' She shook her head, still unwilling to release her vice-like grip on him. He sighed, and continued. 'That's weird. You're a bit weird, did you know that?' She looked up at him and glared, still saying nothing. At that, he laughed outright, and kissed her. What started in simple affection ended in need, and when they separated, it was to make their way back into the bedroom.

'You know I didn't mean to scare you, right?' Reg said as he shut the door behind them. 'I'd never ever do that to you on purpose-' but he was cut off by her lips. Clearly, she forgave him. But Emma needed reassurance. She needed to know he was real, she needed to know she wasn't dreaming. A warm had cupped her face and he parted her lips, branding her as his as they continued to themselves in each other.

It was moments like that Emma tried to keep buried. Remembering the bad days hurt, yes, but the good were next to unbearable, simply because she had never experienced their like since she lost him. Sure, she had tried to move on, but she'd found that it was practically impossible to escape him, just like it had when they were in school. The year where everything had changed had been extremely painful for her, just because she had known even then that there was not one person in the world she cared for more than him. Perhaps it was unhealthy, but it was true.

And it was still true. Even after sixteen years, she still had never felt as strongly for anyone else. Emma had to bite back a laugh. Hers was a pathetic existence.

Thunder rumbled above her, and she looked around, frowning. She hadn't realised until then that this was a proper storm. She looked at the sky, and her frown deepened as she saw black clouds gathering. But there was a slight problem.

They weren't rain clouds. Emma pulled her wand, and waited. They appeared around her, and Emma cocked an eyebrow as she saw who materialised. Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Nott, and Lucius stood around her, and Emmeline crossed her arms. 'What is the meaning of this?' she asked haughtily, though an icy hand gripped her heart, and she did not let go of her wand.

'Oh, Emmeline,' her old trainer and friend replied with a shake of his pale head, 'Your game is up.' His eyes were ice cold as he pulled his wand, and shouted a curse.

Emma fell to the floor with a crash, her arms wrapping around her knees. 'NO!' she cried. She wouldn't believe it. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. She felt her mind crumbling as she took in what Dumbledore was telling her. This couldn't be happening. It was a trick, a sick joke someone had decided to play. She felt Lily wrap her arms around her, but Emma didn't move to respond.

'You're lying,' she said, looking at Dumbledore pleadingly. 'You have to be lying.'

'I wish that were the case, Miss Vance. But we just received word that Regulus is indeed dead.' A sob escaped her throat, and she buried her head in her arms.

'Why?' she asked, but it came out nearly unintelligible. But somehow, Dumbledore knew.

He looked around at the ret of the room, his eyes lingering in the ashen face of Sirius. 'The story they are circulating is he tried to desert. But I suppose we will never know.'

It was a lie, of that she knew. He would never have been so stupid as to tell anyone but her his doubts about his service to the Dark Lord. He knew that if he had decided to leave, she could help him do it the smart way. It was a lie. But covering what, she didn't know. And she didn't care. All she knew is that he was dead. Her Reg. He was gone, and she'd never see him again. The tears were coming fast and heavy, and she sobbed into her arms, wishing desperately it was a different pair of arms holding her. One last time, that was all she wanted. One hast hug, one last smile, anything.

She hadn't even opened her eyes that morning when he had kissed her goodbye. He had left so early, that she didn't even fully wake up when he had come to tell her he was leaving for the day. But what he had said lingered in the recesses of her mind. Until that moment, she had thought she had imagined his voice in her ear, whispering two words, two nonsensical words.

'Remember me.'

She thew up a shield, and fired a stunner at Lucius before spinning around to face Bellatrix. 'Why? What are you doing?' She looked into the mad eyes of her once-friend, and saw nothing but utter hatred. 'Traitor,' the older woman spat. 'You're nothing but a traitor. We know your game, Emmeline. You've sold us out to the Order.'

Emma straightened, and her eyes hardened. 'Oh, that.' she replied. 'Well, obviously.' She looked at them all with hatred in her eyes. 'You killed everyone I ever loved. Did you expect me to do any different? It certainly took you long enough to figure it out.'

Nott growled, and pointed his wand at her. 'Crucio,' he shouted, and Emmeline screamed as her body exploded in pain. She felt like she was being skinned alive, her blood boiling to press on raw nerves, but she gripped her wand tightly and pointed it with great effort at him.

'Avada Kedavra,' she gasped, and the pain disappeared as a green lit engulfed the wizard. Bella screamed in fury, and the spells flew from all directions at Emma. She wasn't going to survive this, of that she was certain. But she was going to die fighting the ones that had ruined her life. And so she did. The lights blazed in the middle of the deserted street, and Emmeline fought back with everything she had. She was brilliant and she was ruthless, fighting with her mind, her hatred, and her need to leave the group marked by her. They would remember her. Not as their weak follower, as she had been in her youth, but as the one who had the strength to fight them in every way possible.

When her wand finally was knocked out of her hand, she stood tall, bleeding slightly from a cut on her forehead she hadn't even noticed until that moment. Lucius was the one who finally pointed his wand at her chest. The world slowed as Emmeline met his eyes defiantly. He smiled. 'Avada Kedavra.'

As the light engulfed Emmeline, all she could think of was one person.

Emmy,

By the time you find this, I'll probably be long gone. But I just thought you should know I weighed every possible option before doing this. It's me or everyone else, Emmy. And as much as I hate that, it's true. He's got to go down, and turns out it's me who's gotta try and help that happen.

Yes, I know you have no idea what I'm talking about, and you're not going to. Just do me a favour, and don't try and turn me into a hero, all right? Because I'm not. I just want this over. There are better people out there to rule our race than the Dark Lord. And I can make sure he's defeated. Eventually. So just...I dunno, do what you're doing, and keep yourself safe.

Love you.

Reg

She hoped that she had done him proud.