I've had this story for years when I was doing birthday one-shots. I just now got to fix this one and put it up. Enjoy!


Kisame's Birthday Present

Anita King was walking in the woods of Konaha when suddenly she was captured by a shadow. The shadow blindfolded her and then carried her past the Konaha gates and into the forest. They got far away until they came upon a stone wall. It was inbetween the sand village(Sunagakure) and the leaf village(Konahagakure). The shadow did a few hand signs and the wall seperated. Anita was then consumed in more darkness. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and they emerged into a livingroom-looking place.

"Well, well, where did you pick up this one, Kisame?" a male voice asked.

"She's my new 'pet,'" another male voice said.

"I don't think that Leader-sama will let you keep her," the first male voice said.

"Who cares. She can be the maid. But she's mine and it's my birthday and I deserve what I want for my birthday," the second voice whined.

"So you replaced me with a little girl?" the first voice asked.

"No, I didn't replace you, Itachi-san," the second voice said.

"LITTLE! I am not little!" Anita yelled. "And get this damn blindfold off of me!"

"Well, this one has a mouth on her, doesn't she, Kisame?" the first voice asked. "You better take off that blindfold before she tries to eat you."

The blindfold finally came off and Anita was consumed in a bright light. She looked around and saw a girl with long black hair and red eyes sitting on a couch. She looked beside her at the person holding her. She saw that he was a tall, blue shark-looking thing. Anita lifted her finger and started to poke at his gills.

"Are these real?" she asked, still poking him.

"Yes, now stop," he said.

The shark-looking thing dropped Anita and she fell with a 'thump'.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" she asked. "And why am I here?"

"It's my birthday and I needed someone to be my birthday present. So I chose you as my maid," he said. "You may address me as Master or Kisame-san."

"Okay, Ki-sa-me-danna," Anita said giggling.

Kisame bent down and kissed Anita on the cheek. Anita started to blush.

"Nani?" she asked.

"Well, you did say kiss you," he said. "I'm hungry."

"Well, show me to the kitchen and I'll cook you up something," Anita said.

Kisame showed her to the kitchen and Anita got to cooking. Kisame just stood there watching her. She made ramen, rice, curry, and a cake for dessert. She put everything on the dining room table. She got some plates and cups out and set them on the table. She poured some ryokucha(green tea) in the cups and went into the livingroom.

"The food is done," she announced.

Kisame went into the dining room and sat down. He grabbed some food and started to eat.

"Arigatou, otome. This is wonderful," he said.

Anita started to blush because he just called her maiden. After Kisame finished his meal, he started eating the cake.

"Sumimasen, Kisame-danna, but where am I?" Anita asked. "I've been wondering that for awhile now."

"You are in Akatsuki," he said with his mouth full of cake.

"Oh, okay," Anita said. "There are more people here besides you and that girl that was sitting on the couch, aren't there?"

"Hai, there are more people, and what girl?" he asked.

"The one that was sitting on the couch when you brought me here," she said.

"Oh, that's not a girl. That's Uchiha, Itachi," he said.

"Oh, I thought it was a girl because of the long hair," she said.

"It's okay, he does look like a girl," Kisame said snickering.

"So, where is everyone?" Anita asked.

"They are all in there room or out on a mission," Kisame said.

Just then the girl from before, I mean the man, Itachi, walked into the diningroom.

"Oh, hey, Itachi-san. My little maid made me some food, do you want to try the cake? It's really good," Kisame said.

"Iie(no)," Itachi said.

Itachi went into the kitchen to get something to drink and then went back into the livingroom. Anita could hear the sounds from the TV and then she heard people talking. She didn't know if they were coming from the TV or from other people. Just then people walked into the diningroom and greeted Kisame. They stopped when they saw Anita.

"Kisame, who is this?" one of them asked. "Is it a new sacrifice for Jashin-sama?"

"Iie(No), and if you lay a finger on her, Hidan, I'll kill you," Kisame said.

"Lets see you try, fishface. I'll sacrifice your ass to Jashin-sama," the guy said.

Those two started to fight in the dining room and Anita walked into the livingroom and sat on the couch beside the girl, I mean guy. The guy glimpsed a look at Anita and then stared back at the TV. Anita stared at the guy and started to poke him in the face.

"What's with the lines? Are you old?" Anita asked.

"They're worry lines and iie(no), I'm not old and stop poking me," he said, glaring at Anita.

"Right, you're not old. Then why do you have worry lines?" she asked.

"It's none of your business," he said.

"Oh! Are you worried that I'm going to still your man away from you?" Anita asked.

Itachi glared at her.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You're afraid that I'm going to take your fishy friend from you," Anita said. "Oooh! Don't worry, I won't still your yaoi partner away," Anita said, getting up and walking away. "I like yaoi."

Itachi glared at her as she walked off. Anita walked into the dining room and she saw Kisame and Hidan still going at it, while another guy trying to stop them.

"Ki-sa-me-danna," she said.

All three guys looked up and stared at Anita. Anita saw the twinkle in their eyes and started to back away.

"Maybe I came back in here at the wrong time. Ja," Anita said dashing off into another part of the hideout.

She slowed down and then realized that she was in a narrow hallway lined with doors. She was deciding if she should look to see what was behind the doors or not. She decided to look anyway. She opened the first door on her left and peeked inside. She saw a flash of red hair and blonde hair on top of each other. Anita stared at the two going at it. Anita blushed and then slammed the door shut. The two looked up at the sound of the door being slammed. They shrugged and continued at what they were doing before. Anita walked on to the next door. She opened the second door and saw a guy with an orange mask and a girl with brown hair sitting on the floor playing a game. She saw the two in an awkward position and then slammed the door.

"This place is filled with hentais," Anita said walking off.

The two in the room in the awkward position looked at the door and then continued their game.

"Your turn to spin, Tobi-kun," the girl said.

The boy, Tobi, spun the arrow and it read, 'right foot on green.'

Anita continued walking and opened the third door. Behind the third door was a room filled with plants.

"This room looks nice," Anita said. "No hentai."

She walked into the room and attempted to touch one of the plants, when a man popped out of the ground.

"What are you doing in here? Lets eat her," he said.

Anita froze stiff. She slowly turned around and saw a green plant-man thing. He was half white and half black, with yellow eyes and green hair. He looked like he had a venus fly-trap around his head.

"I...I...I don't know. Please don't hurt me or eat me!" Anita said.

Anita started to back away, but bumped into one of the plants. The plant-man started to come closer to her. She quickly dashed between him and one of the plants and ran out the door. She was trying to catch her breath as soon as she got out of the room. She looked behind her and saw that the plant-man was coming after her. She ran down the hallway with the plant-man right behind her. She turned a corner and saw only one door at the end of the long hallway. She quickly ran inside. The room was pitch black and she couldn't see anything. She felt around the walls looking for a light switch.

"Who's there?" a deep voice asked in the darkness.

Anita jumped when she heard the voice.

"W...W...Who's there?" Anita asked in a shaky voice. "You won't try to molest me, will you?"

"Why would I try to do that?" the voice asked.

"Because everyone here is a hentai," Anita said.

"And why is that?" he asked.

"Because I walked into the dining room to talk to Kisame and then everyone just looked at me. Then I ran and opened a door with two people going at it, and then I opened another door and these two were playing 'Twister' in a wrong way, and then I went into another room and this plant man chased me into here," Anita said in one breath.

"I see," he said.

Anita then heard a clapping noise and the lights came on. She saw a man with orange hair and lots of piercings on him. Just before she said something, there was a loud 'bang' outside the door. The man jumped up and ran out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Anita in the room. He ran to Deidara's room and burst opened the door.

"Deidara, what did you do this time?" he asked.

He then saw that there was no one in the room. He then went to Sasori's room and opened the door. He was about to ask something when he saw Sasori and Deidara still going at it. He slammed the door and then ran outside. He then saw a girl with long black hair and violet/purple eyes throwing Deidara's clay and blowing stuff up.

"Maggie, what are you doing?" he asked.

"What's it look like I'm doing? un! I'm blowing shit up. yeah!" she said.

"Well, stop it," he protested.

"Hell no! I'm having fun. Whatcha gonna do, stop me?" she asked.

The man then picked her up and ran back into the hideout. He took her to his room and locked the door. Maggie looked around and saw a pinkette standing in the room.

"What the Hell, Pein. I'm gone for a few hours and you're already cheating on me with this short pinkette?" Maggie asked.

Anita then glared at Maggie.

"That's a nice thing to say, Nii-chan," Anita said.

"Nani? What the Hell are you talking about, shrimp?" Maggie asked in an angry tone.

"It's nice that you've forgotten about your little sister, Nii-chan," Anita said.

"What the Hell are you talking about?! I'm an only child. I have no family," Maggie said.

Maggie then turned around and glared at Pein. Pein just kept staring at Anita in disbelief.

"Take your cloak off and show me your birthmark," Anita said.

"Nani? How did you know that I have a birthmark?" Maggie asked.

"Just do it!" Anita said.

"Iie(No)," Maggie said angrily.

"Fine, I'll make you," Anita said lunging at Maggie.

"What the Hell?!" Maggie yelled as she was being thrown to the floor.

Anita tried to grab Maggie's cloak and rip it off. They were wrestling and rolling around on the floor. They finally hit the door and landed in the hallway. Everyone heard the 'bang' and came to see what was the noise all about. They saw two girls fighting each other in the hallway, trying to get their clothes off.

"Yeah! Go pet!" Kisame yelled.

Anita finally gets the cloak off of Maggie and rips it.

"Yeah! Finally. Now stand up and turn around," Anita said getting up.

Everyone is just staring at the two girls. Maggie gets up but doesn't turn around, which makes Anita walk around her. Maggie walks around, too, so that she can't see the birthmark. Anita then grabs Maggie by the shoulders to hold her still and then looks at her lower back. She lifts up the fishnet shirt, but then Maggie slaps her hand away, but not before Anita catches a glimpse of the Teslow sign birthmark (a red crescent moon and a black star).

"Ha! I told you. You have the clan's symbol on your lower back, therefore we are sisters," Anita said.

"How can we be sisters? You don't have the clan's symbol," Maggie said.

"I do have it," Anita shot back.

"Where? Then show me," Maggie said.

"I can't," Anita said.

"Then you don't have it, which means you were lying and you're not my sister or related to me," Maggie said.

"I am, too," Anita said.

"Then prove it," Maggie said.

Maggie then lunged at Anita and tried to take off her clothes.

"If you're a Teslow, then prove it. Show me the damn symbol," Maggie said ripping at Anita's shirt.

Both girls started to roll around the floor again, but before Maggie could rip the rest of Anita's shirt off, Pein ordered the guys to pull them apart.

"Damn, Pein, why? It was getting good," Kisame whined.

Pein pulled Maggie away from Anita and Kisame picked up Anita. Kisame and Itachi retreated back to the livingroom with the fumming 'pet' as Pein took Maggie into the kitchen.

"Pet-chan, what was that about?" Kisame asked, looking at her battered attire.

"She's my sister!" Anita cried out in frustration.

Kisame just stared at his 'pet'.

"You're delusional, Pet-chan. Maggie-san doesn't have any family. They're all dead," Kisame said.

"Delusional? I'm not damn delusional. I have the damn clan sign," Anita yelled.

She ripped off her shirts and showed them her birthmark on her left shoulder.

"See, I told you I'm not damn delusional. I've been looking for my sister forever," Anita said. "Thanks to you, Kisame-danna, I founded her."

The guys raised their eyebrows at Anita.

"Maggie, come in here!" Anita yelled.

Maggie walked into the livingroom with Pein right beside her.

"Nani?" she asked angrily.

Anita walked over to her and showed her her arm. Maggie looked and saw a red crescent moon with a black star on it.

"Now do you believe that we are sisters?" Anita asked.

"How do I know you just didn't get that put on there?" Maggie asked.

"Arghhhh! Damn you!" Anita yelled shaking her finger in Maggie's face. "Ask me questions about the massacre!"

"When did it happen?" Maggie asked, slapping her hands away.

"You were eight and I was seven, next!" Anita said confidently.

"I said when, not how old we were, but that is correct," Maggie said.

"How should I know when it happened? I was too young to remember," Anita said.

"Okay, who did you kill, then?" Maggie asked sharply.

"Our pathetic father," Anita said with venom.

"Good, I guess," Maggie said. "Okay, I have a very good question. How many angels are in the Teslow family?"

"Four," Anita said.

"Name them," Maggie said.

"Death, Fallen, Naughty, and Corrupted Angel," Anita said.

The guys just looked at Anita as she answered the questions. The same thought was going through their heads, 'Naughty and Corrupted Angels?'

"Which one do I have and which one do you have?" Maggie asked.

"You are the Death Angel and I am the Fallen Angel," Anita answered.

"Maybe we are sisters," Maggie said, thinking this over. "No one knows my angel form except Pein. Show me your angel form."

"On two conditions," Anita said.

"Name them," Maggie ordered.

"One: you have to show me yours, and two: we have to be in another room away from the guys," Anita said.

"Fine then," Maggie said.

They both walked toward Pein's room and the guys just stared at them. They were trying to figure out what was going on. Anita and Maggie walked into Pein's room and Anita put a barrier around the door.

"On the count of three," Anita said.

"Fine," Maggie said.

"One...Two...Three..." they both said at the same time.

The two girls did a few hand signs and then sprouted wings. Anita's wings were black feathers pointing upward. Maggie's wings were black feathers pointing downward, and her eyes turned red. They stared at each other.

"I told you we were sisters," Anita said.

"I still don't believe it," Maggie said.

"Damn, you are so stubborn," Anita yelled.

"Tell me something I don't know," Maggie said.

Anita walks over and slaps Maggie in the face. Maggie gets angry and then jumps on Anita. They start to slap each other and then they end up punching each other. Pein undid the barrier and walked into the room.

"Ladies, stop it, now!" Pein ordered.

Anita looked up at Pein and glared at him.

"Oh! Do you want me to slap you next?" Anita asked.

"You wouldn't be able to land a hand on me," he said.

"Do you really think that?" Anita asked.

"Iie(No), I know it," he said.

"Riiiiight. You know what? You are pestering me," she said.

"Okay, ladies, quit bickering," Maggie said.

Pein glared at Maggie because that is what he said. Anita stares at Pein in amusement.

"You're a woman," she stated.

Maggie started snickering and Pein glared at Anita.

"I am not!" he said.

"But you didn't deny it," she pointed out.

Maggie falls to the ground laughing. She had to admit, the girl was good.

"I...believe...you...are...my...sister," Maggie said inbetween laughter. "Only a Teslow could come up with a comment that amusing and smart."

"Why, thank you. You actually accept the fact that we are related," Anita said.

Pein starts to yell at Maggie.

"Maggie, you should know I'm a man," he said.

Maggie immediately shuts up and stares at Pein.

Anita starts to inch away from the scenario saying, "I believe it is time for observation."

Anita claps her hands and the lights go out. Anita then hears Pein walk toward Maggie and then she heard them making out and then other noises stated to follow. She quickly ran out and down the hallway. She bumped into Kisame and fell down on top of him. He was holding an outfit in his left hand and his other hand was clapsed over Anita's breast. Anita looks down and then stands up quickly and slaps him.

"I frackin' told you there are hentais in this damn place!" Anita yelled.

Kisame looks at her quizically.

"I'm sorry, Pet-chan. I didn't mean to, no matter how much I liked it," he said.

Anita stares at him and then notices the outfit in his hand.

"What's with the outfit?" she asks.

"This is your new maid's outfit," he said.

Anita's eyes go all sparkly and she snatched the outfit from him. She runs into a random room and changes quickly. She comes out in the outfit.

"I love it. Arigatou, Ki-sa-me-danna," Anita said.

"You're very welcome," Kisame said.

So Anita spent her days in Akatsuki being Kisame's pet or maid. And Anita and Maggie became really close after they found out they were sisters. They did everything together. They always loved to play jokes on some of the people, like Kisame and Itachi. But they had fun together. All's well that ends well.


Leave me a review and let me know how you liked it. If you find mistakes, let me know. I'm always looking to improve my writing skills. Untill next time, Ja Ne!