Disclaimer: I hold no claims over any of the characters of the Rurouni Kenshin; Except for the character Yamamoto (Watanabe) Aiko who's a figment of my imagination.

This has been re-posted bcoz ffnet has recently deleted it due to some fault of mine – the long a/n in one chapter and the prologue with nothing but the song lyrics. Apparently that wasn't allowed. I did not know. Next time, I will read the guidelines. There were revisions made but not that major…reviews from the first few chapters still welcome.

Chapter 1: The Journal

Adult. When do you become an adult? Would it be when you are orphaned at the mere age of four and left to the care of isolated monks? Would it be when you are recruited by shinobis at the age of seven, to be trained and reared as a spy? Would it be when you are to be the guardian of a three-year old toddler at the age of thirteen? Would it be when you are given the biggest responsibility of leading a whole clan of omnitsu at the ripe age of fifteen? Is that an adult?

Or, would being an adult mean falling in love for the first time at the young age of fifteen; with hope of a bright future along a foggy road? Are you considered an adult of having your heart broken for the first time just because of some responsibility of wars borne on your shoulders? Are you an adult just because you lose the one person you have given your heart to, not knowing whether the two of you would tread the same road once again?

Adult. There is bitterness in that word. Being a child is never a burden. If only time could wind back its hands and submit to me… if only I could once reclaim the title of being a child. Then maybe, just maybe, I could smile…

Aoshi wanted to desperately crumple the piece of document he had in his hands but thought otherwise. It was after all a piece of treasure from his supposed childhood. He did not intend to come upon an old journal he had written so long ago. No one knew about the journal, except, maybe Hannya who had suspected of it but never said a word about it to his okashira.

The journal. It was Aoshi's way of expressing his inner thoughts when he was still the young okashira of the Edo castle and after the defeat in the Boshin War. If there was no journal, Aoshi would have gone to the extreme due to the pressure and hardships back then.

Aoshi had to snicker at the thought. He –did- become crazy once, about five, six years ago when he lost his four most trusted comrades. He did not have a journal at that time.

The journal. He folded them and put it back to where it was kept, away from prying eyes of others – not that anyone in the Aoiya would try to steal it. Oh wait! Okina resides here.

Thirty-one years of existence, he mused as he covered the hiding place of his journal. He was getting old; but he had been old ever since he could remember. Was there ever a time, according to what he read in his journal, he felt like a little boy with no care in the world? Probably once, when he was around her.

Her? What possessed him to think of her after all these years? Oh right, the journal. He indirectly mentioned her in his journal. He never really intended to mention her name, her existence, in pieces of paper. No. She existed in his memory where no one could take it away. But why was he thinking about her now? Well, that was the main reason why he had the sudden urge to dig up the journal buried from a nearby sakura tree at the Aoiya. Aoshi somehow wanted to relive a memory, not written, only mentioned by his calligraphy.

He wanted to say her name out loud but someone might hear. He could simply say it in his mind, but he refused. There was no use torturing himself. Not after many years of building a wall around this emotion. No. Better kept in the memory. Just. Like. That.

Aoshi stood up, looked around him, made sure no one knew he buried something in the ground. With a sigh, he went back inside the Aoiya, called out to Misao to get ready for a trip to Tokyo.

Author's notes:

Well, this is my attempt to write a chaptered, or episodic fanfic – with lots of anxiety, apprehensions and negative vibes surrounding it, heehee!

I'm hoping ppl would appreciate it as well as like it. I know I am only good at (wait, giving myself much credit. Scratch that, eh?) – capable of writing one-shots. They're better because I don't have to worry of plot and character development, climax, denouement and stuff heh! But I need to write about AOSHI. I'm obsessed w/him.

This is a love-triangle pairing with my attempt for an original character/Aoshi/Megumi twist. (of course, Aoshi would be the centre of attn, eh.) I have this image of a woman Aoshi might be compatible with other than Meg. Yet, I have no idea which one will end up with my lovely Aoshi.

I better stop babbling now and humbly beg (heeheehee) for your reviews.

Also, note: I have posted the song: THE PROMISE in my profile for those interested. It was originally the prologue to this fic but apparently it's also not allowed, I think. Anyways…

The song is the inspiration to this fic – an idea that has been tugging on my mind for so long. when I listened to the song, I couldn't resist the urge to write. So… here it is.