Disclaimer: I have zero claim on the Mentalist. Nada. Niente. Zip. Naught.

Big thanks for the wonderful WeBuiltThePyramids for betaing this!

"So the kind man takes the dog in, cleans it up, feeds it and takes it to the vet. After all the kindness he shows it, the dog recognizes him as its master. It, without a doubt, now belongs to this excellent man!" Jane finished with an air of one just finished explaining a murder mystery to a room full of suspects.

"Are you implying that you are kind and excellent?" Rigsby pointed out what he found most suspicious.

"What has that got to do with the couch?" Cho deadpanned.

"My dear Cho, you may not know the sorry stage this couch was in when I first found it! Tugged in a corner in a dusty, dark place. Lonely and unappreciated. It's not even down on its own four legs! Do they even know how to store a couch? The springs are crying from the abuse!" Jane shuddered.

"So you decide to set the springs right by sleeping on it?"

"24/7?"

"Well it's a couch, it's meant to be slept on." Jane didn't understand their problem. Cops!

"Obviously."

"Still doesn't mean only you can use it. I helped you move it too! That thing is really heavy." Rigsby crossed his arms.

"That thing says thank you, Rigsby. But the difference between you and me is that you will just walk past it in the store room. You don't really care about it! Me, I care about it even when it is lost and forgotten." He spread his arms wide on the back of the couch, universal language of possessiveness. "You only see its worth when it has been lain out for you."

"What are you guys talking about?" Lisbon walked into the bullpen at that moment, files in hand.

"Jane won't let us sit on the brown sofa."

"Couch!"

"Whatever. Said he owns it."

"Oh really? Why's that?" Lisbon smirked at her new consultant. She was still trying to get used to his unique brand of bizarre.

"I'm the one who discovered it," Jane looked very pleased with himself. "Clean it up and move it all the way from the dusty store room to this sunny bullpen. It's a lot of work."

"Actually I help you move it." Rigsby grumbled.

Jane waved Rigsby's claim off dismissively. "I'm the one who understand its true value! If not for me, it will still be wasting away in some horrible dark place, on two legs!"

"Whatever," Lisbon shook her head. "We find out where our prime suspect live. Rigsby, come with me. Cho, the vic's girlfriend will come down at noon. You and Jane take care of it."

"Yes Boss."

"Yes, Boss."

"Actually," three pairs of annoyed eyes turned to Jane. "I think I should come with you. I want to take a look at his house."

"No Jane. He's armed and has prior to violence. Rigsby could handle that."

Rigsby stand a little taller at that and smile smugly at Jane. Jane looked injured.

"I'm very good at getting out of trouble!" Jane whined. There's no other word for it, he looked like a puppy told to stay home.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "You are very good at getting into trouble! You stay with Cho AND behave. Rigsby, get a car."

Rigsby snickered as he walked past Jane. "Let the real cop handle this one, baby."

Jane glared.

Twenty minutes later Cho looked up as a disheveled Rigsby stumbled into the bullpen.

"You see Jane?"

"No. Why?"

"Bastard hypnotizes me. Took the car key."

Cho looked at the couch, then at Lisbon's empty office.

"Figure."

Meanwhile.

"Jane, slow DOWN!" Lisbon willed herself to sound calm.

"Relax, Lisbon! If you let go of that irrational fear you may even enjoy the ride."

"Do I look like I'm enjoying it?"

"Well I don't know… Let me check your pupil."

"The road! Look at the road!"

"Okay." He turned back to the road. "You do sound nervous. Unnecessary fear, but I will slow down just to make you happy." He made a big show of slowing down a little.

"I'm not nervous I'm angry! You should be staying in the office not in this car! Damn the way you're driving you shouldn't be in any car!"

"That's not fair Lisbon! You let Cho and Rigsby drive but you never let me drive!"

"You want to know why? Look at the speed!"

Jane looked at the speed, and looked back at her with the most innocent expression.

"What's wrong with the speed?"

Lisbon groaned.

End.

Author's note:

After watching the wonderful 5x5, I can't help but see the parallel between Jane/couch and Lisbon/Jane. And the transformation of Jane throughout that episode (and all five seasons) make me wonder what Jane's early day in the CBI was like. This is what I think. If Jane come through as a needy kid, it is totally intentional. He should be grateful I didn't make him sound like a teething toddler. ^^

Hope you like it!