Authors ntoe:
i am going stir crazy i am having one of those bad realization moments and it really blows i wish my internet wasnt so shitty right now because i am ready. i am ready to throw myself off the golden gate bridge with careful precision as i land into the mouth of a voracious man eating shark that is waiting for me and the force of the fall kills us both. it'll be a prolific death that gets into the newspapers about the CRAZY WOMAN KILLS SHARK IN BRIDGE JUMP and it becomes a world reknown story because is what people like. it'll be tale that will be retold countless times until it becomes an urban legend and kids will be afraid to count to shark in the bathroom mirror or else the ghostshark will pop out and eat them
i am a shark i swim in the ocean and have a stupid fucking tail that i use to swim. if you don't send this to 10 other people i will fly into your kitchen window and wreck your entire home
It was a bright and beautiflu day in Ponyville and Fluttershy awas looking in her bathroom mirror taking note of the soap plastered all over her countertops "TODAY I TRIED USING COLTS BODY SOAP IN THE SHOWER" she said lustily to angle bunny who was sitting in the "IM CONFLICTED ON WETHER TO SAY THIS SMELLS PRETTY GOOD OR THAT IT FUCKING WREAKS LIKE OLD SPICE". fluttersy then left her cottage in the woods and headed into the city of townsville to meet up with Twlight Sparkle.
on her way to meet up with tiwlight fluttershy vame across rainbow dash who was in a frustrated mood "HELLO DASH HOW ARE YOU TODAY" asked flutershy "well today i watched fritz the cat with cherilee and there was a scene were the police pig got his pants ripped off and his grotesque dongle was hanging out everywhere and i clopped off to it right in front of cherilee" said ranibow dash looking at the ground for meal worems. "THATS IS GOOD WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH ME TO" asked flutershy and so they both trottered off to the librarians to see their mutual friend.
They arrived the librare at O'800 hours on the buton. Rainbows dash broke down the dorr with raindow speed because that i8s how to open doors in cloudsdale and dish is a proud patyraiot. "hello fluttersby and rainbow daish do you how do" said twilght as carefully as possible. "TWILIGHT MOON I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY AND I THOUGH YOU SHOULD KNOW. I AM GOING TO GO TO SALT LICK CITY WHERE I AM TO TIE A BAG OF HORSE SHOES TO MY LEG AND JUMP INTO THE GREAT SALT LICK LAKE. I WILL DOWN AND SHRIVEL IN THE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NATURAL SALT AND I WILL BE PRESERVED BENEATH THE CRUEL TIDE WHERE I WILL BE UNEARTHED IN THE NEXT 10000 YEARS FOR SCIENTIFIC STUDY. THEY WILL PROBABLY USE WHAT IS LEFT OF ME TO SUSTAIN SMALL IODINE INSUFFICIENT MAMMALS SUCH AS: gUINEA pIGS" 4/2/2012 fluttershy was very serious as she was ready to face the void of deaf. "good idea flubbershy this will make for a good exoperiment in pony i will grab spike to come along with us" twilight went and grabbed spiek. rainbow dash yelped into the conversatio9n "i think i have a cat fetish. do you think there will be acats at salt pilt city i sore hope so"
fluttershy and spike and twilgiht hopped onto rainbows dish back and flew miles and miles away until they were salt lick city. they treckered on pawpad after dadsh broke her entire wing on a skycrasper building. it was a very long wqays to get ot the lake but it was very big so they found at it in five hours.
fluttershy ogt her shoe bag ready to go and tid her legs up ready to go. unfortunatel none of them knew bab dragons were a lerigc to salt ands spikr took and unsuspecyed trip over a big rock and fell into the lake. "this is very sad and very educational i will have to write this down in my notes" explaimed twilight as she wiped a tear with her foot. everybody watched painfly as spike shriveld up into an actual prune in the water "I THINK WE SHOULD GO BACK TO RARITIES BOOTEEK TO MUORN OUR LOSSES" cried gluttershy to the rising moon "i do not want to go to raritys home as i cannot clop to the thought of her cat opal who is far too fats form y fantasties" anounced rainbow dash.
authors note; i like to imagine that rainbow dash shares the asme fetishes as ido and it is m y gead cannon and i will not respond if you argue with me becaue you are a hater
"that is okay i will telelport me and flattershy to ponysville you can fly somewhere else" said twlight with sweat dripping down her flanks. it was a very hot night and they needed to go home. twilight telported them to raritys who they caught having phone sexual relationsghips with big macapple on the phone. rarity was very mad. "dont you know how to knock to pleebies im havign a very spedial conversation" she screamed and dropped the phone.
"RARITY YOUR BABY BOYFRIEND IS DEAD IN SALT LAKE"
end of chaper 1