Irrational Leave

The night was late, as Lady Stark of Winterfell rested in her bedchambers. Ned had been gone three days on his latest hunting trip. Catelyn had requested for search parties to look for her husband and his men. Unfortunately, everyone had reassured her that they would return with a bounty of food and he would un-harmed.

Today was the hardest day to get through. She has to calm Rob and Snow down. Both were teething and could sense her stress over their missing father. As soon as Jon was calmed she passed him back to the nurse and retreated. Resenting a child was not something she liked, but he reminded her of Ned too much and it was that child that dishonoured her family.
The day Lord Eddard had returned and presented her, shamefully, with his bastard son was one of her worst memories. She starred at his face, wordless, searching for an explanation. He didn't look at her, but at his feet, like a child being lectured about climbing the tower walls. He dared to look up and look in her eyes. That was her undoing. The guilt, sadness, regret and pleading emotions in his eyes made her collapse onto the ground trying to gasp for air that would not enter her lungs. Family, Duty, Honour were the words of her family. Ned had left his family for duty, but returned with a dishonour that broke her heart. They had not been married long, it was true, but the week before he left was one of the best of her life. Once she had collapsed, he took her in his arms and headed for her bedchambers. He held her while she cried, telling her Jon was not her responsibility, only his. All he asked of her was to accept it and live her life and not to abuse Jon, to at least try to look at him and see past his marking of a bastard.
Today it was hard for her too even look at her own son. She tried to avoid being around them. She prayed to the gods, old and new, tended to her tasks and attempted to break her fast. However, she couldn't. Everything she tried to eat was thrown back up within seconds. So now she rested in her chambers, on the command of Maester Luwin. She thanked the gods that her room was at least warm. If she felt cold right now, she couldn't imagine how much worse she would feel.

Soft knocks broke her thoughts of the cold that the North brought to her rooms. "My lady, I came to check on you." Maester Luwin said through the door.
"You may enter." She enjoyed the Maester's company, when he wasn't hovering. She was thankful the gods had kept him from disturbing her today. As he entered, he looked grave. He looked at her as she sat up on her bed, but looked away as their eyes met. It was no guess something has happened.
"Have you slept well m'lady?"
"I have. Has…" She didn't have to ask, he knew what she wanted answered.
"There is news of Lord Stark." She stopped breathing and water came to her eyes. Two years. That was all the gods allowed her with Ned. "He has returned… my lady, where are you going?" Catelyn ran for the door and down the stairs. She could hear Maester Luwin chasing after her, calling for her to return.
She ran for the stables and took her horse and rode out of the gate. Voices followed her, calling for her. "Lady Stark, wait!" "M'lady? Lord Stark..." He may have returned but she feared what his return brought. She could feel the wind brushing past her ears and through her hair and clothes. It was called and dark and she could barely see the road she was on. The commotion at Winterfell was loud and men were yelling commands. She thought his voice was there, calling the commands. But if he was harmed, he would be resting. Though, if he was not, why was Maester Luwin down cast when he came to her chamber? Has Ned brought home another child, was that why it took him so long to return? Or has many men been lost in a battle?
Catelyn slowed to a trot and looked back to her home. Torches were lit and moving around Winterfell. Men were heading in all directions. Dismounting, Catelyn patted her horse's cheek and moved into the forest. Not far in, it became even harder to see. She did not think it possible. Straining her ears to listen for anything approaching, Catelyn thought about why she had ran. Everyone thought her strong and brave. She couldn't comprehend, why she was acting irrationally. The last time she was like this, was just after her marriage to Ned. She had put it to being happy. Though, she was to marry his older brother, she was still overwhelmed by happiness. She was happy to be married, a child on the way and hope that her husband would return. All she wanted now was Ned; his comfort, strong embrace and his smile. The smile he reserved for her and his children. That would brighten her days and chase her fears. Yes, that is what she wanted now.
She had stopped walking, leaning against a tree when she heard footsteps. Looking around frantically, the noise stopped. "Hello?" She called, hoping it was someone to return her home. She thought it odd, that one of the men would not have a torch with them, or would be acting peculiar. "Who is there? I am Lady Stark of Winterfell, and demand you answer me." It was the best she could do. She had no sword, no bow or arrow. No dagger, axe or war hammer. She did not like violence. Her belief was rational talking could solve an issue. She decided to remount her horse and attempt to find her way home. When she was atop her horse, she thought she saw someone. Moving forward cautiously, the figure ran. Rearing on two legs, Catelyn was thrown from her horse, with all breath knocked out of her. She tried to sit up and screamed and the pain that ran through the back of her head and her ribs. Her hand immediately went to the pain in her side and she felt the stick that was there. Warm blood turned cold quickly in the air. "Can you see her?" The voice was familiar. "Lady Stark, can you hear us?" She didn't want to answer, she didn't want to scream and seem weak.
"Ser Rodrik, you go to the left, I will search straight. Maester you go right." Catelyn recognised Ned's voice. Attempting to stand, she fell back down, screaming as she landed on her side, pushing the stick further in. She heard rushed steps and saw the approaching flames. "Cat?"
"Ned…" Her voice was only a mumble, but apparently enough for him to spot her at the base of the tree, where she had landed. His hands were on her face as he kissed her forehead. She could feel the urgency in the touch, the shaking of fear in his movements and breath.
"My gods Cat, don't ever run, not even during the sun's rise."
"Thank the gods, Ned. I will round the men up." Ser Rodrik left as Ned searched for injuries. Catelyn attempted not to scream as Ned's hand ran over where the stick was.
"Maester Luwin, prepare a bed, there is blood."
"Yes, M'Lord."
"Rip it… out love" Catelyn said between breaths, "just take it out… the pain." She could feel Ned and Maester Luwin starring at her.
"Rip what out, love?" He attempted to find what she was talking about. Ned put and arm around her waist and lifted her. She leaned against him, but he used his strength to keep her up right.
"There my lord." Maester Luwin came closer and pointed to where the stick was only just visible. "We will have to cut in slightly to get it. Hurry, before infection spreads."
"Take my torch." Ned handed the Maester the torch and lifted Cat into his arms. The movement was painful and she gripped onto his clothing with her teeth, muffling her scream. As he moved, the pain was too much. He back ached and head throbbed. "Stay with me Cat, please." He was on the verge of tears. The fright of losing her and now seeing her in pain, was obviously too much for him. "I love you," he kissed her forehead, "please stay strong Cat, stay with me, don't leave me." His hold on her tightened, hugging her close. Maester Luwin helped set her on the horse as Ned mounted behind her. Catelyn drifted in and out of consciousness as they rode back home.