When You Mix Slurm with Open Wires
By I-am-E.L.F
(A/N: This is the first of a series of crossovers with TV, movies, and maybe a book.)
Chapter 1- A New Intern"I can't believe it!" gasped Leela. Everyone at the Planet Express was getting ready for a big event." Amy is actually graduating from Mars U in three hours!" Well, sorta.
"Yeah," said Bender. "Since her parent's bribed the grouchy dean into letting her graduate, she won't have to learn squat."
"I'm sure her parents didn't bribe the dean," said Hermes, combing his hair.
"I'm so glad my parents bribed Dean Vernon into letting me graduate!" squealed Amy, wearing her graduation gown and cap. "Now, I don't have to learn anymore!"
"Told ya," said Bender quietly to Hermes.
"You're lucky that you graduate from college," said Fry to Amy. "I always dropped out because it was too hard…and too exciting at the same time." Fry remembered his ride on the Coney Island Community College Ride…
"And here are the cheerleaders for the Coney Island Whitefish," said the man behind the speaker. "Here's the motto:
"(chanting)Who has the best rides in all the land? Coney! Island!
Who's got the crappiest college in the tri-county area? Coney! Island!" shouted the robotic cheerleaders.
Fry got out of the car and started kissing a redhead cheerleader.
"Hey!" said the repairman, working on a football player. "No making out with the robot!"
Fry sat back down
in his car, staring at the cheerleader.
"Oh, yeah…that takes me back," moaned Fry, happily.
"But this isn't good for me!" shouted the professor. "Now, I have to find a new intern!"
"You don't have to," said Amy. "I can still do it."
"Once an intern graduates from college, they are no longer interns, you moron!" said the professor. "I won't have the man across the street make fun of me because I'm intern-less. Guess I'll have to find a younger intern."
"After my graduation," said Amy. "Now, let's go! Kif's gonna be there and I don't want him to forget about me!"
"Welcome, graduating class of 3006," said Dean Vernon. "Most of you are here because of your hard-earned work and learning abilities. The rest of you are here because you're stupid and your parents bribed me into letting you graduate.
"Now, when I call you name, please come up here and receive, and don't burn, your diplomas."
"Aw, they got rid of that?" asked Bender.
"Ander Anderson…Deffex Apel…"
46 minutes later…
"Amy Wong…Xweekot Zafaran. Congratulations to our graduating Mars University class…of 3006."
Cheers and applause filled the room and all the graduates through their caps into the air. Everyone was happy…except for the professor, who still had the intern dilemma on his hands.
A few days later, Fry and Leela were in an old office, holding interviews for possible interns. So far, 134 people and aliens showed up, but no luck.
"This is too hard," whined Fry. "Can't I go pee first?"
"No," said Leela. "There's only two more applicants left." A nineteen year-old boy walked in wearing baggy jeans, a sweater, and had very long, greasy, black hair.
"Hey," he said. "My name's Michael Smith. I'm here for the intern application. Uh…" He stared at Leela's eye. "Can I ask you something?"
"Is it about my eye?" she asked him.
"Yeah. What's with it?"
"I'm a mutant who was raised up here on the surface. Now, what job experiences do you have?"
"Uh, I used to work at Fishy Joe's until I was 17, then I got a job testing Japanese video games for seizers. So far, I've only had 467."
"Hmmm…sorry. We're looking for people who've had more than 500 seizers," lied Fry.
"What?" asked Leela.
"Come back when you've had that many," said Fry. He pushed the teen out the door and into the street. "This is way too hard!"
"Do you have to say they have to have more than 500 of anything?" questioned Leela.
"It's the American way," said Fry.
Leela sighed. "Well, there's only one more applicant."
"Send 'em in," said Fry. A young girl with short blonde hair with red highlights wearing a black skirt and a blue t-shirt walked in.
"Hi," she said. "My name is Kyle Fox. I'm fifteen years-old. I'm going to be a sophomore in high school next year, but I'm here to get a summer job.Here's my resume." She handed Leela a resume.
"Impressive," said Leela.
"Hold on," said Fry. He looked down at the girl. "Do you have more than 500 of anything?"
"I have more than 500 dollars on a virtual pet site," said Kyle.
"Welcome aboard!" said Fry. "If there's anything you have, it's more than 500—"
"Shut up, Fry!" snapped Leela.
A couple of hours later…
"Okay, guys," said Leela. "If we want to win that rock contest, we need more people…and a song."
"How about something by the StinkMonkies?" asked Fry.
"Nah," said Leela. "After they bashed John Stamos, they're not so great."
"Oh yeah," said Fry. "Loving you… AHHHHHHH!"
"Hey," said Kyle, walking in. "What are you doing?"
"Go away, pipsqueak!" said Bender. Kyle was shorter than the others: 5 foot 5.
"I've only been here for two hours, and you guys treat me like—"
"Shut up!" said Bender.
Fry felt bad for her, and Leela was a little jealous. Kyle went into an empty room and felt alone. A sweet piano melody started playing in the background and she felt a song coming on…
She sang: (to the tune of "I'm A Jew" from South Park)
It's hard to be a teen girl in the future
The future's different from the 90's in many ways…
Instead of CD players, they have iPods with more than songs,
And instead of Jay an' Silent Bob, they have the heads of Cheech and Chong.
I can't talk about NSYNC cuz there's something wrong with me…
I'm a girl…a lonely girl…in the future.
3006 is nice, but why is it? That the future and the 90's are so different
When I walk down the street and talk leet, people say I'm out of luck.
And instead of saying messed up, people say I'm—
"Hey," said Fry, walking in. "Listen, I know it's hard to fit in here, but—"
"Who cares?" asked Kyle, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I don't belong here in the future."
"Wait. You're from the past? Just like me?" asked Fry. "Cool! What year were you frozen?"
"How'd you know I was frozen?"
"Trust me. I may be dumb, but Ise good at figuring out…stuff…s."
"I was frozen in 2005. My mom died of—"
"Geez! I didn't hear your life story," interrupted Fry. "Are you good at playing an instrument?"
"I can play the keyboard," said Kyle.
"How'd you like to be in our band?" asked Fry.
"Who and what's in it?"
"Bender's doing the drums, Leela's singing, I'm playing the holophoner, and you're playing the keyboard. We just need someone to play the guitar…"
"Good news, everyone!" said the professor, as he called everyone into his laboratory. "I have invented an invention that may be plausible to use, but it will become useful to a very smart person!"
"What the hell is it?" asked Bender.
"I don't know," said the professor. "The only way we can be sure is to LEAVE IT ALONE! Remember the box?"
Everyone nodded their heads except Kyle.
"What bo—"
"So don't screw around with it, anyone!" The professor walked away, and so did everyone else…except Wingus and Dingus.
"Give ya a Slurm if you do the doggie-dance," said Bender, waving around a can of Slurm. Fry snatched it, opened it, drank some, then danced around like he was drunk…but sober. He didn't know, however, that the tube-like invention had some open wires hanging out of it, and Fry's Slurm can was pretty full.
One swing of the green drink and—
ZZZZAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!
The wires were going nuts, and electricity was spewing out the ends.
Kyle ran in. "What the fudge is going—"
White smoke filled the room. When it started to clear, five shadow-like figures stood in the room.
"What the hell?" asked one of them with a male voice. Fry, Bender, and Kyle kept coughing.
'What just happened?' thought Fry.