Author's Note: In this story Natalia was never the mole and Marisol died in a different. The story is inspired by the song 45 by Shinedown

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Miami or any of these characters

Chapter 1: Keep these feelings, no one knows

Eric Delko should be happy. He had everything anyone could ever want. He had a beautiful fiancee, a job that he loved and great friends. He should be the happiest guy in the world. But he wasn't. There was something that was bothering him. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. Oh yeah, maybe it was the fact that he was in love with his co-worker. He was in love with Ryan Wolfe. He didn't know why and he couldn't figure out when it had started, but he knew that it was real and that it was powerful. That wasn't the only problem. His fiancee happened to be Natalia Boa Vista who also worked at the Miami Dade Crime Lab with him and Ryan. Further complicating the situation was the fact that Ryan and Natalia had dated for 6 months. This was definitely the most complicated situation he'd ever been in. But in another way it was also very easy. He and Ryan were not on the best of terms and he was positive that Ryan didn't feel the same way he did. So if he told Ryan how he felt he'd just end up humiliated. He knew that was not a situation that could end well. He also knew that if his parents ever found out that he was bi they would probably disown him. They were very strict Catholics and they would not approve of that. He should probably just marry Natalia. He did love her after all. He just didn't love her as much as he loved Ryan. And he wasn't sure that was fair to Natalia. His only solution was to get Natalia to put off the wedding for a while. This whole situation was reeking a lot of havoc on him. He was stressed out and he was very irritable. Keeping this secret was ruining him but he knew there was no one he could trust with it.

Eric made his way to the morgue to get the autopsy results on his hit-and-run victim. He wasn't really in the mood for work today. In fact it didn't seem like he was ever in the mood for work anymore because he knew that if he went to work there was a chance he would have to see Ryan and he just couldn't handle that anymore. His feelings for Ryan had only deepened in the weeks after his and Natalia's engagement. He wasn't even sure why he had proposed to Natalia. He just did. And now every time he saw Ryan he was reminded of exactly why he was in love with him. He would try to take his mind off Ryan but images of Ryan followed him everywhere. It didn't matter where he was or what he was doing. He used to think that he could get away from Ryan in his dreams but now Ryan was the only thing he dreamed of. He even thought about Ryan when he was with Natalia. He decided then and there that his new solution to get his mind off of Ryan would be to immerse himself in his work. That might be able to get his mind off Ryan- unless, of course, he had to work with Ryan. Speaking of Ryan, there he was. He was coming out of the morgue and there was no way Eric could get into the morgue without passing Ryan. This was exactly the kind of situation he wanted to avoid.

"Hey, Eric!" said Ryan excitedly "What's up?"

"Oh, I'm here to get autopsy results. What about you?"

"Same. So Eric I haven't had a chance to talk to you about your engagement yet. Just so you know I've got no harsh feelings about Natalia. It never would have worked out between us anyways. She was also too into you and I knew only you could make her happy, so I'm happy things worked out between the two of you."

"O.K. " said Eric. He was actually really upset about what Ryan had said. This meant it would be almost impossible to end things with her if worst came to worst or if the best-case scenario happened. Ryan also actually said he was happy for Eric and Natalia. Hearing Ryan say he was happy that he was getting married hurt him very deeply. Hearing that Ryan wasn't even a bit upset about his marriage drove him almost to the point of tears

"Anyways, I just wanted to make sure you knew. Bye."

"Bye." whispered Eric quietly as Ryan walked away. He walked into the morgue, slamming the door open so hard it hit the wall and made a huge bang. Alexx turned around inquisitively."Eric what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Eric, you slammed open the door to the morgue and right now you're almost crying. So what's wrong? Did something happen with Ryan?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Eric, whatever happened to you must have been recent and Ryan just left the morgue. So what happened? Did you two get in another fight?"

"No. Nothing like that."

"Did he say something to you?" Eric did not respond and Alexx knew that meant Ryan had said something.

"What did he say?" Eric did not respond again.

"Ohhhh.. Eric did you tell him... about how you feel?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Eric , I'm not stupid and I'm not blind. I know that you're in love with him. So did you tell him?"

"No, I didn't tell... but I want to. I'm just scared."

"Eric, you have to tell him. You can't get married until you tell him."

"Why should I bother? He's just going to laugh at me. It's obvious he doesn't feel the same as I do. It'll just wreck everything."

"Eric, I can't tell you for sure that he feels the same way you do, but I have the same inclining I had with you. Just give it a try. You either have to tell him or tell Natalia, but you can't go through with the wedding until you tell him how you feel."