Easy Action

prologue

...

Wade found himself healing in various places – the scars were still there but not as bad and he was actually growing his hair back. Kinda. He didn't have to hide his entire body in public, nor his eyes but he did have to cover up his face a little. He had to practice using cover up, foundation and various other feminine products in order to fit in a bit better. And a hat. Because he was still almost completely bald. See Stryker: bastard who was next on the merc-with-a-mouth's list once he found him. Him and the two brothers who so kindly chopped his head off and left him to rot beneath all of that crap.

After the disaster on Three Mile Island, Wade had found that yes, his head did reattach to his body and yes for fuck's sake, Stryker the bastard that he was, shaved him. He was no longer the sexy merc with a mouth. He was the bald, scarred up merc with a mouth. Actually, for a time, he wasn't even a merc with a mouth. Stryker, yet again the bastard that he was, had sewn his mouth shut.

Upon awakening under an enormous pile of rubble, Wade's body took upon itself to start fixing the shit that had gone wrong – his mouth regenerated and was actually functional almost instantaneously.

By the time his wounds, his head and mouth had regenerated to full capacity, he'd had to dig his way from under his rubble entrapment. Authority figures had swarmed what remained of Stryker's top secret facility and the devil himself was nowhere to be found. Wade had had to sneak out of Three Mile slyly, hiding in the back of a police cruiser. Later on, of course, as per Wade's nature, the police officer who drove the vehicle out to block any incoming traffic wasn't found but there was a slickness on the steering wheel that had been discovered to be eyeball matter.

Now, currently, Wade was eating what was probably the greasiest burger in New York, treated by the unknowing and very much dead cop. He would have preferred sushi but New York was too expensive for him to be able to afford some raw fish wrapped in rice and seaweed. He was stuck with about a pound of brown dyed lard and a crappy, fall apart burger bun and fries made of potatoes from hell. The grease and fat of the burger dripped onto the paper wrapping it had come in and the small wrap of fries were way too salty for anyone who wasn't starving to actually consume. Luckily, Wade was starving and personally sick of IVs.

While stuffing his face with dearly missed food – edible and solid – he spotted a head of white hair on the street. However, the white hair wasn't attached to a little old lady with some 'tude. It was on a young girl – young woman actually – around her late teens, early twenties. She looked like she was about seventeen. She moved through the crowds like a fish through water; seamless and practiced. So practiced in fact that Wade almost missed her hand flash to a man's back pocket before she fell several steps behind him. Wade whistled approvingly and ignored the looks from other patrons in the diner. Some fast hands.

Her skin color was brown – not dark but actually quite light, a lighter shade than an iced mocha. Her features, while they hadn't been visible for long, revealed that she was African American and something else. The way her nose, eyes, mouth and neck all fit together made it clear that there was something in there. Kenyan? Egyptian? Something.

She haunted the spot near the diner, probably about a block in circumference, so much that Wade took to calling her Fast Hands. Or Speedy Gonzalez, but the picture of her wearing a sombrero wasn't even funny. It just disturbed him. So, Wade kept to calling her Fast Hands, which of course brought up a whole new plethora of interesting themes and ideas. He, being the gentleman that he was, totally kept this to himself.

She moved around the crowds like a salmon upstream, slid past them like a snake on a vine, stealing their paychecks, credit cards and dollars right under their noses. Women, men, those with backpacks or purses, fanny packs even and those who kept their wallet in their back pocket or on a chain – she left no one untouched.

Her white hair was stark and bright beneath the sky and Wade found himself studying how she moved. She moved like other thieves – fast, precise and sly. She could be a coy thing when she wanted, and quite ballsy. Wade watched, entertained when she ran into a police officer who almost caught her in her deed before she laughed and charmed the older man, making gestures with her hands, before Miss Fast Hands moved quick and pulled a Houdini when the cop tipped his hat and went on his way. She had his wallet stuffed into her large, floppy weaved bag before the figure of authority had fully turned away.

Wade had counted up to thirteen wallets, including the cop's and he supposed she was done for a while when she began to flow with the crowd, no longer going against it but instead smoothly blending in with the rest of the herd.

Wade snickered. These people were walking targets. Buncha idiots, the whole troop of the law-abiding suckers. Ripe picking for mischievous girls like Fast Hands over yonder.

Fast Hands walked into the diner and hefted herself up on the stool on the milkshake bar before she ordered a basket of waffle fries and a chocolate malt with the hefty waitress behind the counter taking her order. Wade grinned, she was right in front of him. That white hair was long but she started to braid it, pulling it away from her face while she waited for her order. Surveying the spot she'd chosen for a watering hole, she met Wade's eyes.

Fast Eyes had big ol' baby blues – all sparkly like. They were calculating and inquiring. Wade smiled his kinda sorta good guy smile at her and waved a bit. She smiled back a bit, shaky like she wasn't used to smiling and waved back a bit but turned to the waitress when she came back with her drink and snack.

Wade caught one of the older male customers who had been eating steak and eggs shooting him a disproving look. Wade's smile turned feral; like a hyena's.

The man choked on his steak and turned his eyes from Wade.

Wade leaned back against the back of the booth he was sitting in and stared blatantly at the back of Fast Hands and thought about the vibes he kept getting from her. Besides the ability to rob you blind, there was something else there – something that pretended to subtle when really it was blaringly loud but it tricked you into thinking it was nothing anyway; like a static shock. Wade used the condensation from his glass of water to write out Stryker's name before he slashed through it viciously.

His common sense tingled when a shadow fell over him.

Wade looked up and saw little miss Fast Hands standing over him. Big ol' baby blues were all hesitant like he might bite. Wade paused and thought about that. Well, for her, he just might.

"Hey there girly, something on your mind?" he honestly hadn't meant for that to come out as lasciviously as it had. But it did. So there. The girl looked like he had traumatized her and if they hadn't been in a diner full of witnesses; Wade thought he'd probably laugh like the devil and then kiss her. She was adorable, but she unconsciously brought out the hidden pedophile in him apparently.

She shook her head and shuddered before she coughed and spoke. "I know you saw me out on the street." She hesitated and waited for him to say something.

He did. Regrettably. "Last night? No, but if I had, I assure you, you'd have trouble walking today." Oops. Down inner pedophile. Her eyes widened and her face paled but she didn't budge an inch, which was a good thing considering that even if he was out of a job, he still had instincts like chase! And catch! And kill! And kidnap! He smiled. "Sorry 'bout that."

She blinked and her mouth opened and closed but she found nothing she could say but she nodded tightly. "I meant"-

"I know what ya meant and you're wondering whether or not I'm gonna blab, correcto?" Wade's smiled stretched. "Nah Fast Hands, I'm a loudmouth but I got my limits. We all gotta earn a livin'." She nodded tightly again. "What's your name Fast Hands?"

"Not Fast Hands," she sent him a mildly annoyed look that had him laughing despite the looks he was getting. He was rarely ashamed. Probably as bad as Victor in that aspect. Oh ew. She wasn't saying anything else.

"Well, mah dear, I'm Wade." He looked at her and he started to calculate something. There it was. That off center vibe – maybe a chill in the air. Whatever it was, it was coming from her. Mutant. He knew it. He just needed to prove it. Why? She may come in handy. That, and until he found any word on Stryker's whereabouts, he was going to be so bored. It was cruel to die, even crueler to be bored.

She pursed her lips, "Ororo." There it was. When she said her name, Wade could hear her accent slip through a little more. Swahili.

He smiled, "That's an awful mouthful. I'll call you 'Ro or 'Roro. Or Roo." She gave him a flat stare and stared wide eyed. He laughed. He opened his mouth to say something else that was crafty and witty and dashing and hilarious beyond belief but he spotted her. The bitch. Stryker's scientist. The butcheress. "Gotta go 'Ro, catch ya later." He stood and towered over Ororo, and they watched one another for a moment, conscious on his part but not on hers. Deciding and weighing the danger presented; firguring out how much the other represented. The corner of her left eye twitched and she backed up. She watched him warily. She'd been on the streets long enough to know danger. Danger! Danger Will Robinson!

Wade smiled again at her but it was that hyena smile he was quite good at instead. He exited the diner and felt her stare a hole into his back. He haunted the footsteps of Stryker's scientist and followed her up until he came upon a very exclusive hotel. He looked up, up, up. The hotel wouldn't let him in because one, he didn't have any money, two he looked like a crazy bastard anyway and three, he so wasn't dressed to enter.

So, he'd have to scale that pretty white and gold building and hunt that scientist whore down. He smiled. He totally missed his job.

…

So this is hopefully going to be story, like one I'll update and take care of and feed and junk. I hope. I'm bad at that. Anyway, to anyone who actually read this crap, I hope it was kind of well received. I know that in the movie the little girl in the village with the white hair was probably supposed to be Storm, but Scott was quite a bit older and it doesn't look like they were that many years apart in the other movies sooo that was changed in here. Also, Wade's attitude is based off of both movie and comic so it's like a weird hybrid. I don't think I'll let him break the fourth wall though…

And as for Victor...I love him, I do, especially Liev's version, so he'll be coming in shortly.

Feedback is always pleasant.