I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters except for those I made for the Misfits. Just another mad fun little fic about the crazy things that go on in the Misfit house!
If You Give Xi A Cookie…
It all started when Lance was simply walking out of his room to the kitchen downstairs to get a soda. The next thing he knew something threw him to the ground. He looked up and saw Xi appearing on his chest. "Hello," Xi said casually as he sat on top of Lance.
"Can I help you Xi?" Lance asked sarcastically.
"I'm practicing my pouncing," Xi informed him.
"Oh," Lance said as if this was the most casual thing in the world.
"I've noticed that my pouncing reflexes have been slightly lax lately," Xi continued. "They are a tenth of a thousandth slower than they usually are. So today I will practice them."
"Oh really?" Lance said. "That's interesting. Xi, can I get up now?"
"Of course," Xi stood up. "I will go pounce some more." He turned invisible.
"Oh goody…" Lance sighed. "That's nice to know. SPIRIT!"
He went to Spirit's room. He seemed to be engaged in some kind of contest with the Blind Master. Both were throwing knives at a target and Spirit was blindfolded. "Uh guys…I hate to interrupt your contest here but…Xi's kind of…"
"BANZAI!" Blind Master shouted as he hit the bull's eye.
"Okay how did you know that?" Spirit lifted up his blindfold.
"I know," Blind Master grinned. "You have to take a drink."
"Fine," Spirit poured himself a shot of liquor and drank. "I am going to beat you one of these days!"
"Not today!" Blind Master grinned as he took a drink. "I love these new rules! Oh Lance did you want to say something?"
"Never mind…" Lance sighed as he left the room. He went to Althea's room instead. "Al…." He stopped cold at what he saw.
"Hey Lance," Althea said casually as she and Wanda were tying Pietro up with duct tape.
"Hey," Lance said watching the scene. "Uh…did anybody give Xi cookies today?"
"Yup," Wanda remarked as she kept taping her brother up. "Pietro did."
"Oh," Lance nodded. "Well that explains the duct tape."
"No actually this is for something else," Wanda said. "Let's just say my brother doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut."
"MMMMMFFFFFFHHHH!" Pietro tried to scream. A look of sheer panic was in his eyes.
"Okay," Lance did an about face. "I think I'm going to go downstairs now."
"Hey as long as you're down there check on the laundry will ya?" Althea told him.
"Yeah okay," Lance reluctantly went down to the laundry room.
On the way he passed Trinity's room. He saw electric sparks coming out from under the door and heard the girl's insane laughter. "SOON IT WILL BE DONE!"
The girls squealed together.
"IT'S ALIVE! ALIVE I TELL YOU!" Brittany shouted.
"Not yet but after we give it more juice it will be!" Daria said.
"Pass me that positronic laser will ya?" Quinn said.
The surge of electricity and insane laughter sent chills down Lance's spine."I'm not even gonna ask what they're doing!" He ran to the laundry room as fast as he could. "What the…?"
Inside were some of the washers and dryers moving around like crazy. They all had numbers painted on the sides. Shipwreck, Todd, Fred and Low Light were cheering them on. "COME ON NUMBER FIVE!" Shipwreck shouted out. "DADDY NEEDS SOME CASH!"
"What is going on here?" Lance asked.
"We're having washer and dryer races," Todd told him. "Wanna bet on the next race?"
"Does Roadblock or Al know you're doing this?" Lance asked.
"If they did would we be down here?" Low Light asked. "ALL RIGHT I WON!"
"Aw nuts!" Shipwreck groaned.
"Uh guys you do know one of them's overloaded?" Lance pointed to one. Soap was coming out.
"Well that's what makes them shake extra," Fred told him.
"Besides we were supposed to clean the floor anyway," Shipwreck shrugged. "Hey maybe we can get the babies and give them a bath!"
"We could take a bath too this way," Todd remarked. "I'll get 'em!"
"I am out of here!" Lance did his third about face of the day and went back upstairs.
Where he was promptly tackled by an invisible Xi again. "Still pouncing?" Lance asked casually.
"Yes," Xi reappeared. "Everyone else seems to have vanished."
"Check down in the laundry room," Lance remarked. "Lots of people down there."
"Okay!" Xi ran off happily.
"And I used to think things were nuts when we were all living at the Brotherhood House," Lance groaned as he got up. He went to the kitchen where he saw Roadblock and Cover Girl dueling with wooden spoons. "I had no clue…"
"I am Kitchen Master Supreme!" Roadblock shouted.
"Oh please!" Cover Girl snapped. "Prepare to eat dirt!"
"Is there a problem here?" Lance asked.
"Nah we're just trying to decide what to do about dinner tonight," Roadblock told him. "STIR FRY SURPRISE!"
"PIZZA!" Cover Girl snapped.
"PIZZA IS TOO GREASY! WE NEED HEALTHY FOOD!" Roadblock shouted.
"PIZZA IS HEALTY!"
"NOT THE WAY YOU COOK IT!"
"TAKE THAT BACK!" Cover Girl then started to throw food at him. As the two adults started a food fight, Lance quickly grabbed a soda and snuck out of the kitchen to the living room.
"I'm telling you sometimes it feels like I'm the only sane person in this place!" Lance groaned as he plopped down on the couch and drank some soda.
"I hear you," Lance's imaginary Coyote said as he sipped his tea. "You really should try this Earl Grey. It's fantastic."
"No I'm happy with this," Lance sighed. "It's like no one even cares how out of control things are around here."
"Things do tend to get a little out of hand around here don't they?" Coyote agreed.
"I'm having one of my psychotic hallucination spells aren't I?" Lance sighed.
"Oh yeah," Coyote nodded. "Big time."
"Well that's just peachy," Lance sighed, resigned to his fate.
"WANDA NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Pietro screamed from upstairs. "XI GET OFF ME! I AM NOT YOUR POUNCING TOY!"
"Could be worse," Coyote said. "You could be Pietro."
"You have a point," Lance nodded as he drank his soda. "Cheers."
"Salute!" Coyote grinned as mayhem reigned supreme.