Who's there?!

Saphira jerked awake, hitting her shiny, blue head on a conrete wall. Ow... she murmered, her head throbbing.

Who the fuck is there?! I'm not afraid to attack you!

Saphira, completely ignoring her injured head, got up. But to only be thrown down again by some kind of chain. Ow... she murmered again, as her legs pulsed with pain. She shook her head, and the voice shrilled again,

Who's there? Oh...Please...Be Murtagh...

Saphira blinked. It was vaguely familer...

Thorn? she peeped curiously.

Yes. Are you Murtagh? Thorn replied gleefully.

No, I am not Murtagh. I'm Saphira.

Oh. The rip-off's dragon.

Eragon is not a rip-off!

Oh please. Eragon is such a rip-off of Aragon.

No way!

Yep. If you don't-

Suddenly, lights burst on. The small room was a musty, dirty bathroom-like place. There was a huge mirror almost running the whole length of the wall. Mold and mildew were collecting under neath some of the tiles. Saphira saw Thorn huddled in a corner. His scales shone in the light of the lights. His fangs glistened like pearls. A huge, black rat scampered behind a huge bathtub in the middle of the huge warehouse bathroom.

Where the hell are we? Thorn squeaked nervously.

I don't know. It seems all too familer, though. Like I've seen this before... Saphira answered, inspecting the room.

Saphira...We're chained. Thorn bekoned to a chain that was locked onto his legs. Saphira's heart fluttered; she was scared that something might hurt them.

Whoa, really? I didn't know that. Saphira snorted sarcastically.

You can breath fire, right?

No, I breath ice.

I'm serious, Saphira.

All right, all right. Don't be such a whiner. I can breath fire. How 'bout you?

I can. I was thinking maybe we could melt the metal off?

Saphira?

Are you dead?

YOU'RE AN IDIOT. MELTING THE FRIGGIN' METAL???!!! YOU'RE SO STUPID!

At least I made a suggestion, when you're just sitting on your ass doing nothing!

You shut the-

"Hello, Saphira and Thorn," a cold voice rang out throughout the room. "You must be wondering why you're here. I just want to play a little game," the voice paused, probably to either get a breath or let the horror sink in. "Uh...You're breathing in a deadly nerve gas. You see those Mountain Dew bottles on the ground next to you? They contain the antidote. Either drink them or die. Uh...See you!"

Thorn looked at Saphira. What the hell... he said, his eye twitching. Saphira shrugged her shoulders. Or maybe she doesn't have any shoulders. I guess she just shrugged her bulk.

You know, Saphira, Thorn hesitated, I was just thinking...We're dragons. Couldn't we just listen to logic and just break ourselves free? Just give the chains a good yank and get out of here?

But that would totally defeat the purpose of this being a horror-themed fanfic!

Wait...This is scarey?

"Dude and dudette, you have to make your decision! Either drink the antidote or die!" the voice yelled, sounding strikingly like a collage frat boy. Saphira rolled her eyes, and bought herself to claw the two Mountain Dew bottles towards her.

Here, she said, passing one of them to Thorn.

Thorn opened his first. It didn't even fizzle. It didn't fizzle to my schizzle (Sorry, I just had to add that!). Oh. My. God. The fuckin' horror. Thorn gaspe and then dropped the bottle, spilling the antidote all over the floor.

You idiot! Saphira screamed. She glared at Thorn with disgust.

What? We can still share your bottle.

Fuck that! Its mine! Saphira snorted, but then the bottle "slipped" out of her claws and landed on the floor and rolled towards the middle of the room. Thorn and Saphira glared at each other. Huge red letters appeared in the air, spelling out,

FIGHT!

Saphira lunged at the center, only to be jerked back by the chains. Thorn chose a more "practial" course.

Let the Force be with me! Thorn tried in vain to get the bottle by using the Force, but it wasn't working. Saphira smirked at his failed adempts to get the bottle.

Beam it up, Scotty. Saphira said smugly. The bottle dissapeared, then appeared back in Saphira's claws.

Damn! Thorn slapped the ground. I always knew Star Trek was better!

That was fun. Anyway, I'll share with you. Oh, what's that, your a Star Wars fanboy? Oh...In that case, I'll be guzzlin' this life-saver for meself.

NOOOOOO! Thorn screamed.

Saphira giggled like a Teletubby, then opened the Mountain Dew bottle, and drank it all in one glup. "OH MY GOD! Dude, look, look, look!"

A TV in the wall turned on, and there was frat boys laughing hestercially at the blue dragon.

"Holy shit! She drank your urine, dude!"

"See, I told you this would work!"

Saphira dropped the bottle, and it crashed onto the floor. Thorn sniggered.

What did it taste like? he laughed.

I hate you.

Teehee. And by the way, the two frat boys represent a story I read on the Internets about these guys who got someone to drink their own urine. Gross, but entertaining. Yes, there will be more retardism. Is that even a word? Look out for new chapters!


Peeace. (Horrible pun, I know. I'm running out of ideas.)