Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Naruto, Deadpool or Anything Else That May Have Made Its Way Into This Fanfic. Except the plot, that's mine unless someone else did it before me, then it's not.
Hello everybody! I'd just like to let everyone know that this is my first attempt at fan fiction so reviews would be awesome! Anyway I got the idea for Breaking the Fourth Wall while talking to a friend about what makes Deadpool so cool (at work of all places) and it wouldn't leave my head, so I figured I'd write it down. Originally it was just going to be a fic about everyone's favorite emo Sasuke, but then I started getting funny ideas for other characters so I figured I'd make it a series of one shots based on the stars of Naruto (big and small) taking turns breaking the fourth wall, just like my favorite anti-hero Deadpool, but then it ran away from me so it's an actual series but they'll be jumping between several characters along with Deadpool. Well enough with this damn AN so on with the story! Enjoy!
Breaking the Fourth Wall pt 1
Sasuke 1
Today we find Team Hawk enjoying a beautifully peaceful sunny day. Well, at least three of them are enjoying the day. Yes of the four adolescents that make up Team Hawk, one of them is currently lying in the dirt in near exhaustion.
Why you ask? Well one word should sum it up to you quite nicely, and that word is training. Yes, we find one Sasuke Uchiha lying face down in the dirt, taking a good dirt nap. Now why isn't he out enjoying the water like Suigetsu and Karin, or feeding the ducks like Jugo? Well it probably has to do with the self-proclaimed avenger's need to become strong enough to avenge his fallen clan and destroy Konoha, the village hidden in the leaves, even if it's their own fault that the Third and his advisors ordered his older brother to take out his clan to protect the very village. But anyway, enough with the history lesson I've got a story to narrate.
Sasuke began to stir from his fatigue-induced slumber, as if waking due to someone's inconsiderately loud talking.
"No shit Sherlock! Whatever gave you that idea?" Sasuke grumbled as he returned to the world of the waking.
"Suigetsu, what have I told you about narrating your pathetic life?! I won't give you another warning!" Sasuke yelled at Suigetsu, even though the latter was nowhere near him.
"What do you mean…?" Sasuke cut his question short as he realizes that he is indeed alone in his impromptu training ground. As the duck-ass haired youth begins to-
"MY HAIR DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A DUCK'S ASS!" Sasuke yells to no one, even though I have to disagree with him because his hair does indeed look like a ducks ass.
"IT DOES NOT!" He yells, even though it does.
"DOES NOT!" Does too
"DOES NOT!" Does to- Aww screw this I aint gonna play your damn games you spoiled brat!
"Who are you calling a spoiled brat?!" Sasuke yells to the air, but I choose to ignore him to move the story ahead.
"What story?!" he yell to no one again, and as he goes to open his mouth to ask another completely story hindering question Karin walks into the clearing with a confused and concerned look on her face.
"Sasuke-kun? Who are you talking too?" She asks in a tone that Sasuke secretly enjoys but would never say out loud in order to keep his air of superiority, cough,emo,cough!
"Karin, did you hear that?" He asks Karin who still has confused and concerned look on her face that make Sasuke just want to kiss it.
"Hear what Sasuke-kun?" She asks while sensing around for chakra sources, but finding none other than hers, Sasuke's and the rest their team. Sasuke just looks at her in disbelief, finding it hard that he's hearing a voice that she can't .
"There, just now, don't tell me you didn't here that!" Sasuke all but yells at Karin.
"Sasuke-kun, are you feeling alright?" Karin asked him, refusing to believe that Sasuke could finally be losing what was left of his fragile mind.
"MY MIND IS NOT FRAGILE YOU BASTARD! WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Sasuke yells to the heavens completely ignoring the fact that Karin is now making a mad dash back to the relative safety of the rest of the team. A smart choice on her part because Sasuke is now destroying everything in his immediate area looking for the source of the mysterious voice he thinks he's hearing.
"I AM NOT IMAGINING ANYTHING YOU COWARDLY PEACE OF TRASH! SHOW YOURSELF BEFORE I BECOME TRULY ANGRY!" He yells to the imaginary voice. Seriously, what's he gonna do, turn into the Hulk? I don't think so. The closest he can do is his second level curse seal state.
-xXx-
But now we're going to leave the Emo King to his temper tantrum and instead see what the rest of Team Hawk is up to.
"And when I asked him if he was alright he shouts 'MY MIND IS NOT FRAGILE YOU BASTARD! WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!' It's like he's really thinks he is talking to someone." Karin says to Suigestu and Jugo.
"Maybe Sasuke-sama was talking to someone." Jugo replies.
"That's the thing though, when I tried to sense if anyone was nearby the only chakra sources I felt were ours. There was no one else there." Karin explained to her now stumped teammates.
"So Sasuke's finally gone over the deep end? Huh, it was only a matter of time before it happened I mean come how messed up-" Was as far as Suigetsu got before Karin clubbed him over the head leaving a nice sized goose egg.
"Don't talk like Sasuke-kun's gone nuts! Maybe he's just tired, I mean he has been training awfully hard today. And today has been warmer than usual." Karin defended Sasuke.
"I think we should speak to Madara-sama about Sasuke-sama's strange behavior." Jugo suggested, while completely ignoring Karin and Suigetsu's actions.
After some more boring talking and a few more hits to Suigetsu by Karin they agree on the plan and go to speak to the leader of Akatsuki, Madara Uchiha.
-xXx-
As the three members of Team Hawk walk towards the room that founder of the Uchiha clan would be located in said the other Uchiha was again face down in the dirt due to chakra exhaustion. The pompous avenger had turned the surrounding forest into a barren wasteland devoid of life in the span of thirty minutes.
Unknown to the teen though there was a man dressed in a red and black uniform and mask with two swords crossed on his back to form an "X" and wearing a tactical belt with a multitude of equipment admiring the destruction he caused.
"Hey, CaptDutchboy? I think you're forgetting something?" He says. Though I don't believe I am.
"Um, yeah, you are." He replies to me. Though I'm pretty sure I'm not.
"Capt your forgetting my yellow speech bubbles." He states in a matter of fact tone, which I indeed did forget. You happy now Deadpool.
"Yup, now that I got my yellow buddy back, I'm A-OK." Deadpool says to me happily. Now where was I?
"You were saying how I was admiring the kid's flair for destruction." Deadpool answers me. Oh now I remember. Thank you.
"You're welcome Capt." He says.
Anyway, Deadpool was standing at the edge of the wasteland, thinking how he couldn't do it any better himself.
"You give him too much credit Dutchboy. I could do way better, just give some explosives and a 26,000 pound elephant or two." He states with a hint of pride. Though I must ask what the elephants are for.
"Oh, no use, none at all. It's not like I was gonna feed them frozen nitroglycerin and send them out to fight while it melts in their stomachs. Nope that was not my idea at all." He states in an innocent voice that doesn't fool me one bit, but I choose to ignore it. It's Deadpool after all.
"Yup I'm Deadpool after all- HEY, WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN? Aww never mind. I don't wanna know. You can continue." He says. Thank you and I think I will.
Deadpool was admiring the raw potential that the young Uchiha had when an idea struck him.
"Huh, what idea? I don't have any ideas right now… oh yeah that idea, I got ya. Maybe I can find a young fresh faced side kick with this kid. Hmmm now all I need is a test… YES! I got the PERFECT test for this baby-faced socially inept mayhem maker. Um, what was the test again you mighty voice you?" he asks me. Come closer and listen closely Deadpool. Now this is the test. I whisper the test into his ear and you can see the sparkles shining off of his eyes.
"Are you really gonna let me do that Boss?" he asks me with his voice full of hope and I think a little bit of…Deadpool, what else is in your voice?
"A frog?" he asks. Never mind, I don't wanna know.
"Okay, but I tell ya if ya really wanted to know." He says to me. No I'm alright Deadpool. I don't need to know.
Now let's catch up to the rest of the team formerly known as Team Snake.
-xXx-
Team Hawk walked up to Madara's study door and knocked. After getting permission to enter from the other side they walked in, albeit a little nervous, I mean come on, it's only one of the most powerful shinobi to ever walk the earth. The only shinobi that was rumored to have enslaved the mighty Nine-tailed Fox, greatest of all the bijuu to battle the shodai hokage at the valley of the end. Nope, no pressure. None at all.
When they were given the go ahead to speak Karin recounted the entire Sasuke talking to me, I mean nobody event. To say Madara was surprised was an understatement, though he hid it well.
"Are you saying that my descendent appeared to be speaking to apparently nothing? That perhaps he's going crazy, insane in the membrane, he's as sharp as a bowling ball, one fry short of a happy meal, a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on, an intellect rivaled only by garden tools, as quick as a tortoise on Prozac, doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box, goes surfing in Nebraska, million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine, so on so forth. Perhaps it's a possibility. They say insanity runs in the family. I'll look into it. You all may leave." After leaving Madara's study Suigetsu was the first to speak.
"If you asked me I think both the surviving Uchiha are off their rockers." He ever so charmingly phrased it. And for once Karin agreed with him.
"Yeah, I think Sasuke-kun may have finally gone off the deep-end." She stated sadly. But Jugo would hear none of it.
"You two should have more faith in Sasuke-sama. I believe something fishy is going on, no offense Suigetsu, and it's up to us to figure out what." With that Jugo lead the rest of the team to search for the reason behind Sasuke's newly acquired strange behavior.
-xXx-
Meanwhile back in Madara's study said person was trying desperately to remove that ugly orange swirly mask.
"Why…Won't…You…Come…Off…You…Disgustingly…Orange…Piece…Of…Shit! And with one last mighty tug the orange lollipop shaped mask came off with a disgusting squelch that echoed off the walls of the room. From the position that he was sitting the shadows covered his face perfectly. Then he reaches into his Akatsuki cloak and removes another mask, apparently made of spandex and-
"Aw come on, enough with the stalling Capt, I'm pretty sure they figured out who the hell I am by now! Seriously, with the way you've been describing in more detail than usual me taking that ugly ass mask off and pulling out my other mask and what it's made of, seriously. Give them some credit when credit's due." Who has prematurely been revealed to be Deadpool posing as Madara.
"Now, I think I'll pay a little visit to Sasuke-coon. Ha get it? Coon instead of kun. Ha I'm a riot!" Deadpool says as he leaves the elder Uchiha's study in search of Sasuke.
-xXx-
It's about this time that Sasuke wakes up from his chakra induced coma only to notice that he no longer hears the voice that got him so worked up earlier. Good thing too, because I was getting tired of that little punk's mouth.
"I can still hear you. Just so you know." He says. Wait! What! Oh right I forgot… part of the story…hehehe, my bad. Anyway, he can still hear the voice from earlier, though he seems to be trying to ignore it. That's fine I guess I won't accidentally reveal to him how Naruto keeps getting stronger than him. His loss, not mine.
"Hn, I already know about the fox. That's no loss." He arrogantly replies, even though that's not the true reason.
"Hn, if that's not the real reason then what is? Humor me." He demands with flair.
"What flair? I didn't use any flair. What are you babbling about?" He asks with venom. When I say flair I mean your usual amount of emo-ness.
"Oh, ok." He says satisfied with the answer. "So what is the true reason behind Naruto's power." He again demands. I ain't gonna tell ya if your all rude like that. Douchebag.
"Hn, fine, I can't believe I'm about to do this." Sasuke grumbles. "Please tell me the true reason behind Naruto's power oh powerful Voice." He begs. Wow, that sounds weird, the Almighty avenger, Sasuke Uchiha, begging? Let bask in this achievement…Ahhhhh… sweet sweet success… Yes, I feel mighty…
"Enough already, I asked nicely. Hurry up or I'll never ask nicely again. You arrogant bastard." He mutters the last part under his breath, even though that's the kettle calling the pot black. Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a twist. Prick. The reason behind Naruto's true power is-
"It's because he's the main character you ignoramus. The series is named Naruto after all, not Sasuke, hell it's not even called…damn I forgot my line… oh well it's not called whatever it was I was supposed say there. Now if you want to become more powerful then I suggest you getting your own series like me!" The newcomer-
"DAMN IT CAPT! DIDN'T WE ALREADY HAVE THIS DISCUSSION!" Fine, Deadpool interrupted.
"Who are you?" The idiot of an Uchiha, said.
"Weren't you listening to the Narrator, numbskull? He said I'm Deadpool! Jeez, kids these days, don't even listen to their Alpha-Bits cereal anymore." Deadpool says as he shakes his head with one of his hands on his forehead.
"Never heard of you. So you mustn't be that great." Sasuke says condescendingly to Deadpool as he activates his Sharingan. Quicker than Sasuke could even see Deadpool had both his swords at the King of Emo's neck like a giant pair of scissors.
"Like a pair of children's scissors, bright and colorful, but not too sharp. You know wickle Sawsuke, just because your former clan may have been awll bwigg and bwad hwere, doesn't mean shit from where I'm from. Compared to the people I know back home your just another punk whose slightly more advantaged than an average street punk. Where I' m from I can hold my own with the big boys, you would barely be able to stand up the street urchins. So don't go acting high 'n mighty because of your family name, that's all we need is more Baldwin's, errggh, scary. Now I willing to help you get your name on the cover of one of these here magazines but first you have to past a little test.