Author's Note: This is just a short one-shot to kind of help me get back into the swing of writing… maybe. I haven't written anything in so long. But anyway, along with my new obsession, Ouran High School Host Club, came the thought: If Haruhi is wearing the guys uniform and everyone takes her for a guy, what does she do when she has to go to the bathroom?
Thus, a story is born.
Note: This is supposed to be only the second day that Haruhi's been a Host. Other wise, the problem would have already been dealt with.
Disclaimer: I don't own this anime or any of the characters. I unfortunately lack the talent to create such wonderful characters.
Men's Room
School had ended for the day and Haruhi wanted to go home right away so she could complete her homework and start studying for the test they'd have at the end of the week. But unfortunately she couldn't. Due to a certain series of events that had occurred only the day before she found herself sandwiched between the Hitachiin twins as they headed down the hallway towards the Third Music Room. Her studying would have to wait until later.
As they climbed the stairs to the top floor of the south wing, thoughts of homework and feelings of dread of her approaching duties faded to the back of her mind as a rather natural urge gained her attention. Pausing she glanced between the twins—still not entirely sure which was which, but absolutely determined to learn the difference as soon as possible—then to the floor.
"Um, Hikaru, Kaoru," she said quietly. Normally something like this wouldn't bother her. But she barely knew these two, and despite the fact that she didn't concern herself with gender too much, she was a girl and they were guys. A slight feeling of embarrassment welled up inside of her, but she didn't know where to go…
"Haruhi, we'll be late. C'mon!" they chimed in unison, turning at the sound of their names. A few steps above her they looked down on her even more than normal.
"I need a break," Haruhi stated.
"I know there are a lot of stairs in the school," Kaoru started.
"But we haven't climbed all of them. How are you tired?" Hikaru finished, leaning forward critically.
Haruhi frowned. "N-no, I'm not tired," she replied. "Um, maybe I used the wrong word. I need to go."
The twins stared at her a moment, glancing at each other out of the corner of their eyes. They seemed to be expecting something more and when she didn't say anything else both of them replied, "Go where?"
"To the bathroom!" Haruhi exclaimed.
"Oh, that type of break!" Hikaru said. He smiled wryly. "Why didn't you say so? Go on then, we'll wait for you."
"But," Haruhi dropped her gaze to the staircase once more, her voice trailing off. It wasn't telling them she needed to go that was the embarrassing part. She didn't want to admit it, knowing they'd probably make fun of her for such a thing, but she didn't know where to go…
"But what? Just go, it's okay if we're late, Milord will get over it," Kaoru assured here.
"I'm not worried about that," Haruhi muttered.
"Then what is it?" Hikaru demanded, his tone growing impatient.
Haruhi swallowed her pride. "I don't know where they are!"
"They?" Hikaru asked.
"Meaning the bathrooms?" Kaoru clarified.
Haruhi pushed the tips of her two fingers together, staring intently at them. "Well, it's a large school. I'm not used to such a big campus, and I haven't been here that long," she explained. The embarrassment was setting in. "I still get lost sometimes."
Hikaru and Kaoru gave her blank stares. They both smirked, then grinned, and then threw their heads back and burst out laughing. It was exactly the reaction she had expected.
"Sorry, sorry! We forget you're a commoner! You look so much like one of the students now, if we didn't know better we would think you were," Kaoru apologized through his laughter.
"If you don't know where the bathrooms are we'll show you. There's one right around the corner from here," Hikaru laughed.
Haruhi pushed past them, ignoring their condescending comments. "Never mind, I'll find it on my own," she growled. Damn rich…
"Haruhi, wait," they chimed, falling into step beside her. "We didn't mean it!"
"Yes you did," she spat.
"Okay, so we did," Hikaru admitted.
"But we'll still show you the bathrooms!" Kaoru finished. They each took hold of her elbows and whisked her off down a hallway.
Before she could object or even feel annoyed anymore they had her standing in front of the restrooms, men's room to the left and women's room to the right. Sighing gratefully she turned to the right and started to head in.
"Thanks, I was beginning to think I'd have to hold—"
"Haruhi!" they interrupted catching her by the shoulders. She glanced back at them, a sinking feeling creeping into her gut as she saw each of their sly grins.
"W-what is it?" she dared ask.
"You are a girl, even if you don't acknowledge it," Hikaru began.
"But you are wearing the boys uniform, aren't you?" Kaoru finished.
Haruhi glanced down at her black slacks and blue jacket, placing a hand on the tie around her neck. "Well, yes, but I don't see what that has to do—"
"So that means everyone excluding the host club thinks you're a guy!" the twins stated together. Haruhi couldn't help but pick up on the slight hint of mischief in their voices as they melded together to utter the same sentence.
"So? What's your point?" she asked turning towards them. She didn't know what they were getting at, but she couldn't help but have a sickening feeling when she looked at them.
The two exchanged glances, a strange glint in their eyes. "So, if they think you're a guy then they can't see you going into the lady's room," Hikaru said, pointing over her shoulder at the door she had chosen to head towards.
Haruhi glanced back at it. "But its after school," she replied, realizing what they were saying and determining it was a good point. Girls, no matter how many times they designated her, didn't want to see who they thought was a man in the lady's room.
They laughed, but this time not because of her lack of navigation. "But Haruhi!" Kaoru exclaimed, stepping forward to stand next to her. He placed his arm around her shoulders. "Other club members and all of our designators are here!"
Hikaru fell into place on her other side, sliding his arm up around her shoulders as well. "And you can't have all of the girls who designate you finding you in the lady's room, can you? They might find out that you're a girl yourself."
"Then how would you pay off your debt?" they asked, moving to stand in front of her.
Haruhi stared at them blankly as their words slowly sank in. She scowled, a feeling of disgust washing over her. "Crap!" she growled.
Kaoru pointed at the men's room door. "You have to go in there," he said with a sly, mischievous grin.
Haruhi looked back at it with dread. The men's room was somewhere no woman ever dared to enter no matter what age. Men were filthy, dirty, and disgusting at home, no matter how rich or poor. There was no telling what she would find behind that door!
"I'm not going in there!" she shouted, jabbing a finger in the air back towards the door. "It's the men's room! I refuse!"
The twins shrugged, turning their backs to her. "Oh well, if you get caught don't get mad at us, we tried to warn you," Hikaru sighed. "Yeah, if you're found out you'll just have to pay back your debt some other way. How though, I wonder?" Kaoru added with another shrug.
Haruhi's shoulders slumped in defeat. She couldn't pay that debt any other way. She was fortunate that she had this arrangement and with Kyoya's money-grubbing tactics that he used to leech every cent out of people that he could she was surprised, but relieved, that they hadn't asked for money instead.
"Fine!" she growled with disgust. "I'll use the men's bathroom!"
"Oh?" the twins said, turning back to her wearing a look of intrigue on their faces. Their mouths twisted into sly grins as they wrapped their arms around her shoulders once more. "But you can't go in alone," Hikaru said.
"W-why not? I'm a big girl, I can do it myself!" she exclaimed. She felt nervous as they leaned their faces closer to hers.
"You can use the men's room and the girls won't suspect anything," Kaoru said, turning towards the men's bathroom door and turning her with him.
"But there could be guys inside that would see things!" Hikaru explained. He had such an insinuating tone to his voice Haruhi felt her cheeks burn with anger.
"Wait just a minute! I'm not going to let you see things either!" she objected, dragging her heels as they pushed her towards the door. "I can keep it hidden just fine on my own!" They got closer and she started to back up, pushing against them in vain.
Hikaru placed his hand on the door and thrust it open. They both shoved her inside ahead of them following closely behind. Looking around Haruhi found herself somewhere where she thought she'd never have seen—the men's bathroom!
Swallowing hard she felt intimidated by not only the newness of being inside the men's room but the size of it as well. On the wall directly ahead of her stretched over fifteen stalls, the doors on all of them left open to a crack. On the wall to her right were about eight sinks and on the left wall was something she'd never seen before, but knew exactly what it was—because men didn't pee in toilets in public bathrooms.
Haruhi reeled backwards, restrained quit sufficiently by the twins as they wrapped their free arms around her shoulders in front of her.
"L-let me go. Let me out!" she shouted, squirming in their grasp and trashing about with her legs. "I don't want to be in here! I want out!"
"Shh! Haruhi!" they hushed, whispering soothingly into her ears. She froze when she felt their hot breath on her skin. "Don't be so loud, you'll draw attention."
"There's no one around!" she protested, shutting her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at the forbidden sights of the men's room. She might have already gone in her pants if she had had to of gone any more than she did.
"Haruhi, just go!" Kaoru encouraged. They pushed her farther into the room. Now clear of the doorway she could see herself in the mirrors that covered the entirety of the wall above the sinks.
"We'll stand guard!" they chirped in unison. They gave her the thumbs up and flashed her two identical smiles.
Hesitantly and cautiously, having nowhere else to go, Haruhi turned back to the bathroom. She zeroed out a stall and slowly shuffled her way to it. She swallowed once again, extending her hand towards the ajar door. Pushing it, it swung open revealing a toilet, exactly like the ones in the lady's room. Feeling somewhat relieved and ridiculous (for she had expected something foreign), she stepped inside and slammed the door behind her, latching it afterwards.
Turning around she leaned against it and sighed, raising her eyes to the ceiling. She was going to have to get used to going in the men's room. There was no way she was going to hold urges like this all through school and the events of the Host club. But when other students were around, she couldn't go to the women's room either. At least for her first time in the men's room the only other people around were Hikaru and Kaoru. Men they were, but knew her secret they already did. It was a bit of a comfort to have them there to 'guard' her should any other boy student enter the bathroom, but also very awkward at the same time.
It took her forever to actually go once she was seated. She had to plug her ears and shut her eyes, imagining she was at home in her own bathroom with the door closed and locked with all other members of the opposite gender on the other side, to drowned out the sound of the twins soft whispers and humming as they patiently (or more likely impatiently) waited for her.
Finally the toilet flushed and she came out, going to the sink to wash her hands. Once she had dried them off with a paper towel and properly disposed of it in the trash bin she shoved past the twins and rushed out into the hallway where she could breath easier.
Straightening her posture she turned around to face them as they exited the bathroom. "Don't do that to me ever again!" she scolded. Sighing she regained her calm. "It was embarrassing enough being in their without you two waiting so close by. Next time you'll be out here waiting, not in there!"
"Next time? Haruhi?" they chimed together, giving her another sly grin.
"Ne, Haruhi, you mean you'll let us go to the bathroom with you from now on?" Hikaru asked mischievously.
"No," Haruhi replied sternly. "I mean if you ever try accompanying me again you won't be so close to me."
They watched as she walked off down the hallway, resuming their previous course to the third music room. Exchanging a glance they grined devilishly at one another before darting after her chanting her name as they prodded her to wait for them.
Glad that her little 'adventure' was over, she opened the door to the music room and entered, Hikaru and Kaoru behind her grinning like the devils that they were.
Tamaki immediately turned when he heard the door open. Upon seeing her he rushed over to them.
"Hikaru, Kaoru, Haruhi! You're late! Where have you been?" he demanded.
Haruhi could see behind Tamaki that some customer's were already there. She turned her attention back to her waiting senpai and started to reply when she felt two arms work their way around her shoulders. She sighed as the twins leaned on her, their sly grins still played upon their faces.
"Ah, my lord!" they greeted simultaneously. It was something they were very good at doing, though Haruhi wasn't sure how they could say the same words at the same time, and so many of them at that! It must be something only twins can do she decided.
"We're sorry we're late, but we couldn't help it!" Hikaru began, leaning his head over on Haruhi's. They had dramatic looks of mock sincerity.
"Yes, Haruhi had to go to the bathroom," Kaoru explained, mirroring his brother.
Tamaki stared at them a moment. He looked angry as they wrapped their other arm around her so she was fully enveloped in their two-man embrace.
"Poor Haruhi didn't know where it was though!" Kaoru added.
"When we showed her she didn't know if she should use the lady's room or the men's room! Oh, it was a pathetic sight!" Hikaru sighed.
Haruhi scowled, trying to pull herself free from their arms. "That's not true," she muttered. But Tamaki hadn't heard her, or rather, wasn't listening to her like before.
The twins glanced at each other over her head and their grin got wider. "So we helped her out and took her to the bathroom!" they finished together, turning their sly, provoking looks back to their senpai.
Haruhi was soon released and pushed to the side as Tamaki exploded into a rant and the two brothers egged it on. She sighed, wanting desperately to slip away and run home to her house where she could sit in peace and quiet and study. As the three girls who had designated her the day before approached she realized she couldn't do that.
Putting on her best smile she greeted the three ladies warmly. She was just glad that her 'bathroom adventure' was over. And hoped it wouldn't happen again for a long time.