"Rudi, wif an i"


So this little interplay was running around in my head since I re-watched the episode, "Rebound." It's just a silly little drabble I wanted to share. Hopefully you will find it amusing. (I'm still working on the next chapter for The Most Magical Place on Earth.)

Please let me know what you think!

I do not own Lie to Me, the characters, dialogue, or events in the episodes.


Gillian nodded politely at the gentleman holding the door open for her. She could tell by the dilation of his pupils and cocky smile that he was checking her out. The only thing she was interested in, however, was her morning caffeine. Squeezing past him, she stepped into line for her fix.

She was busy digging in her bag for her wallet when an all too familiar cockney accent spoke behind her. "I fink that fella was a bit more interested in you than in a cup of coffee."

Smirking into her bag, she lifted her gaze and turned around to find her partner in crime only a few centimeters from her face. "Good morning Cal. Fancy meeting you here."

He wagged his eyebrows at her and grinned mischievously, stepping back now that he had made his presence known. "Didja want me to see about a number for you?" He pointed back over his shoulder still carrying on his train of thought.

She furrowed her brow and squinted her eyes at him. "I'm only interested in my morning pick me up. Though, I am surprised to find you here. Didn't think you frequented this type of establishment."

"No? You sure? Well his loss." Cal said still smirking as he raised his own cup to her in mock salute.

Spotting the cup of, what she assumed was coffee, her eyebrows knitted together again. "What no tea this morning?"

"Not today, no today I felt like somefing a bit stronger, you know masculine, put a little hair on your chest." He wagged his eyebrows again bouncing back and forth on his heels. She could tell he was in quite a jovial mood. The energy and humor oozed out of his pores.

"Mhmmmm," she murmured. There was only one reason he would be in her favorite coffee shop this early in the morning. It was obvious that he had come here to find her and share whatever it was that had put him in such a happy state. She only had to be patient and wait for him to reveal it.

"Fink it's your turn luv." Cal nodded smirking at the cashier behind her.

"Oh." Gillian turned abruptly feeling Cal press in behind her. "I'm so sorry. May I please have a double cappuccino?"

"What no syrupy sweetness today Foster? No sugar coma this morning?" His breath carried the words across her ear as he pressed up behind her far too closely. She was used to his behavior. Anything he could do to get a rise out of her.

She maintained her calm demeanor even while her heart started beating faster. "Not today Cal." Having paid for her order, she moved out of the line to wait for her cappuccino. Cal following closely behind. They stood in amiable silence until her name was called and she collected her beverage. Spotting two seats open at one of the bars along the line of windows, they sank down to enjoy their drinks. "So to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Don't know what you're talking about luv. Can't your partner just enjoy a cup of java with his beautiful associate?" Cal wagged his eyebrows at her sipping his coffee.

She rolled her eyes before squinting at him with a look of mock annoyance. He responded with a cheeky grin. "Then tell me what has gotten you in such a good mood this morning." She knew she hit the nail on the head when his eyes lit up like Christmas.

"What darling? Can't a man simply be cheerful in the morning?" They both knew he was full of it and couldn't help but chuckle. "What can I say, I had a great evening. Em came back…"

"Oh right, she had gone to visit her mother." Gillian smiled thinking of Emily. "Did she have a good time?"

Cal watched the way Gillian's eyes lit up at the mention of Emily. He adored how close they were. "So she said."

"And how is Zoe?" The earlier joy was no longer present as her voice took on a polite tone.

Grinning devilishly, he responded, quite pleased at how perfectly she had set him up. "From what Emily said it seems she is doing very well for herself."

Gillian could read the hints of sarcasm and barely contained amusement. So his joy was at Zoe's expense. "Oh?" She knew he would continue regardless of her response.

"Mmmm. Seems she's acquired herself a new man." Cal moved in closer to her face to share this juicy detail even raising his eyebrows at her.

Taking a sip of her cappuccino she mentally prepared herself for whatever would follow. "And you're alright with this?" She asked, her concern evident on her face and in her voice.

She briefly caught the flash showing that Cal was touched before it disappeared behind his amused grin. "Now don't get all shrinky on me Foster. Why wouldn't I be alright wif it?"

She gave him a bemused, 'you're not fooling anyone Lightman' look, before switching tactics. "Does Emily approve?"

His grin got broader if possible. "Aye aye, yeah, seems she is ok with Rudi…" He paused for dramatic effect and she waited for whatever it was that he was about to drop on her. "wif an i."

She blinked. Took a sip of her drink to collect herself. Even she hadn't been prepared to school her features quickly enough. He had seen the shared glint of amusement in her face before she hid it. She could tell because of the sheer mirth he was now displaying. Hiding one's inner thoughts from Cal Lightman was never easy, especially when under such close scrutiny. "I'm so glad to hear that Emily approves. That has to make things easier."

"Oh no luv. No you don't. You're just as amused by this as I am, you are." Cal wasn't about to let her rain on his fun by taking such a mature approach.

"I'm amused that you're so happy your ex has found someone new. I think it's wonderful you've been able to move on." Even as she was saying it she knew Cal would see through her bullshit. She didn't even try to hide the glimmer in her eyes which of course he spotted immediately. Unable to resist, she prodded him a little more. "I'm proud of you Cal. You really are handling this so maturely."

"mmmmm." He grumbled at her, before tilting his head sideways and attempting a new approach. Banter with Gillian always brought out the best in him. "Now 'ang on luv. You're telling me that if Alec," adding a soft "wanker" under a throat clearing, "told you, that he was in fact dating some… I don't know… a Kelli wif an i, you're saying you wouldn't find that even the teensiest bit hilarious?" As he said it he held his thumb and pointer an inch apart in front of her face.

Gillian flushed at his bringing up her ex into the conversation. In the past, Alec had been a bit o a sore spot between them. After her divorce it had gotten a little better. As much as she appreciated Cal's defense of her when it came to her ex, she also didn't want to listen to him berate Alec for being what he was. As a psychiatrist she knew that both she and her husband were at fault for their failed marriage. She also knew that Cal wouldn't allow her to take any responsibility. They'd had that discussion before over several glasses of scotch.

It was far too early for her to get into it with Cal over Alec. Plus she was enjoying playing with Cal and his glowing mood. So she decided to play along and continue the banter and try to avoid going too deep where her ex was concerned. "Well, Cal, if Alec found someone who was good for him, someone who was kind, and smart and friendly… which I'm sure a Kelli with an i would be, then I would be happy for him … and for Kelli … with an i."

"But you'd also be just a smidgen amused, wouldn't you luv?" He grinned wickedly at her and raised an eyebrow. "I mean as happy as you could be for the man…(cough) wanker. Somewhere deep in there, you'd be laughing your arse off."

"You're terrible you know that right?" She smiled over her cappuccino at him and he grinned happily back.