Disclaimer I do not own Bones. All copyright belongs to Kathy Reichs and Fox Television. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred.
This story is set in just after the Patriot in Purgatory.
Booth lay awake staring at the ceiling. He couldn't stop thinking about what Bones had said to him. She had been able to lock her tears away for over ten years. He sighed. There was no way the forensic anthropologist could have coped with the job she had been asked to do if she had let the feelings and emotions of the time get to her. Now she saw that strength as a personal failure.
"Hey." He sighed as he felt her move in the bed next to him. "I just checked on Christine. She's fine."
"Ok." Brennan shifted position again. "Booth."
"Yeah?"
"Go to sleep." She smiled at him as he turned to face her.
"You too."
"I can't." She sighed. "I want to sleep. Logically I know it is what my brain needs but I can't stop thinking about the case. All those years that man was in Limbo at the Jeffersonian."
"You told Hodgins and Clark not to call it Limbo." He smiled. She raised an eyebrow.
"And he should have been mourned as the hero he was. What he did was extremely brave." The tears filled her eyes. "Tim saved three people."
"I know." Booth sighed "I know."
"And it took all this time before anyone could acknowledge that." She turned on her side as Booth moved beneath the sheets. "People should have known how brave he was."
"And now they will." Booth moved nearer to her as she closed her eyes.
"Booth."
"Don't." Booth wrapped his arms around her as she lay her head on his chest. His breathing began to sooth her frayed nerves. "Don't dwell on this."
"You have been."
"I served in Iraq. I was there in Gulf War 1. I fought alongside men like Tim Murphy. Good men that came home thinking life would be as it was before they left US soil. But they were wrong. Bones, the things you see. It changes you."
"A good man is always a good man." Brennan lifted her head to look him in the eye. "Tim Murphy was a good man. He deserved all the things you said in his Eulogy. I'm very proud of you for standing there and saying what you did. I know it wasn't easy for you."
"I meant every word."
"I know you did." She held him a little closer as he closed his eyes. "But."
"September 11 was awful. No, to say it was awful is wrong. It was more than awful. I am an educated woman and I don't have words for what that day was. All I know is how can a good man like Tim Murphy suffer the way he did? How can he be left with no one looking for him? His wife gave up on him."
"PTSD." Booth sighed.
"I know what it is." She swallowed hard, tears once again filling her eyes. "It could have been you."
"Hey." He hugged her to him. "Hey, is that what all this is about? Bones. I'm fine."
"Now." She nodded against his chest. "But the things we see. The things you've seen in the FBI, In Iraq and Afghanistan. What if something else tipped you over the edge? What if?"
"You won't lose me."
"But." He silenced her with a kiss. Her hand came up to his chest as they broke apart. "I could. Christine and Parker could."
"No. I wont lett that happen."
"Tim Murphy could have felt the same way. If it wasn't for Arastoo we would never have known what happened to him. What if one day you walk out the door and I never see you again? You just disappear like he did."
"Not going to happen. We take care of each other."
"But."
"I've seen so much. You know that, so have you and yet we're here together. Our baby girl is asleep in the room next door and Parker is just down the hall for the rest of the weekend. We're together and we are all fine." He kissed her forehead. Brennan sighed as she felt his lips on her skin.
"What if you realise what I'm like? How cold I can be? I was there. I was at Ground Zero and I didn't shed a tear. People all around me were breaking down. Me? What did I do? Got on with my job. Identified who I could. Even Cam cried. You saw her, she cried at the thought of that day and her work as a New York Coroner." She closed her eyes. "I never once cried. Now it's all I can do not to cry."
"You did what you had to do. You did what you do best. Holding in emotion doesn't make you a bad person, Bones."
"It doesn't?"
"No." He said decisively. "No it doesn't. You are a good person Bones. You held in your emotions, doesn't mean you didn't feel them. I think its what Sweets would call a learned response. When you were in the foster system you learned to keep your feelings to yourself to survive. You did it again that day and in the days that followed."
"Booth?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you." She whispered as he kissed her. Another demon had been chased away. The death of a single man had made her question everything about her life. He just hoped she found the same answers he had.
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A/N ok so wasn't going to write anymore Bones stories but this was in my head. May run to a second chapter if people would like. Please let me know.
