A/N: So... I'm basically new in this world we call FanFiction -Just started this very minute actually- ...so bear with my dumbness a little bit, please. This is just a trial story, just checking out how this whole thing works. (And I'm too lazy to read the guidelines.)

Do I need to make a disclaimer too? ...I do? ...Oh well...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. As people like to say...

The Cullen house… or mansion to be exact… is currently under total panic and chaos.

Something is about to happen!

Something big and ominous… bound to change their lives forever…

Something that's nearly driving the 'richest family ever written in history' crazy. Everyone's in a total rush!

… Well, except for one…

"EDWARD!"

"Why can't I tie this thing?"

"Are you ready yet? We can't leave without you, you know!"

"Alice, you left the hair iron still plugged in."

"Oops! Sorry…"

"It's okay… I already unplugged it."

"Did anyone get the car ready?"

"Emmett was supposed to take care of that right?"

"Son, did you get the car ready?"

"Hmm… I feel like I forgot something…"

"Yep! It's all ready to go."

"God! Bowties sucks!"

"Then, everyone get in the car. Quick!"

"Carlisle dear, you forgot the cufflinks."

"Oh! That's what I forgot! Thanks honey…"

"Wait, Mom! Edward's not here yet."

"Where's my purse?"

"I saw it on the coffee table a while ago."

"There it is! Thanks Dad!"

"Where is he? It's almost time to go!"

"…And can someone help me tie this up? Bowties aren't really my style."

"Emmett is so whiny…" *Snicker*

"I'm not!"

"Stop it you two… Here, let me help you with that."

"Will somebody check up on that boy? Find out what's taking him so long."

"Ha-ha-ha! Mom just called Edward a boy!"

"Don't let Edward hear you calling him that Mom, he'll cry for sure! He-he!"

"That probably wasn't appropriate anymore honey. Especially with the occasion today…"

"Oh, stop it. No matter what happens, he will always be my little boy… Now who's going to check up on him?"

"I'll go!"

"I'll start the car then…"

"I'm coming with you, Dad! Let me just get my video cam…"

Running footsteps on the stairs can be heard, followed by frantic knocking on a door.

"Edward! …Eddie! You ready yet?"

…

"Do you need help with the suit? Mom sent me here to help you. Since Emmett's not good with bowties…"

…

"Hey, answer me! …Why aren't you answering? …Damn it! I'm opening the door now."

The door slammed open and a very beautiful, pixie-like woman rushed inside.

"Hurry up, Eddie boy! Everyone's ready to leave and— what the…? You're still sleeping? Wake up you idiot! Mom! Come here!"

"What? What's wrong? Don't scream Alice… Is he done yet? Carlisle and Emmett are already in the car." Esme asked walking inside the room. Panic or not, a fine lady must be calm at all times (even when bombs start going off).

"No, you're little boy is still sleeping. I can't wake him up."

"What? My god, Edward! It's already noon! How come you're still sleeping?" Esme shouted, 'Fine Lady' etiquettes going out the window.

"It's because he drank too much last night. Emmett and Jasper tricked him into thinking that he won't feel nervous for today if he had a bit of alcohol in his system." Alice said looking at her sleeping brother. "But he only ended up passing out… poor boy; he's going to have a major hang over when he wakes up."

"Seriously, what am I going to do with these boys?" Esme sighed.

"Okay, enough of this! Alice, get his suit ready… I'll wake him up."

"Yes ma'am!"

Meanwhile… The two people in the car waiting impatiently ended up having a 'father-son-heart-to-heart talk'.

"What's taking them so long?"

"Be patient my son… always remember that Patience is a virtue."

"Really? I always thought Patience is the name of Jane's pet cat…"

Carlisle frowned.

"Just kidding…" Emmett grinned sheepishly. "Why are you suddenly talking like Grandpa anyway?"

"Am I? Never mind… I'm just so happy for your brother… After all the hardship he went through, he's finally becoming a real man and accept a really big responsibility… Although most of the said hardship were because of you and Jasper… and Alice sometimes, when she gets bored."

"Ha-ha… Really? We're just having fun though. And you made it sound like Edward used to be gay."

"Edward wanted it too, Dad… It's not a big responsibility for him… It's something that makes him happy. We all know that."

"Yes… I guess you're right. And…"

Carlisle stared at Emmett as if seeing him for the first time.

"W-What is it?"

"My dear son, it seems you're finally growing up… You're becoming mature enough to understand perfectly Edward's situation…"

"What are you talking about? Of course I understand! I had a first-hand experience of that with Rose last year, remember?"

"Oh, yes… I remember. Now, we only have Alice to think about…"

"Yeah, I wonder when she will do this…"

"Did she mention any guy to anyone of you? …Any romantic relationship at all?"

"Nope, no guys. The nearest thing to a romantic relationship she ever had is her passion with shopping!"

"Well, we just had to wait for someone to sweep her off her feet then… By the way…"

…The father and son conversation continued…

All the while, only one thought is swirling in everyone's heads…

'Tanya is going to kill us!'

They all shuddered.

"Wha—?"

Edward finally stirred awake…

In a random but amazingly spectacular church somewhere…

"I'm going to kill them!" Tanya Denali almost screamed.

"Easy there tiger… You're going to ruin your make-up." Rosalie said, trying her best to calm the raging beast.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? I can't freaking-calm-the-hell-down! They're late! Really late!"

"It's just for 3 minutes though… I'm sure they're on their way…" Rosalie Hale-Cullen, Emmett's faithful wife sighed, getting anxious herself. 'Better hurry up Eddie Boy… I would hate for Emmett to only have one sibling left…'

"Where is that doofus! Why isn't he here yet? …This is our special wedding and he managed to get himself late! That idiot! I can't believe I agreed to marry him! WAIT! …Oh my god! I actually agreed to marry him… I'm getting married… WE are getting married…" Tanya is having a near nervous breakdown…

Thankfully, someone interrupted her monologue, rant, epiphany, or whatever…

"They're here! We're going to start now. Come on!" Jasper Hale, Rosalie's twin brother exclaimed while entering the chamber excitedly.

"It's about damn time!" Tanya actually screamed this time (whether in relief or impatience we'll never know)…doing last minute check-up on herself.

"Jasper! Thank heavens you're here. Tanya won't stop panicking!"

Jasper is suddenly an angel in Rosalie's eyes!

He went closer to Tanya and smiled at her.

"I got to say… You're really beautiful today Tanya. I still can't believe you agreed to marry that boy. Remember when Edward proposed? That's so hilarious! It still makes me laugh every time." He started to calm the girl down…

"He was late back then too." Rosalie added.

The twins laughed as they started to reminisce… Tanya started smiling too.

"I know! It took him 20 minutes just to say two sentences because he keeps stuttering. He looks so funny I just got to say 'yes' when he finally managed to ask the question."

"He's been so nervous from the start; he almost chickened out of the whole thing! Emmett and I have to pep talk him for an hour… The final push actually came from Alice though…" Jasper said thinking back on the hilarious events that night.

"Yeah, literally… All I saw back then was a stumbling Edward landing on my feet."

They snickered...

Apparently, a bored Alice equals ridiculous and/or funny moments being ensued to people around her…

Getting bored with an hour of boy-talks and watching Edward hyperventilate every 10 minutes… Alice decided on a quick and sure way of helping her beloved brother get it over and done with…

By pushing him forward with all her strength… Edward tripped exactly in front of his girlfriend.

"That really cracked me up! Alice was laughing so hard she's practically choking on pure air, while Emmett videotaped the whole scene. Heck! Even Esme can't stop from giggling." Jasper is cracking up now.

"And Carlisle had this really weird combination of a smirk and a grimace. His face looks so silly." Rosalie added between laughs and hiccups.

The trio continued laughing loudly, the assistance staff almost called off the whole wedding to arrange for an exorcism ritual instead.

Thankfully, they're laughter died down two seconds before the staff decided to inform the priest.

Tanya was the first to speak. "Thanks a lot Jazz. My nerves have calmed down now. You're really good at that."

"No problem-o! Calming down people is my forte, you know. You really looked like a typical 'bridezilla' a while ago but it's all fine now… Just take a deep breath, hold on to my arm and smile." Japer held out his arm. "…I'm going to take you to your Eddie boy."

Tanya just slapped his shoulder before holding the offered arm.

Rosalie smirked and Tanya glared at her.

"What? You call him that too. I heard you one time."

"Everyone calls him that. Look, let's just go okay? Edward might think I left him at the altar if he doesn't see me now."

"Why would he think that? You already said 'yes'. He thinks the most ridiculous thing sometimes."

Rosalie asked. Jasper's response is automatic...

"That's because he's an idiot."

"Only when it comes to Tanya though… To us he's this broody, old fashioned 'gentleman' that always take things we say or do seriously." Rosalie grinned.

"Yeah and that only makes him more of an idiot." Jasper stated the fact. AGAIN.

"Ugh! Can we just go? NOW? …Before you reveal more of the idiocy from my fiancée."

"Okay, okay! Relax…"

Jasper took a deep breath…

"…Here goes…"

The door to the church's main hall opened… and the 'Wedding of the Year' as the Time Magazine published, went on smoothly and with no complications.

…Until Edward actually passed out after kissing the bride.

Another video was added to Emmett's compilations of 'Edward's most embarrassing moments'. And the best record of 'Silliest Wedding' was added on the list of Guinness Book of World Records.

At the Cullen Mansion… reception time…

A large, very large party is currently taking place… courtesy of Alice. All the guests and a lot more that didn't make it at the actual wedding was there.

Dancing, talking, drinking wines… and watching 'Edward's Most Embarrassing Moments' on a really, really wide and white backdrop, courtesy of Emmett… A tribute to the groom's journey to adulthood and hopefully… maturity.

…Being the second wealthiest family in the world, Charlie Swan with his wife Reneé and daughter Isabella are all invited to the said party. The couple attended happily… with a not so happy daughter in tow…

Isabella Swan loathes formal parties. To her, it's just an excuse her mother uses to force her on wearing a dress. And Bella hates dresses more than she hates formal parties.

"I don't want to be here… " She sighed.

Someone bumped into her, followed by a fleeting but beautiful voice, "Oops! Sorry, I'm quiet in a hurry…"

She turned around quickly hoping to catch the source of the voice only to find, there, slowly disappearing in the sea of people… a back of a petite girl. Nope, that's a woman, her ass says so… wait, what?

'Goodness me! You're a pervert now?' She asked herself. 'And a gay pervert at that!'

"That's it! Forget Mom and Dad, I'm leaving, before I turn into something really weird…" She muttered stretching her neck to look around. "Now, where is my no good of a best friend? He's supposed to be around here somewhere…"

"Geez, Bells… so I mean that much to you, huh. What a boost to my confidence…"

Bella yelped at the gruff voice suddenly sounding beside her and she turned to see her very best friend, Jacob Black, standing in all his gayness glory.

Jacob is the son of Billy Black, fourth place in the ranking of the world's wealthiest family, Bella's best friend and a total goof ball. He's the typical tall-dark-and-handsome 'kind' of guy and would have gotten any girl he wants in just a snap of a finger, but unfortunately to the girls out there… he is also very, very GAY. He's totally batting for the other team—

"Hey, Bella! Stop having a monologue and listen to me! Geez, here I am, pouring my heart out and all you do is ignore me." Jacob sniffed and wiped a handkerchief to his eyes for dramatic effect. "Thanks for saying I'm handsome by the way, even though I already know that."

"Jake! Stop acting like that, it's really weird! And did you just quote a line from a rock song? …Anyways, you don't need me to boost your confidence; you're already reeking of that. You're ego is so huge, I'm amazed you're still here on the ground." Bella laughed.

"What? Stop laughing! That's not funny Isabella… Did you really think I'm an ego-maniac?" Jacob's feelings were really hurt this time. And Bella knows it since Jacob only uses her whole first name when he's upset with her.

"Oh, come on Jake… you know I'm only joking. You're not an ego-maniac… you're just over-confident…"

"Isn't that the same thing?" He sniffled for real.

"Of course not! Look, I'm really sorry for saying you're an ego-maniac…" Bella rubbed her best friend's broad shoulder. "So stop crying, ok? That's a major turn off, you know? And it looks really weird…"

"That reminds me! With all these talk about weirdness… What do you mean when you said you're turning into something weird earlier?" Jacob asked grinning widely.

"You know, your sudden mood-changes really gives me a whiplash and… Wait! Jake, you can help me! In fact, you're the only one who can!"

"What? Help you with what? And why am I the only one who can help you?"

Bella suddenly have a really wide smirk.

'I shouldn't have asked… stupid mouth!' Jacob thought as soon as he saw a glimpse of his best friend's smirk.

"Because you're my best friend, and you're the expert when it comes to this field!"

"What field? And will you just fucking stop this mystery-suspense aura and just tell me what the hell your problem is!"

"Jacob…" She whined.

"Seriously, what?"

"…I think… I think I'm turning gay…"

"Oh, you're turning gay… I thought something really bad happ– Wait! WHAT? You're turning ga– hmpf!"

Bella covered his mouth.

"Shh… keep your voice down, will you? Everyone's staring at us."

Jacob smiled at the nearby onlookers who immediately looked away. He turned back to Bella.

"Un-fucking-believable! So you finally figured it out! I always knew you were one of us. I saw the truth hiding in your eyes and it's just boiling in your blood… "

"Stop quoting lines from a song! This is serious… I really need your help."

"Fine, fine… I'll help. So..."

"So…?" Bella echoed.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "What clued you in? What made you think you were turning gay? What's the turning point? Something must have happened."

"I'll tell you but let's get out of here first, before our parents decide to look for us! And these heels are killing my feet…"

As if on cue, Bella suddenly tripped… on just her own two feet.

Luckily, Jacob was able to catch her before she fell on her ass.

"Not a word Jake… Not a single word…"

Her best friend just chuckled.

On a café…

Jacob and Bella were sitting at a booth near the window, drinking coffee and hot chocolate… Jacob just loves chocolates.

"Okay, so tell me what happened?"

"Well…" Bella gulped her coffee. "…"

"What? I can't hear you. Speak louder Bells…"

"'sassattheparty."

"What? I can't unders— Uh! This is hopeless! Look at me Bella… and calm down! Just take deep breathes…"

Bella did as she was told…

"Okay, now speak loud and clear and tell me what happened."

"I said… I just caught myself checking out a girl's ass at the party."

'A really nice one too…' Bella added in her head.

"That's it?"

"W-What do you mean that's it? You have to tell me what's going on? Jake…"

"Bella, dear… everyone has checked out someone else's ass at some point in their freaking life… That's totally normal… It's not just you."

"But it's not normal for me! I'm Isabella Swan… the not so normal, clumsy girl who doesn't have a care in the world!"

"And hates dresses and parties." Jacob added.

"That too… You see? I don't check out someone else's ass, especially a girl's! Something must be really wrong with me! I think I'm turning like you…" Bella grabbed Jacob's shirt. "Your gayness is rubbing off on me…"

"Hey! First, let go of the shirt… Thank you. Second, if my gayness rubbed off on you, even just a tiny bit, you would have been crazy about boys! Hot, sexy, muscular Men! Turning gay for girls is all on you!"

"Ugh! You have a point there... Okay, okay! So it's my fault… what should I do now?"

Jacob rubbed his freshly shaved chin.

"Hmm… You're right about one thing though... you never cared about anyone before. Mike, Eric even Tyler and half the guys on our neighborhood(The other half is part of my harem, of course.)is flirting with you and you didn't even spare a second look at them."

"They're flirting with me? I thought they were just asking for the time, directions, what type of guy am I looking for… and beautiful places that I wanted to see… Though of course, I've already seen the places that I wanted to see, so I told them just that. And they just left."

"That's exactly what I meant… You pretty much turned them down without even knowing that they're interested in you."

Jacob crossed his arms over his chest, making the girls nearby swoon at his accentuated upper body muscles. Bella just rolled her eyes; she's already used to that… girls swooning at her best friend then glaring at her.

"Then… maybe you're really supposed to fall for girls… that explains why you're never interested with any guys… Maybe… Maybe you're destined to be gay! Oh, my gosh! I just figured out your destiny! Aren't I great or what!" Jacob was practically bouncing on his seat.

"Welcome to the club sister! Congratulations! Let me open the closet for you…" He pretended to open an imaginary door.

"Shut up Jake! How did this talk turn about my destiny…? And that's just one girl! I've never been interested with girls before so I can't possibly be gay… right?"

"Ooohh, so you doubt yourself now? …Then… maybe you're not really gay… maybe that girl is your soul mate! She just happens to be a girl… or maybe— nah, definitely your soul mate…" Jacob is getting lost in his musings.

"Why is it about soul mates now… are you aiming to be a fortune teller or something?" Bella mumbled.

"So, what else did you notice about our mystery girl?" Jacob turned his attention back to Bella.

"Nothing else… that's about it."

"Really? Just her ass?"

"Yup! Just her ass… Oh! And she has a very beautiful voice and she's really petite, just about to my shoulder I think…"

"Wait, wait, and fucking wait! You guys actually talked to each other? Why didn't you tell me? We could have made it easier to search for her you know. What's her name then?"

"No, we didn't talk. She just apologized because she bumped into me… It looked like she was in a hurry. God! She has a very, very beautiful voice."

Jacob's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You're gushing? You're actually gushing and swooning about someone? Wow! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're in love! …All the more reason to think that she's you're soul mate…!"

Jacob is so happy for his best friend. Bella's finally in love! And it's not with books this time.

'Don't worry best friend of mine! I'm going to help you get your girl, one way or another…'