This is now it's own story for those who are thinking: wow this looks familiar. Yeah, don't judge me. I just thought it would be easier than trying to keep a bunch of oneshots together. It won't be exceedingly long I think but we'll see. At least I'm not going crazy now because I'm managing to write something.

Blaine stomped his feet on the way up to his bedroom. He knew it was childish but he needed an outlet for the stress he was feeling. He was Senior Class President therefore expected to both organise and attend this ridiculous Sadie Hawkins Dance. Even the name sent waves of cold fear churning through his stomach. He couldn't bear the thought of standing in that gym, his mind cruelly replaying the horror of three years ago back at him until he was forced to run to the bathrooms and puke his guts up. Logically he knew it was unlikely to have a replay of that night – he actually had friends who wouldn't let anything happen to him this time – but he couldn't help but want to curl into a tiny ball beneath his covers and hide until the whole thing was over. But he didn't want to have to resort to that, not really.

He knew what he really wanted though.

He wanted to be able to go to Kurt and curl up in his arms, whisper all his fears to him in secrecy and have him kiss away the pain and worry until everything seemed like it was going to be alright.

Only, that was the only thing he couldn't do.

Sure, he and Kurt had made up and they were back to where they were this time two years ago. Best friends who shared everything with each other with one hopelessly in love with the other. Only this time there was a reversal of roles. Of course, Blaine still hoped Kurt was in love with him, just unable to really think about it because he was still scared. Blaine didn't blame him, not at all, but he just wanted Kurt to be his again. He understood he had to work for it and wait for Kurt to be ready and he would do so. He would wait forever. But right now he wanted his boyfriend back.

Blaine sat on his bed and pulled out his phone staring at the photo of Kurt ice skating that had taken place as his background. Would it hurt to call him? Kurt said he could call whenever he wanted and he would answer, especially if it was important.

He decided he'd text first in case he was in a meeting or something.

Hey, I need to talk to someone, preferably you. Can I call? Xx

Blaine frowned at the kisses at the end of the message but sent them anyway. He had been sending 'xx' at the end of his messages to Kurt for way too long to stop now.

Sure you can. Everything alright?

Blaine winced at the lack of Kurt's own 'xx' but again that was his fault so he didn't linger on it too long, choosing instead to dial Kurt. Two rings and he picked up.

"Hey, are you alright?" Kurt asked immediately.

Blaine flopped back on the bed. "They're asking me to organise a Sadie Hawkins at McKinley."

Kurt inhaled sharply. "Oh, Blaine... what are you going to do?"

"I kind of have to, you know, Class President and all. I just wish I didn't have to go." Blaine sighed deeply. "I'm so scared... I had a nightmare last night. I wanted to call you but it was two in the morning and you had to work early so..."

"Blaine, you could have called. I wouldn't have minded." There was the sound of Kurt shifting on the other end of the phone, probably getting comfortable on his bed. "Was it about what happened?"

"Yeah... only they were replaced by McKinley jocks and it wasn't Scott getting beat up with me, it was..." Blaine trailed off and chewed on his bottom lip, shutting his eyes against the flood of tears as he remembered the vivid imagery in his dream.

"Who was it?" Kurt prompted.

"You," Blaine breathed out, so much pain in that one syllable that there was silence on Kurt's end. Blaine worried he'd made it awkward and was about to apologise when Kurt spoke.

"But hey, I'm alright, I'm in New York," Kurt replied, his voice just a little too cheerful. "I'm absolutely fine. And you are too. The others won't let anything happen to you, silly."

Blaine smiled weakly. "Yeah... I know... I just wish..." He took a deep breath, being brave. "I wish you were here. I need you..." He noticed how his voice sounded and cursed inwardly when Kurt made a funny sound in response. "Sorry, that was too far."

"No, it's alright. Total honesty has always been our policy since we first met," Kurt said, sounding weird. "Total honesty..."

Blaine rolled onto his front, frowning. "Are you okay? You sound... off."

"I'm... um... I'm fine," Kurt choked out and Blaine clucked his tongue disbelievingly. "Right. I have to be honest too. I... I'm... Blaine, you know..." Kurt sighed deeply. "Imetaguytoday."

Blaine's heart caught at the blurted words that he didn't really understand. He thought he might have heard wrong.

"Can you repeat that?" he asked softly hoping he was wrong.

"I met a guy today," Kurt replied, his voice filled with strong emotions. Blaine recognised guilt and regret, sadness, those seemed to be directed at him. But he also recognised the little lilt hidden in there that meant he was excited. It was very reminiscent of the voice Kurt used to use when they'd just met, when he was first crushing on Blaine and the feelings were new and he was excited.

Blaine knew that tone, had memorised it perfectly.

It killed him that it was being used about somebody who wasn't him.

"Blaine-"

"That's great," Blaine cut him off. Numbness was starting to spread through his body and he couldn't seem to locate his heart anywhere to see how it was handling the news. "What..." Blaine cleared his throat, hoping Kurt couldn't hear how close he was to tears. "What's he like?"

Kurt hesitated for a moment.

"His name is Adam, he's a senior at NYADA and head of the Glee Club there," Kurt bubbled, trying to reign in the good emotions, knowing what it must be doing to Blaine. To Blaine that hurt even more. "He's from England originally so he still has a bit of an accent and it is so cute. He's so good looking too. But of course since he's three years older than me and so much more... attractive and sophisticated I don't really stand a chance so I have no idea why I'm telling you this."

Blaine winced through the entire description and felt despair at the last part. He'd done that to Kurt. He'd made him feel worthless again after he'd spent two years helping him build his confidence. He had to fix this. Time to be selfless. He could curl into a ball and sob for hours later. He could eat an entire tub of ice cream and watch the Notebook. But right now he needed to fix the mess he'd made of Kurt's self esteem.

"No, no Kurt, don't be stupid," Blaine choked out, trying to smile and put as much sincerity into his voice as he could. "Kurt, you're amazing. How could he not see that? Of course you have a chance with him, more than anybody else could. If he looks at you and can't see how beautiful, smart, funny and talented you are then he's either crazy or stupid and you don't want a guy like that. But he will see. He'll see just how incredible you are and how lucky he would be to have you and he won't take it for granted. I know it. After all, it's you we're talking about, and you deserve the best things."

Blaine heard Kurt's voice hitch when he replied.

"Thank you," he whispered. "But-"

"No. Amazing," Blaine repeated. "He'll see that, you just wait."

Kurt laughed weakly, sounding choked up again. "Blaine... you don't have to do that."

"Do what?" Blaine wondered innocently while still pinching his side to stop himself sobbing and begging Kurt not to be with that guy.

Kurt was quiet again. "It doesn't matter. Look, about the Sadie Hawkins dance. You can do this. Remember how you told me you regretted running? Well you went to Prom with me and then transferred to McKinley, those were your first steps to stop running. Guess what, Blaine? This is the final step. If you go to this dance and face all of your fears then you will have done it. You will have beaten those guys who broke you. They won't be able to haunt you anymore."

"I... I never thought of that..." Blaine shut his eyes. "I don't know if I can though."

"Blaine, now it's my turn. You're strong. You're so strong. Stronger than me even though you don't believe it. You're incredible too, you know. You can do this, I know you can because I know you. And I promise I'll keep my phone on that night so you can call me any second it becomes too much and I'll be there with you. You have to do this, you can't back away. You have to be strong. Do it please, do it for yourself and if you can't do that, then do it for me... please?"

Blaine sniffed and a tear escaped despite his efforts to keep it in.

"Okay," he breathed. "I can do it for you."

"I wish you'd do it for you but that's just as good."

"Kurt... I..." Blaine bit his lip until it hurt. "I'm happy for you."

"Blaine-"

Blaine hung up before Kurt could say anything else and he switched his phone off, tossing it aside and curling in on himself. Even if he went to the stupid dance and faced up to all his fears it wouldn't change anything because he still wouldn't be as good as that stupid older, British man who was probably more attractive and talented than Blaine. He should have seen this coming. Why would Kurt spend all his time working to trust Blaine again when he could just move on to someone who wouldn't be so stupid as to throw away the most amazing man in the universe?

Blaine's body shuddered as he let his first sobs out. He cried for a long time. He heard his mother come home and call out to him but he didn't answer, choosing instead to continue crying in peace. Hopefully, she would leave him alone.

Kurt was moving on.

The sad thing was that Blaine knew he would keep waiting. He was still be there. He would listen to Kurt gush about Adam – the name was sour in his mind – and all the things they do together. He would let Kurt cry if things went wrong and give him advice to fix it. He would be happy for him, or at least force himself to put on the facade of happiness for Kurt. He would play the loyal best friend because that was the position Kurt gave him and he would rather take that than nothing. Kurt and Adam would probably be together for a long time, they'd both become successful Broadway stars and get married in Central Park. Kurt would ask Blaine to be his best man and he would. He would stand beside him as he married another man and smile even though he would be dying inside. He would be Kurt's confidant through his whole life with somebody else, supporting him and being happy for every milestone that they had once planned to reach together.

The saddest part was that even then he would still be waiting.