(A/N) Yo what's up everyone ChaoticFoxx here and today, as you can see, there is a new story (Duh). Anyway this story won't be uploaded as often as TT: The Forgotten Story, because I'm not that creative and I don't want to develop a case of writer's block. That would suck and I'm pretty sure you guys won't like that, also this story is mainly a comedy and is made to make you laugh, but it is still a story and not stand up so not everything will be funny and there will be parts where it will be sad and depressing because there will be character deaths, so yeah leave a review so you can tell me what you thought, and or give me some tips on how to improve, you can also just leave a review to say hi I won't mind. So thank you and without further ado to the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did then NaruHina would have happened before Shippuden
-3rd Person POV-
Naruto (age 6) was not like most children for many reasons, some of those reasons were very complicated and one of those, that seemed to cause a lot of problems for the young boy, involved a fox, but let's focus on one of the more simple differences, on their birthday most children would be with their family celebrating and maybe even having a feast with other friends and end the night with a nice slice of cake, unfortunately Naruto was not one of those lucky children. The day was October the tenth this date might not mean much to you, but to the people of the village hidden in the leaves it was a day of celebration, for this day marked the sixth anniversary of the supposed death of the terrible kyuubi no kitsune, of course most of the higher ranked ninja knew that a demon of that caliber could not be so easily killed, sadly this information was not common knowledge so when the civilians found out (six years ago) about the child with the kyuubi sealed within him they believed him to be the reincarnation of the fox, which led to a terrible misunderstanding and caused Naruto many problems. October the tenth was also a day of torture for Naruto because as I just said the villagers and some ninja decided to try to finish what they thought their beloved fourth hokage had attempted to do so long ago, kill the damned fox.
"Gotta run faster" a young buy muttered to himself, currently he was being chased by 50 civilians with knives, pitchforks, and assorted sources of fire, 20 Genin among those was a young man named Mizuki, 5 Chuunin, and a very drunk Jounin. Sadly luck would not be on his side because those Chuunin found traces of mud left by his sandals.
-Naruto's POV
-Timeskip-
I get to my house near the start of the next day, and I look towards my clock.
'3:13 AM, *sigh* that's life... ugh I should probably go to bed but I need to shower', the young blond thought to himself. I took a quick shower and got ready to go to bed. 'I can't believe that I'm not in the mood for ramen'. A quick look around the room showed that it hadn't been cleaned in a long time, it almost looked abandoned. The furniture was broken, the sheets on the bed were torn, and most of the things in the small apartment didn't work. Suddenly there was a quick know on the door and I braced for an explosion, but nothing happened.
"Hello?... Anybody there?", I ask and quickly head to the door. Lying there was a money pouch that looked like a toad, and a weird looking sleeping cap. I quickly try to put the cap on but there seems to be something in it so I take it off to take a look. It's a letter I look at it and it seems to be written in fancy handwriting, but I can make out most of it.
"Dear Naruto,
I hope you enjoy your gifts. Thank you for saving me.
Sincerely
Your secret admirer"
"Well well well looks like you got yourself a girlfriend kiddo good job. I'm proud of you" a voice said out of nowhere.
I turn around to see
"Ero-Sennin!", I run and give him a hug.
"Brat I told you not to call me that, but its good to see you too Naruto", he takes a quick look around the room.
"I'm sorry I didn't clean up Ero-Sennin, I didn't know if you would visit ya know", the last time he made me clean my room after his visit.
"Kid I only missed your birthday once, and I'm not mad at you besides I've got you a present for you… ya know", Jiraiya (Age 43) teases.
"What is it? Are you gonna teach me my first super awesome jutsu?", I can't wait for this. Last year he wasn't able to come but Ero-Sennin always gets me really cool stuff.
"I've got two gifts to give you this year Naruto one is a jutsu, and the next is some advice"
"Cool what's the jutsu?" "That one we'll have to wait for a bit, sorry Naruto"
"Awww c'mon… fine what's your advice". A dark gleam flashes in his eyes and I know he's become serious, his eyes no longer have the mischievous twinkle and the perverted aura fades.
"Naruto there will come a time in your life when you will want people to acknowledge you like an Inuzuka by shouting and boasting, but let me tell you now that will not be helping you at all. What I'm trying to say is that. Hmmm… Do you ever wonder why I am the way I am?"
"Because you're a super pervert?", that's his usual answer, but I get the feeling it wasn't the correct one.
He smiles and says, "Damn right, but no. Kid I need you to be serious. It's a good time to tell you this that way you can learn some respect. Its all an act. I act this way so that people will underestimate me and be caught off guard. A big part of being a ninja includes the art of deception. This façade or disguise or act if you'd like to call it has made a lot of my opponents underestimate me, which led to either their death or defeat. You need to learn that lesson, I'm not saying that you have to become a pervert like me, and act like I do", he says in a serious tone his perverted smile returns and he says, "Although I'd be so proud if you did"
"Wow Pervy Sage I was just starting to gain some respect for you and you ruined it", I say playfully.
"Naruto are you home" "Yeah gramps I'm here"
"Good I have presents for you", he (Age 61) opens the door and comes inside slowly.
"Hey Sarutobi-sensei" "Hello Jiraiya"
"You two know each other?... Wait sensei he was your teacher? How strong are you gramps?"
"Kid he could still kick my ass without even trying", Ero-Sennin says in a light tone.
"Here is your allowance Naruto, and here is your present", he hands me a scroll.
"What's this gramps" "Let me get that for you Naruto", I hand Ero-Sennin the scroll and he placed it on the ground and touches it with his index finger. Suddenly the old and broken furniture is replaced by new furniture.
"Wow thanks gramps"
"Ah finally", Jiraiya says loudly. A toad about the size of a watermelon hops in through the window carrying a really big scroll that has the kanji for forbidden on it.
"Woah what's that?"
"Jiraiya explain yourself before I have to discipline you like a child in front of Naruto", Gramps says angrily.
"I want Naruto to learn a jutsu from the forbidden scroll", Pervy Sage says calmly.
"Why the hell would you want to do that… which one?"
"The shadow clone technique" "I'll teach it to him, but if he can't do it then… you'll have to stay in the village to help do half of my paper work"
"Fine. I can live with that", " I'm so confused ya know. What's a shadow clone… Is it like a clone made of shadows?", I ask.
"The shadow clone technique is a very dangerous B-Rank jutsu. It takes a lot of chakra, and can leave the user with sever chakra exhaustion, and can kill the user if it is over used. Also the memory backlash can prove to be a problem as well", Gramps exlplains.
"Memory backlash? What's that?".
"Well you see Naruto these clones give their memories to you. Let's suppose that I make 10 shadow clone and send 5 of them to study a ninjutsu scroll, and the other 5 to go to buy things from the nearest village then whenever my clones either are popped by me or by someone else then I will gain the knowledge of that scroll. Pretty cool huh", Pervy Sage says.
"That's so cool, wait but if you already knew it then why didn't you just teach it to me".
"Its his way of asking for permission", the Hokage tells me.
"Oh. Wait so if you get the memories of the clones. Gramps can you make shadow clones?", I ask.
"Yes of course Naruto"
"Gramps teach me another jutsu and I'll tell you a really big secret", I whisper loudly.
"Hmm ok I don't see why not… Hmmm let's see Naruto I'm going to teach you the transformation jutsu that way you can prank more people", he says.
"Are you sure that's its good"
"Of course. Jiraiya demonstrate", Ero-Sennin then turned into a dog, then a book, and then back to normal.
"Woah that's so cool", I exclaim.
"Ok so tell me the secret then I'll teach you the jutsu", he says.
"Ok so if the clones give you their memories why don't you make them do your paperwork?", I say.
Suddenly gramps stops moving and Ero-Sennin sits down and gets in a thinking pose. After about ten minutes of gramps being in shock he gives me a hug and says
"Thank you Naruto"
"No problem gramps"
"Nice job Naruto you just solved the Hokage's biggest problem", Jiraiya says jokingly.
"Well Naruto its way past your bed time and we've got to go"
-3rd Person POV-
Jiraiya and Hiruzen walk out of Naruto's house to have a small talk, while Naruto goes to lay down and dreams of another life and Ralph Waldo Pickle-chips.
"Why did you do it?", Hiruzen asked his perverted student.
"I want him to be able to escape those fucking idiots that you call civilians", The toad sage replied.
"Very well will you be able to come next year? Also when will you send me your next book honestly I can't wait, and could you please send me another copy of Icha Icha Paradise I seem to have lost my autographed copy", he requested.
"Sure sensei, but don't let it happen too often I need to find my spy network somehow", Jiraiya responded.
"It was good seeing you Jiraiya", the Hokage says as he walks away and grabs his pipe.
"Now to give Naruto a nice surprise", The toad sage of mount Myoboku said to himself.
-Timeskip-
Naruto awoke to find his closet completely filled with new clothes, ninja sandals, training shorts, and ninja pants, but the best part was in the living room. In the living room was an open scroll that says see you next year, a pair of wooden sandals, and a tiny mirror?.
-Naruto's POV-
I look at the mirror to see if its some kind of special mirror. 'Nope just a normal mirror'. I see tiny red marks appear below my eyes. 'I look just Pervy Sage when he was younger in that picture'.
…
…
'Wait I look like Pervy Sage… I can't decide whether this is cool or horrible... Oh well whatever at least I got a lot of clothes and a new jutsu'
I ran back to my bed and grabbed the box below it. I put the letter from my secret admirer in it, and immediately took it back I pulled everything out of the box and laid all of the things on the ground and looked at my prized possessions. A book titled Icha Icha Paradise (Make out Paradise) which was stolen from the hokage himself, and is autographed by The Legendary Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku himself, a picture of Gramps and me on top of the head of the Fourth Hokage having a picnic, the next and newest addition was a letter from my secret admirer.
-3rd Person POV-
-Timeskip-
Naruto (Age 7) was relaxing at home while one of his shadow clones ran from the mob chasing 'him'. Naruto had set up his table as best as he could and made tea. He drank a cup of milk while the tea was preparing. A small toad tapped against Naruto's window, he immediately went to go open it. A couple seconds later Jiraiya the toad sage appeared in all of his glory in the middle of Naruto's living room.
"Hey there kiddo", he says calmly.
"Hey Pervy Sage what have you been up to tell me everything. I haven't seen you in forever ya know", he excitedly runs to the kitchen and serves himself and the sage a cup of tea. ' Aww damn I evaporated all the water'.
"Hey Pervy Sage would you like to drink anything", "got any alcohol", was the quick response he received. 'No, but I can get some. I'll just make a shadow clone transform to look like him and buy some I'm sure they won't question the legendary toad sage'.
"Let me check", they young boy replied, meanwhile Jiraiya summoned a toad and said "Bring the fox summoning contract from the vault the boy needs company" 'and his father wanted him to get along with the big bad fox then getting all said fox's surrogate children to love Naruto would be a good start right?'
"Hey Ero-Sennin what's your favorite kind" "Just get any kind of sake, although if you get Blue Fox I will love you forever"
"Lucky for you that's the only one I got", he yelled
-Clone's Memories (Clone POV(duh))-
I walk up to the fanciest looking bar with lights and it looks completely packed
'Ok I can do this. Just be extremely perverted'.
"Hi I would like to go in could you please open the door", I say as I knock the door.
"State your name and we'll see if you're are someone the owner recognises then we can let you in. If not then sorry old man you'll just have to go hit on young girls elsewhere"
"My name is Jiraiya"
"... As in The Jiraiya?", The owner asks
"Uhhh. Is there another one I should be aware about?", I ask 'I should probably let Pervy Sage know if there is another guy named Jiraiya that's taking his credit(Remember he's 7)'
"Umm No I don't think so sir what would you like to drink?"
"I'll have your most expensive drink. Give me 8 bottles",I say
"Uhh ok are you aware that its extremely expensive?", the security guard asks.
"Silence you fool! Sorry master Jiriaya I could offer you a trade", the owner offers.
"Sure I'll listen to what you got to say ya know"
"Sign my wall and Sponsor my Bar"
"Of course I'll do that", I respond quickly
I sign the wall and quickly leave before getting too much attention. Last time that I transformed into Ero-Sennin a lot of women seemed not want to be close to me.
-Naruto's POV-
I headed towards Jiraiya and I find him with one of those giant scrolls, not as big as the one he carries, but pretty big.
"Here you go Pervy Sage a bottle of Blue Fox sake it says on the bottle that it is now officially endorsed and sponsored by Jiraiya of the Sannin. When did you do that Ero-Sennin?", I ask in an innocent tone.
"Dunno I was probably really drunk anyway here is your present", he says as he hands me the scroll
"What's this thing, well I don't care its really cool ya know", I say excitedly.
"This my young boy is a summoning scroll that comes included with a story. Are you ready?"
"Yeah let's do this dad!", I say
-3rd Person POV-
…
"Sorry Jiraiya-sama", Naruto says in a depressed tone.
"Its ok son come here", the old sage said in a soft tone. Naruto walks over and sits on his lap (A/N- Do not take this in a sexual way this is one of the very few father-like relationships Naruto ever had. Tbh when Jiraiya died I cried.).
"Now how about a story son. It'll be great ya know", The sage said in his best impression of Naruto.
"Sure Pops", Naruto says.
"Your story begun the day that you were born your father the Fourth Hokage sealed the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox within you because he believed that if he wouldn't be willing to sacrifice his own child what right did he have to sacrifice another child. Your father always believed that you should grow to get used to using and eventually taming the fox and using his power to protect the leaf village. That is your story Naruto now for the story of this scroll. Our story begins with Taruna Mizunakame the first and only sage of the foxes. You see the foxes are a very very difficult race to be allowed to be partnered with. Don't worry I believe in you Naruto, you can and will be the next holder of the fox summons. Anyway the foxes can be very stubborn but extremely loyal, and once you have proven your loyalty to them they will never betray you. Taruna found the summons contract hidden in a temple deep in a frozen jungle near the Arctic-badlands and returned to his family which were travelers from a foreign land. As time went by the foxes bonded with Taruna and offered him immortality so that they would not be alone, but Taruna refused because he did not want to see his family die and him not being able to go with them. The foxes saw this as a betrayal and they revoked his summoning contract. Since that day the fox summoning contract was kept by the Mizunakame family. They eventually settled and became a clan they shortened their name too."
"What did they change it to pops?",Naruto asked in a clearly curious tone.
"The Mizunakame family changed their name to Namikaze when they became a clan and joined the village hidden in the leaves", the perverted hermit explained.
"Woah did Dad summon foxes?" "No there was a legend that was passed that if the wrong person tried to sign the fox contract the shinigami would be summoned and would eat the soul of that person. There was also a story that the parents of the one would know when they saw him and they would give him the contract. Naruto when I found out your parents had died I was devastated, but then I was reverse-summoned by the toads and they showed me the fox contract with a paper that said 'He's the one give him his inheritance when he is ready'", The toad hermit spoke softly because he didn't know how Naruto would react.
"Is that all they left for me?", they you boy said softly as he cried onto Jiraiya's shoulder.
"Of course not there were lots of scrolls that Minato and Kushina left for you, but most of them were lost. The Kyuubi probably ate them ya know... the scrolls not your parents. So when you have enough power to summon him and of course have gained both his approval and respect he'll probably give them to you", The toad sage said.
"Why the fuck would I give a shit about what the damn fox thinks", Naruto said in anger as he jumped of the sage's lap and on the floor.
"Silence you damn brat!", Jiraiya said in a steely tone, "Boss summons are not creatures that you want to piss off specially not this one. Also don't make assumptions...
that day never felt right for me, because besides the fact that your parents died all of the myths, lore, legends, tales, and facts about the Kyuubi no Kitsune said that he was a prankster and trickster. Like all demons he did kill a lot, but he never just outright massacred villages. In most tales he would seduce a woman and that would cause people to attack him and he would kill them. In other he offered a deal and if the other person would not do their part of the deal then he would slaughter their people. And in some when he was portrayed as the protagonist he was shown to have extreme bad luck."
"Well that doesn't exactly sound fair does it Pervy sage", the boy retorted sarcastically.
"Well he is a demon Naruto, but I could never see you father doing any of those things. Which is why it just doesn't add up. Besides after having his chakra and presence out of his body for centuries don't you think that the first thing he would have done is just popped back to his den. Also in that attack only the Kyuubi attacked doesn't that sound weird I mean wouldn't a boss summon bring his brethren as well. Come on Naruto you have to think I know that you're young but I wouldn't start throwing blame even on the demons until you know whats really going on", Jiraiya ranted.
"You're right that doesn't make sense and also who summoned him?", The young boy added.
"See I hadn't even thought of that. You know that you can talk to the Kyuubi right?"
"WHAT! Wait I can do that?"
'Of course you damned brat I'm sealed within you. Why wouldn't you be able to talk to me'
"AHHH! I can hear it in my head help me Ero-sennin", Naruto yelped in panic
"Calm down Naruto he can't hurt you when he's in your mind", the sage explained
"Oh right... Is there anyway that you would be able to listen to it"
'Him you fucking brat I am a male. DO you want fucking proof... fine. Take a fucking look'
Suddenly Naruto found himself in a sewer which smelled like well shit.
'It smells like shit'
'WELL THERE ISN'T A FUCKING BATHROOM IN HERE SO ITS NOT LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT'
'What the hell are you doing in there you stupid fox'
'This is the stupid seal and its tighter than a virgin so tell Jiraiya to do what he does best and loosen this bitch up. Come closer Naruto Namikaze Uzumaki'
I walk towards the cage and see a giant piece of paper with the kanji for seal written on it. Suddenly the fox jumps at the cage as if he's going to ram it, but he twists in the air... unfortunately that let's me see proof that he is indeed a male.
'Told you'
'Did you do that on purpose you fucking fox?!'
'Yes. Now before we argue. To let Jiraiya in here he has to loosen the seal a bit'
'No way then I'd die, because you'd escape'
'Well yes you would die if I escaped, but even if I did I would probably die soon afterwards. I'll explain why at another time its not currently important'
Suddenly I find myself out of the mind-sewer place.
"Hey Pervy Sage the fox says and I quote ' This is the stupid seal and its tighter than a virgin so tell Jiraiya to do what he does best and loosen this bitch up' two things; one what is a virgin and why is it tight?"
"Those questions will not be answered until you are older unless you're like me in which case wait until you're 13", The Sage said, "Now about that key"
"Summoning jutsu"
-Timeskip 2 hrs-
-InMindscape-
(After 'The same explanation that's given every damn time')
'So that's what happened?', Naruto asked.
'Yup'
'I see', the sage said.
'Jiraiya there is a way that we can share some details with the boy through a deeper mind connection if you loosen it a bit more'
'Why are you so relaxed?'
'Oh you see the fox den is surrounded by many plants among those plants Taruna discovered a weird looking one called hemp. Since most of the kitsunes' at the den are mostly of the fire attribute it causes the hemp to burn which releases relaxing gas that spreads over the den. The last time I was at the den we were preparing for a new summoner to be signed so we gathered as much hemp as possible and when I was transferred to this child I happened to be high'
'But I thought that Taruna betrayed your people because he denied your gift of immortality?'
'What? No way that's what they thought happened? Nah he just said that people were thinking that I was going to take advantage of him so we made an agreement to get a new summoner, so that he could just relax for the rest of his life. His family ended up finding no one to sign the contract so the scroll was kept in the vault until they moved and joined the Leaf Village, then it was kept in a vault at the Namikaze compound'
'Oh I see, that makes it a lot less dramatic', the sage said lamely.
The Toad Sage and The Kyuubi then proceeded to talk about many things such as sex, drugs, more sex, women, and different types kinks for the next 4 hours.
'I am so confused can you guys please just slow down. You're using really big words, and you're talking about things I've never hear about can you please stop and explain"
'Oh I am so sorry Naruto I forgot that you could still hear us I thought that you had fallen asleep'
'Kit you are not old enough for this', the fox paused and then said,
'12?'
'12? what do you mean 12?', Naruto asked
'Sure 12', the sage replied.
'What the fuck!'
(A/N)
Ok, before you decide that I'm insane and shouldn't be writing fanfic you're probably right, but I'm also high so yeah. Again this is meant to be for adults only so if any kids are still reading this, welp I tried. This is mainly a comedy and partly romance, because NaruHina. If you decide that this was funny then let me know and I'll right while high more often, if not welp too bad, also just because this is a comedy doesn't mean it can't get serious at some parts there will be character deaths. Also concerning the initiation for the foxes, that's based on a life experience of mine which I will put at the end of this chapter. To clear somethings up Kurama and Jiraiya decided that Naruto was too young to listen to that kind of conversation so they decided on a more appropriate age. In no way am I saying that drugs are good even though I personally use them. Don't do drugs kids. For all adults who do drugs and are reading this: Sup. For those that don't: Sup. Also the reason I picked 12 was because graduation from the academy and when I was 12 I was already cussing like a sailor and knew most of the things about sex and drugs, and shit like that (Yep I've lived a very fucked up life).
Anyway with that being said lets get back to the story – Pilot Foxx is already high as fuck so let's keep goin'
-Naruto's POV-
-Timeskip 5 years later-
(Very Important- everything that has happened in the academy so far is cannon. Naruto (Age 12) hasn't noticed Hinata. YET. He has a crush on Sakura, also over the years the secret admirer has sent more letters and gifts. If you don't know who she is then you're fucking retarded.)
'Finally this year I'll definitely pass'
'Kit you said that last year'
'NOW YOU TALK! ITS BEEN FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND NOW YOU TALK YOU FUCKING FOX! WHAT THE HELL, and where the fuck is Ero-Sennin. I haven't seen him in five years'
'Yes. Jiraiya should get here in a couple of minutes '
'Anything else you would like to tell me'
'The Hyuuga girl is your secret admirer, uhh you will mature about 6 years worth in the next 10 hrs, and befriend the bug kid, besides the fact that he would be a very good friend to you, he would help you get me some weed'
'Is that all you think about... Wait how am I gonna mature that much?'
'Mentally not physically'
'Oh... WAIT HINATA IS... WAT...'
'And I've broken him... ooh he's here... and linked'
'WASSSSUUUUUPPPP!' (SAME)
'Let's begin the process'
'Yes let's'
'Wait guys let's think about this'
(This is my way of un-stupefying Naruto. He's no longer an Idiot and will only act like one to keep up appearances he'll fool most people. Kinda like Jiraiya like I hinted I would do earlier in the chapter. Naruto now has the mind of basically a 18 year old, but still oblivious man. Also he no longer has a crush on Sakura, because well would any of you like a girl that physically and verbally abused you.)
-Timeskip-
Ugh what happened yesterday... I can't recall shit. 'What time is it'. I look at the clock to find that its 5:3 AM. 'Oh that's not so bad'. I look at the clock again... its April 3rd...
…
...'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU'
Suddenly I'm blasted with the memories of what I've done during the previous months everything is the same except that ever since Tuesday 3 weeks ago every morning before class I make shadow clones and they go train in training ground 44... The forest of death. They train on Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Fuinjutsu. For some reason I suck complete and utter ass at Genjutsu. Shit! Graduation exam is on May 10 and May 11 (Dates are assumed) is when we get our Genin squads. I suddenly get a massive headache 'Oh that's the memory recoil... This sucks'. I run to the restroom and puke for quite the while. I start to get ready for the academy but then I remember.
"Shadow clone jutsu", I yell and about 200 clones appear (He's been training with shadow clones for 3 weeks. The level of training is equivalent to the training he would've received from Jiraiya, but he is only training the basics and lots of low rank jutsus and techniques. In other words he's not OP. Also he knows the body flicker technique. He has way better chakra control, and has signed the fox summoning contract, but still hasn't summoned anything not because he can't just because he hasn't tried it yet)
'Hmmm class start at 6:00, but I always get there at 6:20 (AM duh) and its 6:05 so if I hurry and clean myself and if I haul ass then I'll get there around 6:30'.
'Kid I got three things to tell ya. One you know how to use the body flicker technique, and two take a shower, and three stop yelling out the names of the jutsus you use its a very dumb thing to do when you can just do it without saying it'.
'Wait I can do that!?'
'Of course now go you're ripe fool ya fool'
'Wat...
…
… ok'
Faraway in the village hidden in the clouds a young rapper sneezed.
-3rd person POV-
-Elsewhere around 15 minutes later-
'Hmmmm... Naruto is late.', Iruka sweatdrops, 'Well more than normal'
The door suddenly opens and everyone in the classroom looks at it. Naruto walks in slowly.
"YOU'RE LATE NARUTO", Sakura (age 12 (just like everyone else)) shrieks.
'Naruto' suddenly disperses in a cloud of smoke and turns into a laughing Mizuki.
"Yeah I know. So sorry 'bout that its just that I was reading and I got to a really good part. I got carried away and by the time I looked at the clock I was late so I got here as fast I could", Obviously the young boy was lying through his teeth, but nobody notices. 'Besides Emo duck-butt over there wouldn't take too kindly to learning that the 'Dead Last' of the class knew the body flicker technique a technique which the 'Elite Uchiha' didn't know', Naruto then pulls out a book with an orange cover and start to read. Naruto is wearing his green googles, an orange shirt with the kanji for oil written on the back (in black (Hahaha see what I did there (Also the color of the drawing is black))), black ninja pants, and navy blue ninja sandals.
"Very well Naruto", Iruka said then smiled he knew all to well how Naruto would pretend to be an idiot in his class.
-Flashback (2 weeks ago)-
-Iruka's POV-
(In this part Iruka has already bonded with Naruto so they are already close, also he already knows that Naruto isn't an idiot, he doesn't know what his training is)
"Hey Iruka-nii what are we doing today?", Naruto asks
"Well I didn't have anything planned, but we can go to Icharaku for ramen if you want?", I offer.
"Do you even have to ask nii-sama", he says quickly
"No, I guess not but I do have to ask this have you been the fruits and vegetables that I buy you every week?", I question
"Yeah of course"
-Timeskip-
"Iruka Umino please open the door", a voice says from outside.
"Who is it?", I ask while I grab a kunai from my vest.
"My name is Jiraiya and I'm a relative of Naruto", Jiraiya says.
-Timeskip-
(Jiraiya explains to Iruka about Naruto's mental state, and why he acts like an idiot )
"Its kinda like how you only used enough of your strength to pass your chuunin exam even though the Hokage could easily see that you were at least the level of a Mid-Jounin", Jiraiya-sama explains.
"Actually the reason I did that was because I was lazy", I said. Jiraiya let out a hearty laugh.
"Tomorrow I want you to let Mizuki teach the class while you go to training ground forty four and watch Naruto train", he says.
-End Flashback-
-3rd Person POV-
'Oh Naruto-kun I wish that you would sit next to me', Hinata thought.
At the same time Kurama was telling Naruto to do just that.
'Naruto go sit next to her'
'Who?'
'Don't play dumb with me Kit, you know who'
'No way Kurama-sama (Remember that he's a boss summon and they're meant to be treated with respect) I've never talked to her before. What would I say to her'.
'Doesn't matter just be you, also people are noticing that you haven't answered Iruka's question. Oh also you're drooling, this is a perfect time to start phase two'
'Good idea Kurama'
"NARUTO!", Iruka yelled using his infamous big head no jutsu.
"Oh sorry sensei I was just thinking about chapter 5 where Kuratoki the noble prince finally got enough balls to ask Airi the shy maiden on a date and after a heated make out session throughout his house they finally reached his bedroom. I just couldn't help but fantasi" "NARUTO! Not in my class" (As you can see phase 2 is acting like Jiraiya)
'Perfect time for some simple recon', The blond says to himself.
Kiba suddenly burst out laughing, 'Immature, doesn't have a perverted nature, and appreciates jokes and breaking of tension', Sasuke blushes lightly with a look of disgust on his face and looks at the ground, 'Not shy but is clearly not fully mature, probably still sees himself as too good for something so lowly as this', Hinata blushes a very deep shade of red and faints, 'Awww how cute... ahem... extremely shy, but mostly mature', Shino blushes lightly and a small perverted smile spreads across his face, 'Hmm a closet pervert that could be fun. Fully mature and enjoys jokes, wow I didn't think that he was capable of feelings', Ino looks at me in disgust but is blushing lightly, 'Semi-mature, probably thinking about duck butt that would explain the blush... same for the rest of the girls', Choji laughed and ate his chips, 'He's pretty mature, enjoys those jokes, and really likes to eat', and Shikamaru glances in my direction and smiles, then looks back at the clouds, 'Mostly mature, enjoys being lazy, the look in his eyes shows that he's secretly analyzing everything that is happening in the room. Hmm that is pretty much it'
'Good job Kit. That was a smart thing to do, well done'
'Thank you Kurama-sensei'
'Yes thank you for teaching him Kurama-sama, but its interrupting my class', (Iruka)
'Oh right sorry'
"Alright kids today we are having going to study the history of the third great ninja war", Iruka said in a fake enthusiastic tone.
-Timeskip-
-Naruto's POV-
'Ok you got this Naruto just walk up to her and talk to her'
'But about what' 'That's your problem I'm going to take a nap'
"Hey Hinata mind if I sit next to you?", I ask in a soft tone.
"N-n-no i-its ok N-n-naruto", she stutters nervously.
"Ok thank you Hinata. So what's up?", I say trying to initiate a conversation with her.
"O-o-oh n-nothing I a-am j-just e-eating m-my lunch. W-wha-what a-ab-out y-you N-nar-uto", She replies.
'She sounds like she's afraid that if she says the wrong thing I won't talk to her anymore'
'That's because she probably does think that. Remember Naruto she looks up to you and probably sees you as too good for her so in her mind anything that she does wrong will make you hate her instantly, I know it sounds very weird, but that is probably what she thinks, also it doesn't help that she has the worse case of shyness I've seen since Asami, and remember the letters she sends you every year. In every single one she thanks you for saving her from the bullies she probably doesn't think that you remember which would make sense since you have barely acknowledged her presence'
'That's not why I didn't talk to her in these months, and you know that I just get really flustered around her and I can't gather my words, and I don't want to seem like too much of an idiot when talking to her'
'Naruto say something quick. You still haven't replied'
'Shit! I forgot', "Oh uhh... umm I'm just here ya know. Not doing much ya know", I say (Naruto's verbal tick will act up when he gets nervous, when he isn't he'll only say it when it makes sense), "Well I'll leave ya to it ya know. Later Hinata I'll talk to ya later"
"B-b-bye N-n-naruto-k-k-kun", she responds in barely a whisper.
'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I looked like an idiot'
'Its ok Kit it actually helps with the facade, and there is no way that she could ever hate you. The girl practically worships the ground you walk on. Next time that you talk to her tell her that she looks really pretty you'll be glad you did trust me'
'Ok time for questions. One who is Asami? Two how the hell do you know all of those things? And three why are you helping me?', I ask the Kurama.
'Ok Asami was my wife, she died long ago. When I was young I was a lot like you and she was very shy. I learned all of what I've told you from personal experience, and I'm helping you because I don't want you to ruin all of your chance with a girl that likes you so much, because you say something that can be easily misunderstood. Besides my bad luck traveled to you as soon as you became my jinchuuriki, so I'm trying to thank you for taking it off me'
'Wait why didn't the previous jinchuuriki get the bad luck?'
'Because her seal was never loosened'
'Well shit'
'Yup, but don't worry it only acts up during battle or when a lot of people are paying attention. Or when the girl that you truly like is around you'
'Is that why I get really nervous around Hinata?'
'No, but you finally admitted it'
'What did I ', 'That you', the Kyuubi was interrupted by the least likely person that would normally interrupt anything with him speaking.
"You like Hinata don't you Naruto. Is that why you are looking in her direction and drooling?", Shino questioned (Shino will be OOC because I really like his character but it doesn't let you do much so I'm changing him a little, don't worry he will still be stoic and have a lack of feelings).
"Uhhhhhhhhh... no?", I replied lamely.
"Why do you respond my question with a lie when I know that you indeed do have a crush on Hinata, how you ask simple every day you glance at Hinata and smile then when she is doing her assignments you stare at her. Why do you deny yourself the pleasure of having a woman care for you it seems illogical, in this line of work we could die in any mission we're sent on", He says.
"While that is correct Shino we are not ninja yet we are academy students, also the reason that I do the things I do doesn't concern you, but thanks for offering your advice, also good job seeing through my facade", I reply.
"It was easy to see through, how you ask well every time that you look at Hinata your facade breaks and all of your emotions are readable. Also the fact that I've seen you train in training ground forty four helps", he responds without a hint of emotion in his voice.
"You are a very interesting person Shino Aburame its a shame that you and your clan get bad rep for using insects, personally I've always thought that was really cool. Would you like to go train with me after class, I'll teach you some more advanced Taijutsu, the reason being that I've noticed your clan focuses on your clan techniques which is fine, but we must prepare for every contingency and plan accordingly", I say.
"You are also a very interesting person Naruto Uzumaki, yes I would like to train with you this afternoon, I will see you then I understand if you don't want to be seen hanging out with me so I'll take my leave", he starts to walk away
"Don't worry I won't care about what they think I'll sit with you and if you want we can read together", I say as I gesture at my book.
"I wouldn't mind some reading after all today we are supposed to team up with a classmate and study for the test next week", He replied.
"Ok then let's go", I say.
-3rd Person POV-
The young boys walked back to the classroom together and chatted about bugs and what kind of food they would get after training. They were probably one of the weirdest pair of friends that most would ever see, but they didn't care their friendship was just beginning and they wouldn't let something as simple as others opinion get in the way of them.
-Meanwhile-
In the village hidden in the waterfall a young girl awoke to find her house trashed again.
"That's it I'm not putting up with this shit anymore I'm done", she said to no one in particular.
Two hours later said young girl left her village to wander. She left no trace of her disappearance, not that anyone would care or be bothered enough to notice (I know that Fuu was treated good in the anime and manga, but this is my story and for plot purposes she will be a wanderer and occasionally she will run into either Naruto or some of the Konoha 11).
(A/N)
So a couple of years ago my friend Screaming Eagle (yes I know that's a badass name) took me to meet his tribe, because why the fuck not. Anyway we had a peace pipe smoking ritual and I was given the name Stalking Fox. Yes I know pretty fucking cool, but I just go by Fox now even though it ain't my real name. So yeah I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter, because that was hella fun for me to make. I will not be doing this in My teen titans story... maybe I don't know tell me what you guys think. Leave a review for me to read telling me how awesome you thought this chapter was or if you're just reading this last part because you wanted to know about the peace pipe thing then go back and finish the chapter bitch. Also leave a review to tell me just how much I suck at life if you want to (pls no), or just leave one if you wanna say hi, and with all of that being said I'll talk to you fuckers in the next chapter.
Oh one more thing Kurama will be male he will not be female. Nope he has a massive pair of fuzzy nuts #FuzzyNuts.
Bye ^-^ .