A/N: Okay, so basically Edward leaves Bella in the forest in New Moon, but instead of trying to act normal for Charlie, Bella goes into serious depression. Gradually she begins to unfold, what with Jacob being around, but even he can't ease her pain. Bella can only choose how she wants the rest of her life to turn out....but that is one difficult choice to make.
(Bare with me, chapters will be kind slow, but I'll be working hard on them. Hope you enjoy :D)

When all hope seizes to prevail, you have no choice but to find some sort of courage and try to be happy again.

At least that is what I've been trying to convince myself for so long. I knew I would never get over this ache, but I wanted to live and forget about him somehow. No. Not forget, but keep him somewhere safe in my heart where he will always remain. Just for me to fantasize over in my time of need.

I wasn't angry with any of them for leaving me in Forks, but I was however disappointed that the last words he left me with was, It will be as if I never existed. What a ridiculous concept, as if I could live in a world where he was forbidden from. Did he really expect me to live on with my human life like it hadn't been touched by an angel? I refused to live by his words. He did exist, and the precious moments I spent with him and his family, was the best time of my life.

But tonight was going to be different.

I was determined not to think about them. I had promised Jacob that much, and he deserved his happiness too.

Jacob had been fairly lenient towards my slow progress with overcoming my fears. Instead of being cocky about their departure, he surprised me. He was right there, by my side, hovering over me like my own personal protector. It was wrong to keep him, knowing that I didn't feel as strongly about him as he did for me, but I couldn't find the strength to let him go.

Tonight was prom for the excited teens of Forks High. I was taking Jacob.

Jessica and Angela took me to Port Angele's for a dress hunt, but in truth I really needed advice from my best friend Alice. I missed her sense of fashion, and pitifully, I missed how she used to fancy me up until I looked as beautiful as a vampire. Well, not even close, but I liked to think of it that way. It just wasn't the same, but I ended up choosing a blue cobalt, satin garment that attached around my neck and flowed freely just above me knee's.

I sat at my bathroom mirror for an hour, deciding what I could possibly do with my hair. Three taps at the door broke my concentration.

"Hey sweetie, it's me." Renee called softly.

Renee had insisted that she should be here when I left with Jacob to the venue. Apparently it was a tradition that both parents should be there to witness their child's moment as they left hand in hand. She flew up with Phil about a week ago, and she's been planning this day ever since. It was completely ridiculous if you asked me.

"Come in."

"Jacob will be here in an hour." She informed me, and came over to run her fingers through my hair.

I sighed. "I think I need a mother's advice." I admitted shamefully.

She smiled at me, and began twisting my and curling my hair in her hands, her lips pursed.

"Nothing too crazy now." I cautioned.

"Of course not." And then she got to work. Pulling and tugging, and curling the strands of my hair. I was a little bit afraid about the end result, but she looked like she knew what she was doing, so I let her take control.

When she was done she moved onto my makeup which I neglected to do, since I didn't have Alice's assistance, and because I wasn't a big fan of facial product. I sat silent as she smudged stuff onto my face. I was hoping I didn't turn out looking like a clown, but I was surprised yet again.

"All done." She spoke, moving a side to reveal the mirror. She analyzed my face and by the spreading smile forming on her lips, she could tell I was awe-struck.

I couldn't believe it was me in the reflection. I had no idea my mom had this kind of talent in her. She didn't go overboard with anything at all, but instead she kept it natural. My complexion looked spontaneously smooth and clear, instead of the ghostly complexion I dreaded. My eyes were dark and mysterious, lips soft and plump. I marveled at my hair, and loved the new look. She had tied half of my hair up, and let the rest cascade down over my shoulders.

"Wow, mom. You shouldn't have." I teased, playing with a piece of my hair.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed my head. "You're absolutely beautiful."

"Thanks." I blushed.

She kissed my forehead again and placed both her hands on my face, forcing me to look into her eyes. I tried to smile.

"Listen Bella. I want you to just let go of the past for now and just have fun. I don't want you to have any regrets tonight, I just...want you to live." Her voice was soft, but her eyes were serious.

"That's a lot to ask of me." I murmured.

She hugged me close for a moment, and then pulled back. "Just try." She whispered, and crept back out the door.

I let out a huge sigh, and stared at myself. Renee wasn't fooled. She could see past the calm face I tried to put on, and all she wanted was for me to be happy. Tonight of all nights. I could tell Charlie wanted the same thing. Maybe they were getting sick of my glum mood.

I stood and opened the mirror cabinet, contemplating my next move. The bright orange tablet bottle stood out more than anything, and I scowled at the print with my name. Who would have thought that I would end up needing pills to ease my own pain. It was degrading, and I hated myself for letting it come to this. I took the bottle with shaky fingers, pursing my lips.

It will help you. The noble part of me concluded.

I shook my head, and shoved the bottle back into the cupboard. I slammed the door so it wouldn't taunt me again. I glanced at the mirror briefly.

"Gahh!" I bellowed, my hand flying to my heart. Charlie stood behind me with a disapproving expression. I whirled around to face him, my head spinning. "You scared me."

He continued to gaze at me with the same look that had me cowering.

"You're not taking your pills, Bella?" He whispered, anxiously. I could see his eyes revolve into panic.

I dropped my head, definitely guilty. "I.....I don't want to feel numb tonight." I spoke in a low voice, wishing that he would stop looking at me like I was a criminal.

"Bella...." He groaned.

"Dad. How can you expect me to move on with my life if you have me on this stupid medication? It doesn't cure me of anything, it's just making it harder for me to-" I broke off, feeling the frustration clouding over. I took a deep breath, and started again. "Listen, I just want to enjoy myself. Can't I at least have that privilege?"

I stared at him helplessly while he thought for a while. Downstairs, the doorbell rang. My heart accelerated.

Charlie finally smiled and came over to wrap his arm around my waist. "I love you, Bella."

"Love you too."

Hope you liked the first chapter. Stay tuned, I'm sure you'll like the rest :P..