This is my first Junjou fanfic. I got the idea from watching the anime, then read some of the manga and still wanted more detail. I've decided to write what I think may have led up to the night between Hiroki and Akihiko (Usagi-san will be called by his formal name, as that's what Hiroki calls him). This story contains yaoi, as well as explicit material. All characters belong to Shungiku Nakamura. Please enjoy!

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Tonight will be the night. Hiroki stared at his textbook, not really seeing any of the words on the page, as his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of his dinner plans with Akihiko. They always went out on Thursdays after they were both done with their classes, a standing date, as it were. And ever since he had found out about his friend's feelings for Takahashi Takahiro, he had made it his mission to find out more about this...unrequited love interest. And, after thinking about how to use it to his own advantage, and his own unrequited love for his friend, he had come up with the perfect plan, which he planned on executing on their date.

Not that he was tired of hearing all about Takahiro, and just how wonderful he was, but it was starting to bug him. Hiroki sighed, his body slumping further in his seat, hating the thoughts that were swirling in his mind. He wasn't bitter...yes, yes he was. He was bitter that it couldn't be him. He wanted to be the one that Akihiko talked about, that paid that much attention to. Since they had become friends when they were children, he had always pined after him from afar. And now, as he thought about what he was going to propose to him, he might actually get what he wanted.

A hand touched the top of his head, ruffling his scalp. "Why are you sitting like that? You know that will just cause your back to hurt." The person the hand was attached to leaned over Hiroki's shoulder.

"You're early," Hiroki muttered, keeping his eyes focused on his book. When he felt that hand in his hair, he knew it was the man that was on his mind, as no other person touched him like that. He could feel his palms begin to become clammy, his nerves shooting into orbit. "I thought you had class until 6?"

Akihiko sat down across from him, setting his books on the table. "Class got out early. I decided to check the library to see if you might be here, and here you are."

"Am I that predictable?" Hiroki glanced up, as he closed the book on his lap. He met Akihiko's violet eyes, and felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. "What's wrong with wanting to be ahead in my classes?"

"Nothing," Akihiko's deep chuckles resonated in Hiroki's chest, sending a shiver down his spine. "Are you ready to go? Or should I just come back in an hour?"

He put his book in his book bag. "I think I'm ready to go now." Hiroki stood up, hoping that his sweater was long enough to cover the semi he was now sporting, thanks to the man sitting across the way. He tended to always be in a perpetual semi-hard state around his taller friend, the beauty of the man hard to ignore. Especially next to someone as plain as himself. He grunted as Akihiko ran his fingers through his hair again. "Must you do that?" His cheeks turned pink as the taller man walked in front of him.

"Come on, maybe we'll be able to get a nicer table since we're going earlier." Akihiko walked out of the library, Hiroki struggling to keep up with him.

He shivered as the night air hit his skin, only wearing a light jacket over his Oxford shirt. Akihiko wore a sweater over his own Oxford shirt, with the collar tucked down nicely, thoughts of taking off that shirt now occupying Hiroki's mind. He was so lost in his fantasy, that he almost collided with a light pole. A strong hand gripped his shoulder seconds before the impending collision. "Thanks," he muttered under his breath, Akihiko's warm palm staying put.

"You sure you're feeling okay, Hiroki?"

Looking down at his feet, he nodded his head. "I'm fine. Just a little hungry. Didn't get much time to eat a proper lunch today, as I was busy studying."

"You need to take care of yourself better." The arrived at the restaurant, and were shown to a private booth towards the back. "I told you we would get a better seat coming this early."

Hiroki's heart was beating louder as he sat down in the booth, facing his friend. "Let's get a bottle of wine with dinner." He picked up the menu, even though he knew what he was going to order, as he always ordered the same dish each time they came to this particular restaurant.

"Sure. You want to just walk back to my place after we finish? That way, you don't have to worry about stumbling home?" A small smirk adorned Akihiko's face.

Rolling his eyes, Hiroki sighed. "You think I'm such a light weight? You're crazy. But fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll just crash at your place tonight." He had hoped that that's what he would suggest, after making his suggestion about the wine. He was glad that Akihiko was just as predictable as he was, and was pleased that things seemed to be going according to his plan.

After a bottle of wine, Hiroki was feeling a lot looser than he had before, and the two were seemingly having a good time talking about absolutely nothing. They both finished their meals, and then began the fight for who would take care of the bill.

"Let me take care of it, Hiroki. I got an advance for my book, so I'm not hurting for money right now." Akihiko tried to grab the bill from his hands, but Hiroki kept a death grip on it. They did this every single week, and it always ended up in a draw.

Hiroki glared at him. "Why do you have to throw it in my face that you're a published writer now? I don't see what the point is. You know that I buy your books, so that advance is really coming from my pockets, don't you think?"

"Fine," the object of his fantasies sighed exasperatedly. "But why are you making a big deal about this? I just offered to pay. And we didn't drink the cheapest wine."

"I know!" Hiroki put his bank card in the leather padfolio, setting it upright on the table. "Could you please just stop bringing up how expensive tonight was? Don't make me walk home." He flagged their server down, who took the payment from the table.

Akihiko's cheeks were rosy, probably from the wine, as he chuckled softly. "I guess I know how to push your buttons, hmm?" He pushed his glasses up on his nose, the small action making Hiroki's pants become just a teeny bit more snug.

"If you say so," Hiroki's shoulder slouched as he sunk into the booth. He just wanted to get out of there, before he lost his buzz and his nerve. He wanted to be enjoyably drunk when he laid out his plan for his friend, and had no desire to sit here and let that feeling go away. The server came back over with his card, and he quickly signed the restaurant's copy before putting his card back in his wallet. "Come on, you've got more wine at your house?"

His friend nodded his head. "You know that I always keep a supply at my place for such occasions. You want to walk? Or cab it? My treat."

"You're so lazy." Hiroki stood at the curb with him, gesturing to a cab.

"Ah, but who's the one hailing the cab?" Akihiko chuckled. "It seems like I just had to twist your arm to make that happen."

A cab stopped at the curb directly in front of them. "Oh shut up," Hiroki yanked open the cab door, allowing the taller man to get in first. He slipped into the cab, and closed the door, accidentally knocking into Akihiko's knee. He gave the cabbie the address, and they took off into the dark night.

Hiroki held his book bag tightly over his lap, covering himself up as their cabbie swerved in and out of traffic, knocking him against Akihiko's lithe body. He wanted to freak out, but continued to pretend that this was like any other night. Except it wasn't. And the closer they got to Akihiko's place, the faster his heart beat, and the more he wanted to just jump out of the car and run far away. The cabbie pulled up to Akihiko's building, and just as he said he would, Akihiko paid for the cab, pushing Hiroki out of the cab with his foot.

They walked up to his door together, Hiroki trying to not shuffle around too much. He knew that his friend would know something is wrong, and he didn't want to come across being nervous. The front door opened, and Akihiko invited him in with a small gesture of his hand. Slipping his shoes off, Hiroki made his way into the apartment, setting his book bag down by the door. "Where's the wine?"

"In the fridge," his friend pulled out his pack of smokes and lit one up, settling down on the couch. "There's a nice white on the bottom shelf, if you prefer that over red. Otherwise, the red on the wine rack near the fridge."

Knowing his way around the kitchen better than he did in his own apartment, Hiroki grabbed two wine glasses and the bottle out of the fridge. He quietly walked over to his book bag and pulled something out, slipping it into his back pocket, as he walked back into the kitchen. He could feel the object, feeling like it was burning a hole through his pants. "Hey, how are things with Takahiro going?" He asked casually, pouring them both a glass of wine.

"Takahiro? I guess things are going okay for him. He's busy taking care of his younger brother, and is really busy with work." Akihiko took the glass that Hiroki offered him, and took a long drag from his smoke. "I met up with him for some coffee before coming to find you in the library."

Those words stung. "Oh? I thought you said your class had let out early?" Hiroki took a large gulp of his wine, sitting down on the couch near where his friend sat.

"It did, but I had already had plans to get with him after class. I was early to our appointment, remember? I could have still shown up at the normal time," Akihiko took another long drag of his smoke. "You know how I feel about him."

"I do," Hiroki nodded his head, finishing his glass of wine. "Hey, Akihiko..."

He watched his friend get up from the couch and head into the kitchen. "What is it, Hiroki?"

"When's the last time you got laid?"

The fridge door opened and closed. "I'm not sure. Maybe a few months ago? Maybe longer?" He walked over to where Hiroki sat and poured some more wine into his glass. "Why? Did you get laid recently?"

"N-No..." The blush came back, this time Hiroki was unable to hide it from his friend. "But.."

"But what?" Akihiko walked back towards the fridge.

Taking a deep breath, Hiroki drank more wine, and quickly stood up. He walked over to where his friend stood, and said what he had been wanting to say to him for years. "Akihiko...why...why don't you pretend I'm your lover, and fuck me. You know that Takahiro is never going to let you have him, so why not use me?"

His friend turned around fast, his eyes larger than they had been before. "What did you say?"

"I said," Hiroki walked closer to him, knowing that it was either now or never. "I said you should fuck me." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the necktie that he had put there earlier, holding it up with one hand. "We'll use this, so the illusion will be complete."

He closed the distance to his friend, a nervous smile on his face, happy to see that Akihiko had not run away from him. His hands trembled as he lifted the makeshift blindfold up, tying it tightly on the back of Akihiko's head. Hiroki reached for his hand, and carefully led him towards the bedroom. He could feel his clammy palm press against his own, his heart beating faster as he guided Akihiko to the bed. The taller man still had not said a word, but Hiroki could hear his labored breathing. He pulled off the sweater that Akihiko was wearing, and began to struggle with unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt. Once they were finally all undone, Hiroki began to unbuckle his pants, but was stopped by Akihiko's hands.

"I'll do that," his deep voice rumbled. "Take off your pants."

Hiroki bit his lip, not wanting to seem overenthusiastic by what he had just said to him. For so long, he had wanted to hear him say those words, and here he was, finally saying them. He knew that it wasn't meant for him, but he didn't care. He just wanted to have this...this fantasy of his finally come true. He knew he was setting himself up, but he didn't care. He wanted to give his friend something that he knew that his precious Takahiro would never give to him. He silently unbuttoned his shirt, and took off his pants, leaving his shirt on. He turned around and saw that Akihiko was waiting for him in the bed, his cock out, his pants just barely on his hips. Hiroki had hoped that he would get fully undressed, but beggars couldn't be choosers, so he said nothing.

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the bed, and straddled his friend's waist. He blushed brightly, as Akihiko pressed a small bottle of lube into the palm of his hand. Understanding, he took the small bottle and began to drizzle the liquid onto Akihiko's cock, then took a little bit on his own fingers. He didn't know if the illusion would be shattered if he made Akihiko stretch him, so he took it upon himself. Leaning forward, he pushed his two fingers into himself, moaning low at the sudden penetration. He could feel just how turned on Akihiko was, as the man underneath him began to lift his hips upwards. Hiroki felt he was stretched as good as he could be, and pulled his fingers out slowly, his hand brushing against Akihiko's rigid arousal.

"Say his name," Hiroki whispered into Akihiko's ear, as he slipped down onto his cock, moaning low as he sheathed himself completely.

The hands that would ruffle the top of his head were suddenly on the sides of his face, fingers interlacing through his strands of hair. He moaned as his hips rolled up, pushing Akihiko deeper inside of him, his body still trying to adjust to the girth. Hands clung to his hair, as Akihiko began to moan softly. "Nnngh...hiro..." His stomach dropped as he heard part of his name fall from his lips. But then, "Nnngh...Ta...Takahiro..." The moment the other's name was muttered, it was like another stab to his heart. But it was too late to stop now. He wanted to finish this, wanted to find completion, wanted to feel him come inside of him, giving him what he had longed for for so many years.

Reaching down, Hiroki began to stroke himself, not wanting to lose the touch of Akihiko's hands, which were alternating between being buried in his hair, to gripping his hips tightly. Their bodies moved together, hips rocking against each other, fitting together perfectly. He stared at the blindfold, wishing he could see his friend's violet eyes, but again, knew that in order for this to work, that blindfold had been a necessity. He rocked his hips faster, moaning softly as Akihiko kept repeating Takahiro's name, Hiroki dying a little each time it came out as the last half of his name, making it feel like the man underneath him was really with him, and not his fantasy lover.

He leaned his head forward, hands back in his hair once more as his hand stroked faster. "I..." He couldn't give the man any warning, as he suddenly came, after one particular rough thrust from Akihiko. He fell into ecstasy, his orgasm hitting his body hard. He heard Akihiko moan low, his fingers pulling tight on his hair as he followed him over, whispering Takahiro's name one last time, as he rode out his release.

Hiroki panted softly, staring at the mess he had made on Akihiko. His friend began to get up from the bed, effectively having Hiroki slip off of him. Still panting softly, Hiroki watched as his friend walked away from the bed, pulling the blindfold off as he headed towards the bathroom. He felt his heart begin to shatter, knowing as soon as Akihiko had done that, he knew he was regretting his decision to partake in this fantasy. Trying not to lose it, Hiroki got up from the bed and quickly got dressed, ashamed by what was now happening. He had never thought it would be this awkward, but he should have known. Nothing happens without a consequence. And this was his consequence. He finished getting dressed and left the bedroom, not bothering to pick up the discarded blindfold off the floor.

Grabbing his book bag, he slipped his shoes back on and fled from the apartment, trying to not hear Akihiko's moans ring in his ears. He didn't bother hailing a cab, preferring to suffer in the cold night air, as he still could feel Akihiko inside of his body, their bodies so close together. Wiping his eyes, he refused to spill any tears for himself, knowing that he was the one to get himself into this mess.

He stood in front of his apartment, his hand shaking as he tried to unlock his door. "Fuck," he muttered, still struggling with the door. Finally, it unlocked for him, and he stumbled into the room. He pushed the door closed, and sank to the floor, the tears finally beginning to fall. What the hell have I done? As happy as he was that he had finally gotten to be with him, he hadn't expected it to hurt this bad. Pulling himself up from the floor, he stumbled to his bed, and crashed face down on it, tears still falling as he heard that deep voice inside of his head, still saying the other man's name, and never his own.

What's done is done. Hiroki curled up into a ball, and decided that tomorrow, he would go for a walk to the nearby park, hoping that some fresh air would help him clear his mind, and his conscience.

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A/N: And we all know who he goes and meets in the park. :) Thanks for reading!